The comics whose names begin with "K" are gone. We're having trouble with Blogger, so our previous post didn't make it... the one where Traci predicted that Vos and Heffron didn't make it and the one where Brian said that Kirson and Tess were gone. Mind you, our predictions were not based on the relative merits or talents of the comics, but on the quirks and capricious nature of the American public.

Stay tuned.

What was that? Or, as the kids say, (or, as Ralphie May might say) What's up wid dat?! We're referring to the announcement that May made shortly before he launched into his set on the first episode of Season III. Something about his father dying the day before (We don't have TiVo!). Now, don't get us wrong. (DO NOT GET US WRONG.) We sympathize. We've gone on stage, in the clothes we wore to the funeral that day, and done our thing mere hours after putting a loved one in the ground, so we're not unsympathetic when a comic loses a loved one and is required to perform. But May did his thing on national television, in a contest, where tons of money and notoriety were at stake. And he told old jokes! With tears streaming down his face. We felt bad for him. But we also felt bad for Todd Glass who had to follow him. And we felt bad for Tammy Pescatelli who was up against him, sort of (We think...remember-- we don't have TiVo). Now, everybody has a different way of dealing with a contest. And everybody has a different way of dealing with grief. But, if Mr. May was too distraught to perform his usual set, maybe he should have consulted with the LCS Officials and maybe begged off for this week's competition. Maybe? Are we being too hard on Mr. May? Perhaps.

Hmmm... We're watching Episode II and they've just read the results. It seems that Team Two won. Perhaps all this is tears under the bridge. We'll see how it shapes up and see who get exiled, who gets booted. Stay tuned.

Rabbi Bob Alper dropped us a line to let us know that he's qvelling (Yiddish for "exceptionally proud") to hear the news that Ahmed Ahmed is the winner of the first Richard Pryor Award at the Edinburgh Fringe. (Read all about it here and here.) Alper, you may recall, was comedy partners with Ahmed Ahmed, when the two toured America together shortly after 9-11, garnering plenty of ink and acclaim. Richard Pryor is quoted of saying that Ahmed, "makes people confront their racism and small minds. I see genius in this man." Oh, I think he'll be able to find room for that somewhere in the ol' press kit!

Ever wondered where the gigs are in France? Pretty dopey question, we know. Anyway, there's a gig in Paris... at the Hotel du Nord... and they book American comics... and you don't hafta speak French to work the gig. Laughing Matters is the outfit that books it. Coming up in September is Jimeoin, who is, according to the Laughing Matters website, "acclaimed as one of the hottest stand-up comics on Australia's live and television circuits." We can attest to this statement, as when we visited Australia in 1991, we ran into Jimoein on the streets of Sydney, in the Kings Cross section of town. (Small bloody world, yeah?) We recognized him because we had seen him on a TV talk show the night before. Turns out he's Irish and he lives in Sydney... and next month, he'll be gigging in Paris.

Courtesy of Mediaweek.com, one of the cooler websites out there:

On this first evening minus The 2004 Summer Olympics, although the 90-minute, fifth-season premiere of NBC's Fear Factor was third in the overnights (7.4/11), the now veteran reality series was first in both total viewers (10.90 million) and adults 18-49 (4.5/13) from 8-9:30 p.m. As I mentioned yesterday, Fear Factor remains the show to beat Monday at 8 p.m. next season. At 9:30 p.m., the third-season premiere of Last Comic Standing was third in the overnights (5.3/ 8) and total viewers (7.78 million), but second among adults 18-49 (3.8/10) from 9:30-11 p.m. Retention for Last Comic Standing out of Fear Factor was a respectable 84 percent among adults 18-49.

It took them 11 minutes and 40 seconds to mention Bonnie McFarlane's absence. They hadda. When Screaming Jay Mohr did eventually address the situation, they used it as an opportunity to welcome the substitute, Jessica Kirson, the hyperactive New Yorker. The confusing melange of rules and regs for the Season III format is headache-inducing and not important. It will result in the winning team splitting $50,000. I think. Or maybe $50,000 each week. It's all very sad. Couldn't they have foreseen that America would want to see a new set of 10? Couldn't they have planned for a third season?

It's taking on many of the characteristics of pro wrestling now. And not nearly as entertaining and without all the fake blood. (That would be your sarcasm.) Huh? The rest are performing tomorrow night? Did Jay Mohr just say that? (Please don't post at the end of this with an explanation of the rules. We're not interested in understanding them.) We're sure the rules will lose their mystery as the eight-week run goes on.

Did they intentionally choose a sub for Bonnie that was the polar opposite of Bonnie? Did they employ some sort of formula? And couldn't they have found someone who can tell time? Like someone who knows how long two minutes is? They turn off the mike after two minutes... literally turn it off! It's all such a sorry spectacle. Maybe it will improve. Stay tuned. Maybe we're just tired.

Does he hafta call it "the battle of the best?" We're cranky. I'm sure we'll happy up in subsequent episodes.

Friend of SHECKYmagazine Dan Rosenberg writes:

We are very excited to let you know that THE COMEDY DISTRICT is opening Wednesday September 1, 2004. We are not doing a huge "grand opening" until November (don't worry, you'll be invited!) but we will start our regular weekly schedule as of Wednesday.

Here is the schedule:

WED: OPEN MIKE 8:15pm NO COVER (Comics wanting to perform, sign ups are from 7:45pm until 8:15pm.) A true open mike and a lot of fun!

THURS: PRO/AM Showcase. 8:15pm $10.

FRI and SAT: National Headliners. 10:15pm $15.

Please come by and say hi this weekend. Oh yeah, NO DRINK MINIMUM and FREE PARKING!!!

Comedians looking for bookings, please stop by, say hi and drop off a tape at one of the shows, or even better, come do a spot at the Wednesday open mike.

The club is located in Culver City at 9543 Culver Blvd (inside San Gennaro Cafe) The room has been remodeled and is a great intimate space.

We would love to have you come join us for a FREE show this weekend. Please visit www.thecomedydistrict.com/viptix.htm to order your free tickets.

Thanks!

