In yesterday's Philadelphia Inquirer, a profile of Todd Glass ends with this quote:

"I'll be around for a while," he promises with a wink. "If you're watching and at one point, something happens and you're bummed, keep watching. There's twists and turns. That's all I can say."

But our favorite part is this:

Glass saw Last Comic Standing as a chance to goof around with nine of his peers. So he was a little shocked when he watched last week's show, the first taped in the house, to discover that other people were taking the contest far more seriously. Tammy Pescatelli, the mad Sicilian, and Ant, the even madder gay comic, spent most of the hour secretly conspiring.

Pescatelli hated everyone. Ant reserved his enmity for Glass, a vendetta that strikes its target as ridiculous.

"Ant's seen too many episodes of Real World and Survivor," Glass says. "He's doing an impersonation of someone he saw on a reality show... . He had nothing against me"

Read the rest here. (Registration required)

After gently mocking Elayne Boosler in a previous post (see "Comedian/Writer/Animal Activist," June 10, below), we received the following email:

Dear Stuffed Animal Activist,

Cool magazine.

Comedian/Writer/Animal Activist Elayne Boosler
www.tailsofjoy.net

Tails of Joy is Boosler's "funny and informative rescue organization for dogs, cats, companion animals and the people they own." Click the URL to be taken there immediately.

From his first joke, it was clear that Todd Glass was going back to the house. Tammy Pescatelli did a controlled set, even and smooth, but nowhere near the energy of Todd's set. But, this is reality television. And that was a real crowd. About as real as any. And Tammy won, 55 per cent to 45 per cent. The closest result yet, said Mohr. And the show has lost what could ironically be called it's "comic relief". Is it us, or was Todd the only one who was exhibiting a sense of humor?

Kathleen Madigan is displaying a sense of humor, but much more subtly (and, probably, more often than the camera catches-- Todd's antics were much more telegenic, let's face it).

What is with this crying thing? The episode started out with Heffron crying. (It's nice to know that someone felt bad enough about Bonnie McFarlane's banishment, but weeping?) And then Ant is reduced to tears by an over-the-top Corey Holcomb! What gives?

And how did it get to that point in Ant vs. Holcomb? Comics rarely fight. We usually use this thing called "wit." We don't have the energy for confrontation. We save up for the stage. For the nitwit in the back row on second show Friday. We can't bring ourselves to get worked up over another comic. After all, it's us (we comics) against them (the audience). How did these two almost come to blows? Ant says that Corey is the most homophobic person he's ever encountered. Now Corey thinks that Ant is racist. Puh-leeze! Can't we just reduce this to a purely personal level: You don't like him and he don't like you. It's got nothing to do with whatever groups you belong to! Can't we all just not get along? Madigan summed up the whole thing nicely: "I didn't sign up for The Real World-- Whatever happened to comedians? And Holcomb should have let Ant go for using "the N-word." We're comics. We like to think that we can say the most vile, the most outrageous things around our compatriots.

And as long as we're talking about groups vs. individuals, what is all this nonsense from Tammy about "I wanna prove that female comics don't just do jokes about their boyfriends, etc., etc." In her buildup to the battle vs. Todd, she spewed this nonsense and said she was going to shatter some stereotypes-- something about people picking on her because they perceived her as weak because she was merely a female comic. Hello? Did anyone challenge Kathleen? No. We'll be shocked if anyone looks into that lens in the photo booth and says, "I think I'm funnier than Kathleen Madigan." What is Tammy talking about? What is this victim thing? She was singled out for challenge because, as she stated herself earlier in the episode, she was buddies with Ant. She had cast her lot with Ant. Once Ant gained immunity, she was the next logical target. Nothing to do with gender, or bitchiness or anything. Comics don't think of other comics as black or female or gay... that's how other people view us. Todd was ever more honest when he said he challenged Tammy because he, "followed this person once and he found her easy to follow." No mention of gender, no mention of anything but relative power onstage. If any challengers consider race or gender, it's because they are considering what the audience might think-- their own personal feelings take a back seat.

Humiliation factor: 4, for making professional standup comics waste their time as tour guides. No offense to tour guides, but putting them through this is like having a thoroughbred racehorse do pony rides at a 6-year-old's birthday bash. Exactly what did Ant demonstrate by being a good tour guide? He demonstrated that he would make a good tour guide. We're sure the phone is ringing off the hook. Okay, he demonstrated that he was good at improv. But improv isn't standup. And why isn't he that funny in the house? Why doesn't he yock it up in the house instead of being pissy all the time?

Mohr teased next week by saying that "two enemies go head-to-head." It's gotta be Corey vs. Ant. Stay tuned.

The WWW is buzzing with all manner of Last Comic Standing gossip and innuendo. The latest rumor (which we believe to be true, just don't ask us why!) has Pablo Francisco placed in The House as a "wildcard!" You'll recall that Pablo was eliminated early on in the proceedings. (Early on, when we found out that he was among the hopefuls trying out for L.C.S., we here at SHECKYmagazine predicted that he would be the winner of the whole megilla. We may look like geniuses yet!) Of course, if you've been swapping invective with the rabid L.C.S. freaks on NBC's L.C.S. chat room, you'd already know this. However, for those of you with a life (a life that, thankfully, includes checking into SHECKYmagazine.com on a regular basis!) you are finding it out here and now! See you back here tonight at about 10:30 PM EDT when we upload our L.C.S. Episode #6 analysis!

We've been getting positive buzz about Steve Mazan's Iraq Journal. This email is typical:

Just wanted to send a compliment about Steve Mazan's Iraq journal. I really enjoyed it! Steve's a great comic and guy who I've worked with on the road and it was cool to read his detailed journal about entertaining the troops in the war zone. Great stuff! Thanks.

Joshua Sankey

You can click on the title above to get to it, or, starting today, you'll be able to click on the link to it in the upper left. Hereafter, all new, or near-new content will be linked from that spot! We're always trying to make the SHECKYmagazine experience a good one!

Last week, we told you about USAToday's Reality Check, which appears in the McPaper weekly (and, for the most part, weakly!) (It's online, too, if you click here.) Well, this week's check is mercifully brief, but mercilessly catty (we note that the top of most recent R.C. is graced with a pic of the dreamy Gary Gulman! And we also note that the copy says that Bonnie "makes enemies of just about everyone in the house before she even unpacks." Which perhaps overstates things just a tad. Clip the claws, Reality Check gals!

