Ya gotta love the names of some of the acts at this year's NZICF:

Danny Bhoy, Michele A'Court, Cal Wilson, Dai Henwood, Fung Ku, Four Hangis and a Tangi, Gamarjobat, The Improv Bandits, Jeremy Corbett, Jo Randerson, Milos Wake, MC Hot Pink, Raybon Kan, Rhys Darby, The Topp Twins, The Umbilical Brothers, Zoohaha, I Love David Hasselhoff, Brendhan Lovegrove and Jeremy Elwood.

And you gotta love the amount of ink that the New Zealand Herald is spilling on it. The above was taken from an NZH piece on British comic Jeff Green.

New Zealand Herald writer Scott Kara turned in a whopping article on the NZICF, going on now through May 21. He says, "Even though the comedy festival is in its 12th year there is still the stigma that because it's New Zealand it isn't any good. It used to be the same with local music. Remember?"

Kiwi comic Michele A'Court is fired up and not taking it any more:

Ask A'Court about that stigma and she will say it's well and truly alive. "It's always fascinating to see at the Melbourne and Edinburgh festivals that comedians are revered and treasured. But here, for a while, there were rumours that standup comedians were prohibited from auditioning for TV comedies because obviously they were standups so they were s***. That's exactly the opposite of what happens overseas."

And Festival Director Hillary McMillan says:

"New Zealanders have the mentality that if it's on TV then it's okay, or it's acceptable. And because there isn't a lot of New Zealand comedy on TV they have this cringe factor about it. But, when people go out and see it [live] they're actually surprised that it's really good."

Hmmm... sounds like comedians on the other side of the planet have similar problems to those of U.S. comics. Read the whole thing for a fascinating look into a whole other comedy world!

At 9 PM EDT, on Friday, on XM channel 151, they'll be sat-casting The Readers Digest Joke-Telling Contest. Wholesome family fun for a good cause-- Host Marlo Thomas (daughter of late comedian Danny Thomas) is taking up daddy's cause, the St. Jude's Childrens Research Hospital. Featured comics include Eddie Brill, Greg Giraldo, Rich Hall and Wendy Leibman and it all takes place at Gotham in NYC.

Nicki Gostin interviews Bob Saget and it's available via msnbc.com:

What do you find funny?

For me it's very funny to look the way I look which is very clean-cut and come out with the most immature, stupidest stuff. I used to be 9 and now I’m 15. I laugh at anything that has to do with toilets, sex. I'll just do one dick joke after the other. I do a lot of testicle jokes too. No. I do a lot of what’s going on in the world. As crazy as this sounds I like to entertain people. When I do standup now they're so happy and the applause is bigger at the end than at the beginning. It took me years to get that.

Later on in the interview, when he's asked about how he sees his career, Saget rather disingenuously says, "I feel like this is chapter 2. My standup is a whole new thing." Although he wasn't a household name prior to his America's Funniest Videos and Full House fame, he still had a reputation as a professional (and darkly funny) standup comic. (Thanks to reader Stuart McAllister for tipping us off to this piece!)

Sure, it's a two-week-old story, but we stumbled across this item in the April 15 Norm! column (he's the guy with the eyepatch in the Las Vegas Review-Journal).

The Amazing Johnathan is jumping from the Riviera to the Sahara because of a 100 percent rent increase.

He announced the move in an e-mail to the Riviera, saying his final show will be April 20. He plans to open his 10 p.m. show at the Sahara on May 6.

He blamed his landlord Norbert Aleman, the producer of "Crazy Girls" and "An Evening at La Cage," for the breakup.[...]

Aleman, reached by telephone, said he agreed to a one-year deal with Johnathan's rep in January. However, Johnathan came back and wanted a new deal with a different rep. "He made a deal and a deal's a deal," Aleman said. "Nothing personal, but he's crazy."

Note to Aleman: He's not crazy, he's Amazing! Some people.

Interesting, though, Mr. Johnathan's resilience and tenacity. Four-walling is not for the faint of heart. And this is his third such deal in just a couple of years!

If anybody is heading to Calgary (whose FunnyFest starts tomorrow) or Montreal or Winnipeg for their comedy festivals, and you're wondering what you might need to get into or get out of Canada, click here. (Be advised that the rules change on New Years Eve and get tighter and tighter for the following two New Years Eve's.) For now, however, getting into Canada (and back into the U.S.) is about as easy/hard as it's always been. From the website of the Canada Border Services Agency:

When you enter Canada, a customs officer may ask to see your passport and a valid visa, if one is necessary. If you are a citizen of the United States, you do not need a passport to enter Canada. However, you should carry proof of your citizenship, such as a birth certificate, certificate of citizenship or naturalization, as well as a photo ID. If you are a permanent resident of the U.S, you should bring your Permanent Resident Card (i.e., green card) with you.

NOTE: We take no responsibility for anyone goofing up and not getting in (or getting out)! Double check everything online or call your local travel agent! And, if you want to see how many Canadian dollars your US buck will buy, click here for the handy dandy Universal Currency Converter.

If an alien were to drop down on the planet and he wanted an explanation of the television show called Seinfeld, we'd give him the link to this article in something called Juice News Daily.

Another violation of the fiction convention of isolating characters from the actors playing them, and separating the characters' world from the actors' and audience's world, was a story arc that concerned the characters' roles in promoting a television sitcom series named Jerry. Jerry was much like Seinfeld in that Seinfeld played himself, and that the show was "about nothing". Jerry was launched in the 1993 season premiere of Seinfeld, in an episode titled "The Pilot". This story arc, along with other examples of self-reference, have led many critics to point out the postmodern nature of the show.

Although we find most musings on the departed "sitcom about nothing," to be soporific and derivative, this one made some worthwhile points. (And we stumbled across a question for the ages: If Seinfeld was the sitcom about nothing, what, exactly, was I Love Lucy about?)

From the Associated Press:

Mayor Michael Bloomberg tried to get a promise from Conan O'Brien on Tuesday to bring the Tonight show back to New York when he takes over as host from Jay Leno in 2009.

"It's not up to me, I work for the man. If he says 'yeah,' we're fine. So we'll talk," O'Brien told Bloomberg, who appeared on his current NBC show, Late Night with Conan O'Brien.

The Tonight show, with Johnny Carson as its host, moved from Rockefeller Center to Burbank, Calif., in 1972.

NBC announced last fall that O'Brien will succeed Leno.

The implications are profound.

From AP:

George Lopez has undergone a kidney transplant with an organ donated by his wife. George and Ann Lopez "are resting comfortably in their Los Angeles home and are both expected to make a full recovery," according to a statement released Monday by a publicist for the actor-comedian.

The operation occurred last week at an undisclosed hospital in Los Angeles. Lopez, star of the ABC comedy George Lopez, had a genetic condition that caused kidney deterioration, the release said.

From NBC 4 in Los Angeles:

Phyllis Diller was recuperating at a local hospital Monday after undergoing surgery over the weekend to repair small breaks in her neck, the 87-year-old entertainer's manager said.

"She's resting comfortably," Milt Suchin said of Diller. "She's in great spirits. Her line on Saturday morning as they were wheeling her into prep, she said (to the doctor), 'You haven't been drinking, have you?' "

They're still out there, the HellGigAmerica boys. And they're continuing to faithfully post updates (hit "Road Updates") on their HellBlog. There's this, from Chuck Savage:

Frank Santorelli is one funny mutha fucker. i learned alot watching him last night. melvin george II, in hartford the night before was the same way. and after seeing 2 headliners like that, i started having a different kind of respect for east coast comedy. it's like they have a reverence for a style of stand up that dates back to before folks in my part of the country HAD stand up comedy. tommy talked about it too, but...command of the stage and the moment.

Interesting. We've always been huge Santorelli fans. And it was our extreme pleasure to share many bills with Melvin in the 90s! What struck us about this post was that there might have been a stark, recognizable genre known as "East Coast Comedy." From what we can discern, it encompasses a respect for "The Joke," a low priority on being revealing or poignant and a premium placed on crowd control and timing (and less of a dependence on what has come to be labelled as "energy"). We got to thinking about it and it handily describes what has come to be known as "The 80s Comic."

