We're not too happy to report that Lisa Ferguson is filing her very last Laugh Lines for the Las Vegas Sun. The column appeared every Friday and featured profiles, interviews, bits & pieces about standup comedy in Las Vegas and elsewhere. Too bad! Ferguson was one of only a handful of columnists in North America who actually wrote regularly (and with deep knowledge of, and appreciation for) standup comedy. (The only others that come immediately to mind are the Boston Globe's Nick Zaino and Bill Brownstein of the Montreal Gazette. We're trying to find out if the Sun plans to continue with Laugh Lines. We'll keep you posted. (The above link goes to last week's installment of Laugh Lines, a profile of comic Don Barnhart).

Click here for Ferguson's farewell column, an interview with Wendy Kamenoff followed by her parting words.

In an interview to appear in this Sunday's Seattle Times, this exchange takes place between Seattle Underground proprietor Ron Reid and the Times' news weasel Mark Rahner:

Q. How much harm did TV's "Last Comic Standing" show do to the business?

A. I don't think it did any damage to the business. I think it actually was good for the business.

Q. Those people stunk!

A. I know they stunk. But people go, 'Hey, the guys at the Comedy Underground are better than those guys. Let's go see them.'

We suppose it's tough to tell a reporter to his face that he's full of brown matter. (Although we've never had trouble doing so--and no one has ever had trouble telling us that our shit tank is on "F.") But, those people stunk?

At the Just For Laughs Festival held this month in Montreal (the largest festival of its kind. You may have heard of it.), there were no fewer than eight comics present who owed much of their current notoriety to Last Comic Standing (Kathleen Madigan, Gary Gulman, Alonzo Bodden, John Heffron, Tom Cotter, Kerri Louise
Dan Naturman, D.C. Benny). We'll admit that the show was not an ideal showcase for the talents of any of the comedians involved, but for anyone (in the media, in the club business) to make the pronouncement that they stunk... well, it stinks.

What would we do without Reality TV Magazine?

"Episode 318" - Witness the first celebrity Mom mini-makeover of Linda, a 55-year-old custodian from suburban Chicago, IL and mother of comedic actress/author Jenny McCarthy ("Scary Movie 3," TV's "Jenny," the upcoming series "The Bad Girl's Guide.") Plus, catch the extreme makeovers of Steve, a 49-year-old standup comedian from Los Angeles and Ryann, a 24-year-old patient coordinator from Huntington Beach, CA, on "Extreme Makeover," THURSDAY, JULY 28 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. (Rebroadcast. OAD: 3/31/05)

That, of course, is Steve Mittleman.. We missed this episode when it originally aired. (We blame ABC... we seem to recall that they switched air dates on us all.)

Three cheers (at the very least) for Ralph Rivera. He's doing something for the kids who get cancer on Guam. That's right, Guam.

Cancer, especially childhood cancer, is a tragedy. Cancer treatment is expensive for anyone, but on Guam it is especially so because children usually have to be flown off island for treatment.

About a year ago, Rivera, a name known in Guam's fast-growing standup comedy scene, decided to use his talents to help cancer victims and their families. Together with the help of fellow local comics Nathan Ooka and Alan Guzman, he formed the Comics Fighting Children's Cancer Foundation.

Need we add anything? Curiously, there's no URL for a site where well-meaning non-Guamians might help. I suppose we're left to email the author of the piece, Charles Bryans, at cbryans@guampdn.com.

The body of the email, from Slade Ham, was, "...and you shall receive." The photo below was attached.


Left to right: Dwight Slade Ham

And, in a followup email: "That's off my digital camera, so go ahead... I think Emery Emery took the picture, but I'm not sure. I just had to get a picture to prove that time doesn't actually stop when the two Slade's collide."

In the hectic four days of J.F.L. coverage, we try to give readers an idea of what it's like to be in the middle of the world's largest comedy festival (or, perhaps slightly off to one side of the eye), but try as we might, we still forget to include bits and pieces, observations, etc. Each day, we would rise at about 10 AM or so, after an average of 5-1/2 hours of sleep, and bang out our daily update (which would take, on average, about two hours). Things fall through the cracks. Herewith are those things:

Here's a link to a page of lovely photos taken (not by us, but by ENS Productions for CJAD) in the vicinity of the CJAD remote broadcast table in the Delta mezzanine. (You'll recall that we were priveleged to be invited to hop on CJAD's air for a segment, just before heading over to see the "Hell Gig America" flick on Wednesday night.

* * * * * * *

Investigate this profile of Lewis Black from Canada.com on the occasion of Black's hosting of the Stupidity Awards at this year's J.F.L. (Written by Nelson Wyatt for Canadian Press.)

* * * * * * *

We were surprised as anyone when National Lampoon CEO Kent Emmons asked us when/if we were eventually going to get married! To clarify: The Male Half of the Staff has been happily married to the Female Half of the Staff (and vice-versa) for 16 years... 16 years, 237 days, to be exact.

* * * * * * *

Where was Dom Irrera?

* * * * * * *

Apparently, all the J.F.L. goodie bags (handed out to all the Artistes) contained a tasteful T-shirt (emblazoned with the J.F.L. logo) and, among other things a DVD from one of the artists from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. (It was random. Depending on the luck of the draw, lucky bag recipients got either a DVD or CD from Foxworthy, White, Engvall or The Cable Guy.) Was it wise to have them placed in the goodie bags? Not sure. Kindler cracked wise about it. A couple other comics made jokes. What's with that? We tried to analyze why anyone would be irate or annoyed (one comic even claimed to be "insulted!") by it. Maybe it's this: If your client isn't going to be present, physically present, maybe it's a bad idea to be thrusting your client's product into everybody's paw. Is it jealousy? Is this enmity exclusively reserved for the Blue Collar boys? Hmmm... no. We think comics don't really want a CD or a DVD of a fellow comic unless it's from:

1. A deceased comic
2. A legendary comic (Carlin, maybe)
3. A comic or act that's actually going to be featured at that year's fest (and that's a maybe)

Are we off base here? (Or are we just seizing on yet another opportunity to pile on Parallel Entertainment? Hey, at least we admit to the possibility.) Suggestion: Instead of a DVD, maybe a free drink coupon, "courtesy of the boys at Blue Collar TV! Get 'er drunk!"

* * * * * * *

We paid scant attention to local media coverage of the Festival in our Fest updates. We didn't have access to a television, so that was out. We did purchase the Gazette faithfully, though. We noted that there was a healthy amount of coverage, fair coverage, varied coverage, but nothing we felt the need to grouse about. Except for Bill Browstein (who, we hasten to add, spilled some nice ink on us when we appeared at the Comedy Nest last January!), who once again can't resist the tempatation to resort to the old chestnut about how all comics are mentally damaged in one way or another. That drives us insane. (That there would be your irony.)

Brownstein made an interesting point when he said that the best venue to see comedy at the Festival may well be the Comedy Works. ("Twenty bucks buys you 12 stand-up headliners in just two hours" reads the sub-head of his Thursday column.) But, he just can't help himself:

This show is also competitive, a kind of comedy Olympics as the wits, in their inimitable passive-aggressive manner, seek to out-one-line each another and with the crowd's approval. Comedians, you see, tend to be among the more insecure critters...

Arrrggghh!

Jim Belushi, who hosted the Saturday night galas, is quoted in a profile in Saturday's Gazette, by Mark Lepage:

Being a standup is a terrifically horrifying fear of mine. They go out there on their own. They rely on the audience to be their partner. They live on that stress level.

And then there was the article, in the Business section of all places, which purported to give readers the lowdown on how to craft a comedy career. Stephanie Whittaker sought the advice of Jeff Rothpan, J.F.L. founder Andy Nulman, CBC radio personality (and part time standup) Sonali Karnick and comedy writer George Reinblatt. Only Rothpan's philosophizing didn't induce wincing. Unlike this:

"Don't take it personally if someone tells you you're not funny," Reinblatt says. "Instead, get funnier."

Hmmm... Reinblatt seems to sending out a mixed message-- Don't take it personally. Oh, sure, believe what they say, but, uh... don't take it personally! Sure, you can let someone induce gut-wrenching self-doubt to the point where you'll change your creative process and quite possibly doom yourself as a peformer, but... don't take it personally! (Perhaps we overreact.)

For all this alleged insecurity, a standup comic can interact with another standup comic and become friends (or a reasonable approximation thereof) with startling speed. We maintain that, far from being sociopathic, comics have highly developed social skills, and an overall desire (but certainly not an uhealthy one) to avoid conflict. (As was pointed out in one of a thousand conversations over four days, "'The Festival Dick' is rare." Or, to put it another way, comedy people who are truly dysfunctional are in the minority... way in the minority. And they are easily identified, as they stand out.)

* * * * * * *

This year, there was no Sunday night gala. There were, however, two galas each night on Friday and Saturday. And this year, there was an all-British gala. Just one of the changes in this year's fest.

We noted also that they changed the location of the table where shuttle rides were coordinated, virtually hiding it in the rear of the mezzanine. And there was little of the chaos that's surrounded that table in years past. Perhaps a logistical goof made by the Delta (or somebody!) that resulted in a good number of comedy industry types and maybe an artist or three being billeted at a hotel other than the Delta made for fewer folks seeking shuttles! Some folks who had Delta reservations were put up at The Intercontinental and other "sister" hotels. We suspect that many Delta customers were bumped by members of the many international swimming and diving teams that converged on Montreal to participate in the XI FINA World Championships, a giant aquatic orgy that's still going on! It added to the surreal experience that is the J.F.L.-- flying wedges of swimming and diving types skittering past clumps of standup comedy industry figures swilling Labatts in the hotel lobby and mezzanine. Elevators alternately disgorging blond, broad-shouldered female butterfly specialists or... Penn Jillette! Delightfully incongruous!

Sometimes, chaos, though, is good! Oftentimes, a conversation (albeit a short one) can be wedged in while waiting for a free shuttle ride. Schmoozing can take place amid chaos.

And, we hasten to insert: Not all exchanges at these affairs is schmoozing. Genuine human interaction takes place often.

* * * * * * *

The Male Half of the Staff had a brush with a comedy icon Saturday evening:

Although I didn't know it at the time, the gentleman three urinals down was a giant in the annals of Canadian (and U.S.) sketch comedy. It was only after, when I was headed out of the rest room, when Kid in the Hall Scott Thompson addressed my fellow urinator, as "Bellini," when I realized it! Had he been wearing a bath towel...

In another bathroom-related incident, T.M.H. of the S. encountered former Big Mover Tommy James in that double-doored airlock they often have at the entrances to all you finer rest rooms. James "greeted" his former editor with a cryptic "Fuck you, twice!" (We hasten to note that it was delivered with no detectable malice. We also hasten to add that a hearty-- if somewhat confused-- cackle was the rejoinder.) Upon further consideration however, we were disturbed that James had skipped the first Fuck You and hopped right to the second! ("It's like going straight to the Triple Dog Dare when no dares have been issued!," says T.F.H. of the S.) Unsettling in retrospect! Would past Big Movers Rich Williams or Tom Ryan say, "Fuck you twice?" We think not!

* * * * * * *

It's official: Eddie Brill can lay claim to The Line of the Festival. You'll recall, in an earlier post, while we were chatting about the S.O.T.I.A., Mr. Kindler lamented a "laugh line that didn't get a laugh" from his video earlier in the day. Brill's quick retort (a good-natured one, of course!) was "Andy, if it didn't get a laugh... it's not a laugh line."

* * * * * * *

Our biggest regret: That we never did snap a picture of Dwight Slade and Slade Ham together (with Slade on the left and Ham on the right), only because the caption could have been, "Left to right: Dwight Slade Ham"

* * * * * * *

There was a show devoted to remembering Lucien Hold Thursday night ("A Fond Farewell, A Tribute to Lucien Hold"). The Comic Strip (NY) proprietor passed away recently and Barry Weintraub, Johnny Lampert, Lenny Marcus, Vanessa Hollingshead and Elon Gold shared memories in a show at the Theatre St. Catherine.

There was no such tribute to Mitch Hedberg, but there was a page on the inside cover of the Artists Directory (which is not given to the media!!) that featured pics of Hedberg and the message, "In memory of our friend Mitch Hedberg." Perhaps there was not enough lead time for such a tribute. Maybe in '06

As in Friday, July 29, 2005. Check your newspaper for local time and channel.

Way back in February, we interviewed Emery Emery, the man who edited The Aristocrats.

There were many people who were not comedians by trade but had an intrinsic and personal understanding of comedy. These people were the glue that helped give the story a narrative and move it along. Drew Carey teaches us how the joke should be told and Geroge Carlin illustrates what elements should be added to the joke but by the end of the film, you know more about the craft and the artists than you ever wanted to know. And it's compelling.

Hop on and read the entire interview by clicking here

Sunday night they gave out awards to some of the films in the Comedia program.

In the feature films section, the programmer's choice for the COMEDIA Award is Patriot Act, a film by Jeffrey Ross (USA, 2005) documentary presented as a Canadian Premiere during the Festival. The film follows Drew Carey on his mission in Iraq to entertain and encourage the American troops. It showcases the helping and healing power comedy can have in the most serious of situations.

But wait, there's more!

A special mention goes to the film Fist Full of Pills by Tom Hester & Slade Ham (USA, 2005) for so well exemplifying the mandate of Comedia as a home for stand-up comedians who have written, starred in or produced their very own big-screen presentations, as well as in recognition for the exceptional critical and public response it garnered at the festival.

The entire release is also available.

SHECKYmagazine.com contributor Tom Ryan gets quoted in two recent Palm Beach Post pieces. The first article is a look back at the Comedy Corner, which booked a rich mixture of comedy royalty from 1986 to 2001.

"For a comedian it was like college," said former emcee Chris Baker, who is the top radio talk show host in Houston and still does an occasional stand-up routine. "Just look at the crew that came out of that little bitty comedy club. Whitney, Carrot Top. Tom Ryan has done two Lettermans and he's one of the most respected writers in the business."

"It was an environment that encouraged you to be creative," Ryan said from his home base in Los Angeles. "We all helped each other. It was fun to go up there on open mike nights. The audiences were great. Bill Hicks considered it his favorite club. Seinfeld loved it. It was just divey enough. Low ceilings are crucial for comedy."

The other article is a profile of Daniel Lawrence Whitney, who, like Ryan started out at the Comedy Corner.