Instead of challenging a housemate she knew she could beat (and telling them so to their faces), Bonnie went with someone she wasn't sure about: Jon Heffron.

Hmmm... they're getting into strategy now, are they? Stay tuned for our comments on tomorrow's L.C.S.! We plan to have our analysis up within minutes of the conclusion!

US Magazine mentions three L.C.S.ers in their This Minute section, providing a pic and a coupla quotes from their "favorites" Madigan, London and Gulman.

And, in the TV Week in Sunday's Indianapolis Star, the back cover was occupied by a profile of L.C.S. '03 finalist Dave Mordal. The piece (complete with a strange color photo), which was syndicated through all the Knight Ridder papers, is lengthy and contains many details on the Elk River, Minnesota native we weren't aware of.

Mordal has never been part of standup comedy's social scene. To this day, his favorite way to spend time is heading to Wal-Mart with his son, now 15, to buy a CD or fish for the aquarium. He says he needs only enough money to keep him and Nick boating during the summers.

Exactly what is "standup comedy's social scene," anyway? Lunching with Jerry Seinfeld then planting tulip bulbs with Margaret Cho before a few sets of tennis with John Pinette? Deadlines do strange things to newspaper writers.

From the Sacramento Bee (by way of Tommy James):

Dave Chappelle got so angry with the crowd Tuesday night at Sacramento's Memorial Auditorium that the stand-up comic walked off the stage for nearly two minutes. Upon his return, he told the audience, "You people are stupid."

What got the comic so riled up? According to Chappelle, it was audience members who wouldn't "shut up and listen - like you're supposed to."

Chappelle is the creator and star of the No. 1-rated show on Comedy Central. It's that fame that helped the comic sell out the nearly 4,000-seat Memorial Auditorium weeks in advance of the show. And that popularity also caused the frustration for the performer, as audience members continually shouted a character's catchphrase from "Chappelle's Show" - it starts, "I'm Rick James ..." and ends with the b-word.

"The show is ruining my life," Chappelle told the crowd. Besides requiring him to work "20 hours a day," he said, it has made him a "star," which has resulted in the inability of fans to treat him as an individual.

"This (stand-up) is the most important thing I do, and because I'm on TV, you make it hard for me to do it," he said.

"People can't distinguish between what's real and fake. This ain't a TV show. You're not watching Comedy Central. I'm real up here talking."

Read the whole thing here.

Chillin' in the Big O: SHECKYmagazine.com editors Traci Skene and Brian McKim flank Jesters Comedy Club House Emcee Cold Funk in a pic taken Thursday night at the Omaha club. Jesters occupies the spot formerly occupied by the Funny Bone. According to the Bone's website, they'll re-open in mid-summer, in a location further west of the city, but unconfirmed rumors say that that date may be pushed to the fall. If/When that happens, Omaha may be a rare market with three full-time comedy clubs, with Jokers downtown, Jesters on 114th St. and the Bone on 168th!

From the website, Reality News Online, "Last Comic Standing 2: Eyewitness to Controversy" is an eyewitness, blow-by-blow account of the Las Vegas finals show by Dale Sherman. This excerpt, a description of Todd Glass's set, clarifies the mystery of just who Jay Mohr was talking about when he mentioned "a 20-year veteran who wet his pants onstage in Vegas":

There was serious dead air going on while he tried to regroup after completely forgetting a punchline to a joke. His uterus joke also absolutely died. Could have heard crickets, and the clips of the audience shown had them mostly sitting in silence with a few clappers. Notice they didn't show a Q&A? The judges came at him a bit for forgetting his joke, and Jay had to jump in to mention how great Todd was in New York.

Read the whole thing here.

Bonnie says, "Todd is trying to have a good time and Ant is trying to win a contest." No truer words were ever spoken. Now, we know that these reality shows are edited for maximum effect. (We've stomached a Real World here and there and then watched the Real World Retrospective or whatever it was called.) But Bonnie pretty much knows what's going on in The House. Except that we might add that Todd is also trying to win a contest... and, failing that, he's trying to make a huge impact while he's got the cameras within reach. USAToday called him this show's Puck. Can anyone name any of the other people on any of the Real World's? Chew on that for a while.

Ant is the classic yenta, which is why they train the camera on him so often. (I just realized I learned most of my Yiddish from reading Mad Magazine! Do they still pepper their content with Yiddish?)

Where's the immunity thing this year? We figured that Corey Holcombe would be immune to any challenge after having won a trip to Aspen to perform at the Fest (after doing so well in the laudromat gig), but somebody challenged him (was it Bonnie?) in the photo booth.

"I can beat Ant, that's not even a challenge," says Bonnie, then she picks Heffron! It seems that this year's contestants have learned a little strategy between last year and this year! Predictions: Traci says Bonnie wins. Brian says Bonnie wins. (It's 9:37 PM as we type this...you'll have to trust us!) Sure, we're biased since Bonnie writes for SHECKYmagazine, but consider this: Heffron and SHECKYmagzine Editor Brian McKim share a birthday ("And pretty blue eyes," says Traci!), so there's equal bias in either direction! DISCLAIMER: None of our predictions are based on who we might think is funnier... It's all based on the fuzzy rules of Reality Television.

Has there been a change in the challenge rules this year? This year, it seems that if you are the person who is most challenged, you can, in turn, only challenge somebody who called you out. Correct us if we're wrong, but this is different from last year. This changes the strategy somewhat... but, if you have half a brain, you can make the adjustment.

Stategy? Let's address that. If you have any confidence in your ability to just go up and smoke the crowd for a few minutes, should you really be worried about anything? Then again, comedy is comedy. So many variables. Avoiding having to smoke a room is preferable, we suppose. There are no guarantees in life. And standup is real life.

It's official: Bonnie loses to Heffron. The house will less interesting now that Bonnie is gone.

Tonight's humiliation rating: 3 out of 5, for having them perform in a hell gig (with apologies to Christy--see below)!

From Zap2it.com:

Both comedians made their feelings public after the show taped in March, saying they believed NBC chose finalists who would make for better television when they're thrown together in a house, rather than simply the 10 funniest people.

Not true, Mohr says now: "The judges' wishes are the first, second and third thing we respect when we go into the room to pick who gets on the show. The first thing we do is say 'Who's on all four cards' ... and those people automatically go," he says.