We recently taught a workshop and we noticed that the comics (many of whom were in their first year or two) were loath to simply tell a joke. (We're not talking street joke here, we're saying that they were reluctant-- embarassed, maybe-- to be seen as doing anything that sounded vaguely like a joke. Like a setup-and-a-punchline joke that might tip the audience off that they were... comedians. They were furiously laboring to create the impression that what they were engaging in was conversational, was authentic, was of their essence.

In the pages of this magazine, Dan French wrote a splendid piece sometime back about how to craft the ulitmate Los Angeles showcase set. (Thus, the title, "Your Showcase Set.")

Standups horribly misunderstand showcases. We think they are about material, and being clever, and killing the audience. I have seen so many showcases where standups who are usually funny eat it horribly. They eat it because they expect the audience to do its share. Standups expect the audience to bring energy to the moment instead of expecting to have to supply all the energy themselves. They expect the audience to laugh.

We recall being stunned by the column at the time. When we lived in L.A., we observed none of what Mr. French described, but what he said made all the sense in the world. In the seven years since our departure from L.A. (the column appeared in our June,2000 issue-- we fled Hollywood in '93), the rules of Los Angeles comedy (or "West Coast Comedy") had changed quickly and profoundly it seemed.

In 2005, we theorize that the influence of The Los Angeles Showcase (and all that goes with it) has so affected a generation of comics that folks like Santorelli and George stand out almost as a separate comedic species and, as we observed in our seminar, even up-and-comers on the East Coast of America are inclined to adopt west coast comedy sensibilities.

Let's hope that the standup equivalent of the East Coast/West Coast rap war doesn't erupt after the next comedy awards ceremony!

Click on the banner at the top of this page and you'll be taken to the Just For Laughs Festival's Tourism Package Shopping page! The folks at JFL offer 2-, 3- and 4-night packages, as well as weeklong deals and special VIP Gala and Prestige packages. (We plan on being in Montreal July 20-24 for our seventh Just For Laughs!)

You can choose packages that offer tickets to JFL events, complimentary drinks, Gala tickets, dinner, even a free stuffed JFL mascot (He's the toothy red or green guy with the big honker)!

And, if you stress that you arrived at the JFL Tourism site because you saw the advertisement on SHECKYmagazine.com, you'll receive a 10 per cent discount (or a free VHS, "50-minute VHS videotape of the best moments of the first series of Just For Laughs Gags. These non-verbal hidden camera gags on the street, in shopping malls, all around town and in the countryside are for all ages and funnybones alike!").

We know that a lot of our readers are dedicated standup comedy fans who have been fascinated by SHECKYmagazine's blow-by-blow accounts of the world's largest comedy festival-- Maybe 2005 is the year you'll actually smash open that piggy bank and buy a JFL Tourism package and join us at the Delta Bar for a cocktail alongside some of your comedy idols! (And, if you see SHECKYmagazine.com personnel there come up and say "Hey!")

Montreal seems like it's far away, but it's only a day's drive for most of the folks on the Eastern Seaboard! And Montreal's airport (Dorval) is serviced by most major U.S. airlines! What are you waiting for? There's nothing like Montreal in the middle of July-- especially when it's crawling with some of the biggest stars of standup, TV and movies! Click now!

Somebody bought Johnny's old microphone.

An anonymous bidder Friday snatched a piece of TV history, offering $50,787 for the microphone that sat prominently on the desk of late-night king Johnny Carson until the 1980s. The offer was about twice that expected at auction.

The label on the 10-pound Shure model SM33 ribbon microphone bluntly declares: "Johnny's Mic... Not Ed's... Not Fred's" — a reference to announcer Ed McMahon and producer Fred DeCordova.

The auction house, Heritage Galleries, plans to auction off Johnny's old desk as well.

Phyllis Diller is in the hospital. She's 87. She's in the hospital. And, by God, if we knew which one, we'd publish the address so you could all send flowers (which, by the way, you all should)! And we are hoping for a full recovery... because she's Phyllis Diller, that's why! Reports E Online:

The 87-year-old funnylady remains hospitalized in Los Angeles after tumbling out of bed in her Brentwood home and injuring her head and neck.

"She has a big bruise on her forehead," manager Milt Suchin tells the Associated Press. "I think she blacked out...She just awoke and a housekeeper came in and found her on the floor."

Note: She's reached the status of "funnylady." That isn't even a word in the dictionary! She's a comic in her 80's-- we are all just comics from the 80's... She deserves our utmost respect! (You'll forgive us if we're a little touchy about la Diller-- We just suffered through a week of Caroline Rhea jabbering on XMRadio promo spots about how her HBO special might "strike a blow for female comics.")

Read the whole thing HERE.

We were down for about an hour. Seems we exceeded our bandwidth. We can think of worse problems to have. Over the past three weeks, we've broken all existing records for traffic. A confluence of events, some sad (Mitch's death), some good (a hit in USAToday), have caused a surge in awareness of the magazine and a concommitant uptick in the traffic. And since the USAToday hit, other newspapers have picked up the story and run it in their publications, in whole or in part, causing smaller wavelets of traffic. (We welcome all the new visitors and hope that you bookmark us and return often!) We're back up now. So, have at it.

The Drunk in Public tour is in Happy Valley.Ron White sat down with the Centre Daily Times for an interview:

CDT: What does it take to be a professional comic?

White: I guess you would have to absolutely love it because I don't know what momentum carried me through. I mean, I am glad I don't have to do it again, because part of it has to be pure ignorance that keeps you going.

Great comic, great interview.

According to the Palm Beach New Times article:

Fortunately for his fans, though, the Fort Lauderdale date will be the fourth stop on "Dave Attell: The Insomniac Tour." The 35-city tour eventually concludes with shows in Las Vegas, as Attell and opening-act Sean Rouse meet up with fellow comics Dane Cook, Greg Giraldo, and Doug Stanhope, all scheduled to be turned into a feature-length concert film debuting on Comedy Central in October. Until then, Attell and Rouse will travel from city to city on a specially outfitted Insomniac tour bus. "It kind of reminds me of a special-needs bus -- just pimped up," Attell says.

Could it be the best double bill out there?

We know it's an old article, but it's fascinating nonetheless. It's a Las Vegas Weekly piece, that we spotted when we were in Sin City last summer, on the Vegas business trend of four-walling.

...Back in the heyday of Buddy Hackett and Don Rickles, the casinos hired the comics. Wallace, however, essentially rents the theater from the Flamingo and promotes his own show. This makes him a small-business owner.

"I am the boss," he says. "It isn't just the marketing. Everyone works for me. My manager works for me. You got the sound guy working for you, the light guy working for you, the stage guys work for you, you got three assistants down there and wardrobe."

There has never been a better article written on comedy and business, particularly marketing.

Though comics dominated the Strip in the '60s and '70s, these days, in addition to Wallace there are only a few permanent showroom stand-ups left in Vegas: Rita Rudner at New York-New York and David Brenner at the Westin among them. Wallace is the first to admit that, as well as being unbelievably funny, he is on this list in part because he is a very experienced marketer. Wallace majored in advertising and marketing and worked full-time in sales before quitting to take a job writing for The Redd Foxx Show.

"Redd Foxx was telling my jokes, and he was getting great laughs. But it seemed like he wasn't doing them right." Within a year, Wallace moved into stand-up. From the start, Wallace found sales and comedy similar. "In advertising I had to sell space, whereas in comedy I have to sell myself. It's all the same business: making things happen."

Read the rest here

Just got an unusual email from Nick Debrey, a comic whom we had the pleasure of working with at last year's Calgary FunnyFest. Nick catches everybody up on his life before the big finish:

While performing regularly by night at Yuk Yuk's in Toronto, I toiled by day as a Starbucks barista to pay my rent. From grinding beans I somehow managed to land a job as a school teacher (yeah, it sounds crazy but it's true). So, despite my lack of a B.Ed or teaching experience I now teach French part-time to grade 6, 7 and 8 students. My life is roller coaster hey!?!?

