TMZ.com reported not 48 hours ago on a complaint that Andy Dick was chucking bottles into his neighbors rear garden. And yesterday, there was another TMZ.com item about Dick attacking a photographer after he was refused entry to the trendy nightclub Opera in Hollywood.

Today there's a report on AP that Dick was busted on a street in Columbus, OH, for pissing on the sidewalk.

He was in town working the Funny Bone and Bone manager Dave Stroupe ran down the list of offenses:

...the 41-year-old actor-comedian made inappropriate comments while on stage, groped patrons, took women into the men's room and urinated on the floor and on at least one person.

Somewhere, there is a comedy club manager who is reading this and saying, "Maybe we could bring him in here for Valentine's Day!"

That's an average of one bizarre incident per day. If he keeps this up, people are going to start looking at him funny.

Acappella Productions is producing the South African leg of the New York Underground Comedy Fest in October. They're seeking a comedian. They want comics to audition via the WWW. Here are the details:

So, as many of you know we're hosting New York Underground South Africa.

We've decided that the official New York Underground Comedy Festival would be nothing without some American flavor. Ever wanted to visit South Africa?

We are conducting video auditions for headlining American comedians. If you would like to win a trip to perform in SA, please send me a MySpace email with the following:

1. Full name
2. Bio (including big shows & awards)
3. A link to a YouTube clip or two of you doing stand-up. Needs to be decent quality.

Conditions:
1. Acappella will pay for your standard return flights (anywhere in USA to JNB airport), 3-star accomodation, ground transportation.
2. You need to be in posession of a valid passport.
3. You need to be available from Monday 1 Oct to Saturday 6 Oct. The show nights are Wed 3, Thu 4, Fri 5 in Johannesburg.
4. You will be interviewed live in-studio on SA's biggest national radio station.
5. The flight and accomodation is for one person only, if you want to bring friends, family and pets, you may, but at your own expense.
6. You will need to cover food and beverage costs, which isn't that bad considering you get 7 of our Rand for 1 of your Dollars.

Acappella's website is here, but they're requesting that all correspondence regarding the audition process be sent via their Acappella Productions MySpace site.

FOS Sean L. McCarthy, blogging for the Daily News, caught an Aspen Daily News article that quoted HBO officials as saying that they're not returning to Aspen in '08... nor are they going to migrate to Santa Barbara.

We called that one. All this hoo-ha about moving it to Santa Barbara was just to squeeze Aspen. Or just cover. Whatever it was, we figured that once the Vegas fest was up and running (and demonstrating the potential for making money for all interested parties), "Aspen" (the concept, not the actual conclave in the mountains of Colorado) was toast.

Says McCarthy:

Unless HBO decides to include stand-up or sketch showcases in Vegas, this means Montreal's Just For Laughs is now the only sure place for comedians to get seen by top network scouts, agents and managers.

(Unless, of course, you discount Los Angeles and New York. But, we're certain he meant the only North American comedy festival.)

We remind all that The Comedy Festival in Vegas is conducting Lucky 21, a multi-platform "contest" that drags relatively unknown comics from all corners of the continent to Sin City for showcasing. They did it last year and they're doing it again this year, so someone must have derived benefit from it.

It will be interesting to see how this shakes out. We are predicting that JFL will migrate to Toronto and that "Aspen" will be folded into Vegas. And Vegas will rightfully assume its place at the center of the comedy universe.

You think "Vegas," and, rightly or wrongly, you (reflexively) think Elvis, Wayne Newton, Frank Sinatra and Shecky Greene. If you go general rather than specific, you think singers, gamblers, showgirls, hookers and comics. It's just the way it is. Standup comedy is in the Las Vegas DNA. Like we said before, the history (official and unofficial), the customs, the habits, the attitudes-- all of it was shaped, to some extent, by the comedians who lived there, who worked there, who played there. It's not such a fun place by accident.

And, for thousands of people in the latter half of the twentieth century, Vegas was the first place (and for many, the only place, the last place), they ever saw a comedian perform live. For those people, the city in the desert is forever entangled with the idea of standup comedy.

How appropriate that a comedy festival should blossom there in the beginning of the 21st century.

# posted by Brian McKim & Traci Skene @ 7:48 PM 2 comments

Ernie's CJAD Comedy Show, which was regularly scheduled for tonight at 11 PM, was instead a tribute to the late comedy impresario.

In studio were Heidi Foss, Joey Elias and Scott Faulconbridge. Joining the wake by phone were DJ McCarthey, John Rogers, Freddy James, Phil Schuchat, Basile, Jeff Rothpan and many others. All shared their favorite stories about Ernie and there was a lot of laughter and more than a few touching moments.