The four judges -- Carey, Butler, "Yes, Dear" star Anthony Clark and former "LCS" finalist Tess -- were told to pick 10 comics each to advance to the finals. Clark wrote down only four names; his picks matched with those of the other judges, so those four comics moved on (Mohr and NBC both decline to reveal who the unanimous picks are). Carey, Butler and Tess also agreed on three more contestants, bringing the number of finalists to seven.

Mohr says the judges split their remaining votes among 11 comics, which forced the producers to step in and fill the remaining three slots.

"So how do you rectify that?" Mohr asks. "You have to choose behind closed doors who was the funniest the entire way through. Who's given you nothing in interviews and testimonials and just had the best set of their lives that one night in Las Vegas, and who's been funny the whole way through, in all the interviews and during their stand-up.

"The judges' wishes were respected a lot more than they'd like the public to believe."
Mohr had no hand in choosing the finalists; instead, executive producers Dan Cutforth and Jane Lipsitz, along with some NBC executives, made the final call. Their choices incorporated the judges' opinions along with what they had seen for the duration of the early rounds, including time spent offstage.

"[Carey and Butler] didn't see the people being funny throughout the audition process," he says. "There are people who may have been on their cards because they had the best set of their entire journey, and maybe of their entire careers, that night in Las Vegas."

Mohr doesn't know why the judges weren't fully briefed on the selection process, and in hindsight, he thinks he might have taken more time to explain the procedure better ("Last Comic Standing" used the same selection process last year with no controversy).

"Maybe I'll shoulder some of that blame," he says. "Maybe I should have explained to them that in the even you only pick seven of the 10 unanimously, we'll, as they say in boxing, have to go to the cards."

Thanks to Tommy James for the tip!

From USA Today, Monday, June 21, 2004, in a feature entitled, "Reality Check," which purports to be a compendium of "Highlights and lowlights from last week's reality series," comes the following commentary on Last Comic Standing:

(Under the heading of "Worst Behavior"):Nothing completely outrageous yet (by reality-TV standards), but Philly comic Todd Glass is the Puck of this outfit-- willing to act like a child to get more screen time.

(Under the heading of "Snarkiest comment"):DC Benny, when he gets the news that Todd Glass is his roommate: "Great. Will there be sedatives in the room?"

(Under the heading of "What were they thinking?"):Bonnie MacFarlane, bleeped often amid an unremarkable routine about breast implants, gets chosen for the finals. It doesn't matter how good she wasn't-she'll provide conflict at the house.

(Under the heading of "Best decision"):Producers invite semifinalist Jim Wiggins to the Vegas finals at the last minute to fill a vacancy. He delivers a great set, despite having no prep time. (Too bad he doesn't make the finals.)

USAToday lists Jayme Deerwester, Bethany Deitemeyer, Korina Lopez, Whitney Matheson, Alison Maxwell as the "contributors" to this piece. They all seem to be handicapped when it comes to identifying irony. Todd's Puck act is a parody of how one is supposed to act in order to get face time on a reality show. The fact that it is working (and working quite well!) is the supreme irony here. None of the Contributors seem to grasp this.

Do they really think DC Benny was actually, honestly being "snarky" when he made his comment? Hell, no. He's just like any other professional comic-- he hates sharing a room with anybody!

Bonnie was bleeped exactly once by our count. We have one thing to say about their Bonnie McFarlane commentary: Meeeeoow!

Jim Wiggins had no prep time? Trust us: Jim Wiggins has had 25 years of prep time! And a nice 2-1/2 hour plane ride from Topeka to Vegas. Trust us-- he was more than prepared.

Oh, great. Now we're going to be compelled to purchase USAToday every Monday. (Fortunately I didn't have to buy this one... It was lying on the table at the post office and I grabbed the entertainment section just to have something to read while I waited in line to mail off a press kit... For more on that, read the posting below, "Can't sing, can't act, can dance a little")

In an item entitled "The Gay Lifestyle," on his Daily Dish blog, gay conservative author Andrew Sullivan ran a lengthy "list of the occupations of the gay applicants for civil marriage licenses in Massachusetts in the first week." Right there, between "speech pathologist" and "state trooper" was, you guessed it: standup comic! We wondered who it was. Hey: Who are you? Got a photo of the nuptials? Send one in! We immediately concluded that the parents of the person who married the standup comic probably aren't so much disappointed that their kid is gay, but more disturbed that he/she married a standup comic! What?! You couldn't have married a doctor or something?

Triana Gamaza, the Venezuelan-born "exotic dancer," whose website describes her as an "up and coming stand-up comic, writer, and television personality" (and whose midsection appears in the photo at left), took time out from her busy schedule (which included a recent appearance-- panel only-- on The Tonight Show starring Jay Leno) writes in an email:

Hi, Shecky,

So me and Buck Star in the same category, huh? I gotta say, I'm honored. Thanks Shecky, you guys RULE!

Triana
The Stripper Comic from LCS

We send out dozens of press kits in the course of a typical month in the hopes of securing work. The typical kit has a video, some headshots and some glowing articles. The response ranges from "This is the best tape we've seen in months!" to sheer indifference. Every once in a while (maybe it's happened twice in 20 years!), the guy/gal on the other end takes the opportunity of the press kit to send back a critique! Below is the most recent unsolicited critique and, in this case, it's hilarious!

Brian,
We viewed yours and Tracy's videos. I am the one writing to you. We could all see that you in particular are very professional and have a very well crafted act.

And while I'm unsure whether certain routines (which would be inappropriate to our venues) can be lifted out, without the structure of your act crumbling (like your closer..."Vagina manhole cover" which would require Tracy also being on the bill, which frankly, ain't gonna happen), there is a bigger obstacle.

You are entitled to project any attitude or energy you wish on a stage. As we are entitled to have our own preferences.

You appear to be rather road weary and that kind of joyless approach to performing and/or contempt for audiences is not what I wish to project onto our stages. I write of posture, attitude and cadence. Not only material.

While I believe your on-stage attitude has absolute validity. We just don't want it on our shows.

We posted this ad in case there were comics we didn't know about, who were doing powerful yet surprising work. It's purpose was not to pad our list of guys who could do the job successfully (which you certainly can). Picking a few random states and dismissing the intelligence of people who reside in them is not very surprising. Nor are barrages of dick jokes.