Dan Rosenberg and Burt Teplitzky
The Comedy District
www.thecomedydistrict.com

Obviously, this is a press release. When Mr. Rosenberg writes to us, his style is usually much more...breezy. In fact, when we hit town (L.A., that is) last Tuesday, we hunted him down at Marv & Mary's (a funky open mike at a Mexican restaurant in West L.A.) and he took us over to Culver City to see the progress on the club. The District will be a welcome addition to the scene in L.A.!

Hit lasvegassun.com then hit "Accent" then hit "Columnists" then seek out the column by Lisa Ferguson. Her Laugh Lines column appears every Friday. It's always about comedy. In her most recent column, on August 27, she wrote this:

Traci Skene celebrates her 39th birthday today. The comedian -- who, along with her stand-up comic husband, Brian McKim, is the co-founder, co-editor and co-publisher of online comedy Web site SHECKYmagazine (www.sheckymagazine.com) -- guested for several weeks earlier this month in "Divas of Comedy" at Sahara. The couple, who call Haddon Heights, N.J., home, update their magazine daily and continue to perform stand-up about 200 nights per year.

She also wrote about Shelly McCarty, who runs a comedy night off the strip. She's a great source of info about standup in the Vegas!

Of the tour that pairs Mitch Hedberg and Stephen Lynch, the press release says, "Comedy fans won't find a cooler more sublime comedy show all year." Clear Channel has arranged an ambitious tour of the two comics, calling them "Comedy Central favorites." Check out the sked below, comedy fans!

Yes. Tom Ryan has confirmed that he has been bumped. Not enough time at the end of the taping. But he has been assured that his appearance will be re-scheduled and that he'll let us know when that re-scheduled date is!

CBS Television City, where they tape what is referred to as "Kilborn."

As our 28-day road trip comes to an end, we're also wrapping up our brief foray into southern California. Wednesday's weather was about as perfect as one could experience without having to fly to Honolulu. We took advantage of the sunshine and the perfect temp by visiting one of our dearest friends-- Burbank. (We lived there for five years. We try to say hello when we can.) After dining al fresco and sucking down a cup of Starbucks (Sorry, anarchists, collectivists and anti-capitalist conspiracy cranks, but we loves them Starbucks!) we made our way over to the Burbank HQ of Hero Product Placement. Hero's principals are "The O's"-- SHECKYmagazine readers know them as Steeves and Mrs. Steeves (actually, Julie). Their product placement venture has been going great guns for seven years now. We were treated to a tour of their spacious facilities over near the Burbank Airport and we tried, unsuccessfully, to catch up on all that has transpired since our last visit with Steeves!

Our visit was all too brief. We departed and headed over the hills via Laurel Canyon to CBS Television City, as we made arrangements with Late Late Show staff writer (and SHECKYmagazine columnist) Dan French to view a taping (the next to next to last taping!) of what has come to be know simply as "Kilborn." We weren't in the spacious (and well-stocked) green room for more than five minutes when Steve Gelder showed up (see photo). He resides in L.A. now, mainly writing. A party atmosphere briefly erupted after Mr. French appeared and taping neared. Bob Saget swang through briefly to scoop up some of the farfalle with chicken and pesto before making a "surprise visit" to Craigers. Eventually, we were escorted by the audience wrangler to our seats in the studio. Comics make lousy audience members at these tapings, but we went in anyway. (Was it absolutely necessary to put us in the first row?!) We watched as Saget, Carl Reiner, Cole Hauser and Diane Druger (the gal who played Helen of Troy in "Troy") came out and did their guest spots. The taping was a well-oiled machine. (And that Gelder did a hilarious-- and wildly insincere-- parody of a frothing, ferocious audience member. At least we hope it was insincere! At any rate, it made us look bad by comparison. All that clapping is suprisingly exhausting!)


Steve Gelder and Kilborn staffer Dan French in the green room at Kilborn

OXYGEN IN THE CONTRACT?

Soon, we'll head to Flagstaff for Traci's gig at Northern Arizona University on Friday night. One part of Traci's contract for her NAU gig stood out:

#25. Flagstaff is at an elevation of 7,000 ft. above sea level. If artist will require oxygen, arrangements must be made directly between Artist/Agency and an appropriate vendor." Traci is kicking herself for not asking for oxygen.

"But," she says, "Who knows if you're going to require oxygen if you've never performed at 7,000 ft. above sea level?!" It would have been quite a spectacle if she had arranged for oxygen and actually sucked it down throughout her set. We hear that Rodney required oxygen when he visited Aspen for the USCAF.

CELEBRITY SPOT, PT. II

We were checking our email and getting some business done in the Burbank Kinko's upon hitting town Tuesday afternoon when we spotted someone who looked familiar two cubicles over-- Jane Wiedlin of the Go Go's. (She was the one with the short, black hair.) The main reason we were able to I.D. her is that she looks exactly as she did in 1983!

Editors NOTE: We're in Flagstaff right now... we fly outta Vegas tomorrow... we'll be posting a final L.A. experience posting and wrapping our trip up when we get back to SHECKYmagazine.com HQ... look for another update in 48 hours!!

SHECKYmagazine.com columnist Tom Ryan will appear on Late Show With David Letterman tomorrow (Friday) night! Here's something fun to do: Before you watch Tom's set tomorrow night, read Tom's excellent first-hand account of his very first Letterman shot by clicking here! It's just like being there in the green room!

From NBC's website (via Sharilyn Johnson):

During a special 90-minute premiere episode, comics from season 1 and 2 will return for a battle of the best. Following performances from some of the comics, viewers will place their first votes for which comic should be eliminated as the comics begin their quest for over $500,000.

Since nearly all the comics from seasons 1 and 2 are on lengthy personal appearance tours, we're at a loss to figure out how that wily Jay Mohr will structure this season's contest.

In another unrelated note: In an item speculating as to who might replace Craig Kilborn as host of Late Late Show, we referred to NBC twice, when we knew darn well it was CBS that airs the show. We have a perfectly good excuse if you'd like to hear it: For as long as we could remember, the big three channels in the Philadelphia market were 3, 6 and 10, which were NBC, ABC and CBS, respectively. Then, about 10 years ago, when CBS and Westinghouse merged, and since Westinghouse owned 3, the FCC made the new entity divest itself of 3... or was it 10? To make matters more confusing, they merely swapped facilities! So now all the people who usta work at 3 were now on 10 and vice versa. Our brains are permanently scrambled. Example: When Letterman was on NBC, he could be found on channel 3. Then he switched to CBS. Then, a couple years later, he was on 3, but he's on CBS. It's been eight years, but confusion still reigns! Can't they all just switch back?!