It was the next best thing to actually attending. We know all those comics from our many trips north to work for Ernie. We listened via stream through CJAD.com and it was like being in the greenroom at Winnie's.

We recorded it. (Most of it anyway-- there was a 5-minute gap when the stream choked for some reason.) If CJAD doesn't offer it, maybe we'll shrink it to an mp3 file and offer it via YouTube.

Editors note: Heidi Foss was mistakenly identified as "Heidi Fleiss," which is no doubt something Ernie would have found hysterical. And something, we hope, Heidi would find hysterical as well. We've known Heidi for over a decade... we were tired and upset. That's our excuse!

And Freddie James was misidentified as "Freddie Charles."

We apologize for both errors.

Mp3 file of the Tribute here (It's 50 MB, and there's about three minutes missing from the last segment-- our stream kicked out briefly-- but it's great to listen to.)

Ralph Harris GONE!

They teased us unnecessarily at first.

They brought out Doug Benson for a short set. His surprise/non-surprise guest appearance at the top of the show got things off to a lighthearted start. Benson stated that he was darn happy to have been designated as the "sixth funniest person IN THE WORLD!" And we especially liked it when the camera cut to Dante in the audience. (Benson even squeezed in a "Hi, Dante!" between jokes.)

But then, instead of announcing who was eliminated, they merely announced one comic's name, Gerry Dee in this case, who would perform this evening. Then they brought him out and had him do a set.

And it went like that, cruelly, excruciatingly, until they were down to two.

Next up was Lavell Crawford. Now let's meet Lavell's family! Cut to: footage of Lavell visiting home in St. Louis and... eating! Of course! Crawford was much more confident this week. So much so, it was easy to forget that they were still engaged in a competition. That's right! This set will be judged by the "global audience" at home! Perhaps the stay of execution and the way in which it's administered (seconds before they're introduced) that instills a sort of giddy confidence.

There goes that prediction. Crawford was lucky, because Lavell was not Lavell last week. Predicting is pointless from here on out.

The hardest we laughed all night was when Crawford opened with a callback to Dee's set (a reference to Dee's supposed grade school project where he and a classmate taped their penises together).

Amy Schumer was next and, after the Going Home video package (that showed Schumer in a tiny, white bathing suit, playing beach volleyball!), Schumer came out and did a set that sounded much like that which might have been cobbled together from a first-year comedy joke idea notebook. (The Female Half actually had the "I dated a mime... and I just felt that there was this wall between us" joke in one of her early notebooks-- actually did it a few open mikes, but quickly dropped it, as it was tired even in 1985.)

The worst thing that could happen to Schumer would be to continue on another week in this competition, as further sets like that only serve to point up just how in over her head she is. It's time to break out the checkbook and buy some material. (Throw Matt Kirshen a few grand and have him crank out the next set or two.)

Since the last two left were Ralph Harris and Jon Reep, the time came to ditch one.

Whose dreams of winning the title will come to an end? We'll find out after a spate of commercials for Heineken, Benadryl, Clorox Wipes and T-Mobile.

And, as we already know, it was Ralph Harris.

The slo-mo tribute to Harris, featured none of the video that they no doubt shot in Harris' hometown of Philadelphia. We wonder why his goodbye package featured none of the Harris clan, but showed Deb DiGiovanni instead? We know that they shot footage back east and we also found out that Harris' mother is ill. We compliment him for not using the illness to gain sympathy votes.

Harris said, "We're on national TV as comedians; what more could you ask for?" and he exhorted the audience on hand, and at home, to go to a comedy club and see live comedy. A classy move that displayed both optimism and altruism.

They showed Reep's journey back to Hick'ry. Then Reep came out and did a confident, high-energy set.

But it was somewhat anti-climactic. Leaving the ouster of one comic to the next-to-last spot seemed somewhat odd. And not at all fair to Reep, since he had to come out and perform just after Harris' exit. Might they have been better off having all five come out and do sets, then kick one off at the end? The loser gets in America's face one last time and the tension is preserved until the end. Or just kick off the loser at the outset. Sure, you'd lose the tension, but the tension they had tonight was all jumbled and ambiguous an not at all entertaining anyway.

Josh Blue and Harland Wiliams will perform next week.

Just got this from Jim Pacheco, Montreal radio station CJAD producer:

It's with a heavy heart that I report on the passing of Comedy Nest owner and host of the CJAD Comedy Show, Ernie Butler. He passed away at 7:04am Wednesday from a short battle with stomach cancer. He was 58. He leaves behind his lovely wife Marie, and three children: Shannon, 17, Silver, 30, and Ryan, 19.

