We get emails like this one:

Spike TV will launch a nationwide search this week to find undiscovered comedic talent for a new late-night talk show. The series is being developed and executive produced by Thom Beers, owner of Original Productions (The Deadliest Catch, Ice road Truckers, Ax Men and Monster Garage.)

The new late-night entry will differ from the typical late-night chatter of movie stars and politicos and will seek out ordinary people doing extraordinary things. The host search will focus on the same types: undiscovered comedic talent who mirror the regular, everyday guys the show will target.

Casting directors will scour the country and hold open calls in New York, Chicago, Atlanta, Los Angeles, and Dallas (times and dates tbd), seeking two males who appear to be in their late twenties to mid-thirties. The perfect candidate will have a likeable, regular-guy appeal with inherent comedic talent. Candidates selected will be flown to Los Angeles for a screen test with network executives.

We like that part about "appear to be in their late twenties." (We wonder how many candidates will actually be younger than late-twenties to mid-thirties, but appear to be so. We would guess very few. And probably none of them would live in Los Angeles, owing to that city's pressure to appear younger than one's actual chronological age!)

For more information, contact Erin Tomasello erin(at sign)metalflowersmedia.com and make sure to include contact info, name, age, location and a link to stand-up.

The headline, in the University of Wisconsin- Parkside Ranger News review is the rather cumbersome "Nationally Known Stand-Up Comic Louis Ramey Ignites Laughter from Passive UW-Parkside Audience." And if you think that's kinda rambly, check out this gem from author Michael Maxwell's review of Louis Ramey's October performance:

Ramey repeatedly made advances at the young college female audience members, even though stating that he had a girlfriend, to keep them attentive and interested, and the strategy remained effective throughout the one-hour comic skit.

We became aware of the review because Ramey himself linked to it in his most recent Facebook status update. ("I've got to stop doing shows at colleges," was his weary but tongue-in-cheek statement.)

Our first impression of the review was that it sounded not unlike a police report-- stilted language, odd phrasing, detailed yet oddly cryptic descriptions of familiar things. Then we began to read it like it was the impressions of a space alien who had never before seen a comedy show before, understood the cultural implications and rituals, but clearly didn't "get" the humor because of the vast divide between his galaxy and ours.

What seemingly could possibly have been the finish of sexually charged rhetoric quickly became a humorous yet racially charged juxtaposition of the Amish tradition and American ghetto lifestyle. What was hilarious and downright original comic material was also accented by an ever-present realism, which is that America truly is a radically diverse and (hopefully less) racially turbulent atmosphere.

Consume mass quantities!!

We hate to dump on the college newsie, but it's hysterical! (And The Male Half remembers what it was like to be an aspiring writer for a college newspaper. He assures Mr. Maxwell that there is hope that, one day, he can turn it around.)

And we admire Ramey for linking to it. He is indeed brave for bringing to light this painfully detailed account of what must have been an excruciating (if probably highly-paid) gig. Or was it excruciating? We're not sure! And we're not sure if Mr. Maxwell truly enjoyed it. (Although there are some indications that he did.)

We do know that we enjoy Ramey's performance whenever we see it and that the folks at UW-P were lucky to have him!

And it's Gawker's Mike Byhoff... again.

Byhoff is a former television video editor who now writes on the subject of television for online gossip rag Gawker.com. We trashed him last year for calling George Lopez, Wanda Sykes and Joe Koy lazy and "racist" for telling similar Tiger Woods jokes on television.

Byhoff is at it again, this time calling Jay Leno a thief based on two jokes from Leno's Monday monologue. One of them, Byhoff claims, is ripped off from former Massachusetts governor and presidential candidate Mitt Romney. The other is a Tiger Woods joke allegedly stolen from an ESPN.com columnist.

Neither joke is particularly good, but neither is particularly bad. And, we contend, neither indicates theft.

The first joke employs a device similar to that used by Romney, in a speech on February 18th, at a gathering in Washington. Romney said:

I spent the weekend in Vancouver. As always, the Olympic Games were inspiring. But in case you didn't hear the late-breaking news, the gold medal in the downhill was taken away from American Lindsey Vonn. It was determined that President Obama is going downhill faster than she is.

Leno, in his Monday night monologue (with Lindsey Vonn coming up as his second guest of the evening, said:

She was amazing, did you see her? When it comes to going downhill, nobody's faster. Okay, maybe NBC.

The joke is admittedly similar to Romney's. It's self-deprecating and it's a dig at his employer and it will neither change the world or cure cancer.

But for Mike Byhoff, it's evidence of something far more sinister.

The second joke in question is simple and hinges on a bit of wordplay. Leno quotes Tiger Woods as "returning to Bhuddism... as opposed to what he was practicing before-- that was 'Booty-ism."

Byhoff cites a tweet from an ESPN.com columnist Shane Igoe, who tweeted the Bhuddism/Booty-ism joke the day of Woods' presser, as evidence that Leno is stealing. ("We received a tip..." says Byhoff.)

Neither joke is groundbreaking. Neither is very "fresh," when one considers that Woods' conference was only one day after Romney's speech. (And, to be quite honest, Mr. Igoe should hardly be thumping his chest for coming up with the Booty-ism gag! It may have made it into the Twittersphere quickly, but, as a topical gag, it's nothing to Tweet home about.)

To Byhoff, however, the jokes indicate that Leno is a thieving hack. He goes into Comedy Detective mode to prove his point, complete with Youtube clips and Twitter screenshots.

He seems to have an unhealthy fixation on standup comics, particularly standup comics who host television shows. Of course, we have a fixation on standup comics... but we're standup comics! We see no mention of standup comedy in Byhoff's bio. Of course, this doesn't preclude him from commenting on standup, but he seems to have a lot of bad things to say about them. And a lot of it is pure horse hockey. Like this, about Leno's monologue:

Leno should receive the benefit of the doubt, though. These jokes—- while bad—- are certainly obvious for a comedy writer that has to churn out 30 one-liners a night. The thing is, we won't give Leno the benefit of the doubt. Jay Leno has a history of stealing material and ideas, and those jokes were both cheesy (right up Jay Leno's alley), and accessible to Leno and his writers. And just the fact that Jay Leno made a Buddhism/Bootyism joke on his first night back should make everyone shake their heads in collective disbelief.

Leno has no such "history of stealing material and ideas." Anyone who says so is lying or mistaken. He has a reputation for delivering a lengthy monologue five nights a week that is broad in its appeal and that rarely challenges the listener. He does not, however, have any kind of a reputation for theft. In his live standup act, he has a reputation for being a creative, prodigious and hard-working standup comic-- perhaps legendarily so.

But this is apparently news to Byhoff.

It might be argued that Leno should have resisted the temptation to do the gag. The Tiger Woods press explosion occurred more than two weeks prior... while Leno was off the air. In the topical humor game, such opportunities are frequently missed. In this case, it might have been better to let this joke go in favor of one that was more topical. But to cite its inclusion in Monday's routine as evidence of outright theft is ludicrous.

A staffer who comes up with such a joke-- especially a staffer that is charged with generating a high volume of topical jokes for a network television show-- knows that it would have a very short "shelf life." And he is also acutely aware that such events as Woods' press conference will be watched by millions and that hundreds of jokes about it will be instantly written and circulated-- via Twitter, Facebook, blogs and water coolers. Under normal circumstances, however, neither of these two factors are justification for said writer to withhold or turf such a joke. But the passage of more than 15 days is a very strong incentive to leave the joke out. By that time, even a grandmother or two might have come up with such a punchline. It is the passage of time that makes the joke egregious, not the relative weakness.

A very good case could have been made that Leno's monologue was weak, even by Tonight standards. Further, there is little question that both jokes should have been left out.

But to go so far as to say that they indicate a propensity to steal material is unnecessarily harsh and perhaps indicates some sort of personal grudge on the part of Byhoff. At the very least, Byhoff seems, once again, to be ignorant of how television comedy writing works (or sometimes fails to) and even seems somewhat mystified as to how humor ricochets around the popular culture. He seems particularly ignorant of the ways and wherefores of topical humor and its peculiar rules and customs. Odd, considering that Gawker is representing him as an expert on television.

The article about his death is here. Funeral arrangements to be announced.

The well-known owner of Rumor's Restaurant and Comedy Club has passed away. Ross Rumberg, 58, died Sunday night.

"After years of struggling with health issues Ross' heart seized (sic) to function. He was resuscitated several times throughout the night but because of the extended amount of time he arrested, irreversible damage had been done and no further resuscitation efforts were made during his final arrest," said close friend Rebecca Fada on Monday.

To accommodate the schedule of this season's host, Craig Robinson (The Office, "Hot Tub Time Machine"), the producers of Last Comic Standing have changed their schedule a bit.