You ain't seen nothin' yet. Apparently, Debrey is now headed to Calcutta. (That's right the seething, crowded impoverished metropolis on the Indian subcontinent Calcutta.) For the purpose of "working with Mother Teresa's Sisters of Charity. They'll be having me work at the Ghandi Welfare Centre teaching math and English to orphaned street kids."

Being somewhat acquainted with Debrey's sense of humor, we naturally thought it might be a joke, but then we check out his blog, and, from all indications he's headed to India for two months to teach orphans. And he's shaving his head soon and donating the hair to kids who need it because they're gravely ill and they've lost all theirs. Of course, all this altruism costs money, so feel free to follow the links on his blog to the places where you can donate money. He's not quite a third of the way to the $3,500 needed to get to India this summer.

Folks can also send a check or m.o. to:

Freedomize
2255b Queen St. E., Suite 141
Toronto, ON M4E 1G3

and, says Nick, "please write "Nick Debrey" and "India trip" in the memo section."

We just stumbled across this, after receiving an email that's making the rounds:

Important News To All Our Fellow Comedians

We have recently come across an e-mail that we refer to as Comedy Rape. It seems that a resort with tons of money and an agent using the "this is a great vacation trick " is trying to get Professional Comedians to work for FREE. If this comes to pass other resorts will want to take advantage of this and the results as you know would be disastrous. This is the last straw!!!!

This is the opening salvo from a website that promises to rally all comedians for the purpose of starting a union and putting an end to such dastardly "tricks" as the one described above.

Turns out the domain name is owned by a comic who's been in the business for two decades plus. Last time we ran into him, February 7 to be exact, we were working at a resort in the Poconos, that mini-Catskills about two hours north of Philadelphia. (Full disclosure: That gig in the Poconos paid pretty crappy money and often provided the comic with a 1-1/2 star room-- but, hey, it was a Monday night, so I took it!)

At the time, he too was regularly working the Poconos, and he was soliciting press kits and videos from comics for, according to him, the purpose of starting a booking agency.

Now, he's bought a domain name that hosts a website that trashes bookers, owners and agents and calls for a union.

"If you think that these clubs, agents and bookers are not talking to each other about ways to set prices, well guess again...Remember they are only in it for THE MONEY!!!"

To which we reply: Well, DUH!

The site itself is totally anonymous-- no indication of who the man is behind the curtain. But, it's always been easy to find out who owns what when it comes to domain names. The website goes on to promise more things like a forum and a signup and lots more exclamation points and allusions to rape!!!!! (Actually, we threw that last part in... forgive us, we got all caught up-- it's all those exclamation points!!!!!)

Comedian Buzz Nutley has produced a comedy tour. He has recruited Jimmy Brogan, Cathy Ladman and Brad Upton to accompany him on some or all of the tour which, he says...

...will greatly appeal to his fellow mid-lifers, as well as those who are approaching that point in their lives: "people who, like me, are experiencing the challenges of work, love, parenthood, and more, and trying to balance it all on a day-to-day basis. We live in the richest nation on earth, yet we probably worry about more things than anyone else."

That's it, in a Nutley-shell. They're starting out with a string of dates around Nutley's native Pittsburgh, but the tour hopes to book up the entire nation. Check out their website.

According to a Reuters report, NBC President Jeff Zucker said "entering the generally opinionated world of blogs might be one way television networks could keep their grip on viewers who increasingly use the Internet for news."

"I don't know why Brian Williams isn't blogging right now," Zucker said of the anchor of NBC's top-rated evening news program who took the helm after veteran journalist Tom Brokaw stepped down in December. "We should be looking for a more interactive component ... and be experimenting more."

To paraphrase Robert Blake from his Barbara Walters interview, "Where has Jeff Zucker been for the last two years?" He's just getting around to exploring blogs and interactivity now? Glug, glug, glug... He's also telling the assembled that he wants Katie Couric to blog as well. (On the same day that Drudge is reporting that Today fired their executive producer and that Couric is grumpy about having to wake up early. How long before that blog of Katie's is written by an intern? Within days, it'd be about as genuine as that autographed 8 X 10 that NBC's publicity department spits out for Couric's fans.)

As bloggers, we know exactly why Brian Williams isn't blogging right now-- Blogging takes a lot of time and commitment. And, if a blog doesn't have a little more than a whiff of authenticity and personal attitude, it's about as must-read as a press release. Of course, this all has nothing to do with standup (but everything to do with blogging)... and, as we run a blog (and enjoy making fun of television executives on occasion), we feel justified in including the above observations in a blog about standup.

One line jumped out at us from the Borgata press release announcing their teaming with Electric Factory Concerts and their spring and summer lineup:

In a precedent-setting move, Borgata will make a year-round commitment to hosting the biggest comedic and musical performances in today's contemporary scene.

The word "comedic" comes before "musical." It's the little things.

The Electric Factory people started out humbly enough in Philadelphia with a small venue that hosted the hottest rock acts of that era (the late-60's, specializing in bands like the Chambers Brothers and Big Brother and the Holding Company) in a pychedelically-painted, free-standing building just off the center of the city. They're now the kind of behemoth that causes Eddie Vedder to lose sleep at night. It's significant that they stress comedy so much in their Borgata venture. This spring and summer, they'll be responsible for bringing Dennis Miller, Dave Chapelle, Dom Irrera, Ray Romano, Dave Attell and Wayne Brady to audiences that draw from the entire Eastern seaboard and present them in a state-of-the-art venue.

A Cox News Service story on comedian Paul Zass and his bipolarity manages to avoid cliche and maudlin sentimentality:

...People who go into a doctor's office for psychiatric ills come out with "crazy" stamped on their foreheads. Even as a professional comedian, in that rare job where loony and manic are complements, his advisers told him a mental diagnosis would end his career.

"What kills a lot of people with mental illness is the stigma surrounding it," said Jones, a Cincinnati resident who has done standup comedy for 17 years under the stage name Paul Zass. "They won't go and get help because they know once you're diagnosed, you're labeled as crazy for the rest of your life."

Of course, the most famous comedian with the disorder is Shecky Greene-- He always makes those "Famous people with Bipolar Disorder" lists that are all over the internet.

We had nearly 1,000 emails in our inbox. Never a good thing. Among those emails were numerous requests from comics to include their websites among those on our Comics' Websites page and requests from clubs wishing to be included in our Club List.

We hope we didn't leave anyone out or hit "delete" and accidentally turf any emails. If we did, please feel free to jiggle us and send another email along letting us know that we goofed.

Check out our Resource page, that has, in addition to links to our clublist and comics' websites list, an explanation of the Comics' F.A.Q. and how it all got started (and, of course, a link to it).

The followup to the Edmonton Journal story clears up a few matters.

Dick says he's not surprised some people hated the show, but he insists he got plenty of positive feedback from patrons. The club was sold out for both Friday shows, he says, and the room didn't empty while he was on stage.

"Nobody left, and if a couple of people complained, good. Once again, I did my job.

"I actually had a really, really, really great time, and I was completely shocked that they cancelled the shows, because I thought they went really good and I got a good response. I hung out with, like, 30 people after the show who ... loved it.

"People come and they expect whichever Andy Dick they're plugged into. If you're plugged into the Less Than Perfect ABC/Disney Andy Dick, that's what you're going to expect. But if you know any of my live stuff or you saw the Andy Dick Show or you've been online and seen some of my more grotesque or weird or provocative stuff, then you're going to expect that. It is impossible to please everyone."

We can't get the image of his penis wrapped around his wrist out of our heads.

Every Thursday, 5 to 6 PM PT, on KZSC 88.1 FM in Santa Cruz (and streaming live at www.kzsc.org and also podcasting) is "The Sound of Young America," hosted by Jesse Thorn, who calls himself "America's Radio Sweetheart."

We make note of it because Mr. Thorn has gained a reputation and gathered listenership by insisting on interviewing a healthy number of standup comics on his show-- Dave Attell, Todd Barry, Doug Benson, to name a few.

Has anyone ever heard a comedian not be a good interview? (That there is your rhetorical question.) We'll make a Post-It and try to listen in on Thursday.