"He realized it was working and started expanding on it," said Tom Ryan, another Comedy Corner alum, who's now based in L.A. and claims two Letterman appearances. "People don't give enough credit to his work ethic. For probably 10 years straight, he was getting up early in the morning to call anywhere from one to 20 stations, each with a different routine. He liked to personalize his markets, and he built them one by one. Slowly, he got in with syndication, then he did Blue Collar (Jeff Foxworthy's comedy tour), and it just snowballed"

Bob Tourtellotte writing for Reuters on The Aristocrats, which opens in theaters Friday:

As punchlines go, it's not that funny. But the way some comics describe the act makes audiences howl. Others, however, won't repeat the joke, and still more startle audiences with a retelling that seems to be pulled from real life. What emerges is a sort of portrait of comedians at work and at play.

Precisely!

"We have no desire to sucker-punch people ... We're letting people know what they are going to see," Jillette told Reuters. "We have a movie that has no nudity, no violence and unspeakable obscenity."

Precisely!

Read the rest.

In our 96 hours of 2005 JFL coverage, we managed to upload 9,189 words of copy and augment that with 21 images (depicting 44 different people in the arts, the media or the industry, including the two of us, of course!). If it were printed out, using Word, and with average margins, and no pictures, it would take up 13 pages. And we're not certain that this is our most prodigious output of our seven years of coverage!

Of course, if you've been following along, you've been able to read each day as it was posted. If you're just hopping on now, though, we've gone to the trouble of scooping up all the updates and putting them into one huge file that enables you to read them all from start to finish, in chronological order! (Easy, convenient. And it also takes them off the front page so that it loads faster. All those pics were slowing down the blog!)

Take me to Just For Laughs 2005 coverage!

It's Sunday evening, 9:38 PM, we're heading south on I-87. We're still two hours from home. How did that happen? We left at 1 PM! Well, there was that two-hour delay crossing the border... And a stop at the duty free for a couple of bottles of Sapphire Bombay Gin and a twelvepack of Belle Gueule.


John Caponera (Wise Guys) conversing with Andy Kindler at the Delta Saturday evening

The stackup at the border crossing was from two to four. The Male Half of the Staff figured on walking the half-mile or so from the all too stationary car to the duty free to get the ball rolling on the liquor and tax rebate process (That's right kids: save the receipts from your hotel room and they give you back your GST!), but was met at the edge of the parking lot by a polite but firm border guard who said the little scheme was prohibited by arcane border regulations! Damn! At least he had a pleasant walk in the Canadian sun.

On the way back I saw Tony Camacho crawl by at about 2 kilometers per hour (in his car, we hasten to add). Tony waved. A little farther up the road I chatted briefly with Dave Rath, also stuck in traffic, and gave him a brief update on the congestion ahead. Two hours later I spotted Camacho again, this time in the parking lot of a Thruway rest area. I spoke to Tony more on I-87 than I did during the previous four days of the Fest!

The bad thing about being stuck in a car this long, after being exhausted from four days of Festication, aside from the risk of fiery crashes of course is that we get... punchy! In addition to composting the conversations and incidents of the past 96 hours, we intermittently amuse ourselves by coming up with ridiculous ideas. And we came up with an innovative new day program for next year's JFL: Just For Stripping! It keeps all the successful exec types from leaving the Delta in pursuit of all their lapdance needs and (Double Bonus!) HBO could use it as a casting session for three-quarters of their programming! (Is it just us, or does HBO feature an inordinate number of shows featuring strippers and ho's?!?) Of course, the winning stripper will receive the coveted Hairy Palm d'Whore!

When last we uploaded, we were headed to the Artist vs. Industry Basketball game. This year's scrimmage was well-attended but past shirt provider (and
sponsor) Roots had been replaced by American Apparel, who provided the industry with retro-style (70's vintage) kelly green shirts with white trim. Hmmm... Somewhat Village People-ish, a little nerdish. While we appreciate a free T, this one is destined to become a shoe polish rag in record time! The game? Oh! The game!



Well, once again, some not-so-wiseguy signed the signup sheet in the Delta Lobby as "Mike Hunt." Ah, yes-- That gag never gets old.

This year, however, more folks signed up on the Industry side! And-- get this-- unlike in years past, many of them were well under the age of dead! They had springy flesh and clear eyes! (Much like the fish at your finer seafood outlets!) And they could hoop! And they were aggressive! Which was one reason that the Male Half of the Staff played only for a brief time. "Hey... I think we're in danger of winning... which is why I'm
limiting my minutes!" is how he put it to the alpha male on the team who doubled as coach and spiritual leader.

The ratio of aggressive play to health insurance was far too high! People from both sides were hitting the hardwood-- and rolling! I mosied on down to the opposing teams shootaround and made my traditional pre-game announcement: All right, people: I've got no health insurance, so no elbows! And then, speaking directly to Alonzo Bodden: It's only a rebound! To which Bodden responded, under his breath, "Yeah... but we need those rebounds." Hmmm... ominous. Not a good sign.

I got my stat (an assist on a basket by straight.com's Guy McPherson) and
took a permanent seat on the sidelines. That stat, btw, was a perfect pass-- off my knee. Hey, a stat's a stat.

Standouts? That John Caponera can hoop! Cleveland native (and L.A. resident) David Arnold lit up the Industry for several points in the second half of the game. (He was shut down for several minutes early on by the Male Half of the Staff's superb defense. "Actually, I got lucky... and I used psychological warfare-- I dubbed him "Hot Air Jordan" so distracting him that he was taken off his game.")

The aforementioned McPherson racked up impressive numbers for the Industry in their losing effort. We didn't catch the final score, but we understand the Artists triumphed by a measly three points. Last year's gap was four points, so that means that Industry should eventually triumph in the year 2009.


Enss Mitchell (Comedy Union, L.A.), David Arnold, Ben Bailey at the Delta

After the ballgame, there was a super-secret party, hosted somewhere by Comedy Network. And it seems that the only people who knew about it were Canadian! Hey, what gives? We desperately tried to start an international incident, but to no avail. We briefly considered crashing it, but we hit the Delta bar and lost all incentive, stopping to quaff a Rickard's Red or two with the likes of Joe Starr (and wife Francine), George Sarris (N.Y.U.C.F impresario) and Ed Byrne. Stopping by briefly were Gary Gulman, Jeremy Hotz and Marc Ryan. Who needs a super secret party?

There was a not-so-secret party the night before at the cavernous upstairs
space at the JFL HQ on St. Laurent. Dubbed "Montreal @ Midnight,"
there was a live band and plenty of Labatt's in the house... and on the house. Fortunately, for those of us who enjoy the company of others-- and the art of conversation-- there was a somewhat quieter wing off to the side, where shouting wasn't necessary. All the while, a small army of attractive, young Montrealers stopped by on regular intervals offering us bruschetta, egg rolls and General Tso's chicken! All of it well prepared and beautifully presented! That's a party!

Jeffery Ross stopped by, thanking us for saying such nice things about his
movie. We thanked him for making it. 24 hours later Ross would learn that his film was the recipient of the Comedia Award, a sort of a Palme d'Or handed to that film ajudged to stand out among the rest. The award, we were
told this morning was to be officially presented earlier this evening at a ceremony at 7:30. We suspect (and certainly hope) that this honor will pave the way for Ross to obtain assistance in distributing his movie and reaching a wider audience. Note: This award is not to be confused with the aforementioned Hairy Palm d'Or.


Sharilyn Johnson (Winnipeg journo) and Rick Bronson

This year, the Masters featured Kitty Flanagan, Jeff Caldwell, Robert Hawkins, Ben Bailey, David Arnold, Michael Loftus, Keith Robinson and Jake Johannsen doing two shows Friday night at Kola Note.

SHECKYmagazine.com is keepin' it reel, yo!

That's not a typo. It's what we privately dubbed our strategy here at this year's fest. We decided to eschew live comedy performances (not that there's anything wrong with that!) in favor of sampling some of the healthy crop of fine standup comedy related (or standup comic-produced) movies and short films.

For the past three or four years, when we've applied for our JFL press creds, we've been asked to fill out a request form that names our top three choices for events that we'd like to get tickets to. Trouble is the application process (and the ticket request process) takes place weeks before the festival, in May! By the time the actual fest rolls around, and we find ourselves actually at the Delta perusing all the handouts and press materials, placards, cards and posters, we've totally forgotten what we've "put in for" and, to be quite honest, in some cases, we've lost all incentive (for reasons many and varied) to attend some event or another which, weeks earlier, seemed like a good idea! Make no mistake, the fine folks at JFL have been more than accomodating; and we've gotten a surprising number of the tix we've requested-- and therein lies part of the problem! This year, for instance, we used not one of the tickets that JFL graciously supplied to us. And we felt bad about that. In years past, the system was looser-- Folks would amble by the press office, inquire as to the possibility of getting into this event or that, and fest officials would make a decision based on some sort of yield management voodoo. Apparently, that system was inferior and the new one was instituted. Compounding the problem is the fact that the new system (to a greater extent than the old one) depends in part on a phone call... and we are incommunicado the entire time we're in Montreal! (The Royal Vic doesn't have phones and our cell phone doesn't work in Canada!)

So, next year, we've decided not to put in for any tickets in advance and take our chances. We'll use any connections we might have, scramble to get on guest lists, use our charm, our juice (such as it may be) and craft our attendance and coverage on the fly. BTW: We'd like to thank Emery Emery, Robert Hawkes and the fine folks at ThinkFilm for getting us tickets to The Aristocrats!

And we'd like to express our regret at never getting on over to the Eat My Twisted Shorts program on Friday afternoon. We had every intention of seeing Texan Tom Hester's "Fistful of Pills," which was on the bill with a host of other shorts. The pre- and post-screening talk on the movie was positive. (Perhaps we'll bug Hester to send us a DVD!)



Keith Robinson (left) and SHECKYmagazine editor Brian McKim started out in the Philly comedy scene

We caught "The Comedians of Comedy" movie Saturday night at the
Monument Nationale. It was a filmed account of a mini-tour by a group of alternative comics of "unconventional venues." The tour (and, we assume, the film) was arranged in part by comic Patton Oswalt and featured Brian Posehn, Maria Bamford and Zach Galafiniakis. Spooky or what: The movie starts out with Oswalt describing an incident that occured at the Comedy Factory Outlet in Baltimore which was owned at the time of the incident by Clay Heery, who was, at one time, the Female Half of the Staff's brother-in-law! (Cue Paul Harvey: "Now you know... the rest of the story!")

The movie was, to use a favorite alternative comic phrase, "soul crushing." It is ironic that a movie about comics could be so downbeat. Nearly everything that seemed to motivate Oswalt was negative-- Comedy clubs suck; comedy club audiences suck; his target audience (18-24 year olds) don't make any money; everything sucks, sucks, sucks. Four funny comics, to be sure. But the frame, the underlying themes, the entire raison d'etre of this celluloid exercise was to combat the mediocrity that Oswalt sees in every nook and cranny of the planet... except perhaps when he looks in the mirror. How utterly un-SHECKYlike. To quote our new favorite TV executive and spiritual guru, the Eeyore-esque Moses Znaimer: "Such talented people; such ho-hum ideas." On the positive side, we applaud anyone who, like Oswalt, assesses his current situation, deems it unacceptable and then takes giant, innovative steps to change it and takes trusted and talented colleagues along for the ride. Very SHECKYlike.

Buzz? You want to know about buzz? Although we here feel that the concept of buzz is against everything we stand for, here you go: Scottish comic Danny Bhoy. Everybody was talking about Danny Bhoy. And Three Blonde Moms, starring Mary Ellen Hooper, Joan Fagan and Helen Keaney. Sounds like a sitcom waiting to happen.

Gotta pack it in. Exit 29 is coming up. The site uses a blog format, so, if we have anything more to add as we digest the experiences of the past 96 hours and as we plow through the pile of stuff we picked up or if we get worked up over something, we'll post it. So check back. But, then, we don't have to tell you to do that, do we? Thanks.

That was fun... let's do it again! Take me back to THE FIRST posting!

"How are you doing?" We were asked Wednesday night. After a moment of reflection, we replied, "Placid." That's right. This year, we're placid, the root of which is Latin placidus, from placEre to please. We are, in the dictionary's first sense of the word, "serenely free of interruption or disturbance."


Kerri Louise Cotter gamely attempts to dine while Tom Cotter wrangles the twin Cotter tots. All while being filmed by a camera crew in the restaurant at the Delta.

"Yeah...a monster...with no lines and a sweater vest."

What do the following people/entities have in common?

Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, Killer Beaz, Andy Kindler, Larry David, Still Standing, Mark Addy, Jamie Gertz, Jay Leno, Ed Hall, Jamie Masada, George W. Bush, The Laugh Factory, George Lopez, Pauly Shore, Don Rickles, Kathy Griffin, John Leguizamo, Law & Order S.V.U., Carlos Mencia, The Mind of Mencia w/Carlos Mencia, American Idol, The William Morris Agency, ringtones, Zeppo Marx, Tom Cruise, Fox Television, Committed, Mork & Mindy (the telemovie), Robin Williams, Robert Blake, Jimmy Fallon, Entourage, Jeremy Piven, Rock Star INXS, According to Jim, Jim Belushi, Fat Actress, Jeff Zucker, Tina Fey, Adam Sandler, the Wayans Brothers, Rosie O'Donnell

Time's up. They were all used or abused by Andy Kindler in his tenth State of the Industry address.


Emery Emery (who edited The Aristocrats) and Tommy James (former Big Mover) at the S.O.T.I.A.

A packed Delta ballroom buzzed with anticipation as comic Eddie Pepitone took the podium and, in character as the head of "ASSHACK" (an acronym for an association of all the show business people harmed in one way or another by Andy Kindler), he delivered a fiery (and side-splitting) "speech" denouncing Kindler and his smug show business pronouncements. (Of course, the speech was written by Kindler himself!) It was an appropriate kickoff for this, the Tin Anniversary of the S.O.T.I.A. (That's not a typo. You're supposed to give gifts made of tin.)

This was a different SOTIA, not just because of the care with which the intro was crafted, but because on the other end, it was capped off with a film clip. (It is worth noting that there were no adjectives preceding the words "film clip." It is a tribute to Kindler that we are running out of ways to say "wildly funny.") It was eight minutes long and it amply demonstrated Kindler's understanding of the business of television and his deep sorrow that the medium has failed miserably to live up not only to his standards but to even the barest minimum of standards. It was a demo reel for Kindler that might finally answer the question, "What can we do with Andy Kindler?" (The short answer should be, "Anything he wants!") In a perfect world, it would bring to a screeching halt every reality show currently in production. In this imperfect world, it evokes tears of laughter.