The open call in Los Angeles, it has been determined, will take place March 6.

And the New York open call has been moved to March 21.

We originally posted it here. That posting has since been corrected. You can find other details there. And don't forget to scroll down and check out the LCS FAQ.

We just got an email from FOS Bonnie McFarlane. She seeks... well, we'll let her tell it:

Dear Female Comedians,

Rich Vos and I are currently looking for footage of female comedians onstage to be used in a theatrically released documentary that we are making about... funny women. The tapes should be shot independently, not from a tv show or professional showcase. There is a release form (see below) you need to print, fill out and sign to send with your MiniDV or DVD.

Send to:

Rich Vos
P.O. Box 7799
Hillsborough, NJ 08844

Thanks and we look forward to your submission.

Bonnie McFarlane

Here's the Release Form. It's a PDF. Clicking on the link will automatically open it... if you have Adobe Acrobat Reader. (If you don't have Adobe Acrobat, you can download it, for free, here.

Every so often, a group or an association or a "union" pops up that purports to represent comedians or offer them group benefits such as health insurance. Comedians might want to think long and hard before cutting a check to the most recent one to emerge.

The brief description on their website says that this most recent association was "formed to provide group benefits and services to Comedians and those who support the Comedy Industry."

There's one very big problem: The company that they chose to provide health insurance, Associated Health Professionals, cannot provide health insurance to a huge number of the group's potential membership.

Just for fun, we emailed AHP to ask them if they could offer health insurance to New Jersey residents. (Of course, we knew the answer would be "No." The boys in Trenton long ago restricted just who could or couldn't offer health insurance to Garden Staters. Under the guise of "protecting the consumer," they passed legislation that allows exactly eight companies to do business here. Or, to look at it another way, the laws they passed are so restrictive, only eight insurance companies found it anywhere near profitable to do business here. This is most unfortunate, as there are hundreds of health insurance companies in America, but the vast majority cannot do business with residents of the eleventh most populous state in the union. As a result, premiums are sky-high and companies such as AHP can't offer group rates to professional associations.)

Since we couldn't get AHP to answer our question (after two attempts), we found the answer in a letter to the American Association of Woodturners:

AHP cannot offer medical insurance coverage in the states of Maine, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, or Vermont due to state health insurance laws. Due to state mandates, there are limited health insurance opportunities in New York and New Jersey. Alaska and Hawaii have limited policies available as well.

Hmmm... we wonder if there are any comedians living in New York or New Jersey? Or Massachusetts?

On the member benefits page is a long list of "Group Insurance Products," which lists "Health," "Dental," "Pharmacy," etc., but there's an asterisk next to each. Scroll down the page and the asterisk indicates:

*Insurance products are not available yet

Nor will they ever be, for a huge number of comedians residing in the states named above.

Wait... what's this? Under "Latest News" comes the "SPECIAL BULLETIN" that they've "assembled a comprehensive plan of a variety of insurance options." Clicking on the "Member Insurance" link eventually leads to a form on the AssociationPros.com website. (We filled one out and got no response.)

The website is void of personality. By that we mean that there doesn't seem to be any human beings behind it. When someone is asking you to hand over $89, it's nice to know who will be cashing that check.

Caveat emptor.

Or was that comedy that it killed?

We always confuse comedy and curling.

But seriously, folks: Have you caught curling fever? USA Network (part of the NBCUniversal family of outlets) has been devoting hours to both men's and women's curling. And there are reportedly dozens of curling clubs and venues popping up all over the U.S. At previous Olympics, early rounds are usually sparsely attended, with crowds swelling only in the "medal rounds," but this year, a 5,000-seat venue has been sold out from the very first stone!

So why is it hot now?

Because it's on TV. Millions were exposed to curling when NBC covered it at the Torino games four years ago. It's been getting gobs and gobs of television time this year. Folks just can't get enough.

Television has that effect.

Expose something via television and (with few exceptions), it will mushroom in popularity.

When we observe this phenomenon, we're reminded of the meme that "television killed comedy." Who started that anyway? And why? And why were so many comics eager to perpetuate the premise.

Was it club owners, seeking to find a reason for the failure of their venues? Whenever folks deal with failure, they tend to find a scapegoat.

Concepts like "TV killed comedy" become accepted wisdom and then seep deeper into the culture and become inviolable. To this day, we hear comedians, agents, club owners and others utter the phrase (or a variation) in interviews.

The media loves stuff like that. It makes for great copy. And, since they're merely entertainment or features writers, they aren't really obligated (or inclined) to actually investigate the claim and either verify it or debunk it. So the idea carries on.

And, as a result, there hasn't been much comedy on television these days. Oh, sure, there's Comedy Central churning out half-hours and specials. But that's cable. And they skew younger. There's the occasional comedian on a late night show here and there, but those spots are fewer compared to 20 years ago. And primetime network television? Forget about it.

There's a market out there. And there's no shortage of mature, experienced, competent comedians out there. Where are all the standup shows or specials? Some brave soul has to buck the conventional wisdom and champion comedy again.

Abbreviation madness!

Note: They are NOT acronyms... acronyms must be pronounceable. We suppose one could refer to the NBC reality show by calling it "Licks" or "Lacks," but that would sound goofy. Mind you, if judged on previous seasons of the show, it would be appropriate to call the show "Licks" or "Lacks." But, from what we hear, the upcoming season will not lack. It will be, we are told second- and third-hand, "comedian-friendly."

We are understandably skeptical. But we are willing to give the producers the benefit of the doubt. Herewith is their Frequently Asked Questions list from the show's Facebook page:

What time should I arrive?
-Auditions will run from 9am to 6pm. We recommend arriving early as we cannot guarantee the number of people the judges will have time to see.

Is parking available?
-Production does not provide parking. There is street parking around the Improv in LA. We do not recommend driving in NY, as there is no parking at Gotham.

What should I bring to the audition?
-Please bring a picture ID AND I-9 documentation (US Social Security Card, US Passport, or Greencard).

What do I do once I get to the club?
-Get in line...further instructions will be given as needed.

Is there paperwork I can fill out?
-Paperwork will be completed at the audition prior to your performance.

How long is the audition?
-You have 2 minutes to impress the judges in the initial round.

What happens if I advance?
-If the judges select you to advance to the showcase round, you will be given the information at that time.

Is there an age limit?
-You must be over 18 to audition

How can I attend the showcase taping in the audience?
-Contact the Improv in LA & Gotham in NY directly to purchase tickets.

Will you be auditioning in any other cities besides NY & LA?
-No. We will only be in NY & LA this season.

Stay tuned.

We worked at the Joke Joint this past weekend. Technically not Minneapolis, but Bloomington. But always a good time.

The Female Half displayed tremendous courage-- playing hurt (elbow effusion, arm in a sling) and sick (head cold)-- but the crowds were tremendous and the weekend a success.

On Saturday evening, Rabbi Bob Alpler stopped by and did a splendid guest set on the second show. ("My first comedy club set in ages," says Alper.) He was in town to do a Sunday evening synagogue show in St. Paul with Houston-based comedian Mo Amer. Amer is one of the revolving Muslims that Alper performs with in a show entitled "One Muslim. One Jew, One Stage." Amer flew into Minneapolis very late and stopped by the club well after the room had emptied. It was a pleasure to meet him.

Also stopping by was Dan Schlissel, CEO of Minneapolis-based Stand Up! Records.

Our host for the weekend, Rick Logan, sent us a link to a Youtube video produced by Eric Lyden called "Bring Her." He brought it to our attention after reading our most recent condemnation of bringer shows. (For that posting, entitled "They Have No Shame," scroll down or click here.)




Photo credit: Ken Reed

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse.

The comedy club (and we use that term advisedly) that opened up in the former Rascals spot in Cherry Hill, NJ (just seven minutes from where we live), has sunk to a heretofore unimaginable depth. They're advertising "The Best Bringer Show" on their website.

That's right-- it's not just a shitty bringer show, no, no, no! It's the best bringer show.

This would be an abuse of the English language, because using the word "best" implies "good" to begin with. And there ain't nothing good about a bringer show. Especially a bringer show on a weekend!

We ask the question: Is there a better way to thoroughly bone your customers-- and thoroughly taint comedy in South Jersey, quite possibly forever-- by charging customers top dollar to see a weekend show that is populated mainly with amateurs whose only qualification for being onstage is that they were able to intimidate, harass and harangue their "friends" into paying to see them embarrass themselves on a comedy club stage.)

The answer, sadly, is "YES!" (If you are Sarcasm proprietor Steve Trevelise.) Turn the whole thing into an audition. The website promotes their Friday, March 5, show by throwing in the tagline, "Get noticed by a talent scout!"