There will be a special tribute show tonight on CJAD from 11pm-Midnight EST, when the Comedy Show normally airs. It can be heard at CJAD. He will be sorely missed.

Thanks,

Jim Pacheco
Producer
CJAD Comedy Show

We just saw Ernie at the Hyatt, very briefly. We heard from another comedian that Ernie was ill, but we had no idea just how bad off he was. We emailed him just the other day for a progress report and to ask his permission to let the general public know about his illness. Of course, we never got a reply.

The Male Half recalls meeting Butler at Caroline's, when it was on 8th St. in the Chelsea district, perhaps in 1986:

I finished my set and was making my way to the back of the house, when a short, mustachioed man seated in the audience handed me his business card-- "Ernie Butler, Comedy Nest, Montreal, QC, Canada."

He liked my set and he said he wanted to bring me to Montreal to headline me. I was very excited and especially so because he was the first person to headline me in a legitimate comedy club. We went to Montreal every year for many years thereafter and our association with Ernie is one of the longest ones we've had in this business.

Ernie's love of standup-- as proprietor of the Nest and as the host of his radio show-- was quite obvious. He is one of the main reasons that Montreal is one of the best comedy towns in the world. We'll miss him.

Our condolences go to Ernie's family and to all the comics in Montreal.

Sign the Ernie Butler Guest Book at Legacy.com here.

Read the Montreal Gazetter obit here.

News of the Villanova University incident that we posted about Monday and yesterday is rippling through the WWW (and, from what we can tell, through the MSM in small wavelets).

We're left with a question or two.

It's rather obvious that the reporter (Cathy Gandolfo) did a serious hack job on Steve Trevino. It would appear from the piece she filed that she made no attempt to contact him for a statement. Unless we're mistaken, that would be standard procedure in a story such as this one. And, it seems that she made no attempt to verify the particulars of the story as it was presented by the folks at 'Nova-- 90-minute contract? Pulled after 15 minutes? Used the "N-word?"

We must wonder, though, exactly why she failed to adhere to even the minimum of journalistic standards on this story. A rookie reporter would at least try to find a student or two who might have found Trevino to be entertaining, perhaps if only in the interest of presenting an account that had some tension, some "texture," maybe. Gandolfo found none. Judging from the tone of the story she was determined to characterize Trevino as clearly wrong and characterize the university and the students as obviously wronged. We suppose that this is standard operating procedure for Local Television News.

Or is it?

Perhaps the incident at Villanova is yet another example of shecksism!

It was nearly a year ago that we coined the term "shecksism" (rhymes with "sexism"):

Shecksism (shĕk'siz'əm)

1 : prejudice or discrimination based on employment in the field of humor; especially : discrimination against standup comics
2 : behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on making one's living telling jokes

The rest of that post is here.

Gandolfo (and her editors at 'PVI) displayed a remarkable willingness to believe the story fed to her by the University, and they displayed a total disregard for the comedian's side of the story. This is unusual. Even common criminals, or those charged or about to be charged-- politicians, rapists, mobsters-- are accorded the courtesy of at least an opportunity to answer the public allegations made against them.

Are we making too big a deal out of this? Hey-- we aren't the ones who devoted a rather substantial two minutes and eight seconds of a half-hour newscast to the story. If the GM at WPVI thought it was a big deal, it was a big deal.

More importantly, though, it was a big deal to the comedian himself. And should be a big deal to all comedians. The subtext of the story was that a comic blew into town, disregarded the University officials, used foul language in an inappropriate setting, violated his contract and acted in a wholly unprofessional manner. And, perhaps the most damaging (and untrue) allegation of all, in this post-Michael Richards world, was that he used the "N-word." They went nuclear-- if you want to seriously damage a (non-African American) professional comedian in 2007, you tell people that he is a racist. You tell them that he used... it!

Did they lie about that part? How could they say the heard something when they didn't? Easy. The Female Half uses no word stronger than "shit" or "ass" in her 30- to 45-minute act. Yet, countless times over the years, she has been confronted by audience members, after the show who castigate her for using the "F-word." They will even get to the point of arguing with her when she denies their claim, contending that she is mistaken! How could this be? Simple: People hear what they want to hear. And they especially hear what the reporter wants them to hear.

We posted yesterday about a comic, Steve Trevino, who played Villanova University on Friday night who was the subject of a nasty story on Monday on local television station WPVI. (See post below, "College gig gone horribly wrong!") We ended the post by speculating that there had to be more to the story.