Priceless moments: Kindler actually watching paint dry. (Ya hadda be there.) A beautiful, (and lengthy! And gloriously tedious!) documentation of Kindler tying first one shoe... and then the other.


Joe Starr's wife Francine, Joe Starr and Joe Starr's friend Ed Byrne. (It's all about Joe Starr... go ahead, ask him, he'll tell ya.)

In a "breakdown" conversation about the film clip afterward, with Kindler and Eddie Brill (after the Hollywood Reporter party was chased indoors by rain), Kindler lamented a "laugh line that didn't get a laugh," to which, Brill replied, "Andy, if it didn't get a laugh... it's not a laugh line." (Delivered, of course, with Brill's grin. It's in the running for line of the Fest.)

We understand the HR party gained strength and vigor after it was moved. We, however, were stricken by an intense desire to get horizontal. (Editors note: It has come to our attention that the phrase "get horizontal" may be interpreted as a euphemism for sexual intercourse. Ew. How creepy! Sorry. All we did was take a nap!) We trekked back, in the rain, to our accomodations and rested up. Friday night, we would be heading to the Imperial Theater to see "The Aristocrats," the Paul Provenza-directed and Penn Jillette-produced documentary about the filthiest joke ever.


Melane Hotz, Jeremy Hotz, Marcus Hotz (Mother, Son, Father) at the Studio du Musee Juste Pour Rire for the Montreal at Midnight soiree. Note: Several of the above e's require at small grave above them, as does the e in grave. The one above Melane, the second one in Musee and possibly the second one in soiree. HTML's a bitch.


As the lights went down at the packed Imperial, and the film began, we felt mildly bad about ourselves for having been in the comedy business for 20+ years and having never heard the joke that formed the nucleus of the film we were about to see. In the Q & A afterward, we were greatly relieved to hear Jake Johannsen and Doug Stanhope admit that they, too, were ignorant of the gag. They sat on high studio chairs on the giant Imperial stage, post-screening, along with Jillette, Provenza, Judy Gold, Jeffery Ross and Greg Rogell, and fielded questions from the crowd.

The Ft. Worth Star-Telegram called it "a pointed and raucous celebration of free spech in America." They miss the point entirely. The point is made at least twice in the movie that the joke is rarely told in public. Speech isn't so much the star here as language. A not so subtle distinction. Language and style and the mechanics of a simple joke. And how comics amuse themselves. How indeed!

We haven't enjoyed watching a movie that is so totally about enjoying being a standup comic since we saw a screening of "Let Me In I Hear Laughter, " the documentary about the history of the Friars Club. Like "Let Me In..." Aristocrats features a who's who of standup comics who are beside themselves with joy over the fact that they are comics. Discussing and analyzing, in the minutest detail, a facet of their craft makes them... ecstatic. Why is that? Because, really, no one ever really asks. On the rare occsions when someone does ask, it's usually someone who expects (and consequently gets) a routine answer. Not so with this flick. All who participated (and there were many!) had that twinkle in their eye. In fact, the closing credits featured nothing but each interviewee cackling wildly!

The movie should put to rest the insidious myth that comics sit around and top each other because they're insecure, competitive and bitter. They do it because, quite often, they can. And it's a blast! The Aristocrats is not unlike the Home Run Contest at the annual MLB All-Star Game. We all know what a home run looks like. And all the players know what it feels like to hit one. But the hitters take great joy and pride in participating. And the fans can't get enough of it.

Is it filthy? Well... sure! But that's not the point, either.

Here's a conversation that has taken place many times, between two comics:

Hey, I saw Otto & George for the first time last week.

What did you think?

They were FILTHY! It was hilarious! It was really FILHTY!

Here's a conversation you'll never hear:

Hey, I saw Otto & George for the first time last week.

What did you think?

Well, I personally was not offended, but it was filthy!

The idea of being offended doesn't even enter into it. We are over the offensive/not offensive thing. We are unshockable. But we love the attempt.

Trying to figure out what might make a comic laugh is somewhat analogous to figuring out what arouses a porn star on his or her day off. To an average person, that might be very shocking. To the porn star? Not so much.

Stay tuned. We gotta break up today's update into two hunks. We are off to the Artist vs. Industry Basketball game.



Simon Rakoff and Mike McDonald (the symbol for which is Fe, if we remember our Periodic Table of Comedy Elements correctly)

Take me to SATURDAY's Update!

It looks rather like one of those engagement pictures in the Times, does it not? Actually, it's just that Gary Gulman and Traci Skene are good at posing. Both appear to be the color of eggplants. Neither are, in reality, the color of eggplants.

The identities of the New Faces has been leaked.

W. Kamu Bell
Joe DeRosa
Rachel Feinstein
Joe Koy
Jamie Kaler
Jay Larson
April Macie
James Smith
Michael Somerville
Ryan Wilner
Craig Baldo
Andy Campbell
Alan Carr
Dan Cummins
Felipe Esparza
Rhod Gilbert
Louis Katz
Natasha Leggero
Jasper Redd
Sugar Sammy

A couple of those names are rather familiar, no? We've seen Craig Baldo's name somewhere... and didn't Ryan Wilner come in second in the Homegrown competition in 1999? Mind you we're not complaining. Maybe the criteria are changing... or the aim of the showcase. Hmmm... And Sugar Sammy was one of the pitchers in Just For Pitching last year, we think. Maybe Just For Pitching is a back door into the JFL. Is "back door" a pejorative term? No. Just a term.


Franz Harary (left) in intense, post-pitching mode with Moses Znaiman. Harary's "Beat the Chimp" game show idea was a hoot!

Speaking of Just For Pitching, the bleachers at Delta ballroom jammed with the usual "sellout" crowd for this year's edition of the pitch party. As usual, Pat Ferns, the mastermind of the whole thing, was dead center. The panel of suits had changed somewhat, with only Brent Haynes, from CTV, the only repeater from JFP's past. The other were, from left to right (if you were a pitcher), Anton Leo (CBC), Moses Znaimer (MZTV), Graham Smith (Channel 5/U.K.), Samie Falvey (Fox) and Stuart Krasnow (Krasnow Productions). We were disappointed that there was no Anne Maney (Fox), as she usually provides the most yocks from the Exec side of the aisle. But Znaimer, a Fest rookie, more than made up for Maney's absence with his droll delivery, his weary demeanor, his astute observations-- and he provided actual belly laughs when he repeatedly antagonized colleague Haynes, who was on Znaimer's immediate right. (Znaimer's delivery is Eeyore meets Garrison Keillor, to put it in the pitching vernacular.) Their back and forth was worth the price of admission. It's always fun to see suits get into a somewhat philosophical discussion of the biz. Even more so when one of the suits (Haynes in this case) regularly spouts puzzling-- and somewhat horse manuric (is that a word?)-- statements. Haynes isn't the only one, of course. They all spin out a steady stream of such statements-- they all seem to be quoting from a sort of an I Ching of television production. ("The days of taking a fat guy, giving him a hot wife and building a successful sitcom around it are gone." "The current situation is liberating but overwhelming...it's an inspiring time to be in comedy... but it's scary.") At least they all got through the afternoon without once using the word "interstitial!" (Whither Comedy Central's Lew Wallach?)

Jay Malone & Mark Bennett, Franz Harary, Gord Paynter, D.C. Benny & Jason Sokoloff, Peter Grumbine, Julia Morris, Carole Ducharme and Joe Matarese & Matt Bellace were the eight pitchers/teams and the eight pitches moved quite well. Overall quality was up from last year.

The sitcom is the hardest thing to pitch in this setting. Four sitcoms were pitched with varying degrees of success-- "Hostel House," "Blind Faith" "The Home" and "Over The Rainbows."

Julia Morris (wearing a tiara!) and illusionist Franz Harary used their personalities very well to sell their ideas and both pitches were peppy in the execution and garnered lots of laughs and much positive feedback. They may have been the only two who didn't complain about the five-minute time restriction for pitches!

D.C. Benny and Peter Grumbine did a swell job of selling themselves. And, as we opined in this very feature last year, selling oneself might be the most important thing one can do in these types of situations. (And, if they get even the slightest whiff that today's idea might possibly be your only idea, you are pitching toast!


Aristocrats produder/director performs bloodless, open-heart surgery on Lewis Black at the Delta Bar. Here we see Provenza deftly installing a shunt. With a smile!

So andrenalinated was Peter Grumbine that he used the word "shit" in his pitch. He also managed to coin a new term, "two-joke pony." (In response to a criticism that his sitcom might be, in Fox's Falvey's words, a "one-joke pony.") But our favorite moment in his pitch (and quite possibly in the entire afternoon) was when he said, with complete sincerity, "When one senior citizen gets the clap, it's not that funny... but when all the senior citizens get the clap-- it's hilarious!" In context, that actually made sense!)

The only show that had actual standup in it was the one envisioned by Joe Matarese and his third cousin, psychologist and comedian Matt Bellace. Their trailer for "What's So Funny" (described by the two as "Premium Blend meets Dr. Phil") featured comics Jim Norton and Artie Lange. The premise is that the comics do standup and then get psychoanalyzed on the spot by Bellace. Their underlying premise being that all comics are fucked in the head and that America would like to look over Bellace's shoulder while he peers inside their skulls. Matarese serves as the liason between the world of psychoanalysis and standup. Of course, we here at SHECKYmagazine are constantly trying to stamp out the notion that standup comics are, as a rule, narcissistic and self-indulgent. Bellace told us (on a later shuttle ride) that he was aware of our crusade. We good-naturedly busted his chops for holding that opinion, even though it was the lynchpin of their entire project.) In spite of our opposition to the nasty stereotypes it might help to perpetuate, we still thought that most of the criticism of it were unfounded. (We think TV execs are narcissistic and self-indulgent! So there!) And that video was well-produced. One more thing: To the exec who doubted that people would find the show entertaining? Uhh... in their quest to create the pitch video, Matarese and Bellace actually did the show at least twice, in front of live audiences and what they showed Thursday afternoon was videotaped evidence that their show was indeed entertaining. All those people howling with laughter and applauding on the tape was our first clue!


Joe Matarese and Matt Bellace at National Monument for the screening of Jeffery Ross' Patriot Act

One annoying tendency: Like we said, complaining about "only having five minutes," in which to pitch. Hello? We comics only have 4:30 to essentially pitch ourselves and our standup acts when we appear on nationally televised late-night talk shows. It is possible to get a lot done in that short window... and it is best to consider every possibility and, well, get 'er done. Another annoying tendency: Being defensive. We hasten to distinguish between defending one's idea and being defensive. Taking offense at the sometimes less than diplomatic critique of a TV exec is pointless, counter-productive and exactly what they want. (It is best to consider what is said with bemusement. Try to remain calm and try to recall that they use terms like "factual entertainment" with a straight face.)

It was fascinating to see that there were eight pitches and eight different approaches to pitching! Some people took the barebones approach, some had taped packages, one combined a verbal presentation supplemented with a videotape of... opening credits!


Brian McKim (left) and self-portrait with Jeff Ross. (With cropping input from Ross himself)

Jeffery Ross has made a tremendous film called "Patriot Act." Drew Carey, Kathy Kinney, Blake Clark, Kyle Dunnigan, Andres Fernandez, Rocky Laporte and Larry Gelbart are featured in this travelogue/documentary about a USO comedy tour of the dangerous Sunni triangle just months after the fall of Baghdad.

The film, written and directed by Ross, invokes the memory of the recently departed Bob Hope in its early minutes and hearkens back to him in song throughout. In the voiceover, he admits to being blissfully ignorant about matters military. He quite honestly states that, if he had any preconceived notions about the men and women who fight wars for America, they were notions that were fuzzy, ill-defined or based in outright falsehoods. The film isn't just a home movie of a bunch of comics entertaining weary soldiers in a battle zone, it's a startling and eloquent account of one man's acquisition of an entire set of ideas-- about war, about the people who fight it, about the people touched by it. In the Q & A afterward, he states his transformation thusly: "Going through this experience didn't change my politics about the war... it gave me politics about the war." Ross is a fine documentary filmmaker. He tells the story that the MSM has, by and large and for various reasons, neglected to tell.

And Ross isn't the only one undergoing a transformation of sorts. We were touched by Blake Clark, a veteran of two tours of Viet Nam, and his metamorphosis. In the early going, he's Blake Clark-- no different from the Blake Clark that one might encounter during a week at the Punchline in Atlanta. By movie's end, after an intense four days of hopping through the desert and performing on the back of flatbed trucks and chopper hangars in some of the most desolate outposts in Iraq, it's obvious that he's opened up a couple of old wounds, but that he's healed a couple as well.

Drew Carey's efforts on behalf of the USO and the servicemen and women are staggering. All the moreso when you consider the low profile he's fought hard to maintain with regard to these dangerous and grueling tours. Bob Hope, it can be said with certainty, did more than any human being to comfort and entertain American troops. But Hope's modus operandi involved newsreel cameras and, later, television specials. Perhaps this isn't so much because of who Hope was, but because of the public's attitude toward war and service. Times change, Hope passes on and people like Carey carry on with his mission but in a decidedly low-key way. We suspect that Carey might be a bit uncomfortable that a film such as this one might bring too much attention to his efforts! We, however, are glad that such a record of these acts exist. They might inspire others to do the same. (We're certainly inspired! We've done some stateside military show,, of coure, but we've told Carey's management that we're in if they need us, if they'd have us.)

Did you know that comedy actually happens in other locations when Just For Laughs is going on? It's true. We have, as evidence, a straight.com article by Guy McPherson on Toronto-based comedian Derek Edwards, who is playing Yuks in Vancouver this weekend.

Edwards, who is as naturally funny and likable off-stage as on-, has no desire to enter the computer age. "I just don’t need another thing I gotta do all day. Somehow, with all the time I have off, I feel pressed for time. I’m often winded for no reason. So I don’t need 15 e-mails I gotta reply to because somebody thinks I’m an asshole [since] I didn’t get back to them."

Ohhh... so that's how that works!


Curious Lighting: Eddie Izzard (right) and his spiritual advisor Marc Ryan. Actually, Ryan's a comic... it's just that, in this picture, he looks to be... glowing... beatific, even. Photoshopped in, to be quite honest! (At the Delta, of course!)

Etan Vlessing, writing for Reuters, filed an error-filled article from the Festival, "Sitcom Downturn no laughing matter for comics." He misidentifies Kelly Taylor as "Kelly Thomas," misspells Angelo Tsarouchas (understandable, maybe... we're not even sure if we got it right!) and calls Frank Spadone "Frank Spadino!" Other than that, it's a boo-hoo piece about how nobody gets signed to sitcoms immediately upon dismount. There's lots of attention paid to one-man shows and this gem from Stuart Krasnow:

"If Hulk Hogan can carry a sitcom about his life, then comics should also consider possibilities for work in hybrid reality/comedy shows," Krasnow said after participating in the Just For Pitching session Thursday afternoon.