I know it's easy to read such remarks and dismiss them as being from someone who has no idea what they're talking about. I hope you won't make that mistake. You're too veteran for that (and you'd be wrong to boot). Either way, keep up the good work you do. You are a very good joke flesh-outer.

Now the only choice we must make is which of these lines do we excerpt to include in our bio? Let's see... for Traci (whose name is, we guarantee you, spelled correctly in her press kit, but repeatedly misspelled in the above letter!), the choice is easy:

"...which would require Tracy also being on the bill, which frankly, ain't gonna happen!"

For Brian, the choice is harder:

"...Rather road weary...a joyless approach to performing and a contempt for audiences!"

or

"Absolute validity! We just don't want it on our shows!"

Regardless of which we choose, you know I'll be selling BRIAN McKIM: "A very good joke flesh-outer!" T-shirts after each and every show!

An examination of the Just For Laughs website reveals that at least three comics from L.C.S. are to be featured in this year's festival, Tammy Pescatelli and Bonnie McFarlane. What can we conclude from this with regard to the eventual outcome of L.C.S.? Last year's festival was peopled by Rich Vos, Dave Mordal and Corey Kahaney, and Dat Phan was nowhere in sight.

Hopped onto a weird site that was a compendium of companies that claim to be places where you can buy tickets to see Last Comic Standing being taped. Buy tickets? Wasn't there some sort of FCC law passed a few decades ago that said you couldn't charge people to see a TV show being taped? We were particularly amused by one outfit, Barry's Tickets, who claim to have been "selling Last Comic Standing tickets for over 20 years." Hmmm...

Earlier in the evening:

This gives us a chance to revise our predictions. Not entirely fair, but, hey--it's our website! We both choose Naturman as the choice to replace Norton among our choices of who goes to The House.

They lose Jim Norton due to "contractual obligations" that conflicted with taping dates of L.C.S. But they never say what it is that Norton's contracted to tape. Sure, it's on another network, but can't they plug it anyway?

Previously discarded Jim Wiggins is the luckiest man in show business. Most contests have alternates... what's wrong with the people at Peter Engel Productions? Why not fly Wiggins into Vegas just in case somebody get sick or arrested... or contracted by another network? But it made for some reality show drama. (Golly! Do you think there's any of them there aeroplanes flying between Topeka and Vegas?) How cruel is that? One second Wiggins is doing Bullfrog's in Topeka, the next minute, he's flying to Nevada to appear in a network television taping!

The big mystery: Why did Mohr go on a talk show (while promoting his book) and say that "a twenty-year veteran wet his pants onstage in Vegas?" Are they sweetening the audience response? DC Benny did the worst of all the contestants tonight (and the only reason we mention it is that he said so himself), but we're fairly certain that he isn't the 20-year vet that Mohr referred to. Todd Glass certainly didn't have a strong set, but he didn't wet his pants, figuratively or literally.

Making it into The House from tonight's episode:

Alonzo Bodden
Tammy Pescatelli
Todd Glass
John Heffron
Jay London

Final tallies: Traci correctly predicted 8 of 10 going to The House, Brian got 5 of 10.

Good for Drew Carey for expressing his true thoughts while the cameras were rolling, but the producers goofed up by not making it plain that the celebrity judges' input was largely ceremonial.

Looks like Dan Naturman has never been in a contest before. He should know that merely killing is no guarantee of anything. Sure, express a little disappointment, but if you make fun of NBC's little TV show, the suits from the other networks who are undoubtedly watching will be loath to contact you for their little projects, funny or not.

It's a contest. Some folks get into the house and some of those folks are unquestionably, hysterically. But it's coincidence. Why? Because it's a contest; worse yet, it's a contest within the framework of a reality television show. The voiceover at the top of the show tonight described the contestants as "the 20 funniest comics in America." Of course, this is sheer puffery. If you believe that, you believe that Dat Phan is America's funniest comedian. Our point is that Mr. Naturman, funny though he may be, lost perspective. Consider this kids: If, after last week's show, Jim Wiggins had behaved in a manner similar to the way Mr. Naturman behaved in this evening's episode, Mr. Wiggins would have been onstage at Bullfrog's in Topeka, instead of flying into McCarran with 40 minutes to showtime. And, if for any reason one of the ten Houseguests should be bounced prematurely from the show, and hypothetically, Naturman was to be next in line of succession, his hissy fit would have given the producers pause and quite possibly resulted in going over his hot head to the next good sport in line.

We'd bet money that portions of Wiggins' performance were re-shot. His voice got magically better 3/4 of the way through his set. Hmmm... And the alternate lost his voice--reason to have an alternate to the alternate in our book!

Tonight's winner: Jim Norton, of course. He got face time on a network show, he never did "lose" to the other contestants, and he got bounced off the show because he was too busy taping other shows to be included in this one! Pretty nice, if you can pull it off!

We'll be monitoring the broadcast, of course!

Addendum to last night's posting: From now on, we'll be rating each episode according to its Humiliation Factor. How does the episode rate when it comes to asking professional standup comics to do things that you just shouldn't ask a professional standup comic to do. On a scale of 1 to 5, with a 5 being absolutely humiliating, Episode 3 rated a 3, for asking the comics to share a room. If we had gotten to the front desk and were told that we'd be sharing a room with another comic, we would have put a single room on the credit card (after, of course, checking with the producers to see if being forced to share was stipulated in the contract).

Correction on last night's posting: When Jay Mohr asked Dan Adhoot how long he'd been doing it (and Adhoot replied quot;three years,quot;), Mohr indicated that, to him at least, Adhoot's inexperience wasn't obvious. We were of the opposite opinion.

Who made it into the house from the first ten:

Kathleen Madigan
Gary Gulman
Corey Holcomb
Bonnie McFarlane
Ant


Who didn't make it in:

Kerry Louise
Monte Hoffman
Jessica Kirson
Tim Young
Dan Adhoot

Did we say that Todd Glass knows how to work the medium like no other? We've known Todd for over 20 years. His antics dominated the opening montage of this evening's episode. This may be the first time he's actually had our respect. (Hey, we've known him for 20 years, we can say things like that! Hell, we've known Todd since he was actually the age he claims to be now! That's how long we've known Todd.)

Our hearts swell with pride upon seeing Bonnie McFarlane comandeer the camera with only her personality during the opening. And we must thank her for staring straight into the camera and saying, "Women aren't funny," which also happens to be the title of her latest column!