Rodney Dangerfield was admitted on Tuesday to a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery. It figures he'd have a a priceless quote.

The 82-year-old comedian quipped that he planned on a brief hospital stay. "If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half," he said.

Concise, witty, somewhat dark. Rodney. We saw Rodney on Kimmel recently. He looked great. We hope he's okay.

We have it on good authority that Bonnie McFarlane will not participate in Last Comic Standing III. That's right, our own Bonnie McFarlane has opted not to participate in the third season of the NBC reality series. As far as we know, she's the only one from either house to say no. We'll keep you posted if/when we know more.

Over the cybertransom comes a press release from the folks at the USCAF:

Every year the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival showcases the most cutting edge comedy in the areas of stand-up, sketch, theater, alternative and one person shows.

To be considered for the 2005 U.S. Comedy Arts Festival please submit your material (DVD, VHS tape, press kit, written materials, upcoming performance schedules, articles, etc.) to the address listed below making sure to include the best means of contacting you (e-mail, phone, address, agent, manager, publicist, etc.) Submissions will also be accepted via E-Mail at USCAFTalent@hbo.com. Once we've received and reviewed your material, we will contact you if we are interested in potentially booking you for the Festival. Submissions will be accepted beginning July 1, 2004 and ending November 1, 2004. Please note that submission materials will not be returned.

Also, periodically check this website for announcements and information regarding the Festival.

Mailing address:

USCAF Talent Department
2500 Broadway
Suite 400
Santa Monica, CA 90404
E-mail: USCAFTalent@hbo.com

A BRIEF FORAY INTO SOUTHEASTERN ARIZONA


Traci Skene poses at the Windemere Hotel in Sierra Vista Hotel with show producer Amy Blackwell
We had the extreme pleasure of working in Sierra Vista, AZ, last weekend. It wasn't the first time we worked for/with comedian/producer Amy Blackwell-- several years ago, we worked with her in the surreal burg of Kingman, AZ.


I THINK "HIP AND MODERN," I THINK "ELLEN DEGENERES"

The following came from Variety, via Tommy James:

(Jerry)Weintraub and Warner Bros. have set Ellen DeGeneres to star in a remake of the 1977 comedy "Oh, God!" DeGeneres will play the title character, a role originally performed by George Burns.

Weintraub produced the original "Oh, God!," which also starred John Denver and spawned two sequels. Weintraub said he could never figure out how to remake a film in a way that would flatter the original. He was recently approached by DeGeneres, however, and was impressed by her take. Then he got the blessing of the original's director, Carl Reiner, and writer Larry Gelbart.

"Ellen is a strong comedienne and she has always done material about God and questions about God," said Weintraub. "She will help us with the writing, and using her will allow us to do a proper 2005 view of 'Oh God!' that is hip and modern."

Even Degeneres herself would tell you that she is neither hip nor modern. Read the whole thing.

Atop the Stratoshpere. Not: Steve Wynn's new place is going up just over Brian's left shoulder

We're headed into Los Angeles tomorrow afternoon...we're in Vegas right now. The only obligation we have right now is hagning out at a taping of Late Late Show on Wednesday (Franklyn Ajaye is scheduled to be on that show and our own Dan French is on the staff, so we're looking forward to it. We're going to try to hang at the Improv on Thursday night. Outside of that, we got nothing. Sure, this is short notice, but that's just the way it worked out. It is hoped that we'll be visiting L.A. more frequently in the coming months, but right here and now, we hope to be hanging out there for the 60 hours starting tomorrow afternoon. If you're in town, send us an email!! Thanks!

There's a quote at the beginning of Chris Rock's 1997 book "Rock This." It's unattributed, but we assume it's Rock's quote, and it's just floating there on the page by itself, in italics.

Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, "Hey. Do you see that ghost?" And he says, "What ghost?"

The book pretty much goes downhill from there, but the above quote is worth the buck we paid for it at a thrift shop in Reno. Rock had already starred in CB4 and Boomerang, and he had his HBO show going, so it's a wonder that Hyperion didn't demand a better book than this. Maybe Rock himself should have demanded a better book.

A sharp-eyed reader points out that Jake Johannsen is spelled with two "n's" and an "e" and that his official website is www.jakethis.com.

CHANDLER,AZ--We're more than halfway to our gig in Sierra Vista (Friday and Saturday). In a Fairfield just south of Phoenix. We set out from the Los Angeles basin just before rush hour is supposed to begin, according to Tommy James. (It had been so long since we'd visited L.A.-- since September 2000 to be exact-- that we forgot most of the traffic avoidance knowledge we had acquired during our five-year tenure, from '88 to '93, so we took Tommy's word for it.) We encountered a bit of squeeziness on the 10, but nothing of any consequence. We made it here in a respectable six hours.

We had been in L.A. for just slightly more than 24 hours. And, even though we gave them such short notice, the Jameses were more than happy to let us stay at their abode. We decided to hit the Improv and hang in one place for Wednesday-- streamlined hanging after a grueling four-hour trek through the desert from Vegas.


These would be three of the people who showed up at the Melrose club: Adam Gropman, Mark Saldana and Tommy James

Tommmy had a gig in the Valley, so he dropped us at the club. Shortly after we arrived, the first show of the evening was letting out-- a Nickelodeon showcase that featured kid comics! The horror! Don't get us started.


The second show was a showcase arranged by Ron Reid... the Seattle Ron Reid. Forgive us-- we don't have all their names! We'll make an effort to find out who they were. We do know for a fact that one of them was Alicia Wood, whom we had met a few years earlier in her home club, the Seattle Underground (or at least it was her home club then).


These would be Peter Grumbine and Alicia Wood

We know we're kinda short on details and atmoshpere here, but we're slightly exhausted... we've traveled quite a bit over the last three days or so: Reno to Vegas to L.A. to Chandler! We can say that Jake Johanson/Johansen was there and did a set last night. (There's some controversy as to how that last name is spelled. Laugh.com spells it with an "o", the Improv site spells it with an "e" and we'll be damned if we can find Jake's official site!)