Huh? Wha? Krasnow actually made sense during Just For Pitching... perhaps he was misquoted. Judging from the oodles of misspellings, it's a distinct possibility.


"Evil Traci!" That's right, the Female Half of the Staff is in disguise this year. Lots of double takes as folks fail to recognize the formerly blond editrix of SHECKYmagazine. General consensus: Traci gets brass balls point for bravery. Blondes never go the other way (we mean hair color wise), especially 48 hours before a major Fest. The Male Half of the Staff is also getting points... for seemingly acquiring a new spouse! So far, Traci has been likened to Betty Page, Cleopatra, Natasha (from Rocky & Bullwinkle) and a "Ooh! I like the Elvira look!" Traci told CJAD listeners that it she was going for the Goth Soccer Mom look that's sweeping the suburbs. (Self indulgent? Actually, we're running the pic in response to a request!)

Take me to FRIDAY's Update!

Seven years? Let's see... '99, '00, ummm... That's right, this is our seventh year covering the Just For Laughs Festival. Each year, right before we take off, we think something terrible will happen-- This will be the year that JFL won't grant us Media passes and won't let us back in to cover it. This will be the year that we won't be able to write about anything. This'll be the year that we've finally pissed off so many people that we'll round the corner at the Delta we'll be reviled; the object of scorn.

Of course, it's probably just the fatigue talking. The road will do that. As will oppresssive heat and humidity. Bounced checks, the usual. Whatever it is, it's totally unfounded. Hell, if Andy Kindler is welcome up here year after year, after saying the vicious things he says, anyone is welcome, right? What is one year of our humble publication's squeaks and moans compared to his annual hourlong tirades? Nothing! We're here. Again! We do no harm. We cause no consternation, we are merely a diversion. A cat toy to the giant striped tabby that is the standup comedy industry!

Having said that, we took precautions. We changed our appearance. The Male Half of the Staff bleached his hair and now looks like a member of the '02 Rumanian national soccer team. The Female Half went jet black. Perhaps we'll escape any possible scorn by claiming mistaken identity.

Of course, there's a danger in changing one's appearance at a gathering such as this one. If you don't look like you usually do, there's the increased possibility that someone will "go owl" on you. That's a term we coined at SHECKYmagazine HQ. It's when you accost someone whom you've had meaningful dialogue with in the past, you say your name and they say, "Who?" It's very strange to experience. It can get to you if you let it. ("I can't believe it! We talked for a half an hour! He showed me pictures of his dog! Six months later, I see him, the sonofabitch went owl on me!") It's just a symptom of sensory overload. Sensory overload combined with life-altering schmoozing and anxiety over sets yet to be performed or sets past. Fortunately, it doesn't happen often. If we contribute anything to this crazy world, let it be the term "he went owl on me!" (Note: We even have variations on it, in case it eventually suffers from overuse. Consider: "He went strigiform on me!" A bit more obscure or intellectual, but it gets the point across.) (Editors note: 72 hours later, comedian Greg Rogell showed SHECKYmagazine editor Brian McKim a photograph of his dog. This is strictly coincidental. The above comments do not mean to imply that Mr. Rogell would ever "go owl" on Mr. McKim.)

Our Festival contact, upon laying our laminates on us (and upon seeing us flip them over to see which venues the bearer was entitled to enter with said laminate), said, "It doesn't get you into a whole lot." Indeed! And the list grows smaller every year!

Fortunately, one of the places we can get into is the Monument National. It's a theater and they're screening three of the four of the films we dearly want to see this year: "Hell Gig Reunion," which is the presentation of the edited footage shot during the Hell Gig America ("50 Days, 50 Shows, 50 States!") and will be marked by an appearance by all three of the principal comics from the tour, John Wessling, Tommy Drake and Chuck Savage. "Patriot Act," a short film directed by Jeffery Ross, a documentary about Drew Carey and others performing in Iraq. And "The Comedians of Comedy Tour," a docu about four comedians (Brian Posehn, Patton Oswalt, Maria Bamford and Zach Galifianakis) on tour.

The other movie, at the Imperial Cinema, is "The Aristocrats." We've posted a ton on that and you know the deal.


Brian McKim, Howard Lapides, Eramelinda Boquer, Adam Gilad, Kent Emmons, Traci Skene at the Delta!

We headed over to the Delta last night with the ultimate intention of heading over to Monument National (it's a theater, not a monument) to see "Hell Gig Reunion," the hastily edited and cut final product of over 200 hours of video shot during the Hell Gig America Tour.


Tommy Drake, Chuck Savage and John Wessling at the Monument National

And there they were, Tommy Drake, Chuck Savage and John Wessling, being interviewed by the CJAD folks in the Delta mezzanine. After their interview, we were invited to plug our humble publication to all the CJAD audience as well! (Which we did.) Also conducting the interrogation were Kent Emmons, chairman and founder of Comedy Express TV and Adam Gilad, programming director of National Lampoon Radio (of which Mr. Emmons is also the chairman and CEO).

We knew that Wessling intended to make a movie out of the adventure, but we had no idea we'd be seeing the finished product. this soon. During the changeover, we secured tickets to the screening from Drake, and headed over as soon as we got off the air.

As Wessling tells it, the three (and their respective better halves) were in the airport in Hawaii, finished with the Hell Gigs and awaiting a flight back to the Mainland, when an email from the JFL folks asked if they could exhibit the filmed record of their adventure six weeks hence in Montreal.

50 days of hell gigs were then followed up by six weeks of frantic editing- all leading up to this evening. The exhausted threesome presented their baby last night to an appreciative crowd at the MN, then took Q & A for a while afterward. (We hasten to add that, during the Q & A Wessling thanked the fine folks at SHECKYmagazine.com-- for their assistance in getting out the word-- as well as our table mate (and SHECKYmagazine Big Mover), Paul Ogata, for his assistance in swinging the Kona, Hawaii, venue, which turned out to be a bowling alley!)


Paul Ogata at the Comedia presentation of "Hell Gig Reunion" at Monument National

XMRadio's Joel Haas was also in attendance. Haas and XM lent support to the Hell Gig tour and the Roady made it into a few shots, but, as Haas noted with exasperation, "It was never turned on!!"

The film did a splendid job of portraying comics as normal people. Creative people, to be sure. But most people envision travelling comics zooming down the highway mooning other drivers or tossing televisions into the pool. Drake noted that of the 50 gigs, 37 were actually paid gigs. "And the money we made was enough to cover... tolls... and some gas." Also appearing in the film were Ralphie May, Carl Labove, Marc Ryan, Peter Grumbine, Sandy Hackett and Schully. There was a particularly touching sequence that featured interviews with the recently departed Mitch Hedberg's parents.

(Also worth noting: Our own Big Mover, Ogata, was in town coincidentally to attend the FantAsia Film Festival (fantasiafestival.com). Seems he was the featured performer in a short film, "Amazing Asian," which was part of the Asian film festival's superhero-oriented "Square Jaw Theatre." Check out Ogata's website. Ogata assures SHECKYmagazine readers that the move to L.A. is imminent and that he'll bang out an installment or two of The Big Move when it happens!)


Brian McKim and Jon Dore

The Homegrown Comedy Competition, hosted by Jon Dore, was held Wednesday night at Cabaret Music Hall. The winner was Kyle Radke and Kelly Taylor came in second. The participants were: Mark Bennett, Jasen Frederickson, Jy Harris, Dylan Mandlsohn, Ben Miner, Erica Sigurdson and Kwasi Thomas.

We had the pleasure of working with Kelly Taylor at last year's Calgary FunnyFest. And we also had the pleasure of being present the very first time Mr. Dore ever mounted a stage. It was at the now defunct Goodfellows in Ottawa, in 1998! (We remember the year, because we were enthralled by the CBC coverage of the Nagano Olympics-- live, a lot of it! The Female Half of the Staff was especially enamored of the curling coverage (her Scottish heritage?) and was, for a time, the only American comic doing a Sandra Schmirler (may she rest in peace) impression!

The Delta reached critical mass at about midnight. Not a sweaty, heaving mass like on the weekends, but a healthy, party-size crowd. And what would a gathering at JFL's Delta be without a conga line of transvestites? The Kinsey Sicks, on the Evening at Eve's Tavern, are men. Let it sink in: Evening at Eve's Tavern... all-girl show... men... in dresses. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but the Female Half of the Staff was disturbed at the Las Vegas Fest a coupla years back when the all-girl show she was on was hosted by famous cross-dresser Kenny Kerr. "Stop with the chicks with dicks on the all-girls shows!" she implores. "Aren't there enough funny vaginas to go around?" She also points out the irony of the transvestites being the only "women" on the bill wearing dresses! PS, she adds: They'e not chicks with dicks, rather, they are men with boobs! (Since dying the hair black, she has become "Evil Traci!" A rather soap operatic doppelganger that is a bit edgier than her old, blonde self.)

The other folks on the Eve's Tavern show (who were anatomically correct) were: Kathleen Madigan, Deb DiGiovanni, Kyra Soltanovich, Sommore, Tracy Esposito, Kitty Flanagan and Erin Foley.

While waiting in line for a Labatt's, we were greeted warmly by Chrysi Rubin, the proprietor of the Edmonton Yuk Yuks, whom, you may recall was heavily featured in our postings on the Andy Dick row last April. In tow was her father as well (the owner of the joint)!

We head over to Just For Pitching this afternoon. One of the potential pitchers assured us that he had closely studied our coverage of the past two Just For Pitchings! How about that? We're able to help out!

We had some tech difficulties this AM, but they've been ironed out with the use of Picasa (a free photo editing and uploading utility from Google) and hello (an adjunct program to Picasa) that has enabled us to upload our pics to our blog when our FTP client failed to let us into the server! We highly recommend both programs in a pinch!

Take me to THURSDAY'S Update!

We crossed the USA/Canada border today at 1 PM. Got to the Royal Vic at about 2:17, encountering no traffic whatsoever. By 2:50 PM, the male half of the staff had already returned from the Delta, having procured Media laminates and place a stack of Poker Tournament announcements on the table in the Delta lobby. (Spotted Alonzo Bodden and Greg Proops while on the way to the lobby.)

Large post to follow. In the meantime, you can occupy your time by practicing The Canadian Hymne National, "O Canada!"

O Canada! Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
From far and wide, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.
God Keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

If you really wanna spice it up, try reading the lyrics like somebody at one of those poetry slams. Or, if you're from Philly, sing it as "Yo Canada!" (The male half of the staff has the most annoying problem: Every time he tries to recall the melody of O Canada, his brain segues into "Eres Tu" the horrible song that reached #9 on the charts in 1974, sung by Mocedades. Of course, now that we've mentioned this, the same curse will befall a significant number of you as well. Thank us later.)

Go to the 2005 UPDATES, please!

Okay, okay, when you compare it to some of the big, fat televised poker tournaments out there today, $1,000-- a thousand smackers!-- isn't the biggest payoff in the world of live poker. But let's get a hold of ourselves: You kick in $60, you play poker for a couple hours with some of you nearest and dearest (or newest!) friends and BAMMO! (If you win) you walk home with ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS! (And a beautiful silk-screened T-shirt with the logo of the SHECKYmagazine Comics Only Poker Tournament on the front)

Or, you stagger across to the Four Queens and blow it all on pina coladas and blackjack!

Either way, we figure it this way: It's a great opportunity to fly (or carpool across the desert) into Vegas Wednesday night, hang out with standup comics from all over the English-speaking world in downtown Vegas (at the low, low rate of $39/night at Binion's), then plunge the next morning (THU, NOV. 17, 2005) into the world of Medium-Stakes Poker!

(We paint a lovely picture. But, just ask anyone who was at our First Ever Comics-Only Reunion what kind of a time they had! We managed to entice 125 comics or so from all over the US of A to converge on Vegas for the sole purpose of hanging out in Glitter Gulch for three days with their comedy brethren and sistren... that's it-- just hanging out! This time-- WE GOT POKER!!!)

AND, if your calendar happens to be open that weekend, there's a big, fat HBO/TBS Comedy Festival on the strip till the 20th. With all kinds of comedy stars and shows and publicity. Their website promises details on that in the coming weeks.

And in the coming weeks/months, we intend to provide you with details, hints, etc. All designed to do three things: Entice you to participate in the tournament, overcome any fears you may have of playing live poker and sharpen your poker playing skills! That's right: Joe Lowers will be providing our readers with original poker articles which draw on his experience as a real, live poker player. (Joe currently resides in Las Vegas, so he knows of what he speaks.)

Never played live poker before? C'mon out! It will be fun! We'll go easy on you!

Played before, but only with friends on the occasional Monday night? A little intimidated by a real tourney in a real casino? We'll address that! (Trust us, you'll be surrounded by comics-- it won't be all that different from what you experience in at Poker Night in somebody's basement!)

Are you a competent player who has an eye toward the WSOP? C'mon, bitch! We'll take your money!

The male half of the staff recently wrote about his experience in his first live poker tournament (a $17 buy-in at Circus-Circus in Reno this past July... scroll down and check it out!). He found it to be quite exhilarating... and not at all as scary as he thought it might be.

And here's the dirty little secret of the Poker World: If you get hammered real bad in the first round or so, you can do what they call a Re-Buy: That's right, it's like a do-over! If you suck real bad (or if the cards you're dealt suck real bad) and you wind up getting tapped in record time, you can just kick in another $20 and BLAMMO! You're in the hunt again, just like nothing ever happened! (Of course, there are limits to the Re-Buy thing-- you can't just do that indefinitely, but we'll outline all that in the coming weeks.) Ah, Poker! the Great Equalizer!

And, we'll encourage interested parties to download poker software that educates and entertains. And, we'll also encourage prospective tournament participants to maybe even hop onto the occasional live, online poker tournaments (some for money, others not!) to acquire and/or sharpen their skills!

Tell a friend. We want this to be a rare opportunity for standup comics to get together, if only for a day or two, with other standup comics and participate in a fun and fast tournament in the funnest and fastest town in the Western World. We'll be gathering email addresses and putting you on a mailing list so that we can keep you up to date on the latest twists and turns.