Who died and left Ant boss? His assessment of Bonnie's first joke (and its possible effect on her career) demonstrates an appalling ignorance of how television (and comedy!) works. Using the C-word wasn't all that risky. Her justification for using it (when Mohr asked her why she did it) was priceless. It was gutsy but not as gutsy as if say, Phyllis Diller had been on the judge's panel instead of Brett Butler.

What is with this "comedically challenged" nonsense as applied to Gary Gulman? (See the NY Post gossip posting below.) So far, he's kicked ass and he's been slobbered over by the panelists, both male and female. He's third in the media manipulation derby so far.

Sure, the sets are heavily edited, and we really don't see an entire uninterrupted set, but Kathleen Madigan is coming off as an accomplished comic and she's making the most of this opportunity. She doesn't seem to be constantly cooking up strategy. Instead, she's doing comedy and doing it well.

Tess is a waste of everybody's time. What is with those lame questions?

Traci is unhappy that Kerry Louise said that husband Tom Cotter wrote half her act. ("Now everyone's going to think that Brian wrote half of my act!" says Skene, already a little testy that Cotter and Louise said, in last week's episode that they would throw each other under a train to advance. "They give comedy couples a bad name!" Maybe it's the editing.)

Very smart on the part of Gulman, McFarlane and Madigan to do different material each time they've been called upon to perform (at least it appears that way). Those who didn't made it appear that they only had three minutes of material.

The prediction tally: Traci went 4 for 5... Brian went 2 for 5.

Why didn't some of tonight's contestants get in? Hoffman might have struck out because Sean Kent, a house guest on last year's L.C.S. was a cancer survivor. (We can hear a TV exec saying, "We already 'did cancer' last year!") Kirson might have gotten in had her offstage personality matched her onstage personality in terms of energy and quirkiness. Adhoot was hurt by his inexperience. Mohr noticed it; he asked him how long he had been doing it. "Three years," was the reply. We called that one. The "motherless twins" factor may have done in Kerry Louise. Nobody, not even a TV exec wants to leave a pair of toddler twins without a mom for a month. And then there's Tim Young. He gambled with the Buddhism thing and lost.

Tomorrow's ten:

John Heffron
Tammy Pescatelli
Todd Glass
Jim Norton
Alonzo Bodden
Marina Franklin
Sue Costello
DC Benny
Jay London
Dan Naturman

An email from San Francisco:

How to Enter the 29th Annual San Francisco International Stand-Up Comedy Competition

Comedy Competition co-producer Anne Fox is currently viewing tapes submitted by omedians who want to enter this year's event. She is looking for youthful, professional talent with outstanding ability and determination.

Only 30 performers will be accepted. They will be split into two groups, one of which will compete in preliminary round one September 15-19 and the other of which will compete in preliminary round two September 22-26. In the preliminary rounds, contestants perform five to seven minute sets and travel from San Francisco to venues in such cities as San Rafael, Napa, Livermore and Santa Cruz.

The top five acts from each preliminary round will advance to the semi-final round, September 28 to October 3. By making the semis, each performer will be guaranteed of making a minimum of $1,000 for two weeks work. In all, $20,000 in prize money will be distributed with $5,000 going to the eventual winner. Semi-finalists will perform ten to twelve minute sets at such venues as Villa Montalvo, Sacramento State, Luther Burbank Center and the Bach Dancing and Dynamite Society.

The top five semi-finalists will advance to the final round, October 5-10, where they will perform 15-20 minute sets.

Applicants should send a 20-minute tape along with a picture and bio to:

Anne Fox
Comedy Scene
60 Waterside Circle
San Rafael, CA 94941

Any questions can be submitted to co-producer Jon Fox via email at Jon Fox.

From a reader:

I went with my husband and friends to see his stand up show. We were all having a good time until he brought up going to see a Lakers' basketball game. I along, with maybe 2,500 other fans booed his mention of the Lakers. It was NOT that big of a deal - this is Colorado and one of the TOP sports towns! We are passionate about ALL our Colorado teams and the booing was just a friendly reminder to George that he was in DENVER. George took it WAY to personally and ended up insulting the people of Denver, and cutting his act short!

He is a professional comedian and quite honestly, I expected MORE from him. He should have been able to joke his way out of the situation without insulting HIS fans and then leaving prematurely! Apparently there were fans that had backstage passes to meet him and of course, George did not grace them with his presence. This too is very unprofessional.

George, if you can't take a joke, maybe you shouldn't be up there telling jokes!

Gina Alvarado
Longmont, Colorado

Yipe! We've never performed for a crowd of 2,500 people, let alone had 2,500 boo us! Nevertheless, Lopez seems to have horribly misjudged the reaction of the audience! The Magness Arena seats approximately 7,200 people, so there were still approximately 5,000 people who weren't booing!

Who is benefitting from appearing on L.C.S.? A cursory examination of our statistics reveals that, so far at least, the big winners seem to be Bonnie McFarlane, Pablo Francisco and Will Durst. Also sparking interest on the WWW are Dan Naturman, Frank Santorelli and Jay London. One might conclude that The Stripper and Buck Star are also benefitting. We prefer to regard them as the William Hung of Last Comic Standing-- something to give the first two episodes a narrative framework or a little spice. Nothing like a naked babe on a pole to keep the ratings up! Unlike Hung, however, neither "comedian" is likely to be signing any contracts, recording or otherwise, in the near future.

The top ten search strings...

bonnie mcfarlane
lewis black
pablo francisco last comic standing
buck star last comic standing
dick cavett
will durst last comic standing
mitch hedberg
shecky magazine
last comic standing stripper
last comic standing pablo francisco

A further tunnelling into the stats is revealing not so much for who shows up, but for who doesn't show up. Keep in mind, none of this is science-- we're not experts at analyzing search engine data. But there are certain comics who were featured heavily on L.C.S. that aren't popping up in the stats. (At least not in our stats... it may well be that surfers are searching for Todd Glass or Tammy Pescatelli, but they're not coming to SHECKYmagazine.com. Possibly because their personal websites already have strong rankings in the search engines.) To put it another way: Santorelli has no official website and the only websites with more than a passing mention of him are TVTome.com and on our humble site.

It is a fascinating look into the power of the medium of television, however. And it also illustrates how the internet has become a companion to TV viewing. And it also demonstrates how comics who fail to develop official websites are missing a golden opportunity to capitalize on network television appearances. (Frank-- You have our number... We'd love to design a site for you!)