You Say Irisitis, I Say Iritis

Speaking of spelling, we were startled to find out that Tommy James' affliction, the one that nearly caused him to go blind is actually spelled "iritis." This demonstrates the unreliability of the internet when it comes to verifying spelling. We Googled both "irisitis" and "iritis" and both come up in listings. Merriam-Webster only lists the latter. (We're perplexed-- we know that "itis" denotes inflammation, but we figured that inflammation of the iris would be "irisitis." Read about Tommy's affliction in one of his more popular Big Move columns here. Some time in the near future, we'll correct the spelling! (For the record, Tommy turned in his copy with the word in question spelled correctly! It was we who changed it.)

Speaking of Tommy James and Adam Gropman: The comedy room they collaborate on got written up in the La Cañada Valley Sun newspaper!

Richard Mados, owner of the coffee house, had been looking to add entertainment to his business. He advertised, and stand-up comedian Adam Gropman approached him. Within weeks the pair developed a show under the premise of bringing established comics to the bedroom community of La Cañada, "away from the whole Hollywood vibe, where there really wasn't anything else like it nearby," as Gropman tells it.

Read all about it by clicking here.

What's In Your Wallet?

We fueled up for our ride back through the desert by eating at the Baja Fresh at LaBrea and Santa Monica. While we were downing our Dos Manos Burrito, we espied none other than Drew Carey at the ATM machine. We didn't have any biz cards at the ready, so we couldn't make a pitch for interviewing him. We figure maybe we'll just bug Messina when we come back into town next week!

Escape To Los Angeles, Pt. II

Our trip to L.A. was rather impulsive, with no notice and over in a matter of 24 hours or so. We did it that way because... well, we just did. However, be advised SHECKYmagazine fans: We return to Los Angeles NEXT WEEK! Tune into this very website for details! Make plans to hang! We look forward to seeing some of the folks we haven't seen in years!

We're staying over in Vegas one more day before pushing off for our first of two brief forays into SoCal. We're downtown at the Lady Luck. We popped on over to the Plaza (Site of the fabulous SHECKYmagazine.Comics Only Reunion in '01! Should we have another one?!?!) and we learned that the Comedy Zone, normally in the cleverly named Plaza Showroom is, according to the guy in the Cashier's Cage, temporarily dark pending relocation inside the Plaza. He said that it's been dark for two weeks and that there is no tentative re-open date. This being Vegas, we're figuring that it's permanent lights out for the Zone in Vegas... at least at the Plaza. The Plaza's marquee heralds the arrival of Dick Clark's Rock Roll and Remember. Hmmm... Stay Tuned.

It's time to change the caption on the giant photo behind the front desk at the Sahara. "Bob Hope, Johnny Carson and Buddy Hackett. Who's the funniest man alive? You be the judge," it says. Of course, the only one alive is Carson, so he wins this little competition by default. The Sahara, marooned at the end of the strip, is doing all they can to attract a crowd. They're doing a tremendous job of hearkening back to their past by posting giant, cool black and white pics of all the cool people who've made the Sahara their home over the years.

A reader writes:

To Whom It May Concern:

I am the General Manager for Catch A Rising Star in Albuquerque, NM (Yes, this is where Jay London performed. yes, it would've helped for him to mention our name. Anyway...) I would like to get a listing on the website with information about our new club. We have been in downtown Albuquerque for 5 weeks now, since July 15th and any support you can give in terms of your listing would be greatly appreciated.

Here's the information:

Catch A Rising Star Comedy Club inside Puccini's Golden West Saloon on 7th and Central Ave. SW. Club number is 505.243.9699
Showtimes are 7:30 pm and 9:15 pm Thursday - Saturday.
Please let me know if you need any other information and thanks again for your support.

Sincerely,
Denise L. Grey
General Manager
Catch A Rising Star Comedy Club
Albuquerque, NM

We reply: We'll be updating the Club Listing page soon... We like to let a few build up, and then do them all at once. Thanks!

Traci was watching that Regis & Kelly show and said that John Heffron was the subject of their daily "Travel Trivia question. The lucky caller correctly identified (with a guess!) that Detroit was Heffron's hometown, as stated by him on the previous day's show. The caller won a trip to Hawaii and $3,000 worth of appliances. Who, among the L.C.S.ers is making the biggest impression out there in Cyber-America? Well, it ain't scientific, but a cursory examination of our top ten "search keyphrases" (it's one of the many stats we have access to here at SHECKYmagazine.com) reveals the following:

bonnie mcfarlane
gary gulman
mitch hedberg
lewis black
dick cavett
shecky magazine
shecky
alonzo bodden
last comic standing
kathleen madigan

We'd like to remind all you SHECKYmagazine.com readers that the poll is still up and collecting data. We wanna know how long you've been doing comedy. The poll's over there -----> and, even if you have never set foot on a stage, you can still check the top answer ("Never Done It").

DISSED BY THE DEAF!

Some of you may recall that we were anticipating doing a Saturday late show at the Sands Regency for the hearing impaired people who were staying at the hotel. Comic and club manager James Bean even arranged for a signer (that's sign-er, as in "one who signs, not sing-er, as in "one who sings") to interpret our acts for the folks who can't hear. Well, not one deaf person showed up (Again we ask, is "deaf" regarded as a pejorative term among the HI crowd?) and we even got stood up by the signer! No matter, though-- we had a healthy and appreciative crowd of non-HI fans show up. Would have been quite a challenge, though! We were really looking forward to it. And Cris Clobber, who was performing over at the Silver Legacy, gave us some good pointers, should we ever actually perform for the HI.

"No, not tonight, thank you..."

Can a person be too polite? This is the question we are asking today. Last night, at 12:44 AM, the phone here in our room at the Sahara rang. Who the...? Brian answered. Traci heard Brian say, "No, not tonight, thank you..." before hanging up. She thought it might be housekeeping... but at 12:44 AM? Turns out it was "Vanessa," asking if Brian "would like a woman sent to the room?" Upon learning the true nature of the caller, Traci would have preferred an answer more along the lines of "I most certainly do not want some trollop sent up to my room! Filthy whore! I and my lovely wife are appalled at your offer! Good day!" After receiving a message this morning from "Summer" making pretty much the same offer, we concluded that hookers are in season here in Vegas. Perhaps it's the Associated Surplus Dealers/Associated Merchandise Dealers convention that's dominating the town this week (and driving up hotel room rates!) that's responsible for the increaased hooker chatter. You know those retailers...