Listen up, this is mucho importante: If you have ANY QUESTIONS; if you have ANY ADVICE, if you HAVE ANY CAR-POOLING REQUESTS or HOTEL-SHARING REQUESTS, just hit the comment button at the bottom of this posting (registering takes only seconds!) and put them in the comments. This blogging technology allows near real-time communication and networking, so, if it's used for good and not evil, we can get some questions answered and get some good people hooked up with other good people and make this Tournament a monument to standup comedy. And, maybe one of us will win a thousand clams.

Check back regularly. This particular posting will be accessible via a link at the very top of the FRONT PAGE of this website. The button will be clearly labelled: "POKER TOURNEY INFO!!" In the meantime, please point your browser to THIS PAGE as it contains the fine print and it will serve as the billboard to the world of standup for anyone who wants the boilerplate info on the tournament. NOTE: If you are keen on encouraging anyone to seek out information on this Tournament, please refer them to HTTP://www.sheckymagazine.com/poker.htm There will be a link to this posting off of that, so that, if they're hooked, they can then hop onto this posting and get the deep details! Thanks!

In just the past few weeks, Bill Bunker, Doug Hecox and Adam Gropman have penned new columns for you, the readers of SHECKYmagazine.com! And, since we've returned from the road, we've kicked the bloggin back into high gear! (We were on the road, so blogging slowed to a trickle... we took the month of June off... Sure we were working, just not on the magazine!)

Now we're headed to Montreal tomorrow morning, where we'll start four days of serious blogging!

And, we must note that somehow the art for our posting from the Shreveport to Las Vegas leg of our recent road trip mysteriously disappeared. Rest assured, it has been restored! Scroll waaay down to see that! Or click HERE. We apologize to Gary Bell and Cedman for botching their pictures!

As for the URL for those new columns, click on the links in the upper left corner, or click THIS for Gropman, THIS for Bunker or THIS for Hecox! Thanks!

From the liner notes of "Our Hero...Pat Cooper":

"Cooper was earning his living as a bricklayer and catapulted
ino the national spotlight through three sock appearances on Jackie
Gleason's television show on CBS."

"He is the only comedian in the history of New York City's famed Copacabana to work at that popular bistro four times within an eighteen month period."

Last year, we featured Cooper's delicious Whipped Cream and Other Delights cover parody from his "Spaghetti Sauce and Other Delights" which was the followup to this, his debut album.

Maura Dolan, writing in for the Los Angeles Times (we got it from The Standard, China's Business Newspaper), writes the following:

Workers who lose promotions to colleagues who are sleeping with the boss can sue their employers for sexual harassment, the California Supreme Court has ruled.

In a significant expansion of sexual harassment law in the state, the court unanimously decided a worker can suffer sexual harassment even if her boss never asked her for sexual favors or made inappropriate advances. Previously, only the worker who had the affair or received unwanted sexual attention could prevail in California.

Is this Ms. Dolan's narrow interpretation of the decision by California's Supremes? Perhaps. Read this:

"Widespread favoritism based upon consensual sexual affairs may imbue the workplace with an atmosphere that is demeaning to women because a message is conveyed that managers view women as `sexual playthings,'" Chief Justice Ronald George wrote for the court.

There you have it. Right from the Chief himself.

Of course, everyone else reading this is imagining harassment and inappropriate advances in cubicles at large accounting firms or in the front room of the auto repair shop or in the main floor of the chicken processing plant. But this is California... as in Los Angeles... as in Hollywood.

If folks can't sleep their way to the top (or to the middle), it may mean the end of the entertainment industry. Or... maybe the whole industry will gradually re-locate to Phoenix. Only four hours east... sunny, hot, dry... nice airport... lots of land... plenty of palm trees... and a huge bus station for all the arriving starlets.

One more thing: How come "widespread favoritism based upon consensual sexual affairs" imbues the workplace with an atmosphere that's only demeaning to women? Are men not human? Do they not have feelings? Do they not bleed?

From Mosnews.com, entitled "Russia's Biggest Spammer Brutally Murdered"):

Vardan Kushnir, notorious for sending spam to each and every citizen of Russia who appeared to have an e-mail, was found dead in his Moscow apartment on Sunday, Interfax reported Monday. He died after suffering repeated blows to the head.

The shape of the indentations in the victim's head seem to match that of the bloody Motorola VoiceSurfer found near the body. (Writer's embellishment)

After seeing our concentrated assailing of the media in recent postings (and after seeing our quote from Newhart), Vancouver journalist Guy McPherson dropped us a nice email in which he hipped us to his publication's archive of McPherson-bylined comedy reviews and sent along another quote from Mr. Newhart, this one from an interview McPherson conducted in 2000. Newhart had recently encountered Billy Crystal during a round of golf and Crystal informed Newhart that he was getting back into standup. (It being a transcript of a phoner, Newhart's signature telephonic stammering is included):

"And I said, you know, I really... It really bothers me that a lot of the young guys coming up, coming out of standup, once they attain success in movies or on television, they stop doing standup. And I think it's wrong. Because if you're able to do standup I think you have a responsibility to do standup... Be-because everyone doesn't have that talent. So you shouldn't squander it."

Now, be good comedy fans and hop on over to straight.com to check out some of that standup rhumination!

On Friday, we posted ("Dumbass Quote of the Year Award") a link to an article in the Philly City Paper about the opening of the beautiful new comedy club just across the river. You may recall that posting started thusly:

It's always disheartening to see a journalist, while spilling ink on standup comedy, simultaneously promote standup comedy while administering a backhanded compliment or two.

And we always marvel at the journalists who, while berating comics for being derivative or relying too heavily on cliches, will do the exact same thing he/she is so dead set against-- being derivative and using plenty of cliches! And so it is with A.D. Amorosi, the author of a recent article on the opening of a new comedy club in Philadelphia, Helium Comedy Club.

So, today, while scooting around on the Philly Comics Newsgroup, we spotted the following post, a promotion for an ongoing comedy night in downtown Philadelphia:

From: "irvruss8"
Date: Sun Jul 17, 2005 10:02 pm
Subject: BAR NOIR OPEN MIC MONDAY JULY 18th

Yes it's true, tomorrow is the Bar Noir/Fringe Fest open mic and
we've got 5 comics representing the (Philly Comics):
ALAN KAYE
MIKE PETRO
RONETTE JONES
BLAKE WEXLER
ALICIA HICKS

WHERE: BAR NOIR 18TH & SANSOM DOWNSTAIRS
TIME: A.D ALWAYS SAYS 9:30, BUT MOST LIKELY 10
***JACK DANIELS DRINK SPECIALS**
COVER: ZERO

Tunes and co-hosted by A.D. Amorosi, and drinks served by the miss/mr Needles Jones.

Come see what all the good stuff is about,and network with the fringers. To all those who have emailed me about spots for the august show, I will not be hosting that event as I will be on vacation. But when I do find out the deal, I will let the board know.

Thanks,

Russell Brand
IRB PRODUCTIONS

What's this? Seems to be a show, hosted (and seemingly co-produced) by A.D. Amorosi and co-produced by Russell Brand's IRB Productions. (This isn't the first time the two have collaborated on a comedy show-- they've promoted their "Notebooks" series, at the same 18th & Sansom venue, for some months now.)

Normally, we applaud anyone who tries to produce comedy shows (or attempts to breathe life into the particularly torpid Philly comedy scene), but we are struck by the conflicts of interest here.

Let's set the scene: The editors of the City Paper dispatch a reporter (A.D. Amorosi) to write a review of the new comedy club at 20th and Sansom (Helium). The reporter writes the review and props it up with multiple quotes from his business partner (Russell Brand), all while the two of them are producing a regular Monday night comedy show 2-1/2 blocks away. Where's the harm, you ask? What we have here, regardless of the content of the article (which was, we noted in our earlier posting, grudgingly positive), is, to put it politely, a conflict of interest.

As a bonus, the article kicks off with this quote from Brand:

"I despise spaghetti joints that have comics on weekends for their "comedy night," says local comedian Russell Brand, air quotes firmly in place. "It pulls the perception and value of the performance down to a plate of bad linguini."

Of course, as anyone in Philadelphia comedy knows, this is a thinly veiled swipe at the producers of the weekly comedy show at the Spaghetti Warehouse. So, you have Amorosi (the journalist), giving Brand (the producer) a nice opportunity to hammer a competing Philadelphia producer. Nice.

Would all this be legit if there were an attempt at full disclosure? Maybe. There is a muddled reference to Brand's involvement in other "comedy events," and a passing (and somewhat confusing) reference to IRB productions, but it's not quite clear what his involvement is in any of the events. And it's never made clear that Amorosi and Brand are essentially business partners in a competing comedy venue. (And that the "RB" most likely stands for "Russell Brand!") Again, from the City Paper article:

Brand should know from bad and good, he being a veteran of cool, monthly comedy events at World Café Live (with his Chapin Kids improv shows through IRB Productions) and Bar Noir (open mic "Notebooks" showcase) as well as Manhattan circuit spaces like Carolines and Gotham.

Amorosi also takes a swipe at the only real comedy club left in the city of Philadelphia, the Laff House, when he writes the following:

"We've been to comedy clubs in other cities — why isn't there one here?" (Helium owner Marc Grossman) says he remembers wondering.

Sure, they're discounting South Street's lesser-of-all-evil Laff House. Everybody does.

Again, we have Amorosi taking a gratuitous slap at the folks who produce shows at another venue in town, the Laff House. All in an article that showcases multiple quotes from another comedy producer (and his associate), Russell Brand. And it's all piggybacked on an article which is supposed to be about the newest, slickest comedy club in town. He is essentially taking the opportunity of the Helium review to (secretly) promote his own business and aesthetic agenda.

The male half of the staff took Journalism Law & Ethics back in 1979 (got an A minus!), so we speak with some knowledge of how this whole thing might be viewed as... fishy. Sure, it was 25 years ago, but not a whole lot has changed since then. What has changed, however, is that publications like the City Paper have grown from plucky, small-circulation "alternative" newspapers into big, profitable, legitimate newspapers that slug it out with the big chains, go after the same politicians and compete for the same ad revenue. As a result, they're actually held to the same standards as the big boys. At least they should be.

...get a splendid answer.

Bob Newhart is interviewed in the July 17 Parade Magazine. James Brady's In Step With... feature is that fluffy chat on the inside of the back cover. When asked by Brady, "You mean you work for hire?" (A dumb question, but apparently Brady is surprised that Newhart still does standup.), Newhart responds:

"I've been doing standup for 45 years. It's still my first love. It's inconvenient being away from home, all that travel, taking off your shoes at airports. But it's all worth it-- just being out there on a stage. Why would you wanna stop making people laugh."

Tivo/VCR Alert: On July 20, the American Masters series special called "Bob Newhart Unbuttoned" will run on PBS (check your local listings).

According to a USA Today article, all labor hell has broken loose in Montreal!

Seven Montreal area hotels have reached new labor pacts with their 1,850 workers, averting a strike set for Friday, but last-minute contract talks dragged on at 10 other hotels.
About 200 workers at the Omni hotel walked off the job Friday, joining 110 from the Crowne Plaza Metro-Centre, who were locked out last Saturday.

Some 3,000 employees, mainly receptionists, bellhops and other hotel service workers, at 17 hotels had promised to strike Friday if they did not reach new three-year agreements on wages and pensions.

Each hotel is negotiating separately with its workers, who are represented by Quebec's Confederation of National Trade unions.

The union said strikes would not begin at the hotels still in negotiations.

Is your lodging for next week's Just For Laughs visit in jeopardy? Check out the rest of the article and see if you can decipher the whole thing. Caution: If you call your hotel from the states, be sure and try to use an 800 number-- rates from the U.S. to Canada, on most plans, run $15/hour! (We exaggerate, but not much!)

David Hiltbrand of the Philadelphia Inquirer has a huge piece in the Sunday edition's entertainment section (and teased, with a pic on the front page!), profiling Dan Whitney, aka Larry the Cable Guy. Larry Dan is poised to sell out two shows in Atlantic City this Saturday. We had advance knowledge of it, since we were interviewed for the piece earlier in the week. We're quoted in the home stretch of the article, concurring with Larry Dan and comparing him to the late, great Rodney Dangerfield:

Surprisingly, Larry thinks of himself as a traditionalist. "When I started doing stand-up, it was all one-liners," he notes. "Nobody was doing that anymore. It was more political humor, comics trying to prove how much smarter they were. . . . I went a different route because I love the old guys - Buddy Hackett, Redd Foxx, Milton Berle, Shecky [Greene]."

"Larry is old-school," agrees Brian McKim, the editor of SheckyMagazine.com, a Web site devoted to stand-up. "He's really doing a character. . . . He's like Rodney [Dangerfield], who set up a distinctive persona and did a lot of rapid-fire material."

We were thrilled with the piece (not because we were quoted-- we're way over that!) because it was downright respectful and insightful! Fancy that! The MSM treating a standup phenomenon with respect! Let's hope the Inky asks Hiltbrand to write more articles about standup comics.

Also fascinating was the boxed sidebar, enumerating the top-selling comedy CD's in America:

Billboard Top Comedy Albums, July 16, 2005.

1. The Right to Bare Arms Larry the Cable Guy

2. Harmful if Swallowed, Dane Cook

3. Mitch All Together, Mitch Hedberg

4. Greatest Hits, Rodney Carrington

5. A Decade of Laughs, Bill Engvall

6. Family Guy: Live in Vegas, Family Guy With Walter Murphy And His Orchestra.

7. Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again, Soundtrack

8. Drunk In Public, Ron White

9. The Best of Jeff Foxworthy: Double Wide, Single Minded, Jeff Foxworthy

10. Strategic Grill Locations, Mitch Hedberg

A coupla months back, some folks with a publicity outfit in L.A., who were promoting the release of Whitney's "Right to Bare Arms" CD, sent us a perky email, offering to hook us up with a few CD's (which we took them up on; which we gave away via the mag) and also offering to arrange an interview with Larry.

Well, this is something we had been wanting to do ever since we saw Whitney perform upstairs at the Comedy Works during the 1999 Just For Laughs Festival up in Montreal. So, we wrote back:

It would be swell if you could sling us two or three copies and we could then give them away via the website.

Also, re: interviewing Dan. We wanted to do so five years ago (Editors: Actually, it was six years ago.) when we saw him at Montreal... never happened.

We do all our interviews via email. We don't work through anyone, we like to send the questions directly to the interview subject. We email the questions, he emails back the questions and the answers... the responses go in virtually untouched and there's no chance of anyone getting misquoted.

So, have Mr. Whitney send us an email and we'll get cracking.

Does this sound good?

PS: We're looking at 650,000 hits this month.

--
Brian McKim & Traci Skene
Editors & Publishers
SHECKYmagazine.com
http://www.SHECKYmagazine.com
Standup comedy...seriously!