The Washington Times is reporting that Tom Hanks, Steve Martin, Will Ferrell, Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller and Ray Romano will headline what producers describe as "an evening of comedy, music and message to raise awareness of issues concerning the environment"

They're calling it "Earth to America" and it'll be taped Nov. 17 during The Comedy Festival at Caesars.

"Comedy can be a very powerful tool to entertain and to educate," said (Producer Laurie) David, "and that is the goal for 'Earth to America.' "

Darn near anything can be a "powerful tool to entertain and educate." But why pick on comedy? Can't comedy just be to make people laugh? Did anyone really enjoy any of those Comic Relief specials? On a standup comedy level? Do they really hafta piggyback an issue (or a boatload of issues) on top of a comedy show?

We're of the mind that the education factor drags the entertainment factor way down. Unless Penn & Teller are the ones doing the educating-- their Bullshit series was quite entertaining and informative, especially the one on what a hoax recycling is. (Better not let those two near the building when they tape this show!)

We just got written up in the Courier-Post, the Gannett publication that rightfully calls itself "South Jersey's Largest Newspaper." A short interview, in the South Jersey Living section. (The male half of the staff delivered the C-P as a kid!)

And, although Skene's name is misspelled "S-k-e-e-n-e,"-- one too many "e's," and it perpetuates the vicious lie that Skene has not performed in all 50 states (she has been a member of the 50-State Club for about 3 years now! See her bio for proof.), it's a nice clip. (And McKim's mother, a subscriber to the C-P, will no doubt be inundated with calls-- at least a half-dozen-- from area friends.) See the clip HERE.

We were down for a few hours last night, starting just after 9PM EDT...We figure it was all those people filing their tax returns electronically. Seems logical: Late at night, April 15, filing over the WWW's never been more popular. We couldn't even access My Yahoo!

However, we are (obviously) back up again!

According to the press release, this year's version will take place October 3-9, 2005.

Back again, in its 3rd year, The NYC Underground Comedy Festival is the largest in the country with over 100 events in all five boroughs.

We'll bring you further details as they become available. Or you could bookmark nycundergroundcomedy.com and hit them as well.

Just got an email from friend of SHECKYmagazine.com Larry-bob telling us of the existence of HBO's website touting their recently-announced Las Vegas-situated fest in Noveber. Hit HERE to read all about it. (Oooh! Those HBO folks have done two subtle and significant things: They have named their festival "T.C.F.," short for The Comedy Festival, which leaves no doubt that they plan to supplant that little confab in Montreal as the premiere comedy festival in the English-speaking world. Secondly, they managed to snag the URL http://www.thecomedyfestival.com, which means they're serious!)

Also in that Larry-bob email was a link to his list of information on comedy festivals, purported to be exhaustive (and we believe him... and if we find anything missing, we'll send it along to him)! Click HERE to be taken to Larry-bob's fest info list. Note: Larry-bob, who runs qcomedy.com, has also included helpful asterisks, which denote those fests that are, for lack of a better term, queer-friendly! (Which means, "that festival has included queer comedians in the past" and that no asterisk, merely means that qcomedy is not certain!)

Love that Larry-bob! (Say, wasn't that a series from the early 60's? Starring Bob Cummings?)

...but for all the unexpected reasons!

We were ready to hate it. Instead, it's just... dull and stupid.

As we read it, we began to wonder if it wasn't written by Alexander Wolcott! Talk about your L-7! If someone had told us it was a Time or Newsweek piece from, say, 1993 or so, we'd believe it. It was very, "In my day..." and it had a lot of lamenting about a bygone era-- with a stunning lack of awareness of the present-day comedy scene! We thought VF had a discerning readership. Turns out it's Tiger Beat for people with post-graduate degrees.

The entire column was Vanity Square.

The only good thing about it was that it quoted from Franklyn Ajaye's "Comic Insights," Gerald Nachman's "Seriously Funny" and Larry Wylde's "Great Comedians Talk About Comedy." It made and remade points that have been debunked time and again right here in the pages of SHECKYmagazine.com. Perhaps Mr. Wolcott should think about getting internet access!

And the whole thing was doubly and triply odd when you consider that this article hit the stands hours after the death of Mitch Hedberg. Hedberg's existence, his material, his legion of fans, his rock star status-- all of it argued eloquently against nearly every insipid point made in this column.

It's been a bad week for Brad Trackman.

First, some guy shows up at a comedy club, heckling the comics and claiming to be Brad Trackman's father. (And threatens to return at the end of the month!)

Then, someone claiming to be Brad Trackman has left seven or eight messages on the SHECKYmagazine.com voicemail threatening to injure Editor Brian McKim! (And sent along some frothing-at-the-mouth emails!) Following is a transcript of one of those voicemails:

Phone Message
Time: 12:43 PM Date: April 12, 2005

Hey, Brian, this is Brad Trackman. I just received your email. Uh, what's the deal with you not being man enough to give me a call? Dude, it's "what you know to be true?" It wasn't my fucking father, you fucking piece of shit. I mean, come on. Dude, I cannot wait to run into you...in person...okay? Be a man. Call me on the phone. I have your address where you live, too. And I'm very familiar with New Jersey. I'll make a point... of, uh... of running into you. Real soon.

What is your problem dude? I don't even know you. You're some fucking hack who needs to write a fucking publication... Any comedian doesn't need to have a magazine like this in the first place... I talked to Tony Comacho at Rascals. He says he doesn't even book you because you're such a terrible comedian. What is going on dude? What is this personal attack against me? I want a retraction...all right? What the fuck?! He's not my father! Uh, dude I am pissed. I cannot wait to get you."

USA Today called us "Charming, sincere and helpful!"

Would you call him back? (McKim says, "You should hear the one where he calls me a 'little fagot!'")

It would appear that the website, Jobs for Comics, has expired. We tried hitting the bookmark and got the ol' "...could not be found. Please check the name and try again." message. (The internet equivalent of "We're sorry, that number is no longer in service.")

But, never a publication to just sit around and do nothing when a perfectly good resource dies an unremarked and anonymous death, we have decided to do something about it. We're going to put up a posting called "PAID GIGS" which will serve as a slimmer, streamlined version of Jobs for Comics. Here's how it will work (we hope): We will encourage anyone who has a paid gig for a standup comic in America or Canada to hit the "Comments" button at the very bottom of the posting. Once there, we ask that the booker briefly lists the following:

Location of the gig

$$$ for the gig

How much time the comic's asked to do

Address to send tape/press kit (if needed)

email address

Restrictions are as follows:

No bringer shows

No barker shows

No open mikes

It's called "Paid gigs" for a reason. Also, it's not called, "Here is my philosophy on what makes a great (booker/comedian/lineup)-- Just list the fucking gig. Are we square? Good.

It will be free to the bookers. We hope they won't abuse it. If the whole thing turns to shit, we'll take it down so fast, it'll make your head spin. And, if there's wind whistling through it after a few days and no one bothers to post on it, it will come down-- again, so fast it will make your head spin (along with a post-mortem, complete with speculation as to why it didn't work).

As the posting slides down the front page, we'll put a link in the upper left-hand corner that says, "Paid Gigs" which, when clicked, will take you to the posting page where you'll be able to (if you're a comic), read the postings or (if you're a booker) post a gig.

See the PAID GIGS posting below!

We ask that ONLY BOOKERS POST here. Your comments will be read by hundreds (thousands?) of comics. Be brief. List ONLY the following:

Location of the gig (city, state/province)

$$$ for the gig

How much time the comic(s) is/are expected to do

You email address

NOTE: No bringer shows, no barker shows, no open mikes, no auditions, no offers of "exposure!" Please keep it brief. No philosophy on what you think makes a good comic or a great show. (And no complaining if nobody responds-- It's free, after all.)

DISCLAIMER: We take no responsibility for unscrupulous business practices of anyone who might post a gig here. We are not benefitting from the postings via PAID GIGS. This service is offered free to anyone seeking to book a professional comic. You're all big boys and girls. Any contract you might enter into via this posting is done so of your own free will and we will not be held responsible if the whole thing turns to shit.

Hit "comments" and off you go!

Georg Szalai, writing in the Hollywood Reporter:

Industry talk about a possible second comedy festival organized by HBO has been around for a long time, and in the fall it finally will become reality.