When you click for details, you're treated to the following:

Sarcasm believes "Bringer Shows" should be a win-win situation. so on Friday March 5th

Sarcasm presents a special "Bringer" show for experienced comics only. Suzy Yengo owner of the Catch A Rising Star National Chain and Prime Time Comedy Club in Sayreville will be in attendance and scouting new talent.

In order to get on stage you must be at least an emcee and must bring at least 8 people... no exceptions.

You will receive 5-7 minutes stagetime, make it count.

Sign ups through "Contact Us" will be fist (sic) come first serve.

Everyone who performs will receive 20 dollars.

get NoTiceD get PAID
ONLY AT SARCASM

We're reminded of the scene from Fox's (sadly) short-lived television series Action where, during a pitch session, Jay Mohr's Peter Dragon character presents the Beverly Hills Gun Club prayer shawl to the rabbi. The rabbi says, with a mixture of anger, confusion, weariness and pragmatism, "This is wrong on so many levels."

It's not bad enough he's torturing paying, weekend customers with an open-mike night (customers who also have a two-item minimum, with some of the highest prices we've ever seen at a comedy club, including those in NYC), but it's a bringer show.

On top of that, he's incentivized the poor amateur bastards in the region by dangling a "talent scout" in front of them. Of course, this is something that any decent comedy club does for its local talent... but it doesn't charge them for the privelege! (Oh, sure, technically, the comedians aren't "charged," and they're given $20, but they're called upon to spend their time and energy and their social capital to rope five or eight or a dozen audience members into paying admission to what is basically an open-mike night.)

This whole thing makes Trevelise quite possibly the sleaziest (or, perhaps the dumbest) comedy club owner to ever walk the earth. Suzy Yengo should be embarrassed to be part of this trainwreck. As the owner of a "national chain" of comedy clubs, she surely has other ways of finding talent. That she would consent to be part of this abomination speaks volumes.

The typo in the bringer show copy-- "Signups will be fist come first serve."-- is unintentionally illuminating. Trevelise has nothing but contempt for comedians. Schemes like this prove it.

Charging your local talent (when you're not located in New York or Los Angeles) quite clearly demonstrates that you are not only oblivious to business realities, but that you are woefully out of touch when it comes to the very real and very necessary role that your club plays in nurturing new talent among the local and regional comedians.

We've always said that a comedy club should not only serve up top-notch comedy talent to its customers (within its budget, of course), but that its stage should be the entry point for aspiring comedians and comedians who are in need of a stage for the purpose of honing material, practicing TV spots, auditioning for gigs, etc. It takes time, energy and care to cultivate this kind of situation. But the payoff for the club and the benefit to the comedians is immeasurable. There is a symbiotic relationship between a club and the local comedians that benefits both. Severing this relationship (or perverting it) hurts both. If your business model doesn't allow a straight-up open mike, that's unfortunate. If your business model demands that you exploit the local comics like "The Best Bringer Show" does, then either your business model (or your ethics) is/are hopelessly flawed.

The best comedy clubs recognize this relationship. The worst ones ignore it and concoct hideous scenarios like the one detailed above.

Everyone we've spoken to about this (and similar) shows is justifiably horrified by the implications, not just for the immediate market but for the rest of the comedy business as a whole. If this kind of underhanded garbage were to gain any ground, the comedy business would be kneecapped.

The only thing that might stop it from spreading might be that it's so obviously backward and damaging (to the local talent pool and to the unsuspecting customers and to the business at large) that it will probably be briefly considered and quickly discarded as the trashy scheme that it is.

Did the Daily Show steal a joke from another comedian? So asks the Gawker.com

They make the case by running a clip from The Daily Show, then screen-capping this tweet from comedian James Urbaniak:



The joke is practically word-for-word repeated by Stewart.

Stolen? We don't think so. It's a joke that might have actually occurred to both Mr. Urbaniak and to one of the TDS writers simultaneously. And to the shame of neither, as it is both an obvious joke and a good one.

Then they go off the rails:

Clearly, Urbaniak is not actually upset with this development. The world of comedy is filled with comedians stealing and buying material from each other. It is well documented that Dennis Leary ripped-off Bill Hicks wholesale and that Carlos Mencia hasn't made an original joke in his entire career.

This demonstrates several things. Not the least of which is a thundering ignorance of the world of comedy.

Comedy is not "filled with comedians stealing and buying material from each other." Haven't you heard, Gawker dudes? Comedians are pretty much self-contained units that write all their own shit. Have been since about Shelley Berman or so. It's in all the books.

Comics, like most musicians these days, take pride in their singularity, their originality. Pretty much the only folks buying material these days are those comics with an insatiable appetite for material due to repeated appearances on television. And, due to the changes in the amount and presentation of standup on television these days, those are few in number.

Way back when, it was commonplace for comedians to steal and/or buy jokes ("Gags," they called them back then) because they were facing the same crowds over and over again (in the Catskills, for instance), or they were not accustomed to creating their own in the first place. This has not, however been the case FOR FIFTY FUCKING YEARS!

To cite Mencia and Leary as evidence that the business is "filled" with comics who steal is akin to saying that popular music is "filled" with artists who steal because George Harrison was found guilty of ripping off "My Sweet Lord" from The Chiffons. Get a grip.

At the bottom, after the original posting, they insert this:

Looks like our thorough investigation into the dark bowels of the comedic world turned out to be nothing more than a coincidence, where two comedic minds think of the same joke. Scandal averted... for now.

It's Gawker. We shouldn't be so concerned. They live for stupid shit like this.

The subtitle of the Jennifer Coolidge profile in the Boston Herald trots out the cougar label. We heard that Coolidge (known for portraying "Stifler's mom" in the juvenile "American Pie" movie) was doing standup.

She cracks us up when she's on the screen. She doesn't even have to speak. So her standup just might be enjoyable.

"When you're an actress in Hollywood, you're literally sitting waiting for that phone to ring," she said. "But when you're doing stand-up it's in your own hands."

She's got that part right.

The Yuk Yuks people are having their annual Laugh Off, their Great Canadian Laugh Off in which they give $25,000 to the winner.

To enter, click here or click on the ad in the upper right corner of this page.

It's a pretty ambitious contest. Let them explain it:

Competing in groups of eight, sixty-four contestants will be systematically eliminated to eight remaining finalists over the course of 8 days.

Starting on Friday, March 19th 2010 eight acts will be showcased daily with two shows on Friday March 26th, Saturday March 20th, and Saturday March 27th 2010 at 7:30pm and 10:30pm. Finals will be held on Sunday, March 28th, when the $25,000 grand prize will be awarded to the Yuk Yuk’s Great Canadian Laugh-Off Champion.

Comics can apply on-line in the following categories:

Canadian Amateur American Amateur
Canadian Professional American Professional
International Amateur International Professional

Randomly by computer we will choose:
8 Canadian Amateurs
8 Canadian Professional
8 International Amateurs
8 American Amateur
8 American Professional
8 International Professional

They provide a full set of rules at their website. Apparently, they aren't kidding when they say that they pick the bulk of the contestants randomly. Of course, they choose a bunch of them via mini-Laugh Offs at the various Yuk Yuks, but as you can see, they select a bunch from the folks who apply online. So hop on over there and read the rules and apply.

We flew (Southwest, of course!) into St. Louis, then drove the hundred miles to Springfield, IL-- the state's capital. We were expected there for two consecutive engagements at country clubs.

The Local Info packet in our hotel room said that there was a Funny Bone five minutes away. And, by golly, they weren't lying. After our Friday night show, we hopped on over and caught the last half-hour of headliner Vince Morris.



It's always great to encounter a fellow comedian on the road. We had seen Morris' special on Comedy Central, we were intrigued by his Sellout Comedy Tour project. And we had met him once before! (At the Las Vegas Comedy Festival... so long ago-- 2003!)

We're back in the comfort of SHECKYmag HQ-- Flying RAWKS!-- and we're working locally this weekend-- at The Comedy Works in Bristol, PA. All is right with the world.

An item on The Politico entitled "Limbaugh Lets Loose," about the Miss America pageant's "Judge of the Night" competition (no doubt an unofficial portion of the proceedings, for amusement only) contained the following:

Limbaugh's moves won him the "Judge of the Night" title. His prize: a "Mr. New Jersey" sash bestowed upon him by the host, Miss New Jersey 1995 Dena Blizzard.

Blizzard is well-known to crowds in South Jersey and Philadelphia as a standup comic. The calendar on her website says she was "Miss America Preliminary Host" on Thursday night.

A Vanity Fair article has wisdom from Joan Rivers regarding the current round of late night wars.