And then, they wrote back this:

Unfortunately I would only be able to give you his mgr's email and not his direct email. Let me know if this works for you. I don't even have his personal email address to give.

I will gladly pop several CD's into the mail to you first thing tomorrow, and would love an online giveaway. Attached is the cover artwork and a press release/bio.

Thanks!

To which we wrote:

Would that be Colleen McGarr's email? Send it along (either way) and we'll be happy to try and go through the management.

As for those CD's--
send them to
PO Box 1096
Merchantville, NJ 08109

Thanks and we look forward to it.

(Editors note: Unfortunately, it was not Colleen McGarr.)

To which they wrote back:

You can email the questions directly to (Name withheld) at Parallel Entertainment at (email address withheld).

Thanks!

So...we dropped an email to (Name withheld) at Parallel Entertainment, with the subject line, "Email Interview of Dan Whitney," which went thusly (And, please note the time!):

4:45 PM EST

(Name withheld):

We haven't ever gone through management before. Usually, we just email the subject himself and he emails the answers back. Let us know if we can deal with Dan directly.

Thanks.

--
Brian McKim & Traci Skene
Editors & Publishers
SHECKYmagazine.com
http://www.SHECKYmagazine.com
Standup comedy...seriously!

Now, here's where it gets ugly. "Name withheld" writes back the following:

5:11 PM (00:26 from initial contact)

I am really confused. I have no idea who you are, but I assume, you got my email from someone at the office. I am his publicist, so all interview requests come through me and I am not familiar with your publication or what you are looking to do.

To which we replied:

5:19 PM (00:34 from initial contact)

Thanks anyway.

--
Brian McKim & Traci Skene
Editors & Publishers
SHECKYmagazine.com
http://www.SHECKYmagazine.com
Standup comedy...seriously!

We were ornery and lacking in patience, this much we cop to. But, you must admit, we did say "Thanks." (And, also, may the court please make note that the subject line was, quite clearly, a request for an interview with Dan Whitney.)

Not content to let it go, "Name withheld" writes back the following:

5:35 PM (00:50 since initial contact)

You didn't explain anything? I don't know what you are looking to do???

So, we replied:

5:41 PM (00:56 since initial contact)

How hard is it to click on the URL at the bottom of our email?

That might explain everything.

I got your email address in an email from the people who are promoting Dan's CD. Don't you people coordinate? Haven't you ever heard of our magazine? Don't you know what we do?

To which "Name withheld" responded:

5:50 PM (01:05 since initial contact)

Wow, you certainly are unprofessional. I think we will pass on this interview. Most publisicts (sic) like to know the type of feature you are looking to do, what your deadline dates are, etc.

Please do not contact me again in the future.

While we appreciated the lesson in Publicity 101, we weren't too happy about that little crack about being unprofessional. Sure, by conventional standards, we're unprofessional, but we prefer to think of it as "informal." We're the New Media, after all. Besides, nobody else we've ever dealt with has ever had any problems with our manner. Or with the publicity we lend to their clients.

And, of course, the easiest way to get a plucky internet magazine to contact you again is to say, "Please do not contact me again in the future." (Which, we hasten to point out, is redundant.)

So, we replied (in a blatant violation of their request to never contact them again):

6:12 PM (01:27 since initial contact)

We were contacted by Dan's CD promo company, who gave us your email. They contacted us. They asked us if we wanted to do an interview, and we explained how we like to do it. Then they dropped your email address in our inbox 18 hours later.

Connect the dots.

Coordinate better, people.

To paraphrase your last email: Wow, you certainly are incompetent.

Professional, maybe, but insulting and incompetent.

BTW: You might have left it at the part where we said, "Thanks anyway."

BTW, Part II: We get 500,000 hits a month with 40,000+ unique visitors-- nearly all of them rabid standup comedy fans. Normally, we don't like to go through management to get an interview. This little incident might explain why. We've interviewed Shelley Berman, Richard Lewis, Mitch Hedberg, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and Dick Cavett and about 100 others-- all without having to go through anyone's management. They found us to be plenty professional. USAToday knows about us (as do their readers) but you seem to have never found the time to find out who we are. Nice work.

Don't bother responding.

PS: We've said many good things about your client in the past... and we'll continue to do so.

--
Brian McKim & Traci Skene
Editors & Publishers
SHECKYmagazine.com
http://www.SHECKYmagazine.com
Standup comedy...seriously!

And then... the line went dead... All over in 1 hour and 27 minutes.

There you have it. Are we assholes? Only in the strictest interpretation of the term. Are the folks at Parallel thin-skinned? Well, let's put it this way: If the two or three snarky emails they received from SHECKYmagazine.com is the worst treatment they've ever encountered, they're the luckiest publicists on the face of the planet.

And, if we're such assholes, why did we spend 15 minutes on the phone with David Hiltbrand of the Philadelphia Inquirer last Tuesday, saying just the sweetest things about their client?

The moral? Click on the URL.

PS: Add the folks at Parallel Entertainment to the list of folks we may have to avoid at JFL next week!

Just got the following from an avid reader of SHECKYmagazine.com:

Well, it's official-- you've lost your mind.

To hear you say that comedians should not earn a living wage DISGUSTS me. Those of us who consider ourselves "professional" comedians would gladly trade a 50 percent pay increase for 94 percent of our profession if it meant that the other 6 percent wouldn't be able to continue making their non-livable wage. ARE YOU CRAZY? Who wouldn't take that deal? Any group of people in any profession would jump at that. If you don't believe me why don't you put up a poll and ask REAL comedians?

Apparently you consider yourself an open-miker because that seems to be where your priorities lie. What do you have against experienced "professional" comedians reaping the benefits of their profession? Why is your priority on the nonprofessionals? And anyway, why should squeezing open-mikers make anyone 'nervous' if the best these amateurs can hope to achieve is to earn a non-livable wage?

If you don't respect your own abilities as a professional that's your business but those of us that do have confidence in our talents in our chosen field expect to compensated fairly.

Apparently you think comedians are just a bunch of children who should be thankful that people are willing to pay money to someone else to watch them perform.

Why don't you print this and let the comics decide if you're out of your fucking mind?

Tony Daro

We went back and forth with Mr. Daro in December about this very subject, privately, in email, at the height of the NYC Comics/Owners dispute. The email debate ended, with both parties agreeing to disagree.

Or so we thought.

We have our ideas about economics and market forces and how they should work or be allowed to work. Mr. Daro has his. We've linked to articles that spelled out Mr. Daro's philosophy; we've always let it be known where we stood. Until now, we've always thought it was a difference of opinion, now, however, it appears that we're "out of our fucking minds."

Where Mr. Daro goes horribly wrong is when he implies that neither of us are professional comedians. He also seems to think that we pay too little attention to NYC comedians... and far too much attention on open mikers. What he fails to realize is this: Each of us (both the male half and the female half of the staff) are, to use Mr. Daro's own words, "experienced 'professional' comedians reaping the benefits of (our) profession." And we've been that, each of us, for more than 20 years. Yet, we still remember, with startling clarity, what it was like to break into this business, to learn the craft. And most of our favorite comedians started out (as did 99 per cent of standup comics) as "open-mikers."

Somewhere out there right now is the next Mitch Hedberg-- a fry cook or a temp worker or a dog walker-- whom Mr. Daro would gladly throw under the bus so he doesn't have to sully himself by crossing the George Washington Bridge and do a college gig or an Elks Club or (horrors!) a suburban comedy club. So entitled is Tony Daro to a "living wage," that he enthusiastically slams the door shut on any who might come in his wake and try to scramble onto a NYC stage and endeavor to learn this craft for free or for gas money or for glory. Had some of those who came before him been equally enamored of negotiations and regulations and fees and dues and memberships he and many of his contemporaries probably wouldn't be comedians. Had those who blazed the trail before him had the same selfish, myopic and bitter view of the world and the business and the art and the lifestyle of standup comedy I daresay that Mr. Daro and myself and my wife would not today be engaged in the most fascinating profession in existence.

It's always disheartening to see a journalist, while spilling ink on standup comedy, simultaneously promote standup comedy while administering a backhanded compliment or two.

And we always marvel at the journalists who, while berating comics for being derivative or relying too heavily on cliches, will do the exact same thing he/she is so dead set against-- being derivative and using plenty of cliches! And so it is with A.D. Amorosi, the author of a recent article on the opening of a new comedy club in Philadelphia, Helium Comedy Club.

Exhibit A-- Amorosi's lede from a recent article that appeared in the local alterna-rag, The City Paper:

Tell a Philadelphia comic-- heck, any layman of live laughs-- that a venue for comedy is open and they'll probably think of the hackneyed inclusion of the letter "z" onto every word, brick stages, too many 8x10s of too-many men with frizzy, thinning hair and exaggerated coked-up smiles, and the difficulty of comfortable communal seating at what amounts to picnic tables.

Could he/she have squeezed any more hackneyed, discredited cliches into that graf?

It is a disease that is rampant throughout the MSM and ever more virulent among the alterna-rags: Editors and writers who have a woefully outdated idea of what goes on in the world of standup. They write their pieces to fit this template, thereby reinforcing their own prejudices and those of any readers who might also be as out of touch as they are.

Even more depressing, however, is when said authors manage to find the one comic in the market who will dutifully say what the reporter might want to hear.

Which brings us to Exhibit B, a quote from one "local comedian" Russell Brand. Get a load of this cloud of hot air (and keep in mind that it is the last paragraph of the entire story):

"If they give young locals the chance to play an A-room without bending them over," says Brand, looking forward to what Helium will offer. "Get locals on stage. Instead of just three acts, have a sketch night. Do gay comedy. Just be different. People today have TiVo and the Internet. Watching one person for 40 minutes, no matter how funny, is a tough thing to sit through."

What might the problem with this guy? Hemhorroids? OCD? Benign Prostate Hyperplasia? Narcolepsy? Let's get this straight: With all the scurrilous accusations floating around out there about standup, now we must add to the list that the comics are going on too long?

We chose this one for the Dumbass Quote of the Year because it stood out, like a shining chunk of gargantuan stupidity. It also stood out because it wasn't the press betraying its ignorance or prejudice this time-- it was a comic!

And, even though the folks at Helium found it advantageous to link to the article off the front page of their website, we can't imagine that they dig this kind of coverage. It kicks off with a drab, horrible portrayal of live standup and it ends with a dreary picture of the live standup experience as being static, boring, unwatchable. (Editors note: Don't try clicking on the Helium site's link, it currently goes to a different article. Use the one above instead-- at least until the Helium Web Monkey updates the link.)

And we are certain this week's headliner, Tom Cotter, will be doing at least a 40-minute set. He won't exactly be ecstatic about Mr. Brand's characterization of his work as being "tough to sit through." Priceless. Note to Mr. Brand: How about you let Mr. Grossman run his room the way he sees fit?

Don't misunderstand us. We are well aware that Mr. Grossman and Helium are doing things right, going above and beyond and offering the Delaware Valley a top-notch standup experience. What we take issue with is the writer's (and the comic's) inability to convey that without taking nearly every opportunity to demean standup comics and portray the experience as one that's less than satisfying. Doubly and triply frustrating when you consider that 99 per cent of the people we encounter at live standup venues find the outing to be one of the more entertaining live experiences they've ever encountered.

Doug Herzog, president of Comedy Central, briefed The Hollywood Reporter on the status of Dave Chapelle after the channel's presentation in Beverly Hills as part of the Television Critics Association July press tour.

Herzog said that he had spoken to Chappelle a few weeks ago in a hotel lobby. According to Herzog, Chappelle said he needed a bit more time; Herzog said he told him they looked forward to working with him again.

"If you see him, tell him to phone home," Herzog joked.

Despite the blow that was losing the channel's top-rated show, Herzog said Comedy Central is holding its own in the ratings and is actually up a bit.

"We didn't go backward without him, which was a great fear," Herzog said. "It's no question that it (the ratings) would be much better with Dave Chappelle."

There's a long history of the press acting as intermediaries between aggrieved parties. (Usually it's criminals and the police whose differences are ironed out by the Fourth Estate... btw: We're not insinuating that Chapelle's a criminal!) With this in mind, SHECKYmagazine.com is offering to bring the two parties to an agreement! Dave? If you're reading this, feel free to drop us an email! Same goes to you, Doug!

Note to Chapelle: Rest assured, we'll be tough on Comedy Central-- we still haven't gotten over having a taxicab door slammed in our faces by a couple of Comedy Central suits outside Club Soda one night. Oh, did we mention it was raining? A friend introduces us, we all determine that we're heading back to the Delta, pleasantries are exchanged, a cab arrives-- In they slide and BOOM! then Zoom! Off they go while we drip, drip, drip in the Montreal rain. What was that?!?! (After you get over the raw, savage rudeness of it, you gotta throw your head back and cackle!)

Herzog added: "The ball's in Dave's court," Well... isn't that just like a white guy to fall back on those same old stereotypes. Unless, he meant racquetball. Hmmm... Maybe it is we who are falling back on stereotypes... Or, maybe we just have basketball on the brain because we look forward to participating in next week's Industry vs. Artist Basketball Game in Montreal next week! That's right: Bring your basketball shoes (or, if you're from Ohio, bring your "tennies") and sign up as soon as you get to the Delta!

It's called "The Amorous Busboy of Decatur Avenue: A Child of the Fifties Looks Back" and it's published by Simon & Schuster. It should be interesting. We often cite Klein as the bridge between the old school comics and the modern era.

...We follow Klein's early career with the famous Second City comedy troupe in Chicago (where we witness a show-biz battle of egos between established comic David Steinberg and a brash, cocky Klein); his first legitimate role on Broadway in Mike Nichols's production of "The Apple Tree" (and, later, his fascination with Robert Morse's antic, charismatic performance in "How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying"); the shock and despair when, on the threshold of his first nationally televised standup gig (on the popular Dean Martin Show), the show's producers, feeling that the young comic's material was not funny, canceled his appearance. The narrative ends with Klein's career-altering relationship with Rodney Dangerfield, who became a stand up mentor and (perhaps) surrogate father to the young comic in his search for approval and a role model.

Check out the lengthy review, published in the Forward.

How many of us recall that heady period in our standup tutelage when we could actually feel the progress as it was occurring? When we contemplated each career move with an intoxicating mixture of dread and elation? How many of us could write about with such eloquence as Bill Bunker? Damn few, we say.