...HBO said Monday that it has teamed up in a joint venture with live-event
producer AEG Live to hold the Comedy Festival -- which is set to
attract the broader public -- in Las Vegas from Nov. 17-20.

Of course, this comes as no surprise to SHECKYmagazine.com readers. We linked to articles alluding to this possibility way back on Feb. 14, thanks to a nice spot by Tommy James (See that posting ("A second Aspen in Vegas? Huh? Wha?") here. (It also gives us a deluxe opportunity to quote ourselves, quoting ourselves!! Talk about your self-referential routines!):

A deluxe opportunity to quote ourselves again! On Aspen's recent effort to seek out comics who lacked management or representation:

Might this be in response to a widespread perception among those of us in the comedy biz that USCAF is a "locked game" that merely serves as a ski holiday for Hollywood fatcats (and their clients)?

Oh, yeah. You can bet that we're taking full credit for this move!

We just got an email today from Brad Trackman regarding the recent bizarre incident at Rascals this past weekend:

Hi Brian,

My friend just told me about your recent article covering Rascals in Cherry Hill. First and foremost that was NOT my father. I have no idea who that idiot was but I can assure you he was no relation of mine.

My father is a class act who would never heckle a comedian or disrupt a show. He doesn't smoke or drink for that matter either.

I would appreciate a retraction and apology to my father in your next article. I would also appreciate if you could give me a call at (phone number withheld).

Best,
Brad
bradtrackman.com

Most bizarre. There's a crazed fan who bears a spooky resemblance to you, claiming to be your pop. And he likes to heckle comedians. (And he seems to be a Larry the Cable Guy fan... but then again, these days, who isn't?) But we never said he was an idiot-- that was your embellishment.

And, for the record, we never said he was drinking. Our readers might have inferred as much-- like when we said that "Traci hammers him a little more, much to the delight of the predominantly sober audience." (Which, by the way, has been removed from the original posting.) But we never outright said that he was drinking. (And, for all we know, he hadn't had so much as a drop-- the worst hecklers we've ever experienced were, curiously and maddeningly, clearheaded and all too alert!) And, if it means anything, we did clearly imply that Brian's 88-year-old mother drinks-- and with gusto! (And, although some don't consider it gambling, we also stated rather baldly that she likes to play the lottery!)

We're still mystified as to why anyone would be masquerading as Brad Trackman's father... as opposed to say, masquerading as David Brenner's father or Jerry Seinfeld's old man. But we caution Brad that, when our heckler friend was asked if he knew that Brad Trackman was scheduled to appear there later this month, he said, "Hell yes I know! And I'm going to be here!" (Cue the spooky music!)

We've heard from two different sources that James Wolcott has condescended long enough to write about standup comedy. We were over a friend's house on Sunday-- a friend who actually subscribes (which, we suppose would answer our own question posed in the title of this post)-- but we forgot to read it, and the local library only has the April issue of VF. Which means that, as distasteful as it may be, we might have to shell out the $15 or $20 and actually buy a copy of Vanity Fair. (Yeah, we know... we're exaggerating on the price.) In the meantime, people are emailing us and telling us we gotta read this piece, entitled "Wit's End." The blurb on their site goes:

The comatose state of stand-up comedy was brought into high relief by the death of Johnny Carson, who broke in a generation of comics on The Tonight Show. Hacking through the kudzu of cheesy clubs and self-referential routines, James Wolcott can't find the edge of laughter.

Cheesy clubs? "self-referential routines?" (Note to Mr. Wolcott: Who the hell else are we going to reference?) Don't you just love it when the intellectuals go all Baby Huey on standup? This is just the blurb and Mr. Fancy Pants already has his claws out! We can tell that we're not going to like it. But, unlike ol' Thurston Howell the Turd here, we're going to keep an open mind.

Our own Bonnie McFarlane is taping her HBO special at the Skirball Center for Performing Arts. Readers of SHECKYmagazine.com know Bonnie from her wildly popular Seminude Revue columns. Those of you who don't read our magazine may know Bonnie from her brief but impactful run on NBC's Last Comic Standing (Season II). Bonnie sends along the following:

If you are interested in being part of these exclusive free, live television events - YOU MUST LIVE IN THE NEW YORK CITY AREA AND YOU MUST BE 18 YEARS OR OLDER, please email us at THIS ADDRESS with the following information in both the subject line and body of your email:

1. Your full name

2. Your phone number(s)

3. Your email address (the one you pick up most often - be aware that many work email addresses mistakenly identify our emails as Spam so make sure you use an email address where you can receive our emails)

4. Which show(s) you want to attend, Put "ANY SHOW" if you can attend either of the two tapings including the early evening.

5. Number of tickets (2 tickets is the maximum number we can allow. If you need more tickets please have your additional guest request tickets under their name and email address. Thanks)

Example: Richard Pryor/(212) 555-1212 /wildcomic@pryor.com/ANY SHOW/2 tickets

Please refer to the shows as follows(YOU MUST BE AT THE SHOWS AT LEAST 1 HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE SHOWTIME):

Show 3 - BONNIE MCFARLANE AND FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS--

FRIDAY, APRIL 22, 2005 - 6:30PM (LINE UP 5:15PM-5:45PM)

Show 4 - BONNIE MCFARLANE AND FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS--

FRIDAY, APRIL 22, 2005 - 9:00 PM (LINE UP 8:00PM-8:30PM)

"ANY SHOW" - MEANS YOU CAN ATTEND ANY TAPINGS. DON'T PUT DOWN "ANY SHOW" IF YOU CAN'T ATTEND THE EARLY EVENING SHOWS. IF YOU ARE FLEXIBLE ABOUT WHICH TAPING YOU ATTEND YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO GET TICKETS.

We will contact you via email or phone with a detailed confirmation if there are tickets available. You should hear from us within a few days of your email but at latest by WEDNESDAY, April 20, 2005 depending on when you rsvp. PLEASE DO NOT EMAIL US DUPLICATE REQUESTS THIS IS CONFUSING FOR US. If you have not heard from us by Wednesday evening, April 20, 2005 it is because we have run out of tickets. Since the audience is such an important part of the show if you and your guests have confirmed tickets for the show and do not attend we will be forced to remove you from our list for future free TV events.

SEE HBO ONE NIGHT STANDS OR MISS OUT ON SEEING WHAT HBO KNOWS IS THE FUTURE OF COMEDY!!

The Skirball Center is in NYC and is not to be confused with the Ski-Ball Center, which, we assume, is at Coney Island. (I'll bet they get that all the time!) And we would provide you with more information, but, artists that they are, they've larded their website down with gargantuan Flash animation that may actually load sometime in this century.) Just know that the Skirball Center is in Greenwich Village, near Washington Square and take it from there. Now get out there, Bonnie McFarlane fans, and make this the best damn HBO taping there ever was.

You may recall a recent posting that told of three comics (John Wessling, Tommy Drake and Chuck Savage) who had a crazy plan to set out from Texas one day and do 50 dates in 50 states in 50 days. Well, they launched their Hell Gig America trip the other night in Beaumont and they're headed for Pensacola tonight (venue to be announced!) and they'll be in Birmingham at the Stardome tomorrow (Tuesday) night! Head on out and support these boys as they set out to do what no comic has done before! Bring 'em a covered dish or a couple bucks for gas money or a fake plastic vagina! (Make that three fake plastic vaginas!) While you're waiting, you can follow their exploits via the "Road Updates" blog they've configured on the site.

Good luck fellahs! We'll see you in Baltimore!

This is so stupid it's funny. We actually went to it and played it once. (And kicked mighty ass, we hasten to add!) (Editors note: This is a re-ruunning of a posting that had to be taken down because of technical difficulties!)

Jim Slotek, writing for the Toronto Sun, offers a personal reminiscence on Mitch Hedberg:

A decidedly right-brained talent, Mitch was then "of no fixed address" as they say, having just been kicked out of his New York apartment by his ex-girlfriend. "It was in-fie-delity. I gotta be honest about that," he told me.

Read the rest here.

A story for the ages. So we're co-headlining at Rascals in Cherry Hill, NJ, this past weekend. The first three crowds of the weekend are splendid-- enthusiastic and attentive; some smaller than others, but quality-wise, they're great.