Fox’s The Late Show Starring Joan Rivers was short-lived and widely panned, and is often mentioned in the same sentence as Chevy Chase's disastrous wee-hours outing. She's out at Sundance for her new documentary about her life, A Piece of Work, and spoke with West Coast editor Krista Smith about why Leno isn't funny and why Conan should be grateful to have been fired by NBC.

It's a video interview. Lots of good stuff. As for Rivers' show being the same magnitude goof-up as Chase's: It wasn't nearly as bad. It was bad for vastly different reasons. And it was Fox... then a fledgling network... not the Fox of today. Had Rivers been given the same chance today, with the new and improved Fox, it would give the good ol' boys a run for their money. Many people have been grind up in the gears of a new network trying to make a run at NBC's late night dominance. (Look up Joey Bishop and his late night venture on ABC. The network had been around since 1948, but was only gaining steam for a coupla years before they put Bishop up against Carson. Ask Regis Philbin about it if you ever end up in the same room with him.)

Years later, Fox tried with Chase. The results were legendary. (But hardly Fox's fault.)

Should Conan decide to go with Fox, we doubt that the failures of Chase and Rivers would have any effect on his ability to deliver a competitive show. But all this history does make one wonder... We saw the premiere of Chase's show. It was epic.

As for being any kind of source on the most recent late night wars, Rivers should know: She was at the epicenter of the talent/power quake that was the Tonight Show.

The comments are, as usual, filled with the spittle-flecked rants of people who actually have the time to devote to passionate defenses of the players involved... and dark condemnations of their least favorite players. A nice example:

Joan Rivers bad mouthed the good man who so graciously gave her, her start; Johnny Carson. If anyone ever gave her any benefit of the doubt about her slander, this ought to settle that once and for all.

Huh? What ever.

Meanwhile, the NYT is re-running an opus by Bill Carter, the guy who wrote the book on Letterman, Leno and the network battle for the night, it was called, "The Late Shift: Letterman, Leno and the Network Battle for the Night." Appropriate. Read the giant excerpt here. Click through all seven pages. Or buy the book. We've got a copy here at SHECKY HQ... at least we had a copy... hope it's still around, as used copies are going for $112.50! A great read for anyone in the business. If you can't afford the C-note, check out NYT's re-run of Carter's account.

To win a pair of tickets to the opening night Magners Comedy Standup Stand-off performances and launch party, become a fan of Magners USA, sponsors of a festival... a comedy festival... in Boston... that we had no idea existed until just now. Click on the illustration below to be whisked to their Facebook page. They're giving away five pairs, so calculate your odds and have at it.

Back on the 18th, comic Paul Bond posted the following on his Facebook status:

A WARNING TO COMICS: I'm not a fan of posting negative things in my status but ALL comedians should be aware of a scumbag in the business who is Steve Trevelise. He just cancels a date on you by texting the manager, saying he double booked you. When I called him and asked why it happened, and he basically said if I don't like it, I can go fuck myself.

We saw that coming.

We too had been treated with grave stupidity by Trevelise-- he canceled our Dec. 26th show with little notice, no compensation and no decent explanation-- but we were holding out hope that Trevelise's stupidity was the all too common moronic kind of stupid, and not the inconsiderate or vicious kind of stupid that one encounters (thankfully) only rarely.

Turns out it was moronic, inconsiderate and stupid! A trifecta of mental weakness served with a bonus dollop of some of the worst business instincts we've seen in 28 years in the business.

When we posted about it back in November, we were guardedly optimistic. Then one of the principles-- comic Joe Matarese-- severed ties with the venture. Not a good sign.

After Rascals folded, we lost our "home club," a place where we could headline a couple times a year, get some press, pack the joint and have a good time. That club died a slow death because of mismanagement from afar. But even in its waning months, it drew healthy crowds and actually felt like a comedy club.

When the Sarcasm deal was struck, we had very high hopes! Perfect-- a well-run club just minutes from our house! Now, because of the jaw-dropping ineptitude of the owner, we give the venture little chance of survival. He obviously holds comedians in low regard, he insists on torturing the audiences by emceeing many of the shows and he seems to have little idea of how a comedy club should be run. It's a disastrous combo.

Bond's account of his interaction with Trevelise was probably 100 per cent accurate. Our recent dealings with him via email are stunning in their ham-handedness, rudeness and stupidity.

If there's anyone out there with deep pockets and just a shred or two of business sense, South Jersey needs a decent comedy club. There are probably half a million people within a 15-minute drive of any location in Cherry Hill. And, in a few weeks or so, you'll have the entire market to yourself.

UPDATE from a Herald Dispatch story, 2:59 PM Saturday: He's facing one to five years if convicted. Two patrons claimed Dick groped them at the bar. Huntington Bone's manager bailed Dick out with $6,000, claiming nothing happened, that they were only at the bar ten minutes.

According to a press release issued at 12:26 p.m. Saturday from the Huntington Police Department, officers responded to a call to investigate “two alleged incidents of a patron engaging in non-consensual sexual contact with a bar employee and another patron.”

* * * * * *

He's done something to get arrested, this time in Huntington, West Virginia, while booked at the Funny Bone. Details are sketchy.

The 44-year-old is charged with two felony counts of first-degree sexual abuse. He is being held at the Western Regional Jail until his arraignment later Saturday.

What constitutes sexual abuse in the first degree? Not sure what it is in West Virginia, but in Kentucky it's:

510.110 Sexual abuse in the first degree.

(1) A person is guilty of sexual abuse in the first degree when:

(a) He or she subjects another person to sexual contact by forcible compulsion; or
(b) He or she subjects another person to sexual contact who is incapable of consent because he or she:

1. Is physically helpless;
2. Is less than twelve (12) years old; or
3. Is mentally incapacitated; or

(c) Being twenty-one (21) years old or more, he or she:

1. Subjects another person who is less than sixteen (16) years old to sexual contact;
2. Engages in masturbation in the presence of another person who is less than sixteen (16) years old and knows or has reason to know the other person is present; or
3. Engages in masturbation while using the Internet, telephone, or other
electronic communication device while communicating with a minor who the person knows is less than sixteen (16) years old, and the minor can see or hear the person masturbate; or

(d) Being a person in a position of authority or position of special trust, as defined in KRS 532.045, he or she, regardless of his or her age, subjects a minor who is less than eighteen (18) years old, with whom he or she comes into contact as a result of that position, to sexual contact or engages in masturbation in the presence of the minor and knows or has reason to know the minor is present or engages in masturbation while using the Internet, telephone, or other electronic communication device while communicating with a minor who the person knows is less than sixteen (16) years old, and the minor can see or hear the person masturbate.

(2) Sexual abuse in the first degree is a Class D felony, unless the victim is less than twelve (12) years old, in which case the offense shall be a Class C felony.

Take your pick.

We especially like the part where he exposes the lunacy surrounding music licensing.



Nice idea. And great execution!

Of course, it's probably all horseshit-- the Veyron goes for $1.5 to $1.7 million, and they probably only rented it, and "Satisfaction" will get cut out of subsequent re-runs of the episode... if it gets shown again at all!-- but it's still a great comedy idea and it is very much in keeping with the tone and sensibilities of previous Conan-hosted shows. And the audience is getting a thrill out of seeing dirty laundry aired and O'Brien operating with the air of someone who is simultaneously crushed but giddy with the realization that he has nothing to lose by dumping on his soon-to-be ex-employer in a very public way. If NBC had any sense (or sense of humor), they'd join in the frolic and maybe pick up some P.R. points by playing along. Couldn't you see Conan in a fake boxing match with Jeff Zucker? No? Neither can we. Let's face it: People like Zucker and Ebersol have zero sense of humor, otherwise they couldn't have made it to the top of a behemoth like NBC-Universal.

Speaking of which: Isn't that a publicly-held corporation? So... as fake as it is, the Bugatti-Veyron Mouse bit has to rankle some of the stockholders. Maybe it is such bits that will hasten the replacement of Zucker at the top. Those few remaining in the network's employ can only hope.

Speaking of great comedy ideas from Conan-hosted shows, we wonder if The Masturbating Bear (and other characters from Late Night) will actually be regarded as NBC's intellectual property. (We've seen statements to that effect. And such was the case when Lettermen fled to CBS.)

We figure that Conan's writers will merely switch The Masturbating Bear to The Masturbating Dog. And Triumph the Insult Comic Dog will switch from being a rottweiler to a cigar-smoking black bear. (Does Smigel have some sort of special contract? He's been making appearances using the foul-mouthed Rickelsian pooch for some time now. Does he get to walk with the creation?)

From Norm Clarke's gossip column in the Las Vegas Review-Journal comes this account of a Wish I Was There moment:

Don't cross Las Vegas lounge legend Shecky Greene. The angst-filled octogenarian apparently waited decades to get even with fellow funnyman Jerry Lewis.