We hopped on over to Catch at the Silver Legacy to snap a pic of Cris Clobber and Joby Saad and maybe get in Carrot Top's face. ("The Top" was playing in the huge sub-terranean showroom at the Legacy. We caught the last 50 seconds of his huge production-- He was prancing around onstage, shirtless, draped in a British flag, doing an impression of Mick Jagger.) Progress on the closed captioned show at the Sands is coming along. We'll keep you posted.

Reno has turned back into the wild, wild west-- We walked over to the Cal-Neva for a dog and a beer. Just as we were approaching the main entrance, an altercation erupted on the street just outside the Cal-Neva and followed us into the casino. As we cowered behind a bank of slot machines (We figure a slot machine will stop a small-caliber bullet!), the tussle briefly disturbed a blackjack table and briefly interrupted the action at the tables. When we exited 15 minutes later, four or five of Reno's police cruisers had the entire rumble under control. We never did get that dog. We opted for a late-night snack at Mel's Diner at the Sands. That pleasant experience ended with Traci picking a drunk up off the floor at the table across the aisle from us. When he finally righted himself he muttered slowly, "I'm... fucked... up."

Our favorite quote of the road trip so far (a ten-year-old boy to his father, poolside at the River Palms): "Well, Dad, you can't live with her, you can't chop her up into thirty pieces and put her in the Dumpster."

No, that's not a typo in the title... but more about that later.

While Brian was onstage at the Just For Laughs comedy club here at the Sands Regency in Reno, Traci was chilling in the hotel room, surveying the Thursday night offerings via crappy cable. Being the editor and publisher of the WWW's M.B.M.A.S.C.*, she manages to catch any/all standup-related TV programming... it's spooky almost, like a One Degree Of Separation from standup comedy game.

LAST COMIC STANDING

Congratulations to John Heffron for being the last comic standing. (Someone tell us where the payoff is for Mr. Heffron! NBC has announced that he and the 19 others who've made it to the house over the last two seasons will slug it out in L.C.S. III. He'll wear the crown for only ten weeks! Unless he wins again! (That's not likely. We'll go out on a limb here and predict that Ralphie May will "win" L.C.S. III.)

Traci: "If Ralphie May is going to pretend to be black, he might as well pretend to be thin! Or female! They all slammed Dat Phan for being so calculated, yet they let Ralphie May off the hook! I'm not slamming either one on their ability to do standup, but they're both extremely contrived. And in his routine on the final episode, Phan complains that he's being typecast as an Asian with an accent... when it was the Asian with an accent character that endeared him to millions and enabled him to be the first Last Comic Standing!"

We gotta admire Alonzon Bodden, though. He came out and met his chat room critics head-on by saying, and we're paraphrasing here, "There's no such thing as a mean joke. It's either funny, or it's not funny. If I hear a funny joke, I laugh. I don't form a focus group to find out if anybody got hurt." He also complained, bitterly but to humorous effect, about the criticism that he did too much material about being black. "I am black!" he said, somewhat bemused, somewhat exasperated.

LATE LATE SHOW...WITHOUT CRAIG KILBORN!

First New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, now Craig Kilborn! A gay affair? No! A resignation! We were stunned to hear that Kilborn is leaving the show in two weeks! (Read about it here.) We hear it has something to do with money... Anyway, we nominate Jimmy Pardo to take over the position left vacant by Kilborn's exit. Or Dave Chapelle! NBC is talking about snaring Conan.

BALDERDASH!

Speaking of Jimmy Pardo, Skene caught him in her TV dragnet last night, spotting him as one of the celebrity panelists on Elayne Boosler's game show Balderdash (a show we told you about on these very pages just months ago)! Also on the panel were Eric Roberts and Tammy Pescatelli. Pardo managed to upstage Roberts. He parodies the show biz thing to tremendous comic effect. Perhaps because he does the show biz thing so well. If, while watching a parody, you must occasionally question if it is indeed a parody, you're witnessing the finest parody there is. (Memo to NBC: Pardo hosting Late Late Show, with Jim Gaffigan as the sidekick. With They Might Be Giants as the house band. Just John and John, no backup.)

CELEBRITY BOXING?

What does Celebrity Boxing have to do with standup comedy? Take a look at the undercard: When the person beating the crap out of aging 70's-era gymnastic icon Olga Korbut is none other than Darva Conger-- your One Degree of Separationg leads to Rick Rockwell, whom Conger married as part of Fox's Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire. Need another standup connection? How about the Main Event: Ron Pallilo (TV's Horshack) going toe-to-toe with Dustin Diamond, (Screech from Saved By The Bell), who, we recall, hit the comedy club circuit a few years back with less than satisfying results. (We hear he handled it all with grace and generosity, however... the comedy circuit, that is.) Skene notes that the ring announcer, Philly-born ex-model, Michael Buffer ("Let's get ready to rummmmbbblllle!"), prefaced the whole sordid affair by taking a moment "to honor America with the singing of the national anthem..." If they truly wanted to honor America, Skene said, "they might consider cancelling Celebrity Boxing! It makes Man Vs. Beast look like Masterpiece Theater!"

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

Skene also spotted one of our favorites, Ron White on Blue Collar TCV, the Jeff Foxworthy headed sketch show. We were wondering why White wasn't included in all the pre-premiere hype of the WB show. (Or is it UPN? We get them confused!) But there he was! Smoking and drinking, too! On TV! In primetime! Like or not, the show, Skene says, "is damn consistent. It does what it wants to do and does it well. Ya gotta admire its consistency!"

Sands Regency Hosts Hearing Impaired Group!

The hotel is rapidly filling with hearing-impaired folks. (We're not sure what the occasion is, but judging from the numbers, we're certain it's not a coincidence!) Just For Laughs host/house emcee James Bean is scouting around for a crack signer-- someone proficient in American Sign Language-- who might be recruited to stand onstage during our sets and sign our acts to the hearing impaired in attendance, maybe at a special late night Friday or Saturday show! We've performed in blackouts, we've performed without a sound system; this would be a challenge on a grand scale. We'll keep you posted on the eventual outcome!