Come show number four-- 10:30 show Saturday-- we're hoping to cap the whole weekend off with a corker, when some guy in the back starts giving Traci shit within four jokes of her hitting the stage. Traci gives it back, shreds the guy repeatedly; laughs ensue. The management wisely uses restraint-- Traci's getting the better of the exchange, but they wait to see if the situation heads in a truly ugly direction before bringing the hammer down on him.

Mr. Heckler actually yells, "Git 'er done!" a few times. Traci hammers him a little more, much to the delight of the rest of the audience.

Eventually, when our bouncer gives him the mild "talkin' to," he retreats to the lobby to catch a smoke, stopping by the office to complain about that sassy gal on stage.

In spite of all this, the sets go great. Mr. Looselips burbles and gurgles feebly during Brian's set, but all the fight's gone out of him. Brian labels him "our mascot," when explaining his behavior to a group of late-arrivers and uses him as a comedic "cat toy" once or twice during the remainder of his set. Further disruption is minimal and the yocks from the put-downs enhance the set.

The show ends. Mr. Heckler Dude brags loudly, "I'm Brad Trackman's father!" Trackman, for those of you following along at home, is the scheduled headliner at this very venue June 23-24! (Correction: That's 23-25-- Editors)

Hmmm... We are sorely tempted to prop up Brian's 88-year-old mother (who lives a scant five minutes from the club) in the back of the house-- just in time for the late show Saturday on the 25th of June-- ply her with two Manhattans and encourage her to blast little Brad with "Git 'er done!" and "That's what om talkin' about!" She's 88! She'll do it for a coupla Manhattans and a lottery ticket!

Hey, Brad, tell your old man not to heckle the other members of your profession! Or, at the very least, just have him limit the heckling to your sets.

This has been a public service announcement from SHECKYmagazine.com.

Shecky Greene, standup comic, actor and one of the real-life characters that loomed large in 1960s-era Vegas, turned 79 years old today.

At one time Greene was the highest-paid act on the Las Vegas strip. His antics, and the stories of his contemporaries-- Louis Prima, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Elvis Presley-- contributed to the lore that made Sin City a premiere American tourist destination. Not only was he once a household name in America, but his first name achieved icon status, becoming a generic term meaning, loosely, one who cracks wise or makes jokes.

He recently moved to Palm Springs and, from all accounts, is virtually retired from performing.

We wish him a happy birthday.

One of our spies out there in Comedyland sent along the Edmonton Journal's take on the whole Andy Dick/Yuk Yuks mess. It was most difficult to choose our favorite quote. Here's two that tied for the grand prize:

"I've never seen anything that bad on a stage, ever," (Yuk Yuk's manager Chrysi) Rubin said of the two shows she paid the star comedian $7,500 US to perform at the Londonderry Mall club on Friday evening.

"I think this was the first time in Yuk Yuk's history that we've had to terminate an act of some notoriety."

(If anyone has a link to an online version of the EJ's account, please insert it into a comment, eh? Thanks!)

"He kept exposing himself on stage. He took his (penis) out and wrapped it around his arm like a watch. He was talking about other races."

(A patron) said Dick drank heavily on stage. By the time the brief show ended, he said he was worried someone in the angry crowd would physically attack the comedian.

Are we piling on? No, not at all. But when there are so many comics out there (actual comics-- ya know, comics? Like comedians? Like, ya know, with, like... an act? Like, material?!) it is puzzling as to why folks are so intent on inflicting this kind of ridiculousness on comedy club crowds (and charging $15,000 US!), and doubly puzzling as to why anyone would book it into his or her club (and charge his or her patrons $32 CD)? I guess we just don't understand how the world works.

The above has become a catchphrase around SHECKYmagazine HQ, and for obvious reasons! We saw it in the TV Guide's Cheers and Jeers section:

JEERS to NBC's latest cliched Behind the Camera movie, The Unauthorized Story of Mork & Mindy, which reduced Robin Williams (Chris Diamantopoulos) to a perky yet sad clown who handles TV fame by declaring "I will not become Bob Denver" as he turns to drugs. Given the script, who'd blame him?

No comment yet from Bob Denver, we suppose. (We're guessing it's a direct-- and authentic-- quote from Williams. Does it not say a lot about the man that he would say something like that about a fellow thespian? Not nice.) And what's with the people at TV Guide sucking up to Robin Williams like that? JEERS? Get real! (And, after all, wasn't Robin Williams actually a "perky yet sad clown?") We wonder if the same thugs who threatened to end Michael Chiklis' career for portraying John Belushi in a trashy biopic leaned on poor Mr. Diamantopoulos in a similar manner. (Judging from the art that accompanied the item-- Chris D. in full Mork regalia!-- he won't be starring on the FX as a dirty cop any time soon!)

We also noticed in the same issue, an item entitled "J.J. Abrams Gets Busy" tells of "the tireless 38-year-old writer-producer-director" who has three pilots in the running to apear on ABC's fall schedule. (What it is it about the business model of Big TV that insists on throwing money at producers who have one or two hits, asking them to spin four or five plates at once, thereby destroying their ability to do just one series with any success? Even Aaron Spelling had the sense to do only one or two at a time.)

Anyway, one of the pilots, "The Catch," is described as "a long-in-the-works pet project about grandfather-and-grandson private eyes." (We like to call it "Heart to Heart Attack!") The beauty part is that Don Rickles has been cast as... the older one!

We won't know until May 17 if Rickles will be on regular network television-- that's the day that ABC announces their fall schedule.

Gary Levin, writing "Networks hard at work to sign up sitcoms" on the front page of USA Today's entertainment section says that NBC's offering, The Office, is "the clearest sign yet of the risks that the networks will shoulder to escape a comedy drought." (Running a remake of a hit British TV series is a risk?) Levin goes on to quote NBC Entertainment chief Kevin Reilly, who says that, "aside from Two and a Half Men, there hasn't been a new comedy in several years that has really grabbed viewers." Which leads to our favorite quote from Reilly:

And then there's Earl, about "a petty thief who has an epiphany after winning the lottery...We haven't seen a lot of rednecks on NBC," lately.

Does anyone else get the impression that Reilly was curled up in a fetal position beneath his desk as he issued these quotes? One gets the idea that Gary Levin is not a real person and that Andy Kindler has ghost-written this piece.

Kindler...er, Levin says that the strategies being employed by the suits (those phrases in bold at the beginning of each paragraph) are as follows: "Familiar faces," (You know, like Geena Davis and Donald Sutherland, like that.), "Drama crossovers," (Serious actors like James van der Beek and Kevin Sorbo!), and "Singles are everywhere," ("Call it the anti-Raymond," says the copy. It's about time we had the anti-Raymond, isn't it?! Who wants a series to go on for, like, nine seasons! What a horrific formula that Raymond was!) And the whole article is capped off with the optimistic, nearly euphoric quotes from "outspoken agent-turned-producer" Gavin Polone:

"They all stink...The pilots being made everywhere are derivative and silly...Even when they try to break out of the mold (of) the family with the couch and TV, then it's derivative of something else."

Happy days are here again!

Levin turned in a lengthy piece just a few pages away from the above article, this one in the TV section, holding forth on "What tickles the networks," and letting us know that the "broadcast networks are on a quest to end a comedy drought." I smell Pulitzer! The subhead says that, "In May, they'll choose from about 80 sitcoms preparing pilot episodes."

Hey, wait a minute... we've been assured time and again that the sitcom is dead! What gives here? Our favorite quote, under the heading, "NBC: 'Fresh' and 'honest' are the watchwords":

"I don't think the answer has to be that it's groundbreaking or something you've never seen before, " entertainment chief Kevin Reilly says. " But a lot of comedies don't seem to be particularly fresh, and they don't seem to be particularly honest."

But the WB has a special place in our hearts because they want to save the world by using "Star power and witty writing." While they did at least have the sense to tap the guy who created Scrubs, the star power they come up with is, (drumroll, please): Jane Leeves, Anne Heche and Camryn Mannheim! And the other networks can only muster Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, Chris Kattan and Kevin Sorbo.