Sources say Greene, who turns 85 in April, was finishing up his show at the South Point on Jan. 9 when he asked a hotel employee, "Jerry Lewis is here, right?"

Told that Lewis was in the theater, Greene said he had "two things" he wanted to say to the film icon before bringing him on stage.

After lauding Lewis, who turns 84 next month, for his work as host of the Muscular Dystrophy Association telecast, Greene went into a story about the time he appeared on the fundraiser for Jerry's Kids.

Greene, who hadn't performed in Las Vegas for three decades until his return last May, said he was telling Henny Youngman jokes during his telecast appearance when Lewis "gave me 'The Look' -- and I haven't been on since."

With that, he directed a two-word obscenity at Lewis.

Audience members seated near the back of the room were seen looking toward the exit, where Lewis and his group were spotted walking out, according to the sources.

The spotlight started to blink, apparently a signal to close the show. Greene told the crowd "good night" and walked off the stage.

Greene "has sent a letter of apology," according to a source close to the situation.

DAMN! Why couldn't we have been at this show, instead of the one in May?!

Letter of apology? To whom? Lewis? Certainly not the audience... that's a bonus, in our book! It's like going to the Grand Ole Opry and seeing someone collapse from "exhaustion!" (We came close... It was Skeeter Davis' birthday the night we visited the GOE back in 1988 and she was... exhausted!)

Greene doesn't owe anyone an apology. From everything we've ever read, we figure there are hundreds, maybe thousands of people who would like to give that same message to Jerry Lewis.

H/T to C.R.!

The press release says:

LAST COMIC STANDING SEASON 7
Last Comic Standing is back with lucky season 7! This season we’re bigger, better and more competitive than ever! This season we’ll be holding east coast auditions in New York and west coast auditions in Los Angeles. If you think you have what it takes to be the next Last Comic Standing, show us your best two minute set at either of our open calls.

AUDITION INFORMATION:
MARCH 2010
6
LOS ANGELES, CA IMPROV COMEDY CLUB

MARCH 2010
21
NEW YORK, NY GOTHAM COMEDY CLUB

You could be the next LAST COMIC STANDING!

They sent it out as a file with a ".docx" extension... only openable with Word 2007. Hadda use an online file conversion thingie called Zamzar. It worked!

That's it? Just L.A. and New York?

Anyway, the rumor is true-- NBC is bringing back the only primetime show that features standup comedy (now that Jay Leno has been returned to late night television). At least we think it was NBC who sent out the release. (Actually, it was the producers of the show, not NBC-- Ed.) There was no logo. And the return address was a gmail account. Hmmm...

Stay tuned.

CORRECTION has been made to the NY and L.A. audition dates in the press release. It is now correct. Again. It's Mar. 6 or 7... trust us, this time it's right.

The Daily Caller, the "HuffPo-style political news and entertainment site" launched earlier this month by erstwhile CNN talking head Tucker Carlson, has published a piece by The Female Half. She penned the essay, entitled "In Haiti debate, crazy comes from both sides," after recent statements by gaffe machine Pat Robertson and Hollywood "activist" Danny Glover.

Catch her daily musings on politics, culture and entertainment at her blog, "Road Atlas Shrugged."

As we watch late night history being made, with an internet-enhanced, front row seat for this incarnation of Talk Show War II.

FOS Kliph Nesteroff provides an account of a late-night talk show disaster that is rarely talked about... not even by the principal participant-- Jerry Lewis.

Forty-seven years have passed and Lewis has rarely talked about the show. In his most recent book Dean & Me (2006, Broadway) Lewis devoted one sentence to The Jerry Lewis Show. "After a successful stint guest hosting The Tonight Show ... I tried a talk/variety show that didn't quite jell." The book actually devotes more time to a Martin & Lewis anecdote about the time Jerry asked Dean Martin to assist him in picking crab lice from his pubic region (I am not joking). Obviously the disaster is a sore point that Lewis would much rather forget. And as we see another late night disaster play itself out before our very eyes between Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien and NBC, it is easy to see why.

Nesteroff's article is called "Late Night Distemper of our Times." It's well worth the read. And don't skip the notes at the end!

For almost eleven years, we've been alerting our readers whenever anyone in the MSM relies too heavily on clichés or tired stereotypes when writing about comedians. Nathan Rabin, blogging for the Wall Street Journal may take the prize for hackneyed writing. (And, for extra credit, the WSJ accompanies the column with art by "Risko" that depicts Leno being pelted with... wait for it... tomatoes. Is this ironic? Or merely the sign of a sheltered existence? Or is Risko coming up on his 90th birthday and recalling an incident from a vaudeville show he saw once in Walla Walla?)

In the "essay," Rabin tries to explain why comedians are turning on Jay Leno. He breaks out the trite sayings in paragraph twelve:

Comedy writers are, on the whole, a troubled lot. Funny people drink too much. They squander their money. They use drugs. They're prone to depression, insomnia and mental illness, to tumultuous relationships and serial divorces. So when Letterman recently confessed that he'd slept with members of his staff and was the subject of a blackmail attempt it only made comedy writers love him more.

The lives of comedy greats are supposed to be messy: think Richard Pryor or Peter Sellers. We're addicted to the archetype of the sad clown, laughing on the outside, weeping uncontrollably on the inside.

The reason all comics don't like Jay Leno (if you believe that) is because we're all stupid, bitter, immature, narcissistic drunks and addicts. Got it.

And if that's not enough, we (supposedly) despise Jay Leno because he's not a drunk or an addict or broke.

Rabin is a lazy writer who hasn't the skill to disguise his contempt for comedians. Nothing new there. But he spends paragraphs one through eleven taking Leno to task for being unoriginal! "To comedy writers," Rabin says, "Leno's massive success represents the triumph of mediocrity." Which comedy writers would they be? Rabin has no direct quotes. Rabin hasn't even a quote that was offered anonymously.

Neither does he offer any quotes from the "comedy writers" who so effusively support O'Brien. Of course, we have no doubt they exist, but not offering a quote or two here or there-- on either side of the controversy-- is pure sloth. Especially since the opinions are offered as hard facts.

Also, we're puzzled as to why all shows must be the same, why they must all offer the same kind of humor with the same sensibilities. Why cannot O'Brien and Leno exist in the same universe (if not necessarily on the same network)? And why, when one triumphs when the other doesn't, is it and indication that the world is coming to an end, that some sort of horrible injustice has been perpetrated?

We're baffled that Three and a Half Men is the number one comedy on network television. We're mystified that folks can't see the greatness of Better Off Ted. But we understand that it's television. We're mildly annoyed that some great shows have failed to "find an audience," but we can't really muster any genuine anger.

Same with the battle between the late night hosts-- we can't really scare up any genuine emotion on the matter. The television executives, however are another matter.

FOS Larry Getlen has a far more nuanced analysis of the entire situation. Getlen brings knowledge of the business andfamliarity with the history of the whole situation all the while managing to avoid the childish and boorish warmed over Freudian analysis of comedians' psyches.

But it's the other assumption that most aggravates me-- that Leno should just walk away. Why? Because Conan is somehow entitled to the job? This is the television business, folks. How many new comedies and dramas last just a few episodes? When that happens, lots of people see a year or more of work evaporate into nothingness, and lots of people are thrown out of work. But no one rages for them.

Heck, in any business, sometimes people get laid off or fired and their friends have to replace them. That’s life. Do people quit their jobs in solidarity? C'mon.

Many, including Conan himself, cite how he was given weak lead-ins, and had every right to expect more time to develop his show the way Leno initially did. These people are right. Conan had every right to expect more, and in the end, he got shafted, no doubt. But these decisions were made by NBC, not Jay Leno.

Getlen places the blame squarely on NBC. Jeff Zucker, along with the others who engineered the trainwreck that is unfolding before us, played this so badly that he might end up with... nothing. Not Leno, not Conan, not even a network. And, if there were any justice (something that folks seem all concerned with these days), he would end up with no job. Television executives have nearly always managed to corral talent and manipulate time slots and deal with a surplus of talent-- and they've always managed to do so without having the entire affair spill out into the street.

Perhaps, in the age of the internet, such delicate negotiations aren't possible any more. Zucker assumed the reins of NBC in 2000. The internet was just getting warmed up. (Trust us on this-- we had an online magazine at the time and the WWW was like a ghost town compared to what it is now!) Maybe Zucker is wholly incapable of functioning as the head of a television network in the internet age.

Let's face it: He is a dismal failure at controlling the message. He has severely damaged the reputation and/or value of stars and franchises, while incurring the wrath of many of his of his employees and viewers. A lot of the battle for the hearts and minds of the audience has taken place right under his nose-- on the soundstages that he purports to manage. But a good chunk of the conflict has taken place in the blogosphere. He's had a ten-year run at NBC. Perhaps he should step down.