Posted on the newsgroup alt.comedy.standup, a former fan speaks:

From: Manny
Subject: George Lopez at the Magness Arena in Denver, CO
Newsgroups: alt.comedy.standup
Date: 2004-06-12 03:06:35 PST

Hello fellow standup fans. I just saw George Lopez perform stand up at the Magness Arena in Denver, CO. As usual Mr. Lopez was funny till he got boo'd for mentioning his attendance at a LA Lakers game. With the current case in Colorado against Koby Bryant and the Lakers rivalry with Denver it's understandable that Mr. Lopez would get boo'in from the audience. What Mr. Lopez failed to see was that we were boo'in the Lakers name and not Mr. Lopez.

Mr. Lopez took this boo'in so personally that he proceeded to tell the audience to fuck off. He attempted to continue with the show but then proceeded to make statements like "I don't need this shit. I have my own show and I don't need to do stand up. I'm quitting stand up cuz of this shit (boo'in). I've been talking about chicanos and blacks stereotypes and this is what upsets you ?" He then proceeded to try to continue with the show but then continued to get upset about the boo'in. Mind you the audience was sitting there astonished at this immature display of childishness.

I would like to tell Mr. Lopez that he took the boo'in too far. He fucked up and never should of had taken the boo'in as a personal attack. The man has been doing stand up for many years and this is what upsets him ? I think Mr. Lopez has lost touch with his true
audience and thinks his show is the shizznitz. I spent $70.00 to see G-Lo. There were many other chicanos there that could not afford to see him but did it anyway to support a Latino comedian. I have numerous friends that wanted to see him but could not afford it. I think that his ego has gotten out of hand and he's lost touch with his audience and his roots. I know that I will never pay to see George Lopez again. It's a shame because I really enjoy his comedy and being that I'm latino I can really relate to it. Good Luck G-Lo. You'll need it. I used to say great things about you but you fucked up. I turned on alot of people to your comedy but as of now your history in my book.
Good luck with that ego of yours.

Manuel F. Roque

Way back on March 18, when the Brett Butler/Drew Carey L.C.S. judging controversy blew up, the New York Post's Page Six ran the following (Photo is of the author of Page Six, who shall remain nameless):

A New York comedy manager whose clients have competed on the show told PAGE SIX that comedy insiders have dismissed the show as a scam ever since stand-up performer Dat Phan won last year. "Everyone thought it was fixed," said the comedy manager, who asked to remain anonymous. "Dat Phan was awful. This year it looks like it's going to be just as bad. It's a shame." (That floating head there is the author of Page Six.)

Interesting, isn't it? Mr. New York Comedy Manager "dismissed the show as a scam," but he no doubt had a client or three go up in front of Mark & Read. But he's way off the mark if he thinks that the disappointing performance of Dat Phan means that this year's show will be "just as bad." If anything, this year's crop is many times stronger than last year's merely because an inexperienced comic like Dat Phan (and nearly everyone else in the final six or seven) reaped the rewards of being featured on a highly-rated network television show, which signalled to agents and managers (and, alas, even strippers!) that it was "okay" to appear on the show, win or lose. We're willing to say that, on balance, standup comedy as a whole has benefitted from the show. (Heck, we even advanced the notion that Rick Rockwell's notoriety via Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire was good for live standup!)

The Page Six dude referred to Ant and Gary Gulman as "two of the more comedically challenged contestants who made the final 10," so, we're not too happy with him--we worked with Gulman in Boston, at Ed Regal's Emerald Isle, and he's hysterical! (And we promise we'll spell his name with one "l" until someone tells us that two "l's" is correct.)

They're still firming up the venues, the seminars and the performers for this year's New York City Underground Comedy Festival, but their website is uploading new schedule information on a nearly daily basis.

The NYCUCF is set to hit various New York City locations, including The Improv, The Laurie Beechman Theatre, and The Bitter End & The New York Public Libraries on Monday, October 4th to Sunday, October 10th. There will be two categories for performers to be considered from. (Main Festival and New Comic Contest.)

A reader writes:

Just a suggestion for your blog-- if you're going to make fun of someone's grammar: ( We wrote in our L.C.S. Update: "Keep in mind, we're dealing with a website that uses the phrases "developmental deal" and "executively produced.") Then don't use words like "overrided." (We wrote in that same L.C.S. Update: It seems that the celebrity judges at the Las Vegas portion of this season's L.C.S. were frosted that their votes... were overrided by the producers of the show.")

Just trying to help,
Shaun

We reply:

Right you are, Shaun! According to Merriam-Webster, we should have used "overrode" instead of the entirely made-up word "overrided." We will fall back on the immediacy of blogging as an excuse for our sloppiness. And the late hour (9:28 PM). And if we think of any other excuses, we'll run them as well!

P.S.: That entire sentence is a tortured mess! Not one we're particularly proud of. But we'll put up our relative grammatical correcticity up against that of any other site out there!

P.S.S.: Technically speaking, we weren't making fun of their grammar as much as their Norm Crosby-like mangling of show business terms that everybody in the biz should know.

From a Business Wire press release:

Pax TV has named high profile comedian Elayne Boosler as host of the network's new game show, "Balderdash," based on Mattel's hilarious bluffing board game. Produced by The Hatchery, LLC and run by the production team behind the successful series "Hollywood Squares," the half-hour original series is set to premiere later this summer, airing Monday through Thursday.

It goes on to describe the game show, but, we all know that it's nearly impossible to describe a game show without making it sound ludicrous. And, this is the best part: they actually describe Boosler as a "writer/comedian/animal activist." Traci's demanding that her bio be amended immediately. From now on, she wants to be described as a "writer/comedian/stuffed animal activist." Says Skene: "Everywhere I go there's Beanie Babies for sale and nobody wants them. Somebody's gotta look out for them!"

From an AP story:

Jimmy Kimmel's late-night talk show was pulled off the air for a night following a joke the comedian made about Detroit during Game 2 of the NBA Finals.

Jimmy Kimmel Live did not appear in his usual time slot at midnight ET Wednesday on ABC affiliates around the country. In Detroit, WXYZ ran an episode of The Wayne Brady Show with a crawl across the bottom of the screen saying Kimmel's show would not be seen.

Kimmel was talking to ABC sportscaster Mike Tirico during halftime Tuesday when he said, "They're going to burn the city of Detroit down if the Pistons win, and it's not worth it." Tirico, an Ann Arbor resident, immediately objected, telling him to be careful in talking about his home state.