The sitcom isn't dead, but the doctors and nurses to whom we have entrusted its care are quacks, totally incapable of discerning a boil from a tumor and frequently mistaking Mountain Dew for saline solution.

Our own Doug Hecox got a splendid hit in Roll Call (subscription required), "For Politicians, the Quip Starts Here-- Joke Writers Have Become Essential to Some Political Leaders" by Bree Hocking. If you aren't a subscriber, we'll just tell you that it's a fascinating piece about the cottage industry inside the beltway-- dozens of comics providing jokes or entire speeches to politicians on both sides of the aisle. Congratulations, Mr. Hecox!

According to the bio under his piece on Ynetnews.com, Charles Warady is "a standup comedian living in Israel who hosts with his wife, Carol, a weekly podcast about life and politics in Israel on his blog, Israelisms."

"Exactly what I said. You can’t have those tires."

I told him my credit card was as good as anybody else's and I wanted to see those tires.

"Those are already spoken for."

"But there’s a ton of tires there," I pointed out.

After much prodding, he finally broke down and told me the truth. "They’re for the settlers," he confessed.

Read how the Jews in the settlements in Isreal have incorporated tires into their civil disobedience repertoire.

Normally, we don't air dirty laundry... or repeat gossip... but we couldn't let this pass without comment. According to an item in the Edmonton Sun ("What a dick!"), Andy Dick got sent home from a gig in Edmonton.

While Yuk Yuk's doesn't shy away from risque humour and was aware that Dick doesn't do standup, Kirk said the actor's lack of material was his worst offence.

"We don't put someone on stage that doesn't have prepared material," he said. "He was just not funny, and he didn't do what we thought he'd do."

After the second show on Friday, club management told Dick to go home, and cancelled his hotel room for Saturday as well. Award-winning local comedian Andrew Grose filled in on Saturday night and delivered killer sets, Kirk said.

The first element of this story that stands out for us is the part where the club's management says that they were, "aware that Dick doesn't do standup." Then, they follow it up with a surprised, "the actor's lack of material was his worst offence."

YUK YUKS: "Yuk Yuks, may I help you?"

DICK'S AGENT: "Yes, my client doesn't do standup... I understand you have a comedy club...."

YUK YUKS: Send him on up! (aside to assistant)This is going to be sooo fucking great!"

How ever did things go so terribly wrong? Such a mystery!

Stunt bookings are a time-honored tradition. Will this kill the bookings for Mr. Dick? Get real. We've heard all kinds of horror stories over the years-- club owners/bookers tell of rude, erratic behavior by bookees, on- and offstage, and, when the observation (a reasonable one) is made that

"Well, I guess you'll never have him/her back to the club again,"

it is usually followed up with,

"What? We're bringing him back in for Valentine's Day! Sure, he shit in the green room and fucked my dog and called the mayor's wife a cunt first show Friday, but he puts butts in the seats!"

The second element of this story that stands out to us is the no-win situation that Andrew Grose found himself in after Dick was sent home. Or was that a no-lose situation? Either way, it worked out well for Grose... or, did it?

"So, I guess that means you'll have (fill in name of comic who saves the weekend) headline again real soon, right?"

"Oh, no! He's a local."

We really shouldn't post after coffee/before breakfast. (P.S. Add the Edmonton Yuks to the list of clubs that won't be hiring us any time soon.)

--A D V E R T I S E M E N T --

Calling all comedians searching for good, reliable website host who offers service, quality and value. Click on that button on the top of the column over there ------> and it will whisk you to the guy who has been hosting our site for six years to the day! That's right-- SHECKYmagazine is SIX YEARS OLD today and, throughout those six years, one constant has been the service, quality and value of Coolnet.

Click on that button, people. It will take you to information on a special SHECKYmagazine.com/Coolnet.net offer. And tell them SHECKYmagazine.com sent you and you'll get the SHECKYmagazine.com Cool Offer! It's our birthday present to you.

Matthew Grimm, writing for Brandweek (the same folks who brought you Adweek and Mediaweek):

(Comedy) doesn't work when an account exec joins the team. Real comedy, especially standup, turns the world inside out to expose its inherent stupidity, and that often requires vulgarity, disrespect and challenging perceptions. Real art tends not to get sponsored, because sponsors can't remotely be associated with anything vulgar, disrespectful or challenging to perceptions.

He's perplexed by the un-funniness of Pepsi's Sierra Mist campaign and he's not amused by any of the contestants in Sierra Mist's quest to find "America's Next Great Comic" ("Five comedians, one soft drink"). We were perplexed because Pepsico required us to upgrade our Flash viewer in order to experience their site. Oh, well... there's comedians in there somewhere.

Read the rest here.

TV Guide had a cow over the Jeff Foxworthy Roast on Comedy Central.

You know you're a critic in trouble when there' barely one joke from a comedy special that's A.) Clean enough to repeat and B.) Funny. Example: Jeff Foxworthy's TV show was so bad that "Christopher Reeve got up and changed the channel." Quadriplegic humor is bad enough but this roast also boasts four Hispanic jokes.

Oh, the horror! How can we all go on! Four Hispanic jokes!?!? Oh, the humanity! Susan Stewart, the author of the above savaging of the Comedy Central Roast should be re-assigned. Perhaps she would be better suited to ghost writing the answers to the fake question in "Walter Scott's Personality Parade." She's the tightass in the front row who never cracks a smile. She's the moron who comes up to you after the show and says something inane like, "You know, hurting animals isn't a very funny topic for humor." (Or something equally idiotic, depending on what subjects you've managed to cover in your set.)

It was enjoyable. Not sure why they had to change the format of the roast and take it out of the Friars Club, and let everyone wear civilian clothes. Where's the harm in making all these comics wear tuxedoes and deliver this stuff from a dais in a dusty old wood-paneled building dripping with tradition and history?

That George W. Bush impersonator (Steve Bridges, for those of you who were wondering) was a killer. And, just in case you're wondering, here's his contract rider (Smoking Gun, eat your heart out):

"Mr. President"...Steve Bridges 2004 Rider


This rider is hereby made a part of the contract for ___________________________

by and between Steve Bridges (hereinafter referred to as "Artist") and
_______________________ (hereinafter referred to as "Producer").


1. Producer shall provide and pay for:

A. One non-smoking Jr. Suite for makeup artist Kevin Haney and one non-smoking Single Room for artist for one or two nights, as needed. Rooms must be pre-paid and close together, on the same floor

B. Add to Haney suite prior to arrival: one 6-foot banquet table and two floor lamps

C. Van, limousine, or large SUV for ground transportation to and from hotel and airport

D. Ground transportation to and from performance venue if not at hotel
E. One high-quality lectern/podium with adjustable microphone, preferably on a stage positioned directly in front of audience

F. First class sound system with CD player and operator

G. Four or five "shills" (members of the audience willing to ask Artist a question during his performance)

H. One microphone (preferably wireless) for audience "shills" during Question and Answer period

I. Spotlight and operator or full stage wash appropriate for venue (spotlight highly recommended for Artist's entrance)

J. Green Room (holding area) for Artist prior to performance with chairs, mirror, ice water, glasses, etc.

K. At least two "Secret Service Agents" in dark suits (no sunglasses, please!)

2. Artist will provide:

A. "Hail to the Chief" CD

B. Four or five questions for audience "shills"

3. Introduction: "Ladies and Gentlemen, a very special guest has taken time out of his hectic schedule to be with us, and we are truly honored. Please welcome our special guest." NOTE: Don't mention Washington, President Bush or politics; it will telegraph the hoax, lessening the
surprise impact of Artist's entrance.

4. Sound operator to begin playing "Hail to the Chief" nice and loud, immediately after introduction. As Artist reaches the lectern/podium, sound operator slowly turns volume off. Replay "Hail to the Chief" immediately upon conclusion of performance and until Artist exits room.

Accepted by: _____________________________________

What was the deal with that rap act? It wasn't... funny. So we gotta ask why?