Turns out there is another side. And it's on Trevino's blog and it's contained in a bulletin that Trevino sent out, via MySpace, at 9:36 PM EDT. Here's the meat of it:

Recently, I was asked to perform at Villanova University. I was asked to do a clean show as I am at most colleges. When I arrived I was picked up by two students who were head of some student organization. The first thing I covered when I met them was what they expected from me and how PG did they wanted my show to be. I was told not to worry, these are college students and that PG-18 would be just fine. I went through the bits I planned on doing and was told they were okay and shouldn't be a problem. Before I went on stage, I again asked which words I could use like shit and the F bomb and again I was told those words weren't a problem.

I also find it funny that they chose to portray me as a racist and say that I used the N word, which I absolutely never did. Ironically, my roommate for the last five years has been a black man. I also find it entertaining that they say I was "given the hook" after only fifteen minutes. I had actually been on stage 35-40 minutes. I was handed a note asking me to wrap it up and telling me the show was over. I politely wrapped up show and said goodnight. When I exited the stage security was waiting for me and I was told I would have to leave. I then told security I wanted to speak with someone in charge before I left. It was not until this point that I actually got to see or even speak with Kathy Burns, Vice President of the school, who appears in the news segments. Mrs. Burns got on stage and informed the audience that the show was over. The best part of the untold story is, at that point the audience chanted "Let him stay!" and actually booed her for asking me to leave. When Mrs. Burns finally spoke with me, she told me my act was not what we had agreed upon and that racist humor and drinking jokes were not acceptable at Villanova. So I guess at "VillaNoFun" nobody drinks and nobody says racial jokes. It's crazy that they don't do racial humor. Who did I offend? --The 95% of the audience that was white or the other 5% who where Black, Asian, Hispanic, and Other. I confronted the gentleman who had repeatedly given me the okay and he admitted in front of Mrs. Burns that he had cleared my jokes and my language.

Steve Trevino

What follows is the email sent out by VP of Student Life, the Rev. John Stack, sent out to the student body. This is priceless.

As you may have heard, Friday night, as part of the New Student Orientation program, there was a comedian whose act consisted of hurtful, inappropriate, and offensive remarks about race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and gender. Please note that the Orientation staff had reviewed tapes of this comedian's performances prior to booking and had a contract with him clearly outlining standards for language and content. The comedian chose to violate this contract during his performance. The Orientation staff ended the act after 15 minutes, when it was clear that the comedian was in violation of his contract and of our community standards. Sue Ciccone, the Director of New Student Orientation, sent an email to the first year students later in the evening to address the issue, which I've included at the bottom of this email.As a result of this incident, many of our new students were hurt and offended. As members of the Student Life Staff and of the Villanova community, we share this hurt and concern.

Resident Assistants were made aware of the incident, and the Diversity Peer Educators and members of Campus Ministry were briefed. They incorporated the incident into their presentation to the new students on Saturday and Sunday to afford students an opportunity to discuss what had happened.

While I believe that those offended now know that the University acted quickly and appropriately, I am asking you to alert us if you become aware of students who feel any level of discomfort due to this incident. Please know that Dr. Terry Nance, Assistant VP for Multicultural Affairs, and Kathy Byrnes, Associate VP for Student Life, as well as other Student life staff are available to meet with any concerned students or parents.

I hope that this information is helpful to you. All of us in Student Life thank you for your assistance.

Sincerely,
Rev. John P. Stack, O.S.A.
Vice President for Student Life

YES! We must afford the offended students the "opportunity to discuss what happened," lest they bottle it all up inside them and perhaps explode! The poor dears!

Below is the email sent to new students on Friday night by Sue Ciccone, Director of Orientation:

Dear First-Year Student:

On behalf of the Orientation Program, I would like to sincerely apologize for the content of the comedian's show this evening. The message you heard tonight was not consistent with our Orientation program, Villanova's mission or our Augustinian tradition. It was not a part of who we are or what we stand for, nor does the comedian represent Villanova in any way. If you have any concerns or would like to discuss anything, please do not hesitate to speak with your OC, any member of the Orientation staff or myself.

Sincerely,
Sue Ciccone

Is there a more ridiculous bunch of people than those currently entrusted with the care of our adolescents on college campuses today? How many students could there possibly be that actually require this kind of ass-wiping? And are they worth catering to in this manner? How much further off could the student life bureaucrats be in their estimation of the emotional maturity of their charges?

This is the reason Dave Attell doesn't do college gigs any more.

We spoke to Trevino on the phone and he sounds totally credible. He says that not only has he done many college gigs, but he's even done several gigs for T.E.C.-- described on their website as "A Catholic Movement of Spirituality for Older Adolescents and Young Adults"-- so Trevino knows the score when it comes to keeping it clean.