Also performing in Reno: Jimmy Pardo, Chipper Lowell (at the Improv in Tahoe), Chirs Clobber, Joby Saad (Catch at the Silver Legacy), and in the big rooms this weekend are Carrot Top at the Silver Legacy and Louie Anderson at John Ascuaga's Nugget.

From the feature in Thursday's Reno-Gazette Journal:

"After a concert, I get comments like, 'Wow, the show's a lot better than I thought it'd be, a lot smarter, bigger.'"

From the same paper, different feature:

"The first time on stage, I wasn't as nervous as you might expect," Anderson said, "I remember that whatever jitters I felt were overwhelmed by the exciting prospect of all the attention and love seated in front of me. With the first laugh, I knew I was hooked-- a junkie for life."

* The WWW's most beloved magazine about standup comedy, hereinafter to be denoted by the acronym WWWMBMASC.

1) Heffron
2) Alonzo
3) Gulman

From an email... from a reader... we uploaded it as fast as we could!

Here's the schedule for the "I'm Still Standing Tour," starring Jay London, Alonzo Bodden and Gary Gulman

Tampa Improv-- Aug. 19th to 22nd
Pittsburgh Improv-- Aug. 26th to 29th
Tempe Improv-- Sept. 2nd to 5th
Zanies in Downtown Chicago-- Sept. 9th
Zanies in Vernon Hills-- Sept. 10th & 11th
Zanies in St. Charles-- Sept. 12th
Zanies in Nashville-- Sept. 16th to 19th
Jokers Comedy Cafe in Dayton, OH-- Sept. 21st
Cleveland Improv-- Sept. 22nd to 26th
Addison Improv-- Sept. 29th to Oct. 3rd
Punchline in San Francisco-- Oct. 5th to 9th
Punchline in Sacramento-- Oct. 13th to 17th
Catch a Rising Star in Reno-- Oct. 21st to 24th
Comedy Connection in Providence-- Oct. 27th & 28th
Comedy Connection in Boston-- Oct. 29th to 31st
Houston Improv-- Nov. 4th to 7th
Brea Improv-- Nov. 11th to 14th
Miami Improv-- Nov. 18th to 21st
Stress Factory in NJ-- Nov. 26th to 28th
Catch a Rising Star in Princeton-- Dec. 2nd to 5th
Baltimore Improv-- Dec. 8th to 12th
Orlando Improv-- Dec. 30th to Jan. 2nd
West Palm Beach Improv-- Jan. 6th to 9th
Penguins Comedy Club in Cedar Rapids, IA to Jan. 13th
Penguins Comedy Club in Bettendorf, IA-- Jan. 14th & 15th
Brewsters Comedy Club in Peoria, IL-- Jan. 16th
Stardome in Hoover, AL-- Jan. 20th to 23th
Funny Farm in Roswell, GA-- Jan. 27th to 30th

The new L.C.S. winner will be revealed tonight. We're in Reno. Could someone on the east coast please send us an email as soon as Jay Mohr squawks out the final word? (Now we know what it feels like for all our readers in the Pacific Time Zone!)

As far as our readers are concerned, Gary Gulman will win (53%), John Heffron if favored by 32% of you and Alonzo Bodden brings up the rear with 15%. We shall see how wise you are.

WE HAVE A NEW POLL

We'd like all of our readers to take a moment and answer the question: "How long have you been doing comedy?" Even if you have never done it, we have a box you can check. Please take a moment to take the poll-- we'd like to know about the depth of experience of our readers, from rabid fan to veteran comic! Thanks! (It's over there ----->)

Las Vegas Weekly has a cover story about standup in their Aug. 5-11 issue. It's still online here, at least for another day or two... after that, you might have to do a search in their archives. The story is entitled, "Behind the Comedy: Four Serious Lessons About the Funny Business in Las Vegas" by Richard Abowitz.

Schirripa also points out that another drawback of Las Vegas is that, unlike at traditional comedy clubs, there is no room to nurture local or untested talent:

"One thing about Vegas: These aren't open-mike nights. You got to be ready. I am not using amateurs. If you make it to the Riviera Comedy Club or to the Tropicana, you got to be a pro, and you got to prepared to handle yourself. You got to be on top of your game here. You got to be prepared."

We ate breakfast over at the Pioneer, one of the original casino/hotels in Laughlin. (Get the Six-Shooter-- Two eggs, bacon and sausage plus toast for $3.99) On the way out, we spotted the "Jeff Foxworthy, You Might Be A Redneck If" penny slot machine. Have you licensed your name and likeness to a slot machine manufacturer lately? I didn't think so. We pumped in a dollar and, what seemed like days later, we won enough pennies to pretty much cover breakfast. The machine, by the way, is one of those video slot machines with hogs, outhouses, moonshine and pickup trucks instead of cherries, limes, plums and oranges. The folks down south must be real proud of Jeffrey. (In other news revolving around gambling devices that bear the image and names of standup comics, we lost $6.85 on the Reel Respect slot, a nickel machine that bears the likeness of Rodney Dangerfield.)

We had decent crowds all week at Berri Lee's Comedy Show at the Cabana Club. Musta been that full-page writeup in the Laughlin Entertainer! Too bad they spilled all that ink on an enterprise that's discontinued after August 14! The higher-ups at the River Palms' corporate parent have decided to gut the Cabana Club and turn it into an open, lounge-type venue, rendering it unusable for comedy. The decision came from out of the blue and Berrri had the unenviable task of cancelling a bill or two.

Lee's had an interesting career: A debut on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1969, performing in over three dozen Vegas "production shows," opener for a lot of the big Vegas acts. (We're trying to persuade him to put some of his experiences down in writing for the edification of our readers. Stay tuned.)