We've been plodding through the last 72 hours or so as if walking through molasses, bummed by the death of Mitch Hedberg. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, we found it oddly comforting to throw "Want One" by Rufus Wainwright on the CD player. We say "oddly," because it's somewhat melancholy, so you wouldn think that'd be the last thing you wanna listen to. But at least it's got a coupla upbeat tracks sprinkled throughout (tracks that the female half of the staff says "keep you from going into a fetal position.") It's our official mourning CD.

As an aside: The male half of the staff has a tenuous connection to Wainwright himself-- "We share a relative... his half-sister is my first cousin... I think... it's all somewhat confusing to me... and we've never met... so we actually paid for the CD.")

It was late Monday afternoon when we got the phone call asking us to cobble together a list of "10 great places to sit down and watch stand-up." We knew that we'd disappoint a lot of people. Lists, by their very nature, disappoint. It's a list, limited to a tidy number (10 in this case). You can't please everybody. Everybody knows that. Or do they?

Which clubs should we include? Which should we leave off? What if someone took offense at being left off? So many considerations.

And so many competing interests: We're comics. We're journalists (sort of). And we're comedy fans. Ultimately, we abandoned the first two, because, after all, the article was for travelling Americans, who read USAToday, and it would appear in the newspaper's Travel section. So we made an honest attempt to assemble a list that would blanket the country and reflect the diverse tastes of American standup comedy fans and consider their diverse habits. In the short time span that we had, we consulted some trusted comics and we decided on a solid list that gave the reporter from USAToday what she wanted.

Of course, we knew that somebody out there would be miffed. The article wasn't circulating for an entire news cycle before we got an email from Matt Komen, talent coordinator for the Improv Comedy Clubs chain:

I was just sent the link from the article in USA Today and thought that not including any one of the 18 Improvs around the country might have been an April Fool's joke...

Read the rest of our brief exchange. It's a fascinating look into what happens when two comics risk the enmity of an entire business by playing ball with the MSM.

There's another top AP story about how the comics on the stand at the Michael Jackson molestation trial are killing. Our favorite is this exchange between Jackson attorney Mesereau and George Lopez:

Lopez said he visited the sick boy at his grandparents' home in suburban El Monte, saying he had heard that Palanker had given the family $10,000 to build a germ-free room and he wanted to see it.

Mesereau asked if he thought that was odd.

"I think it's odd when a comedian has $10,000, period," Lopez quipped.

From LiveScience.com, comes the news that animals might laugh:

"Indeed, neural circuits for laughter exist in very ancient regions of the brain, and ancestral forms of play and laughter existed in other animals eons before we humans came along with our 'ha-ha-has' and verbal repartee," says Jaak Panksepp, a neuroscientist at Bowling Green State University.

His name, we hasten to point out, is probably pronounced, "yock." (And the male half of the staff here hastens to point out that Panksepp toils at BGSU, an institution from which the male half of the staff escaped after three years of academic wheel-spinning in their journalism program.) The female half of the staff seems to vaguely recall a SNL sketch called "Wilderness Comedian," in which a standup comic was depicted making woodland animals chuckle.

"Although no one has investigated the possibility of rat humor, if it exists, it is likely to be heavily laced with slapstick," Panksepp figures. "Even if adult rodents have no well-developed cognitive sense of humor, young rats have a marvelous sense of fun."

Young rats, be free tonight! (With apologies to Rod Stewart.) Read the rest.

From his publicist:

Comedian, Mitch Hedberg, died on Wednesday, March 30, 2005, at the age of 37.

A prolific comedian, Mitch rarely stopped touring through more than fifteen years in comedy, building a loyal fan base and recently headlining a 44-city theater tour throughout the U.S.

A true original to the comedy world, Mitch starred in his own Comedy Central special and released the live comedy DVD/CD "Mitch All Together" and the live comedy CD "Strategic Grill Locations." His distinctive, original comedic delivery made him a favorite on "The Late Show with David Letterman," "Late Night with Conan O’Brien" and "The Howard Stern Show" and prompted TIME Magazine to include him as one of the next generation of comedic stars.

Mitch wrote, directed and starred in the independent feature film, "Los Enchiladas," which was screened at the 1999 Sundance Film Festival, and appeared in the feature film "Almost Famous."

Mitch is survived by his wife, comedian Lynn Shawcroft, his parents Arne and Mary Hedberg of South Maplewood, MN and sisters Wendy Brown and Angie Anderson.

A wake for Mitch Hedberg will be held on Monday, April 4, 2005 from 4:00 – 8:00 PM at Wulff Family Services, Woodlane Mortuary, 2195 Woodlane Drive, Woodbury, MN 55125.

On Tuesday, April 5, visitation for Mitch Hedberg will be held at 10:00 AM with the funeral following at 11:00 AM at St. Ambrose Catholic Church, 4125 Woodbury Drive, Woodbury, MN 55129.

Condolences may be sent to the family in care of Wulff Family Services. Memorials preferred.

Memorials are being planned in Los Angeles and New York.

Just in case anyone is wondering:

Visitation is 4 to 8 p.m. Monday at Woodbury Funeral Chapel, 2195 Woodlane Drive, in Woodbury. Visitation continues an hour before services 11 a.m. Tuesday at St. Ambrose Catholic Church, 4125 Woodbury Drive in Woodbury. The family is asking for memorials in lieu of flowers. Burial will be private.

Michael K. McIntyre of the Cleveland Plain Dealer deserves a reporter yummy for his insightful article on the Bassa Vita open mike in Cleveland.

The comics laugh louder than anyone else. And after the show, they unwind with a beer, some pats on the back and some helpful advice. "It's funny stuff, man, but you just have to trim those setups," Dalton - who is revered by the other comics - tells Joe Hannum, a single dad who works in advertising by day and does standup as a hobby when he can get a baby sitter.

Sounds like a supportive atmosphere. We strongly advise even non-Clevelanders to read the whole thing.

There it is, on page 3D, The 10 Greatest Places to Sit Down and Watch Stand-Up, with quotes from Brian McKim and Traci Skene.

A nice press-hit present for the sixth anniversary of the launch of this here publication (Ms. Goodfriend, the author got that wrong by just one teeny, tiny year. And, while we're picking nits, we did not say that Richard Pryor got his start at the Laugh Factory! Other than that, nice job!) And just to clarify (and dispell the notion that we're idiots): Under the paragraph that talks about Bear's Place, it says, "We have to include a one-nighter..." and then it says that Bear's Place has comedy two nights a week. Hmmm... The technicality is that it's two one-nighters! They're not on consecutive nights, so we're still correct!

Scroll down for your chance to play along at home! There are two postings below this one that solicit your opinion, dear reader, on what the greatest comedy clubs in America (past and present) are/were. Be nice! (And it might afford us all a chance to distract us from the sadness of the last 36 hours or so.)

Hit the "Comments" link at the end of this post to post your list of 10 Great Comedy Clubs in America! To start you off, we're posting a list submitted by our very own Tom Ryan, who said, "I'm sure as soon as I send this I'll think of another that I should have included."

In no particular order...

Denver Comedy Works
Atlanta Punchline
New York Gotham Comedy Club
New York Comedy Cellar
New York Carolines
Irvine Improv
Tempe Improv
Cleveland Hilarities
The Blue Loon - Fairbanks, Alaska
Hermosa Beach Comedy and Magic Club

Eclectic! And geographically diverse as well (even if it is somewhat clumpy around NYC)! Give it a try, people! And please specify if you're a comedy fan or a comic! (And, if you feel the need to comment or justify a pick or two, keep it brief and breezy!)

Comics and Civilians: Play along at home! Post your list of the Greatest Comedy Clubs (DEFUNCT).Here's ours:

Wise Guys, Syracuse, NY
Comedy Club, Richmond, VA
Comedy Factory Outlet, Philadelphia, PA
Funny Bone, Buffalo, NY
Comedy Works, (Old City) Phila, PA
Honolulu Comedy Club, Honolulu, HI
Punchline, Charlotte, NC
Winchester's, Baltimore, MD
Taproom, Ambler, PA (one-nighter)
Chuckles, Mineola, NY

Hit the "Comments" link at the bottom of this posting and you'll be whisked to the page that will allow you to post your list of The Greatest Comedy Clubs (That are no longer in existence)! Please indicate whether you are a comic or a civilian!