No matter what happens, Leno and O'Brien will probably be gainfully employed.

Nikki Finke says Ron Meyer has been brought in to minimize the damage caused by Jeff Zucker and try to negotiate a deal with Conan.

The deal as sketched puts Jay Leno back hosting The Tonight Show, and Conan O'Brien exiting with a lot of money. But there are still some terms to be worked out-- which is why there hasn't been any announcement yet.

Next stop Fox?

We were awakened by our phone the other day... at 8:10 AM. And the caller left no message. We star-69-ed it and got an Indiana number. We know a few people in Indiana. But they're all comedians. And a comedian would never call another comedian before 10 AM!

We Googled that and got the phone number for the Indianapolis Business Journal. We called it and learned that Kathleen McLaughlin was doing a story on the shrinking comedy business in the capital of the Hoosier State. "City's once-thriving stand-up comedy scene fades" is the title.

We knew that Oneliners shut its doors in June of 2008 after 15 years of operation.

And we had heard that Morty's closed-- their last show was on NYE.

We figure the case could be made that it's shrinking. But we hadn't thought of the Indianapolis market as "fading." And we figure that, considering that the city still has two clubs, it's thriving more than say, Philadelphia (which only has one!) or any number of comparable markets that don't have the luxury of two venues.

But they write these headlines after the interview.

Our conversation with Ms. McLaughlin was pleasant. Our chat resulted in some good quotes, apparently-- our pearl of wisdom kicks off paragraph four and, we daresay, forms a nice cornerstone and pivot for the story!

"Indianapolis is a great market for comedy," said New Jersey-based comedian Brian McKim, who also edits Shecky Magazine, a blog/magazine.

McKim is among the industry insiders who attribute comedy's strong run locally to the presence of Bob and Tom, the nationally syndicated radio hosts who’ve built their show around visiting comics.

"It puts stand-up in the forefront of everybody's brain," McKim said.

WHAT? No link?!?!

Anyway, we stand by what we said. Of course, Indy is not a great market for us personally. We haven't performed there since we moved back east from L.A. in 1993. (Actually, we headlined One-Liners back in 2005 or so... but that's outside the city limits. But The Male Half sat in on Bob & Tom for about three hours, so we suppose that's performing in Indianapolis!)

If you read the story, it's not a "Comedy is dying" story as much as it's a "Running a comedy club is not for everybody" story. One-Liners proprietor Dave Wilson says he was "too busy." The folks that ran Morty's (into the rich, fertile Indiana soil) seemed to have made several fatal business calculations.

From what we hear, the two remaining clubs (now named Crackers) are doing just fine. And, like we said, Indy ranks 33rd among metropolitan statistical areas. 33rd! Two clubs! Not bad!

At #:22 PM today, this hit the wires:

UNIVERSAL CITY, Calif., Jan. 12 /PRNewswire/ -- Conan O'Brien released the following statement.

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I've been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I've been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I've been absurdly lucky. That said, I've been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn't the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn't matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it's always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

SOURCE Conan O’Brien

Emphasis ours. It sounds like he is willing to walk. And this statement is a forehand smash... the ball, it seems is back in NBC's court.

We're posting this from the Bolt Bus. That's right, we're whizzing along the New Jersey Turnpike, laptop ablaze, accessing the internet onboard a bus-- er, luxury motorcoach-- after trekking to Manhattan this afternoon to do an interview for an upcoming documentary about standup comedy. Is not this technology the coolest thing ever? (We mean the internet and the laptop... not the bus so much.)

Bolt Bus: Regular service between Cherry Hill, NJ (minutes from SHECKYmagazine HQ!) and 34th and 8th Ave in NYC for anywhere from $1 to $10 each way. Total time of the trip is about 1:50, sometimes a bit longer, sometimes a bit shorter. We've done it three times now and we've found the buses to be clean and-- so far-- safe. And they've got wireless!! And AC outlets! And a bathroom... although we haven't used it once... because, well, it's a bathroom on a bus!

As for Conan: He sounds crushed. He also sounds like he'd bolt in a second. But he sounds like he'd rather stay. (But we have little faith that NBC will "do the right thing," whatever that is.) Sounds like Leno is the man who is between a rock and a hard place. What. A. Mess.

We feel for all parties involved. Especially Leno. Forced out of 11:30 (when at the top!), compelled to do a show at ten (thereby incurring the wrath of all kinds of Hollywood types), then publicly repatriated to the 11:30 spot for a half-hour show-- all the while keeping his (famously large) chin up.

It's a question we've pondered for coming up on eleven years now.

We were driving through Virginia, listening to the AM band, picking up all manner of stations from who knows where, when we heard a snippet of conversation between two radio hosts who were obviously talking about Artie Lange.

Here's what we heard (from memory):

...he's in a lot of pain, but that's obviously where a lot of his comedy comes from... but we hope he recovers and gets well... but not too well, because we want him to still be funny.

Oh... my.

Here you have two people who have the awesome power of radio at their disposal (and it is awesome, make no mistake), and as they contemplate the eventual fate of a comedian whose bloody near-corpse was discovered by his mother in his apartment after a near-fatal self-inflicted stabbing (nine wounds!), and they sincerely hope that he recovers... but not too much. They hope he recovers, but only to the point where he can still provide them with the (supposedly) pain-based humor that they've come to know and love.

Nice!

From Deadline.com comes all kinds of new info in the ever-changing landscape at NBC! It's a shootout!

That's the word on the street. From Bill Carter, blogging for the NYT:

And while executives said that no final decision has been made, they did not deny that the network is considering moves that could include returning Mr. Leno to his old job as host of The Tonight Show.

Emphasis ours. The inclusion of "could include" makes this interesting. Allegedly, the affiliates are peeved that their newscasts are suffering because of the 10 PM show's weak lead-in.

Earlier, Carter blogged that a rumor "that appeared on a Web site called FTVLive, was followed by an interview with its author on KNX radio in Los Angeles, who cited network sources saying Mr. Leno's show would be dropped, perhaps as soon as after NBC's coverage of the Winter Olympics concludes next month."

Will Conan hold his ground? Can he? Will he get bought out? Whatever will they do with Jimmy Fallon? Will Leno end up on Fox?

Will there be a bunch of writers, tech dudes and others stranded in SoCal? (We can think of worse things.)

Or it might end up with Conan at 12:30, doing it from L.A., Leno at 11:30, just like old times, Fallon bumped to 1:30. What becomes of Carson Daly?!?

We were watching the tube the other night when we saw a promo for the new Michael Cera movie "Youth In Revolt." Yeah, we know-- you gotta really be paying attention to catch one of those ads... they're only running them every six or seven minutes.

One of the stars of the film is Zach Galifianakis.

When they get to mentioning that he's in the movie they identify him as "Zach Galif... uh... Gali... uh... that guy from 'The Hangover!'"

Ha! Pretty clever, huh? You see... he has such a long and unpronounceable name... oh, forget it. If you have to explain the joke...

We've since seen another version of the commercial that actually says his name (and pronounces it correctly). Was it an attempt at humor? Was it an attempt at linking the two movies and capitalizing on the success of The Hangover? (It's closing in on a half billion dollars!) Was Galifiniakis in on the gag? Is he pleased with the goof on his name? Is he a big enough star that he can go by "Zach?" (Or go by "That guy from 'The Hangover?'" So many questions.

A Continental gate agent flagged the passport of Joan Rivers, citing the comedian's two names. (Her name is Joan Rosenberg, but she goes by the name Joan Rivers. You may have heard of her. Apparently Continental gate agents aren't familiar with her.)

Transportation security had a very bad couple of weeks.

But, when you base transportation security on shaky premises and refuse to base it on good, solid logic because it might be "unfair, irrational or degrading" to someone, then you have a situation where Joan Rivers misses her flight.

We know that Rivers hasn't exactly been burning up the airwaves with television appearances lately, but she's an icon. Even a Continental gate agent should have known that Joan Rivers couldn't be a terrorist. Or is the Continental gate agent (and the airline's policy with regard to security) so totally disconnected from reality that she wasn't aware that it was absolutely ridiculous to cause Rivers to miss her flight back to New Jersey? Just how concerned are they with appearances that they would hassle a 76-year-old Jewish grandmother from Brooklyn?

The TSA is in worse shape than we can imagine.

She managed to snap off a few classic Rivers lines.

"If I were going to make up an alias, I wouldn't pick Rosenberg. I'd pick Jolie or Pitt," said Rivers, back home Monday in New York with her sense of humor intact. "Do terrorists wear Manolo Blahniks? I can tell you Donna Karan does not make anything that hides a bomb," she said.