We had Sunday off, so we took the opportunity to stay put for a day in Laughlin. On Sunday night, we hopped over to the Comedy Stop at the Flamingo to say hey to Kevin Knox and Mitchell Walters, maybe take a digital pic for the magazine... standard SHECKYmagazine practice. The folks who man the Stop didn't seem to grasp the whole concept. We handed our card to one of the Stoppers and briefly explained that we were comedians who'd been working down the other end of Casino Drive and we'd like to snap a pic of the comics, blah, blah, woof, woof... he handed the card back! NO! You take the card, you go back to the green room and you say, "Hey, guys-- Anybody know these assholes out front? They wanna picture of you. They say they're working at Berri Lee's club." The other comics then say, "Send the fuckers back here!" Then we get the pic and everyone's happy puss ends up on the front page of the WWW's most beloved magazine about standup. That's usually how it works. Instead we get "Well, the comics usually come out of that door back there..." and we're forced to wait around like stagedoor goofballs, like crazed fans. The ignominy. The end result? We leave. No picture. As the TV Guide might say, "JEERS to the Comedy Stop crew in Laughlin for not letting the scrappy internet mag SHECKYmagazine do their thing!"

Kathleen Dunbar and Carla Rae are two of the nicest people in the business... odd that they'd be anchoring a show called "Divas of Comedy" at the Sahara every Monday night! They're "anti-Divas." Should they ever come into contact with a geniune diva, the result would be a loud boom and mass destruction, like the meeting of matter and anti-matter. The show at the CasBar Lounge was packed last night. SHECKYmagazine's Traci Skene will be on the bill next Monday as well. The show features a revolving roster of chick comics-- Pam Mateson, Carole Montgomery, Kira Soltanovich and others. Stop in next Monday and say Hey!

We're off to Reno. It takes ten hours through some of the most hostile terrain in the continental U.S. to get there from here. Wish us luck. Stay tuned. Don't forget to watch Last Comic Standing tonight. Two hours? Hmmm...

There's a crude cross by the side of the road, the members are fastened together with a coupla Philips head screws. It's down a slight embankment, maybe about 12 or 15 feet from the shoulder. We asked the gal at the Chevron, the one just north of where Rte. 163 T's into Rte. 95, if she knew where Kinison died. She said it happened in Arizona. There is little information on the internet, but this much we do know. On April 10, 1992, Kinison was headed to a gig in Laughlin when his vehicle was hit by a vehicle occupied by two men in their late teens.

The cab of their Chevrolet pickup was littered with beer cans as they tore down U.S. highway 95, swerving into oncoming traffic near the California-Nevada border. Moments after hitting Kinison's Pontiac Trans-Am head-on, fatally injuring the comedian and knocking his new wife unconscious, one of the teenagers said: "God! Look at my truck!" (From the Los Angeles Times News Service, April 11, 1992)

We tried to find the spot on our way to Laughlin, but we weren't sure about the exact location; we just recalled from the news reports at the time that it was between Searchlight and the border. We researched it a bit and, from what we could tell, the cross is probably marking the spot where Kinison expired.

BERRI'S COMEDY CLUB


Above is Berri Lee backstage with Brian McKim at Berri Lee's Comedy Club, at the River Palms in Laughlin. The show is continuing for only one week more. We'll post more, but we gotta go! Stay tuned!

Our readers are brilliant. They correctly chose the final three. How do they do it? Here's the deal on the "Finale": We're fairly certain that NBC is giving us credentials... and we're fairly certain that there'll be some kind of hoopla in Los Angeles on Tuesday-- a show, etc. (They're claiming to have two solid hours of L.C.S. on Tuesday's schedule)-- And we'll be there for it. But we can't make it to the Thursday night wingding. But we'll be watching, you can bet on that.

We've re-jiggered the poll to reflect last night's halving of the contestants. Please take a moment to vote on the final result over there ------> Thanks!

Speaking of last night, we missed most of it because we were working, gigging, hiliariating, here in Laughlin. Traci caught the tail end of it, though.

Is Jay London going to get his ass reamed (pardon our French) for not mentioning the specific name of the club he's playing next week? (When quizzed as to where he might be appearing live in the near future, he replied, "Albuquerque." When pressed further for details, he would only say "Albuquerque... the streets of Albuquerquue." (Going along with host Mohr's joke.) Ouch! A club owner's nightmare!!

And how's that for a name-- Longsworth Bodden! The camera beamed a tight shot of Alonzo Bodden's father after Alonzo's set.

We're here through Sunday, then it's back to Vegas. Over at the Palms in Vegas, the casino owned by the Malouf Bros., the Hollywood Comedy Tour stops in tomorrow (Saturday). Hosted by Court McCown and Paul Hughes, the "Comedy on the Cutting Edge" will be served up by Rich Vos, Bonnie McFarlane and Danny Bonaduce. (Should his name be in bold? Is he really a comic?) Over at the Palace Station Steve White and Jann Karam are on the bill and downtown at the Union Plaza (site of 2001's SHECKYmagazine.Comics Only Reunion!), they list a comedy club, but they don't list the names... hmmmm... curious.

Ah! The glamorous world of internet publishing... I'm in the Bullhead City Library... or is it the Mohave County Library? Either way, they have wireless internet access for all! Bless them and bless the freeholders of Mohave County.

Just got this over the cyber transom (full disclosure: SHECKYmagazine editor Brian McKim recently designed Mr. Ajaye's website.):

Manic Depressive Records announces it's first release. The new double comedy and music CD by Franklyn Ajaye, "Vagabond Jazz & The Abstract Truth".

Recorded in Melbourne, Australia, this is the first new comedy by Franklyn Ajaye since his classic album "Don't' Smoke Dope, Fry Your Hair", and it is already being played on XM Satellite Radio, The All Comedy Network, Sirius Satellite, KLOS's "Five O 'Clock Funnies", and Khaha.com radio to very great response.

One more thing, Ajaye-related: He'll be on The Dennis Miller Show tomorrow (Friday) night, August 6. Check your newspaper for showtimes!

RUMOR CENTRAL

The glut of comedy clubs in Indianapolis is rumored to be easing somewhat according to rumors swirling through the comedy community. It seems that the Funny Bone has decided to fold its tent in Bob & Tom Land. This leaves a downtown club, the Broad Ripple club and Oneliners in Greenwood.

A CORRECTION

When writing about L.C.S. yesterday, we said that "we're going to try to persuade the bartender at the Pirate's Lounge to turn one of the plasma screens to the local Fox affiliate tomorrow night..." Why do we think that L.C.S. is a Fox product? What is wrong with us? Perhaps it reminds us of American Idol a bit too much. That's our excuse and we're sticking to it.