Of course, Detroit probably will burn down if the Pistons win. Why should Detroit be any different from any other sports town with a healthy population of drunken college students and sports fans? Writing in a recent Sports Illustrated, Tim Layden wrote, about the overturned and charred vehicles in, of all places, Storrs, CT, after UConn won the NCAA title:

The ruckus in Storrs was only the most recent party gone wild, but it was actually sedate compared to similar celebrations in, say, East Lansing, MI, after Michigan State won the NCAA title in 2000. Wild revelry now has become commonplace on and around the Michigan State campus every time there is a big game. The precedent has been set and the bar raised. Or lowered, depending on your view.

Now in East Lansing-- and in almost every city with unfortunate experience in this area-- police are put on alert whenever a big game is played. Sports sections run stories quoting the coach and players talking about the game; metro sections run stories quoting the mayor and chief of police describing their readiness for tipped-over cars and spontaneous fires.

Andrea Parquet-Taylor, WXYZ's news director, said, "Frankly, we were shocked. We thought it was uncalled for." said Andrea Parquet-Taylor, WXYZ's news director. She added that Kimmel's apology wasn't an apology at all. Is this a major metropolitan news director speaking or some sort of municipal psychotherapist?

Liza Foreman, writing in the Hollywood Reporter:

Comedian David Chappelle (is) in early talks to play Rick James in a film based on the funk musician's upcoming memoirs, "Memoirs of a Super Freak."

This comes as no surprise. Chapelle's portrayal of James is hysterical and "I'm Rick James, bitch!" has become a catchphrase around SHECKYmagazine.com HQ. The re-enactment of Charlie Murphy's celebrity stories are a triumph in concept, writing and editing. And Chapelle's acting is outstanding.

And if you think he's not capable of drama, check out his supporting role in the Wayne Brady crime spree sketch the next time Comedy Central re-runs it. It could be considered a pitch for a buddy pic starring the two. Last we heard, Chappelle hadn't re-upped with Comedy Central. At the rate he's going, he won't need them or their paycheck.

From Night Life In Saskatoon, a story on Saskatchewan comic Bryan Cox by Mark Behrend:

"In a span of four years, the eighteen-year veteran of the Saskatchewan club and bar scene has fractured his neck, had a heart attack and most recently had a sizable portion of his tongue removed due to cancer."

Click the title above to read the rest.

Our predictions (arrived at in a totally bloodless, producer kinda way, not based on who might or might not be funny, but on what a producer might think will make for "chemistry"):

Traci's predictions on who makes it out of Vegas:

John Heffron
Gary Gullman
Tammy Pescatelli
Jessica Kirson
Todd Glass
Kathleen Madigan
Corey Holcomb
Jim Norton
Bonnie McFarlane
Alonzo Bodden

Brian's predictions on who makes it out of Vegas:

Marina Franklin
John Heffron
Dan Adhoot
Sue Costello
Jessica Kirson
Todd Glass
Jim Norton
Bonnie McFarlane
Ant
Alonzo Bodden

Who made it in from the second group of 20?

Timm Young
Marina Franklin
Monte Hoffman
John Heffron
Gary Gullman
Kerry Louise
Dan Adhoot
Dan Naturman
Tammy Pescatelli
Jay London

Random impressions:

The most shocked people in the building: Tom Cotter, Will Durst, Jim Wiggins, Frank Santorelli.

You know, a long time ago, comics usta start out in strip clubs. Thing is, back then, they were COMICS! How badly does NBC want ratings that they would put a stripper on the first two shows, just so you can do a "profile" and show her sleazing on a pole in a strip club. That spot could've been taken by someone who can actually do comedy. We understand how television works, but this is low.

Hmmm... Let's see... I wanna stock a "reality" house with comics... but I don't want them to skew too old... so... I got it! I'll whack the 40 comics into two groups of 20, I'll only take half of each of each group and I'll put all the old ones into the first group! that way, I'm guaranteed that those pesky 20-year+ pros won't be dominating the house! It's pure genius!

Sad to hear that Tammy Pescatelli's dad is in the hospital. We met him once and he's a swell guy. Hope he had a speedy recovery.

Kerry Louise made it to Vegas. Hubby Tom Cotter did not. Just last month, Louise washed out in the first round of the the Boston Comedy Competition, Cotter won the whole thing. Fickle beasts, these competitions!

We predicted that Gary Gullman would make it to the house. He's going to Vegas. The final tally: Five of the nine we predicted would end up in the house are at least going to Vegas. Perhaps after Vegas, we'll predict who goes all the way! Stay tuned!

Wait for the fireworks in Vegas.!

Who made it in from the first group of 20?

Sue Costello
Jessica Kirson
Todd Glass
DC Benny
Kathleen Madigan
Corey Holcomb
Jim Norton
Bonnie McFarlane
Ant
Alonzo Bodden

We predicted that Santorelli, Ramey, Francisco and Durst would make it into the house. All of them are gone! We did, however, predict that Glass, Madigan, McFarlane and Bodden would make it into the house. So, we're not doing that bad. We're going to watch the second group now. We heard Jay Mohr interviewed on a local television station the other day. He said that a 20-year veteran "wets his pants." Of course, he didn't mean literally. But we're anxious to see who he was referring to.

There's a lot of anger out there concerning this here reality show. It seems everybody's got an opinion. We got a chuckle out of one website (that seems to be obsessed with L.C.S.) and their descriptions: "Ralphie May-- morbidly obese with a hint of hip-hop flavor, Tere Joyce-- a whacked out emotional mess with a crazy look" and "Sean Kent-- Southerner with cancer." (Keep in mind, we're dealing with a website that uses the phrases "developmental deal" and "executively produced.")

As we reported this past winter on this very Like We Care page, there was some controversy surrounding LCS. It seems that the celebrity judges at the Las Vegas portion of this season's L.C.S. were frosted that their votes for whom they felt were the strongest comics (and whom they thought deserved to go to The House) were overrided by the producers of the show.

From MSNBC.com, March 8, 2004:

NBC executives insisted that (Drew) Carey, (Brett) Butler and two other judges-- Anthony Clark of the sitcom "Yes, Dear" and Tess Drake, a finalist from last summer's "Last Comic" were not the only ones involved in the final "casting" process.