In 2002 I recounted in this space my then-recent transformation from "civilian with comic aspirations" to "bona fide working comedian" at the most famed comedy club in Chicago. The shorthand label for my essay might have been something Disneyesque like, "A dream comes true." However, as I noted at the time, there was also a good chance that I had been wishing upon a dark star, for I was nervously aware that this dream possessed the latent power to destroy me, given the unshriven sins of my past, which consisted primarily of having squandered time and talent raising a family and earning a living.

Do yourself a favor and take ten minutes from your busy schedule and catch up with Mr. Bunker of Chicago, as he stretches out on the comedy road, following his comedy heart to Cleveland, St. Louis and Sarasota-- with his family in tow! Read the entire brand new Wells Street Journal now!

Hollywood Reporter is reporting that AMC has decided not to exhibit "The Aristocrats," on any of its screens. The distributors of the film, ThinkFilm, fails to see how this is the best thing that could happen to the picture. They've instead chosen to squawk about censorship, when this is clearly nothing of the kind.

But ThinkFilm contends that AMC, rather than making a simple business calculation, is engaging in censorship, and that given AMC's status as the country's second-largest chain, that could impact the film's fortunes.

It matters not how large the chain is. They don't have to carry anything they don't wanna. We suspect that, in the Distributor's Handbook, the second best thing to happen to your film is if the public thinks that someone is trying to "suppress" it. (It makes no never mind if you, the distributor, is the one making the original claim, of course!)

Oh, sure, documentaries have become sexy lately. But it's gotta be something from Michael Moore or Errol Morris. And everyone knows the real jack is to be made from DVD sales, not theater receipts. But this censorship thing doesn't wash. Theaters are all about the bottom line, and AMC is going to take a pass on this one.

Sure enough, it will "impact the film's fortunes." But it's not like AMC would've put the movie on 600 screens. According to the report, they originally agreed to maybe put it in two cities. Two cities! Then they backed out. Censorship?

Have these gentlemen ever heard of the term "straight to video?" Let's see a list of the films that are refused distribution by all the movie theater chains in America each year.

We like to save the "C-word" for when it really counts.

We hear it's going to be screened in Montreal next week. Hope our tirade doesn't cheese our chances of getting in!

Self-described "Confused reader" Josh Hoover writes:

Hey Brian and Traci,

I enjoy reading Shecky and catching up on the latest happenings in the comedy world. Although, in recent months the entire publication had begun to feel more like just a giant blog. What I mean by that is it doesn't seem your contributing writers are doing any contributing. Its been April since Adam Gropman wrote something, and what about "The Big Move" or Tom Ryan or Kid Dave or the bi-monthly interviews?

To which we responded:

Astute observations, all.

Our other contributors were released from their monthly obligations about two years ago... since then, they contribute only when they want to and we welcome their contributions like an old friend!

In the past year, we've emphasized the blog heavily...first to comment on the Last Comic Standing episodes in near-real time, then to comment on the world of standup in general and to keep people apprised of what's going on in the business.

Our columnists are no longer a primary focus of the magazine, but their archives are still up for those who want to peruse them.

And while it may seem that we've eliminated columns, we've actually developed some new columnists-- Doug Hecox, a new Big Mover (two, really!) and a Canadian columnist! As for interviews, we've talked to Woody Woodbury and Emery Emery, just since the beginning of the year. And we've got a comic or two on our wish list, so interviews will continue to be part of our offerings.

We devoted a lot of attention in the first four years of the mag to our columnists...our numbers grew and our fans were many. Then, we switched to a blog format, kept the columnists archived, developed some new writers... and our numbers quadrupled. We have found that folks like the short form about as much, if not more, than they liked the long form. And, since we offered our content for syndication via RSS and Feedburner and other syndication portals, our reach and popularity has never been wider or more vigorous. (If you think we emphasize number a lot, you're right. Aside from the occasional Like We Care email, the only way if we know we're doing something right is by examining the stats!)

We won many fans with our columnists, so we're not going to totally neglect them. But we're not going to try to be all things to all people. We feel we've reached a nice balance. Anyone who has read the magazine since April 1, 1999, has noticed that the one constant with our publication has been change! We have never stood still and we're always seeking to refine it.

We hope you'll continue to read our magazine and we hope you'll continue to check in regularly to see the changes! And we're open to suggestions!

Thanks again for being a loyal fan!

Fear not, gentle readers, we will continue to experiment... and we will continue to bring you some of the more popular features that have become heavily associated with SHECKYmagazine.com. Like our Montreal coverage, for example. We arrive in Montreal on July 20. An update-- text and photos-- should pop up within 24 hours of our arrival! Stay tuned!!

Late last month, The Public Policy Institute of California, published a 23-page report on living wage laws and their effects on the local citizenry. The rest of the media has apparently digested it and is regurgitating favorite parts. Among them:

...urban areas see a 2 percent decline in poverty rates a year after enacting living wage laws.

But the study also found that a 50 percent increase in the living wage reduced employment by 6 percent among the least-skilled workers. That's because the mandated wage increase acts like a tax on the use of low-skilled workers, discouraging employers from hiring them, the report said.

"You're going to help some people, but exacerbate the problem for others," said David Neumark, a senior fellow at the PPIC who co-wrote the study with Scott Adams, a University of Wisconsin economics professor. "Urban poverty falls, but there are some people who lose, and those who lose are in some sense the least well-off."

There hasn't been much rumbling about a living wage for comics in New York City. Last we heard, they squeezed the owners and got a minor bump in pay from them. We were relieved to hear that they hadn't gone through with any of their more severe plans. We argued against a living wage for comics in New York City... anywhere, really. And, if you substitute the words "least-skilled workers" with "open mikers," you can see how living wage talk might make (or should make!) comics a little bit nervous. When we heard a report on the study, we felt a certain measure of vindication, as the report echoed precisely one of the more dire scenarios we outlined. Sure, a certain number of workers (experienced comics) benefit by making more money... but the jiggering of the wage sorta kinda makes a goodly number of the least-skilled workers... disappear.

We got a press release from the folks at Sierra Mist, the soft drink that would kill 7-Up if it had the chance. You may recall that, back in March, we ran something about their effort to find the "Next Great Comic" (Their phrase, not ours), by holding a contest. One thing caught our eye in the release:

...Once the contestant's photo, bio and a two-minute MP3 of their standup routine were submitted, a panel of judges, including a representative from Comedy Central, reviewed all of the local comic winners and selected the top five finalists. The finalists were judge on creativity, delivery, humor, inclusiveness and originality. Then America had the opportunity to vote online for one of finalist’s to determine the Next Great Comic!

Huh? Inclusiveness?!? What the hell is that? Whenever we hear inclusiveness mentioned in the same breath as comedy, we get all Sierra Misty-eyed! (We hope this isn't a trend. We hope we don't start hearing emcees closing shows with, "Thank you for supporting inclusive comedy!")

Anyway, Ryan Hamilton won and he'll be pumped through the 23 Improvs along with Jim Gaffigan or Aries Spears. Mr. Hamilton, who only started doing comedy in spring of '01, would do well to enjoy the middle spot and watch every one of Gaffigan's shows. With a bit of work he should have an entirely new half-hour by the end of his Sierra Mist odyssey. And, for God's sake, work on your inclusiveness!

Poker has never been hotter. Comedy has never been hotter. So, it occurred to us that a comedians-only Texas Hold 'Em Tournament would be a natural. A similar thought occurred to the boys at Game Show Network. Every Tuesday night at 10 PM EDT, they run Poker Royale Comedians vs. Pros (details). You know the format already-- six or seven poker players, two commentators keep confused viewers abreast of who's got a good hand, who made a boneheaded bet, post-mortems (conducted by a spokesmodel) with winners and losers. Only this one has players like Robert Wuhl, Paul Rodriguez and Sue Murphy. As poker shows go, this one isn't one of the better ones (through no fault of the comics)-- the pros are second-tier pros, the play seems rushed, leaving insufficient time for the commentators to explain what happened/what's happening. If you seek a poker show that allows you to learn, hit the Travel Channel or ESPN.

(Note to producers: You might have found someone more adept at conducting the post-mortems than the cute-as-a-button spokesmodel you've got there. Couldn't you find a cute-as-a-button standup comic?!?)

We're getting emails from folks who want to be kept abreast of any and all developments concerning the upcoming (November 17) SHECKYmagazine.com Comics-Only Texas Hold 'em Poker Tournament at Binion's Horseshoe Casino and Hotel in downtown Las Vegas, Nevada!

We'll assemble a list and we'll also continue to post developments here as well!

Thanks!

PS: We can't help ourselves when it comes to tweaking our configuration, with regard to our blogger settings... and sometimes our tweaking leads to destruction and mayhem! Like the last three days' postings disappear! (Not permanently, we are happy to say!) We just gotta get things right before we beging coverage of Just For Laughs in Montreal!!

We all had 'em: College roommates. Adam Gropman has had some doozies. Check out his latest Observational Humor to see just how bad!

...But their inconsiderate, slovenly behavior never changed. I should also mention that they were huge pot-smokers and their main condition for moving in was that they be allowed to set up a hydroponic marijuana growing operation in our basement with platforms and irrigation and powerful sodium lights. So we all risked years in the Oregon State Pen in exchange for a small bag of buds at the end of the summer, and I didn't even smoke pot. So all I got was the opportunity to pretend I was the supervisor at a halfway house for the unconscionably disgusting.

Click here to read the whole sordid array of roommate horror stories!

In Entertainment Weekly's "The Rise and Fall of comedy's Kurt Cobain," on the stands July 8th, Daniel Fierman tells about the tragic circumstances of Hedberg's passing.

People would go, "'Mitch is going to die' and I was like, 'Oh, I don't know,'" says Mike Birbiglia, a Hedberg protégé who performed at one of the final shows at Carolines. "He seemed to pull it off. He had this invincibility to him."

Invincible? Hmm... And then there's this paragraph:

No one is quite sure when Hedberg started seriously using heroin, but Shawcroft says he had tried the drug before they met. From the outside, it was hard to tell what was going on. Hedberg and Shawcroft's relationship was startlingly opaque — Mary Hedberg estimates she and Arne spent a total of 24 hours with the couple over their six years of marriage — and the stand-up scene is filled with high-functioning drug users. Against that backdrop, he was the picture of professionalism. Despite rumors of heavy drug use, Hedberg would arrive, perform, and leave audiences happy.

"the standup scene is filled with high-functioning drug users?" Maybe (and that's a big "maybe") in the '80s, but not any more. We don't think we're betraying any ignorance here, but we just don't think this is anywhere near accurate.

LatinoStandup.com is confirming the death of Los Angeles comic Freddie Soto. No details on the cause of Soto's passing. We'll link to anything definite if/when we find it. (Thanks to a reader for the tip.)

We've accidentally stumbled over TBS a lot these past few days, so we've seen a lot of the promotion for their Who's Minding the Store?, which debuts July 17. One thing missing from the brief snippets has been... standup comedy! The only time they come close is when they briefly show the "Hot Girls of the Comedy Store" scheme that ostensibly portrays Pauly and others auditioning hot babes for a Store scheme. When we first learned that the Shore and his brother were pitching the cable outlet on what was then supposed to be a reality series revolving around the revival of the faltering showcase, we thought it might be entertaining and it might be a more accurate peek into the lives of standup comics and into the lives of the folks who ran what was once an important club in the most important comedy town on the planet. So far, though, it looks like they've hired a bunch of actors (one of which is fat and constantly chomping on a sandwich!! Ow, my sides hurt!) and created a zany cast of characters to support the Weasel in a mediocre sitcom that is only loosely based on reality.

We know that reality shows are sometimes largely scripted, but the promos look like they aren't even trying to fool anyone! (We'll post again after we view an episode.)

Actual exchange between SHECKYmagazine editor and Clara, Manager on Duty at the Rawlins, Wyoming, Super 8 Motel Wednesday evening:

McKim: I just turned down my bed and discovered that I don't have a top sheet.

Clara: Well... not all the beds are gonna have top sheets.

McKim: You're kidding, right?

Clara: No. Sometimes they put top sheets on the bed... sometimes they don't.

McKim (stunned): Wow. You're serious! I've been staying in hotels for 20 years and I've never had a bed that didn't have a top sheet.

Clara: I just came back from vacation and the bed I had didn't have a top sheet.

McKim: That's it. That's your final position. No top sheet?

Clara: (Silence, accompanied by blank stare.)

We turned in our key the following morning, and waited for about five seconds, hoping to hear the magic words, which we did, from the woman behind the counter (not Clara):

Her: Was everything all right?

Us: Well, we didn't have a top sheet on the bed.

Her: Well, if you'd told us you were in 218, we'da sent someone up there with a sheet and fixed the situation.

Sure! That's what I thought was going to happen (This woman didn't see the emptiness behind Clara's eyeballs. There weren't no inclination to assist, believe us! We phoned Super 8 Customer Service the next day. We're waiting 7 business days while the folks in Rawlins formulate a strategy to make it right (after which, the folks at corporate figure out what to do). We don't give it much hope on the franchisee level. Stay tuned!

From the Times Picayune, an article about how Harry Anderson has finally realized his dream-- opening up a showcase for his talents in the only town he could ever really call home.

The main ground floor room is magnificently restored now -- the original hammered zinc ceiling buffed to a shine -- and the proprietor, in a decidedly better mood than nine months ago, does the things that come natural to him, that once made him rich, that made him a star: He gives people a razz, five nights a week, Wednesday through Sunday.

When we performed there in September, we heard from some local, reliable sources that Harry had settled in Nola, had such plans to open a club of his own, that he was the proprietor of a magic shop just Jackson Square. We made note of it, but forgot to post about it. The story of how he finally realized his dream is a corker. We weren't aware that Anderson eventually went through a fortune to get where he is. Thirteen years of "Sick Money" gone! (We assume to Wife #1) Click on the above, read it all... and, if you're in New Orleans any time soon, peel off a twenty and stop in. From what we've ever seen of Harry's live act, it's worth twice that.

We were familiar with Harry Anderson as a performer before most of the rest of the nation was. Clay Heery, the proprietor of the Comedy Factory Outlet, brought Anderson into his club in Philadelphia, at its original 32nd and Market location, in the winter of 1981. The male half of the staff recalls watching Anderson doing the needle-through-the-forearm trick from a seat in the front row of the 45-seat room when just a lowly open-miker, waiting for the "Midnight Madness" amateur comedy show to start.

Just caught Bob Saget guesting on HBO series Entourage, performing as Bob Saget. The scene he was in has him smoking pot out of a bong, saying things like, "I was wacked out on Vike's (Vicodin) and Halcyon during the '90s. I don't remember shit!" Did we mention he delivered the above with enthusiasm and a smirk... while cuddling with a hooker poolside at a high-end Beverly Hills brothel? He followed that line up with, "But, I'm clean now, right?" (Follows it up with another hit off the bong.)