DEAL WITH IT!

From Tommy James comes the following heads up about a failed standup comic:

Actress Jennifer Aniston has ordered her lawyers to ban a tape of her early career as a stand-up comedian.

The Friends star, 35, is determined to prevent the copy of her unsuccessful comedy routine -- in front of an audience of 15 people at New York's Kit Kat club in 1990-- from being made public.

Aniston says, "My lawyers are onto this."

"It's not that I am bothered about my duff performance but I would hate anyone to actually pay money for it."

Her concern for the little guy and his little budget is truly touching. We only have one question: What is a "duff performance." Read the whole thing here.


ONE MORE THING

We're doing our best under (Laughlin) adverse conditions! We'll continue blogging as much as we can! Stay tuned for more! Don't forget to watch L.C.S. tonight! There will only be three left at 10PM EDT! (We're going to try to get press credentials for the finale... If NBC can make up their minds as to when it will be... and if our schedule allows us to be present. We'll be there if we can!)

We're in Laughlin, performing at the River Palms and Earthlink can't provide me with a local access number... at least not one that the River Palms won't charge me an arm and a leg to connect to. We're uploading this from the Java Junky, a coffee shop on Casino Blvd. with wireless access. The local paper ran an item about how folks here in Laughlin needn't dial "702" when they dial up Henderson or Vegas, but Sprint hasn't gotten around to designating a ton of exchanges as truly "local." Thus the charge from the River Palms folks.

We missed Last Comic Standing last night. But we're going to try to persuade the bartender at the Pirate's Lounge to turn one of the plasma screens to the local Fox affiliate tomorrow night so we can see who gets through. NBC's website says the following:

It's down to the last six comics. Jay, Gary, John, Kathleen, Tammy and Alonzo performed in front of an audience of millions. Then, by phone, internet and text message, America voted.

Thursday, the results are revealed - and it's the end of the line for three of the Final Six. Will your favorite make the cut? Watch the live event and find out!

The L.C.S./SHECKYmagazine.com Readers Poll reveals the following:

Heffron 32 %
Gulman 24 %
Bodden 14 %
London 13 %
Madigan 11 %
Pescatelli 6 %

Up the road at the Flamingo, the Comedy Stop is featuring Kevin Knox, Mitchell Walters and Todd Paul this week. That club will be operating through Sept. 4. There's still no Catch A Rising Star in evidence down here, despite the fact that they brag about a Laughlin location on their website. Hmmm... Berri Lee's Comedy Club (the one where we're working) will cease operations after next week's shows-- a victim of a decision to renovate the Bermuda Club. (Early on Tuesday, we had the crap scared out of us when the guy behind the bar at the Bermuda told us that "the comics have been discontinued... just got the memo today." Huh? Wha?! Closer inspection of the memo revealed that the cutoff was August 14! Dodged that bullet!)

Traci is back at the Sahara aagain on Monday for the Divas of Comedy show, then we report for duty at the Sands in Reno on the 11th. We'll be there through Sunday. Then it's back to Vegas one more time (Traci will do one more Divas show on the 16th). We're trying to squeeze an L.A. trip in on the 17th and 18th before heading to a two-night engagement in Sierra Vista, AZ. We'll keep you posted on that.

Above are Carla Rea, Kathleen Dunbar and Traci Skene backstage at the Divas of Comedy Show at the Sahara in Las Vegas, minutes before showtime on Monday night, Aug.2, 2004! Tomorrow, we head to Laughlin. Tonight, we might hit the strip, surprise some comics and have a couple 75-cent Labatt Blues over at the Slots O Fun! Stay tuned.

Who is in town? Bobby Lee, Jim Connolly (we assume that's James P. Connolly!), and Kenny Kane are at Improv at Harrah's. Diane Ford, Shayma Tash and Tom Clark are at the Riviera. Kevin Knox, Eric Lyden and Chris Coccia are at the Comedy Stop at the Trop. While the listing for Sandy Hackett's Comedy Club at the Greek Isles doesn't list any specific comcis, it does promise "great creative comedy and funmaking." Comics whose names and faces appear on billboards around town (who are either headlining permanently or in limited runs) are George Wallace (Flamingo), David Brenner (Westin), George Carlin (MGM Grand), Amazing Johnathan (Riviera), Rita Rudner (New York, New York) and oodles of comedy magicians and comedy hypnotists, as always.

"Royking kan redusere blodgjennomstromminga og fore til impotens"
--Warning on the back of a pack of Petteroe's Original cigarettes, Norway's finest smokes, found while waiting for an elevator.

From what we can tell, "royking" means smoking and "impotens," well, that's the same in any language! Vegas seems to be packed this week with a ton of what we usta call in the old days, "foreigners." The forecast for the upcoming week is temps of 100 degrees or better and humidity in the 50 per cent range... it's a dry heat, and it must be what is attracting all these folks from Europe... that and all this gambling. On our USAirways flight outta Philly, there were a bunch of people from Manchester (in England) whom, we assumed, were in the States to support their beloved Manchester United soccer team touring North America.

Our new favorite name is the one we found on the back of a lost Club Sahara card-- Ashkon Batmanghelich!

We're taking off tonight for Vegas, landing at McCarran about 11PM PDT. And over the next 27 days, we'll be gigging in Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Reno, Laughlin and AZ. We're planning on two separate forays into Los Angeles (and we're hoping the folks at NBC don't change the L.C.S. finale to Thursday), and, as always, we'll upload some pics and text on our journey. Regular blogging will continue throughout our trip, so tune in regularly.

Ann Oldenburg, writing for Gannett News Service, says:

Sitcoms may be in a sorry state these days, but stand-up on TV is seeing a groundswell.

What follows is an enumeration of all the signs that "stand-up and sketch clearly are seeing a resurgence," touching on all the phenomena that we've been highlighting on this very website over the past few months. Read the whole article.

Of course, we don't agree with her reflexive "sitcom is suffering" sentiment, but for the past five years, we've been telling anyone with ears that standup is experiencing a resurgence. Good to see Ms. Oldenburg scrambling onboard. We will not take this as a signal that we can let up. We're going to turn up the heat on the media ever more. And, of course, we'll keep you informed whenever the media sees fit to write about standup-- in a good way or a bad way.