NBC said it was up to network brass and producers to decide who made the cut, weighing the opinions of the celebrity panel as just one factor. An NBC spokeswoman said a disclaimer to that effect airs as part of the show's credits.

And this, from the Drew Carey fan site, LiveDrew.com:

"It's not about who's funniest," Carey continued. "They were casting it. The producers can change the outcome of the show whenever they wish. Why would they have a contest and judges if they were just going to cast it anyway? I thought the whole thing stunk, and I'm mad they had my name associated with it... I've got a certain amount of integrity in this business and I'm not going to be compromised... You can't use me and my reputation. Do it with someone else's reputation... You can't have a contest and then have this loop hole... I'm talking to protect myself. I don't care if (the producers) are mad at me, if NBC is mad at me. I've got nothing to lose... It just seems like such a travesty."

Stay tuned for more commentary tonight!

A reader writes:

Hi. I would like to know how I can contact Bob Read and Ross Mark. I'm also a new comic just starting out and looking to get my name and act out there, can you help with this. I do have video tapes and can get head shots of me. Thanks for your help and time.

Kevin
Harrisonburg, VA

We reply:

You are too early on in the process for an agent, in our humble opinion. An agent can't do you any good right now. One needs 30 solid minutes of bulletproof material, tested in front of real audiences before an agent will have anything to do with you. If you are free to move to another city, you would do well to consider it-- a city that has more opportunities to hop onto a stage (for free, usually) and do it as often as possible. The only way to get better at this thing is to do it often. Perhaps you'd do better to find other like-minded people in H-burg and persuade a venue to have a weekly open mike.

SHECKYmagazine.com Columnist BONNIE MCFARLANE featured on NBC's Last Comic Standing! Read her latest column HERE!

Well, we predicted it a year ago: NBC's "comedy contest" would be corrupted (not that it was pure to begin with) and, if it came back again, the producers would crumble to pressure from agents and managers and stock "The House" with comics who have managers and agents and that the "auditions" would be even more of a formality than they were in year one. No big deal, really, but it's a whole new L.C.S. world.

Now we're treated to the spectacle of seasoned club veterans like Pablo Francisco, Will Durst and Kathleen Madigan tapdancing for Bob Read and Ross Mark trying to "breathe new life" (Durst's words) into their careers by trying out for the popular standup reality show.

It's totally understandable, really. The whole crazy circus drives one more nail into the "television killed comedy" argument. And, of course, the overall caliber of the comics will be somewhat better. But, only somewhat. Why only somewhat? Becasue it's reality television! The chemistry in the house is what is most important. There'll be some real, seasoned veterans slugging it out... until Vegas. After Vegas, they'll sprinkle in the freaks with the real acts and then stand back and let the Reality TV fun begin! Of course, all the contestants will have the advantage of developing strategy based on last year's show.

Here's our predictions (as good as any other predictions at this point):

Todd Glass: He can work the medium like no other. He'll make Rich Vos and Dave Mordal look like pikers when it comes to soaking up the face time.

Gary Gulman: He looks good on camera, he's funny and he's huge! (He'll be very intimidating physically.)

Frank Santorelli: See above. (Plus, he's been a semi-regular on The Sopranos)

Louis Ramey: 2004 is The Year of Louis Ramey. He's clever, he's clean and professional. And you can't underestimate that-- the comedy clubs are gonna want clever, clean and professional from this year's Last Comic Standing World Tour. It's become a cottage industry. And, because of the ratings that last year's L.C.S. got, the tour's gonna have bigger numbers. Bigger numbers demand comics who can consistently deliver.

Pablo Francisco: He's already filling comedy clubs.

Bonnie McFarlane: As evidenced by her regular column here in the pages of SHECKYmagazine.com, Bonnie has a knack for saying controversial things and not holding back. Which should make for some telegenic fireworks in the house.

Kathleen Madigan: She's solid as a rock, she's been on radio and television a lot. She's probably unflappable.

Alonzo Bodden: He's appealing, he's an actor (NYPD Blue and
others) and he knows how to do standup comedy.

Will Durst: A regular on PBS, a recurring character on CNN, MSNBC and FNC talking heads shows, and a veteran "political comic, " Durst will be good for social and political commentary when he has the camera to himself.

And they all have management and representation.

What is with Buck Star? And why did they let him perform in front of a crowd in Tampa after he did a Garry Shandling joke? (And, then he ends his set with "Thank you for supporting live comedy!" Ooohh... we hate that.)

Read more about some of the people you saw tonight:

Pete LaFaucia's account of last year's Chicago LCS audition!

Dave Mordal Question 21

Rich Vos interview

Kathleen Madigan Interview

Will Durst interview

Alonzo Bodden profile

Stay tuned for more LCS commentary.

Georg Szalai, writing for Hollywood Reporter says:

Times Square is about to get a big injection of Hollywood flair as L.A. comedy impresario Jamie Masada readies to take a bite out of the Big Apple. After successfully running the Laugh Factory on Sunset Boulevard for 25 years, Masada on Wednesday celebrated the comedy club's anniversary with the grand opening of a New York City branch. Actually, branch is an understatement. The latest comedy venue in town is a multilevel complex on 42nd Street and 8th Avenue that features a main show room for headline talent, two smaller rooms for various specialty shows and a VIP room where industry folks can talk deals and more.

From "Right-Wing Lenny Bruce" by Alicia Colon, writing for the New York Sun (June 4, 2004):

...the idea of conservative standup is a rarity, and when I met Julia Gorin, a conservative comedienne, last month at the Ball for Life, I was intrigued by her choice of profession. What was even more surprising to learn is that there are more where she came from.

Because New York is not necessarily the breeding ground for conservatives, I first thought that Ms. Gorin was from the Midwest or some other red state. Surprise, surprise, as Gomer Pyle used to say. Ms. Gorin was born in Moscow.

Her father, Edward Gorin, a violinist with the Bolshoi Theatre in Moscow, was expelled as a dissident when she was only a few months old.

Ms. Gorin goes on tour with a group of comics called Right Stuff Comedy. Other members of the group are Chris Warren, who recently entertained the troops in Iraq, Steve Eblin, and Jeff Jena.

Her comedy is edgy and thought-provoking and she’s been described as a right-wing Lenny Bruce. She usually performs with the group at private corporate functions, and while she usually gets a hearty response from her audience, sometimes they can be programmed to laugh only at safe jokes. She’s found that JFK is one of those offlimits targets.