Perhaps the gate agent was a history buff... she might have suspected that Rivers was related to Julius and Ethel Rosenberg and might therefore be carrying a small atomic bomb in her carry on.

The NYT obit lays it all out. She went solo as a comic when her male partner was drafted. The rest is history. (Although not very well known history.)

We're passingly familiar with the name, but we haven't seen her name mentioned in many books or articles.

From April 5, 1959, on The Ed Sullivan Show:



Judging from the description in the Times, we suppose a modern parallel to Carroll would be Rita Rudner.

From the obit:

Ms. Carroll's comic gifts were perhaps nowhere more evident than they were one night in May 1948 at the old Madison Square Garden, when she performed at a benefit for the United Jewish Appeal. Israel had been declared a state that month, and after hearing impassioned speeches and the playing of "Hatikvah," most of the audience was in tears. Then came Ms. Carroll's turn.

It was a delicate spot for a comic to be in, as Mr. Howe recounted in interviews afterward. Unfazed, Ms. Carroll leaned into the microphone. "I've always been proud of the Jews, but never so proud as tonight," she said. "Because tonight I wish I had my old nose back."

That's right: According to the industry rags, LCS may come back.

Why not? It's cheap, it's plugs a hole in the schedule (and, really, that's what it's all about for the failing networks) and it's occasionally funny.

NBC is in talks to bring the series back and Paul Telegdy, the network's head of reality programming, wants to have a new host and format changes, according to a report from Entertainment Weekly's Hollywood Insider.

Telegdy? Who is this guy? Must be new. (Hold on, we'll Google him... well... he's new as of Jan. 5.)

We suppose this means that the show was killed by someone who is no longer at NBC. (Otherwise, the show would stay dead.)

This Telegdy fellow wants to bring it back, but he wants to change it. (So he can claim the credit should it become a ratings behemoth.) He wants a new host and a change in format. Oh, is that all?! Caroline Rhea's out-- she's already hosted a show called The Biggest Losers, so there might be confusion. Just kidding!

It's already a pretty solid performer, so killing it was not the smartest move.

'Comic' averaged 5.2 million viewers and a 7 share among adults 18-49 when it last aired in '08 and does well among adults 18-49 living in homes with $75K to $100k-plus incomes.

It's spawned a crop of comics that can command a good chunk of change for a weekend at your local chuckle dispensary, so it's done some good for the visibility of standup comedy. Standup in prime time is the rising tide that lifts all the comedy boats! So we say: Bring it back.

Besides, we get to pick it apart every week and grouse about it!

The article in the Wall Street Journal sets the scene by describing erstwhile SHECKYmagazine columnist Dan French onstage at the Cap City Comedy Club.

Dan French was telling a joke about being bald when strains of gospel music flooded the comedy club where he was performing.

"Am I being heckled by God?" he asked the audience at the Capitol City Comedy Club.

The music was coming from Fresh Oil Family Fellowship, a boisterous nondenominational congregation that occupies the adjacent storefront in a strip mall here.

The founder of the boisterous church has been asked by the lord... er the landlord, to vacate. The pastor is in no mood to go.

The comedy club management has complained about the noise. French is quoted further as saying that standup is "a very constructed experience" and that, "If there's any distraction at all it doesn't work." Sounds reasonable.

The "Bishop," says religious bigotry and racism is behind the complaints and that his church is being "bullied out of the strip mall because it is a black church." Sounds decidedly unreasonable.

Of course, Rich Miller (Cap City's proprietor) and the landlord are in for a protracted fight. The press will probabaly side with the bishop. And a succession of boneheaded judges will no doubt refuse to back the landlord and the club (even with expert testimony from the learned Mr. French).

Peruse French's archives here.

H/T to T. Reilly!

Is that an accurate summary of the article by Nick Zaino in the Globe?

Well, it's much closer to the truth than that which is offered by Bill Blumenreich. The owner of the Wilbur Theatre has a habit of saying ghastly things about the competition. We suspect he attended the Vince McMahon School of Business.

Bill Blumenreich, Comedy Connection owner, says the club scene is over and the only way to make a profit now is with big names, which is his specialty. With the revenue from his new liquor license, he lined up an impressive roster of national acts at the theater, including Rob Schneider, Sinbad, Richard Lewis, Eddie Griffin, Pauly Shore, and Damon Wayans.

"They’re going to all fail," Blumenreich says of the clubs. "The day of Boston comedians selling tickets have come and gone. These guys are very funny guys, and they have absolutely no ticket-selling ability."

We posted about an '08 Globe article, which quoted Blumenreich just after he finished sinking millions of dollars into the renovation of the Connection's new home at the Wilbur, he said:

"I love the Boston comics," says Blumenreich, "but the day of Boston people flocking to see local comedians has come and gone. You can't squeeze blood out of a stone."

Blumenreich's pronouncements have all the subtlety of a Mike Tyson press conference. Does this goofy shit work on anyone? Are Globe readers/standup comedy fans going to heed Blumenreich's silly predictions and spend their comedy dollars accordingly? Are the other club owners supposed to be quaking in their boots?

Actually, any first year psychology student might conclude that Blumenreich is terrified that he's made a horrendous error. His fear drives him to desperate denunciations of his competitors and of the comedians that toil in "lesser venues."

If the quotes that follow his are any indication, his terror campaign isn't working. And, with the exception of Comedy Vault owner Dick Doherty-- who refers to Don Gavin, Mike Donovan, and Frank Santorelli as "dinosaurs"-- they all seem to have their heads screwed on straight.

Zaino wonders if all the clubs can survive. No such question is ever asked about Boston's rock venues. Their music venues come and go. Large venues exist alongside tiny ones. Gargantuan venues like the TD Garden stoke the city's affection for arena acts and whet their appetite for music of all kinds... which appear at The Paradise and at The Roxy and in small niche spaces.

They can survive with a combination of luck and savvy and marketing and a combination of up and coming local acts, mid-level out-of-towners and good, solid comedians-- what Doherty might call "dinosaurs" (That there is some sharp marketing on Doherty's part!). And if, in nine months, the majority of the clubs are still open for business, we should see an article on how the Boston comedy scene is exploding. But we are not holding our breath.

All this hand-wringing and trash-talking is unseemly.

We'll see for ourselves-- we'll be appearing at Mottley's Jan. 22-23. From what we can gather, it seems as though Boston is regaining some of the strength and stature that it had when we were semi-regulars there in the late-80s/early 90s. Stay tuned.

Brian Logan blogs in the UK Guardian about a gaggle of shows drawing crowds in England. Some of them are one-man shows that pay tribute to giants of comedy (Bob Golding as Eric Morecambe). Others are so-called "tributes acts" (like those "tribute bands").


One such tribute act is Lee Lard, identified as "Britain's number one Peter Kay tribute act."

Peter Kay is/was a writer/producer/actor who enjoyed success on British television for the better part of a decade (no mean feat in England). Lard is promoted as, "Delivering his own hilarious 'Peter Kay' style of standup."

We suspect that Lard's show also contains lots of re-enactments from Kay's three television series. (We don't know, however. And our intrepid blogger Logan didn't bother to go see the show in question, so he isn't exactly sure, either.)

Howeve, this doesn't stop Logan from speculating and worrying. "The very act of appropriating another comedian's shtick makes us uncomfortable," he frets. He wonders: Why is it that something that's "acceptable" in music doesn't seem right in comedy. He bobbles the question pretty good.

He then ponders the nature of standup and how a comic's routine might be thought of as, "an extension of his or her soul." (Commence eye-rolling here.)

(The comparison to music is bogus. Because of ASCAP and copyright laws, musical tributes benefit the artists, at least here in the states. Comedians do not have publishing houses or an ASCAP-like mechanism in place-- SoundExchange notwithstanding. But the instances where anyone would either: 1) actually wish to openly mimic a comedian's act or 2) actually pay money to see such an act, are rare... so why even make the comparison?)

Logan confuses the issue by including both the Morecambe tribute show and the Lee Lard show in his piece. Morecambe died in 1984 after an historic run on British TV. Peter Kay is still quite alive (although, as some argue in the comments, his career and his creative spark might currently be moribund), so such a "tribute" must necessarily be regarded as a different animal altogether.

We're not quite sure how we feel about the whole Lee Lard/Peter Kay thing.

If the comedian who is being so "honored" truly wanted to squash this thing, he probably could do so easily.

And if folks wanted to stay home, they could.

So, it seems that Logan (and the gang who agree with him that this might be a pernicious and horribly crass trend) is more annoyed with the folks who flock to such shows (and less than thrilled with the comedians these throngs adore).

But isn't such a phenomenon ultimately harmless?