Convincing!

You people who've subscribed to our RSS feed may have noticed that it's telling you that we haven't posted since June 6th or so. This could not be further from the truth! What it is, is this: Our Internet Host switched to a new, more efficient, more secure platform. In the process, all our files got mussed up and now we must get under the hood and figure out how to re-configure out how to re-configure our RSS specs so that they tell the truth. So, hang in there and we'll have the ol' RSS humming again soon.

Crappy cable has a way of herding viewers into cable outlets they wouldn't normally find themselves watching. And crappy cable is just what we've had more often than not over the past week or so. So, we have found ourselves occasionally watching TBS.

That's right, the "Superstation TBS" is now favoring a bright blue color in all it's promotions and it is tagging everything with the phrase "very funny." (Although we can't imagine the Braves dig that association... although with the way they've been playing this year, they really can't complain all that much.)

We were watching an old Sex and the City (and enduring the endless promos for Seinfeld, Raymond, Family Guy and all the other sitcoms that form the core of their new strategy), when we saw a promotion for a TBS contest. The top prize was a trip to Las Vegas for two to take in The Comedy Festival. Finally, we see evidence that TBS and HBO and Caesar's and the Flamingo are actually going through with this "consumer oriented" comedy festival. (If you only relied on their website, you'd think it may be a hoax of some kind, as the site hasn't changed since the dy they announced the fest and launched their little Macromedia billboard.)

So, we now know that TBS and HBO is going through with the fest. Now: If you haven't made plans to work that week, or if you plan to attend the festival itself, or if you are a stone poker freak-- Make plans to be part of our SHECKYmagazine.com COMICS-Only Poker Tournament! It'll be on November 17 at Binion's Horseshoe Casino (in downtown Vegas!) and it will be a guaranteed good time! We'll be announcing further details-- like a room rate at Binion's, other (maybe) related activities (A bowling tourney, maybe?) and prizes for those other than those who finish "in the money!" If you are dead, solid set on attending and playing, send us an email and we'll put you on a POKER TOURNEY email list that will drop tourney developments into your email inbox. (Don't worry, not an obtrusive amount of emails... just enough to keep you posted.)

Keep tuned to this page! And, in the meanwhile, keep watching poker tournaments on ESPN, and E! And, in the coming weeks, we'll be featuring poker lingo tips, poker playing tips and all the information you'll need to hop on that table and at least bluff your way into looking like you belong!

We're on the way back east, where we'll only have about ten days to prepare for our trip up north to the Just For Laughs Festival... or, as the comics up there call it, Festival Just For Laughs (Must be something to do with the odd French syntax)... We'll be there for the seventh year in a row, posting daily updates with pix, summarizing the events and engaging in... analysis!

On the off chance that you, our humble reader, has not made plans for your summer vacation, or if you are in the comedy business and you are considering just coming up to the Fest to hang, please click on the banner at the top of this page and investigate the possiblity of purchasing one of the fine packages that include tickets to JFL events, drinks, etc.! It's a swell way of hanging out with some of your favorite comedy stars or discovering new standup comics... or just hanging out with one of the finest cities in North America while it plays host to the largest festival of comedy on the planet!

We're in Elko, NV, heading for home...with a stop for a private party in Pontiac, IL, on Saturday, so we're taking our sweet old time. Which is fortunate, since we were stopped dead for almost TWO HOURS on Interstate 80 eastbound, just about 200 miles downrange from Reno. Seems that the hillsides were ablaze about twenty miles up the road. When we finally got to the area that was on fire, it was impressive-- several hundred acres to our south was still fully involved, throwing smoke and not quite contained. Beautiful in a menacing kind of way. (We got off easy, though-- we managed to not be delayed by any of the wildfires in Arizona last week!)

While waiting, we were somewhat entertained by the mini-swarms of Mormon Locusts-- evil-looking creatures who immediately sought out any shadow cast by our stopped vehicles and, while they were waiting, climbed on the tires and formed small piles beneath each. Occasionally, we'd see one hopping across the highway bearing the dead carcass of one of his compadres. Charming. Welcome to the high desert! (See the blurry photo above and keep in mind that the tire pictured is that of a tour bus-- very large-- and that each bug is approximately 2-1/4 inches from stem to stern. Formidable!)

We cashed in early in Elko. Got a dialup connection, via long distance, since Mindspring doesn't offer a local number in Elko. (And, we missed Basque days by just 24 hours. Hmmm...coulda had tongue family style!)

This Catch A Rising Star club is a frustrating one. When you're up there on the stage, you're never quite sure how it's going. Yet, when the show ends, the audience members just can't say enough nice things about you and how they enjoyed themselves... hmmm... We conclude that it's a sign of Rookie-ism-- folks not quite accustomed to live comedy... typical of a casino. It's not a funeral up there, but it's not riotous, either. "No momentum," is how we describe it. (Be forewarned: If you sell product after the shows, Catch-- or is it the Legacy?-- extracts 26 per cent from your total receipts!)

The crowds were thinner than we might have expected this holiday weekend. We attributed this to the fact that the big show in the giant showroom downstairs was "Eat Bulaga!" It's a live theatrical version of the long-running comedy television show, famous in the Philippines for 26 years! The casino was mobbed with... Filippinos, naturally. And, since neither myself nor Mr. Weiner does material in Tagalog, we weren't drawing huge chunk of the guests. (Last time we performed in Reno, the hotel we were in was filled with deaf softball tournament participants... hmmm...)



Nice incident observed in the Legacy lobby by Traci Skene: 10 year-old Filippina girl was scolded, at length, in Tagalog, by Mom. Mom walks away, kid waits one or two beats, then says, wearily, with a sigh, to no one in particular, in English, "Here we go again."

We were met at every turn with video footage or giant posters of George Carlin. The former Hippy Dippy Weatherman is scheduled to perform in the giant sub-terranean room July 9.

Finished with our obligations at the Catch A Rising Star at the Silver Legacy Friday night, we headed on over to the Golden Phoenix, just a block or three south. The former Reno Flamingo Hilton was shuttered last time we were here, but hit has since risen from the ashes as the Golden Phoenix and is aggressively courting locals and a somewhat younger demographic (Younger for Reno, that is). That's why their Retro Lounge (a lounge/showroom hybrid, partially closed in, with a decent sized stage) is hosting free concerts by such Big '80s acts as Flock of Seagulls, Tommy Tutone and, on this night, General Public.

General Public, you may recall is the band formed by remnants of The English Beat, Dexy's Midnight Runners and The Specials. (Or, as fans of The English Beat might put it: It's The English Beat without Saxa.) As it turns out, it was Wakeling with a pickup band (drums, percussion, bass and keyboard) but n no Ranking Roger. (And, special credit goes to Traci Skene for eventually identifying the keyboard player as the guy on HBO's Taxicab Confessions a few months back! He was gigging in Vegas, he picked up a beautiful babe after one of his shows and BOOM-- he ends up in the back of a camera-laden taxi, talking about marriage... and sex, of course.)

The joint was packed with at least 400 ska fans, of all ages, undulating and swaying while Wakeling cycled through a 1:15 set of Beat/Public's greatest hits. (Wakeling's a crafty one-- he appears in this same lounge two weeks later fronting The English Beat, where he'll probably play the same set!) He and his bandmates were featured in a Bands Reunited, the VH-1 reality show that sought to bring Big '80s bands back for one-off shows. The male half of the staff had a special affinity for the Beat-- he listened to "I Just Can't Stop It" (The Beat's debut album) non-stop for the entire first year of agonizing open mikes and auditions and such when first starting out in comedy.

While Wakeling and company rocked out, the monitors over the bar showed footage of performances from the U.S. side of the 1985 Live Aid concert. It reminded us that while Jagger and Madonna and Hall & Oates were sweating through their sets in that historic concert, your humble editors and publishers were bobbing up and down in the pool of the Promenade Hotel in Wildwood, NJ, totally oblivious to the goings-on just 75 miles up the Atlantic City Expressway. (McKim was gigging down the street at the Club Casbah, sharing a bill with Keven Sullivan and erstwhile comedy team Corson & Trueson!)

From left: Brian McKim, Host/Producer/Production Director Kevin Gassman, Traci Skene, in the offices of All Comedy Radio's 1480 AM ("Arizona's Laugh Button") taken just after our visit last week to promote our weekend at the Comedy Spot in Scottsdale.

A reader hipped us to a NYT article(registration required) about the latest machinations behind the National Lampoon brand.

Mr. Matheson disagreed, though he acknowledged that by failing in his bid to restore the Lampoon to its glory days, he shares in some of the blame for what it has become. "There is no national humor magazine," he said, "and it's so important to look at our society with that filter that says: How stupid is this? Is this as stupid as we think it is?"

The article is fascinating and packed with quotes from Lampoon alums like Tony Hendra, P.J. O'Rourke and Tom Kenney. One thing that's always disturbed us about the Lampoon reminiscing is the tendency to look back on the early days as far more funny than they were. The male half of the staff recalls purcashing his first Lampoon (the first Lampoon!) when he was in eighth grade or therabouts.

It was wickedly funny, of course. Mad Magazine was the gateway mag, then we graduated to Lampoon. But we seem to recall that subsequent issues never lived up to those first couple. Even the quality of the first five or six was uneven. (Believe it or not, I recall being especially disappointed with the issue that had the giant bunny on the cover... at least we think it was a giant bunny.) There won't be another magazine which might, as Mr. Matheson says, ask How stupid is this? Mainly because, for the past 20 years or so, there has been some rather wicked and insightful comedians just down the street at your local comedy club asking that very same question... and answering it with much more wit and verve than the Lampoon writers have since Issue #6 or so.

That's right, the SHECKYmagazine.com Comics-Only Texas Holdem Poker Tournament will be held in Las Vegas, NV, on Thursday, November 17! We'll be providing updates as the day approaches-- information on room rates, entry fee, prizes, etc. But for now, let's just say that it'll be downtown, at Binion's Horseshoe Casino and that we're hoping to field at least 100 comics and offer a top prize of $1000!

We're throwing a poker tournament in November, so we figured we had better experience it firsthand if we're going to exhort comedians from all over America and Canada (and the world!) to come to Las Vegas and play real, live actual poker with us! SHECKYmagazine Editor Brian McKim got it in his head to take the plunge and investigate this live poker phenomenon by entering a tournament here in Reno! Here is his account:

I was at the Apache Gold Casino in Globe, AZ, when I spotted the stack of slick poker magazines. I grabbed one (Poker Today? Poker Tomorrow? Poker Times?) and turned to the Tournament Listings section containing information on tourneys large and small in Nevada, Arizona and surrounding states. We'd be in Reno in a matter of days, so I searched for and found the ideal tourney for me: The Circus Circus Reno Biggest Little Poker Tournament-- A $15 buy-in (Cheap compared to the others listed!) I wanted a tournament where there wouldn't be a whole lot riding on it and there might be other amateurs like me onboard. This one seemed perfect for a rookie. I made up my mind then and there that I would participate in my first live poker tournament when I got to Reno.

I went over to Circus Circus on Wednesday afternoon and chatted up the Poker Room attendant gal, peppering her with borderline stupid-poker questions. She fielded them all with patience. I learned, among other things, that the number of players is limited to 36 and that they were usually full up. I also learned that the dealers would be as patient as she was and that the other players wouldn't be intimidating in the least (which was one of my fears). I told her I'd return to sign up at 10:30 AM on Friday.

They spread the players across three tables. As the tournament progresses, and as players are eliminated, they consolidate the players into two tables, then one. The entire tournament takes a little over an hour-- if you make it to the final table. By the time I arrived there were only six names on the clipboard, but it was early yet. I added my name to the list and forked over my $17 ($15 plus $2 "entry fee"). I was given my "one free drink" coupon and told to come back at ten of eleven. When I returned, there were 30 players milling about waiting for play to begin. An announcement was made and we each drew a card which contained our seat and table assignment. I got seat three on table 10 (we would be using tables 8, 9 & 10 in the modest Circus Circus Poker Room/Race & Sports Book). Our $17 entitled us to $1000 in chips. Just before play commenced, we were all given the option of purchasing $300 more for an additional $3-- A deal that all but two players took advantage of.

Trish was our dealer. She was young, personable, efficient and she explained the rules "for those who are beginners or for those who may have forgotten them." ("One more thing, gentlemen, please toss the chips and the cards a little closer to me, as I am six months pregnant and can't reach as far as I'd like.") She dealt us each two cards and we were off!

Within three hands, three of our twelve players were gone! Seat # 9 was an athletic-looking dude who looked familiar (I gotta figure he was tuning up for the July 6 No Limit Hold'em Celebrity Poker Tournament at the Reno Hilton, and probably was a Sixer or an Eagle at one time. According to the local entertainment rag, Jo Jo White, George Gervin and Charley Taylor are among the legendary sports figures in town for the Hilton tourney.) He was solidly built and he wasted no time, betting aggressively on the second hand. knocking out the two players to my right.

I wasn't getting any cards. At all. Within 23 minutes, I was history. I will spare you the details. I will say that I got in on two medium-sized pots. On one of them, I folded when Seat #12 raised by $500. Too rich for me. I stayed in one pot until the end, went all in... and lost to an old geezer who had a pair of queens. Done! Finished in my first-ever live poker tourney!

I am glad I did it. I will do it again! Far from being a frustrating or negative experience, it was fascinating. I realize that my problem was simply bad luck. A coupla decent hole cards and things could have gone the other way.

We'll be in Vegas in October, so I'll keep an eye out for a similar tournament-- daytime, low buy-in price, etc. I might also seek out a 2-4 table-- the opposite of No Limit, sort of-- it's a slower, more controlled brand of poker that doesn't get out of hand so quickly like No Limit does. And when I find myself in a gambling town, I'll seek out those freebie magazines devoted to poker-- they often contain info, tips, lingo, etc. And I'll watch it on the telly when it's on and my schedule allows. I've also downloaded a decent computer version of Texas Holdem called Just Hold'em Poker that allows one to go head-to-head with a ten-player table of poker celebs like Chris Moneymaker and Gus Hansen.

As I returned to the Silver Legacy, I passed by the Circus Circus midway stage and saw the 11:00 show-- a dog act! There was a white pooch-- a Nipper-type dog-- seated high on a pedestal while crazy, caliope music played in the background. He looked bored, like he was phoning it in. He seemed tired... they probably had him up doing radio. Poor bastard probably hated doing the early show-- not very good crowds!.