We're reminded of the folks who are obsessed with all things "Star Wars." They see all the movies in the series, sometimes more than once. They buy the novelizations, they purchase the "Making of..." DVD, they pay good money to see "Chewbacca: The One-Man Show." Is any of the ancillary stuff any good? Most likely not. It's all probably just cranked out to capitalize on the popularity of the original. Does it signal the fall of our culture? No.

Of course, that's a movie.

But we could easily imagine "Seinfeld: The Live Show!" complete with re-enactments of favorite Seinfeld scenes, all framed by a faux Jerry doing brief standup routines. (We can see faux Jerry now-- the sleeves of his jacket rolled up, his modified mullet riding high!) And we wouldn't be at all disturbed by hordes of Seinfeld fans (of the series, of the comedian) showing up in puffy shirts or Cosmo Kramer garb. Perhaps Steve Wynn should look into installing such a show into the same theater that hosted "Spamalot" (a show "lovingly ripped off from" the 1975 film "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" says their own website).

Reading the comments provides fascinating insight into the preferences and prejudices of Guardian readers-- especially as they apply to comedy tastes. There also seems to be an undercurrent of class warfare and a bit of snobbery. From what we can discern, folks in the southern portion of England (Londoners, we suppose) aren't all that thrilled with folks in the northern portion of England (anyone outside of London)-- they regard their northern neighbors as rubes, as unsophisticated, as undiscriminating consumers of the dreck that is peddled by the BBC under the banner of comedy. Peter Kay seems to symbolize all that is wrong with them northern hicks.

It sounds vaguely familiar. Rather like the contempt that many folks here in America have for the folks who reside in the Southeastern U.S. or in "Flyover Country." And there are a few comedians who are emblematic of those people. And their success is a thorn in the side of many entertainment writers and bloggers and tastemakers.

Commenter catlady141 brings some (sarcastic) sanity to the proceedings:

But it really is a bit much-- all these working class northerners on the "telly." Really, if you can't be amused by nicely-spoken men who've been to Oxbridge, you haven't a sense of humour at all. Some of us want to listen quietly and attentively to our comedy. The sort of loud laughter Kay and his ilk provoke is simply-- dare I say it here-- common. If comedy isn't refined, difficult, upsetting and unfunny, it becomes mere entertainment. And that's the last thing we want.

She's hit the nail on the head. Logan's whinging is merely a chance for him and his readers to marginalize a popular comedian. And, if they can elevate their favorites, and pat their fans (and himself) on the back for being so discriminating, it's a win-win! Anyone having any doubts as to this motivation, just scope out the tiresome (and nakedly catty) comments of Stewart Lee at the end of the blog posting.

Lee's vicious assessment of colleague Michael McIntyre is a bit embarrassing. He implies that McIntyre's work is devoid of paranoia, menace and personality. And therefore, McIntyre has no right to perform (as he did recently) in front of tens of thousands at Wembley Stadium. Sounds familiar. (Wembley Stadium = TD Garden Fleet Center, anyone?)

Read all the comments if you want a snapshot of the British comedy scene.

H/T to Aaron Ward!

Are Howard Stern's threats to quit just "empty talk?" Or is it, like the analysts say, "positioning for contract negotiations?" This is the big question posed in an article by AP business reporter Deborah Yao, as Stern's contract with XM/Sirius comes up for renewal next year.

Will Howard walk on the satellite radio company? He doesn't need them. He doesn't need terrestrial radio. It's going to come down to how much energy, how much entrepreneurial spirit Howard Stern has.

Here's a quote from The King Of All Media himself:

Tomorrow I could go on the internet and start my own channel with my own subscribers. You'd be able to click and watch us on TV, watch us in the studio live, streaming. You'd be able to listen to us streaming. You'd be able to get us on your iPhone. You'd be able to do everything right at the click of the internet. I wouldn't even need to work for a company. I'd be my own company... So true it's ridiculous.

This quote from Stern formed the jumping off point for Jeff Jarvis' October 23 blog posting, "Howard Stern 3.0: The Future of Entertainment."

On the internet, Stern would get the complete freedom he has long lusted after. He would share his revenue and value with no one but his staff. Now that we can listen to radio over the internet-- on our internet-enabled phones – we can listen to him anywhere (is this why he has refused to allow Sirius to put him on the iPhone? I'm still unhappy about that). He would have direct relationships with his fans. He could charge them... He could sell advertising in new ways. Fans could get him anywhere, anytime. If he's smart-- and he is-- he could open up enough tidbits to go viral, letting his audience market him for free.

Read the whole thing. It provides the insight that the AP's business reporter couldn't.

She mentions the new technological options in paragraph 24!

Stern could leave to start a new venture, perhaps a subscription service that sends his show to PCs and mobile devices. Sirius already streams Stern's shows online and through the iPhone. Or he could explore more options in cable TV, where his first pay-per-view special, "Howard Stern's Negligee and Underpants Party," was offered in 1988.

Emphasis ours-- Yao gets this part wrong... As Jarvis noted (and Jarvis knows about stuff like this), Stern is not streamed via the iPhone. (Google it!)

The only way to get Stern on an iPhone is to crack it open and muck with it, voiding the warranty. Rare is the geek with the guts to do it.

Cable TV? Seriously?

Stern will probably flee XM/Sirius. Some folks say that there aren't enough people out there with the equipment capable of getting his content. See the first comment on Jarvis' piece:

My bet is he signs for a 1 or two year extension. I don’t think Internet radio is ready to go portable into cars just yet, and morning drive is his market...

This guy has it backwards. People like Stern drive the technology, they don't wait for it to develop before they jump in. (Sirius signed him for just that purpose-- to induce people to buy the gadgets needed to get him via the bird in the sky and subscribe to the service.) Once Stern goes internet, the number of iPhones and other internet-enabled gizmos purchased will explode yet again-- and this time, the hottest-selling app will have Stern's content. Or maybe strike a deal with Apple. The possibilities are endless.

Excellent article in Reason by Greg Beato on canned laughter. It seems we've always been aware of the laugh track and we've been aware of the dude that created the machine that provided most of the tracks.

Now, the laugh track is edging over into The Land Of Irony. Or so Beato would have us believe.

We've never been offended by it. Some folks have. Paul Krassner, for one:

Canned laughter is the lowest form of fascism. It is propaganda that falsely-- almost subliminally-- implies something is funny when it isn't. It is TV's ultimate insult to the audience.

Calm down, dude... have another hit on the bong and your anger will pass.

Standup comics (which Krassner claims to be) are well aware of the vagaries of crowd dynamics. When one audience member laughs, it can be rather uncomfortable... for him, for the comic, for the audience. When that cascade of laughter comes-- when the entire room laughs after being kick-started by the first audience member to get to the heart of the punchline-- it is great. That first pioneer gives the assembled "permission" to yock it up. Crowd dynamics are a strange beast. Now, multiply that by millions-- an audience watching at home-- and tell us that the laugh track isn't genius.

If it had been divised in the age of the internet, it would have been called, "a virtual audience." As it was concocted in the early days of television, however, it was labeled "canned laughter," and ridiculed by folks like Krassner and others who got way too upset about things that were, after all, harmless.

We don't depend on the laugh track. We enjoy a lot of shows that don't use it. We're not turned off by shows that do use it. And, as for live performances, we can often sit stone-faced in a room full of howling patrons, or we might find ourselves to be the only people in the room howling at the comic onstage. In other words, we have never really depended on cues-- canned or otherwise.

Google "canned laughter" and you'll see a lot of anti-laugh track screeds. So horrified are some Krassner-types (and so eager to condemn the laugh track) that they'll say things like, "Only the first six seasons of M*A*S*H used a laugh track." And they'll post that the DVD collection of Get A Life gives the viewer the option of watching with or without the laugh track.

Hey: Had Better Off Ted been able to find a larger audience with canned laughter, it would have been a small price to pay.

Word on the street is that Houston's Laff Stop will close after tonight's shows. We've never worked there, but it's been around for a long time. And it had a good digital recording system. (Mitch Hedberg recorded a CD there, as did many others.)

There was a consolidation a while back. (The Stop bought the Spot?)

The Improv moved into the market some time ago.

The economy sucks.

Take your pick among the various excuses.

Check out this blog entry on the Houston Chronicle website from 18 months ago. Of particular note are the comments under it.

Buried amid the (mostly boring) FAA website is this groovy map. It's interactive, so all you need to do is click one of the dots and it'll give you information on the severity of the delays (if any) at that airport.

Currently, the only airports that are experiencing delays are PHL and SLC. We suspect that a lot of those green dots will turn orange or maybe red-- or even black ("This denotes a closed airport!")-- as this huge snowstorm lumbers up the east coast.

We publish a link to it here to save you all the trouble of wading through the FAA's ponderous site.