What WPVI did and what the drones at Villanova did was reprehensible-- 'PVI for not contacting the comic for his side of the story and 'Nova for not accepting any of the responsibility for what happened. Villanova felt the need to not only blame the comic, but they also told two huge whoppers-- The comic used the "N-word," which he denies, and, they claim that the comic failed to live up to his side of the agreement by doing only 15 minutes of a contracted 90 minutes. Trevino said he did 40 of a contracted 45. Huge difference.

Ass-covering at Villanova by bureaucrats and student lackeys and shoddy reporting by veteran reporter Cathy Gandolfo have combined to potentially damage the reputation of a professional comedian in the sixth largest market in the country.

Gandolfo should have known better-- we were able to contact Trevino easily via MySpace. She could have just as easily done so.

Steve Trevino, an L.A. comedian booked into a "welcome event" at suburban Philly college Villanova, is making quite a stir here in the Delaware Valley.

WPVI, the local ABC affiliate, is running a 2:08 segment on their news broadcast (that's a lot of time on a half-hour broadcast, even on a slow newsday!) about his Friday night show-- he got the hook after 15 mintues.

Trevino is alleged to have spewed, "bad language, including the n-word and racist and sexist humor."

University officials say they hired Trevino after they saw a benign tape of his work and he promised a clean show.

"We have a contract and we say we are a Catholic university. We have standards that we want met. Even when he was here that day, we talked about having a PG-13 show. So, we really did the things that we normally do. It was very upsetting. He was very offensive," said Kathy Byrnes, and assistant vice president of student life.

After 15 minutes the show was stopped and Trevino asked to leave the stage.

The package included a clip of Trevino on Byron Allen's Comics Unleashed. Our favorite, wince-inducing part was the student who said she "turned her hearing aids off" to avoid hearing any more of the performance!

Ouch!

We have an email into Trevino to see what his side is.

We wonder what happened. Who doesn't know that colleges are home to the weeniest, most sensitive folks on the planet? And this was a Catholic college! Is there anyone on the planet who doesn't know that 'Nova is an Augustinian Catholic institution?

Who sends out a clean ("benign" in this case!) tape and then drops the dreaded "n-word" in the first fifteen? The accounts all say he was required to do a 90-minute show. Perhaps he was daunted by the amount of time. But dropping the nasty in the first fifteen?

And, benign videotape notwithstanding, what kind of student activities goofball books a comedian into a welcome weekend event after checking out the comic's website and seeing an illustration of a t-shirt that says, "I support SINGLE MOMS"--accompanied by a silhouette of a stripper hugging a stripper pole, no less?!?!

Sounds like there might be plenty of blame to go around.

Trevino's official site seems to be non-responsive, as none of the links work-- not even the "NOW AVAILABLE" banner over the Single Moms T-shirts!

There's got to be more to this story.

It stars Josh Sneed, Bill Squire, Jim Tews, Mike Polk, Michael Ivy and Chad Zumock and, in 5:35, it illustrates the "11 Guys You'll Always Find Playing Pickup Basketball."


Youtube seems a little sluggish today, so if the above link to the film doesn't work, go to FunnyOrDie to watch.

If you've ever been in a pickup basketball game, you'll bust a gut.

Kliph Nesteroff has written a lengthy biographical article on Loretta Aiken, aka Moms Mabley, for WFMU's Beware of the Blog.

It's a sprawling rundown of the fascinating life of Mabley, whose time on earth saw her connected, in one way or another, to Shakespeare, Mantan Moreland, Robert Taft, Howard Hesseman, Richard Pryor and Milton the Monster among many others.

Moms Mabley was the star of the all-Black cast film Boarding House Blues (1948) in which she played landlord to a building full of vaudeville performers behind on their rent. The script is credited to Hal Seeger. Seeger wrote four pictures for the all-Black genre-- his first jobs in show business. Seeger was a white man that became famous in the world of television animation with the shows Milton the Monster and Batfink. Boarding House Blues also featured "Crip" Heard, a tap dancer with only one arm and one leg who provides the movie with its greatest moments (obviously).

Check out Nesteroff's site, Generation Exploitation, also.

Not really. We found out who one of the "special guests" will be next Wednesday.

Doug Benson!

That's right-- Doug Benson, ejected from the show on Episode 9, after a head-to-head-to-head with Ralph Harris and Matt Kirshen, will return to the very same theater to do a set on Episode 11!

Should be funny. A chance for Benson to stretch out and not have to worry about voting.

Due to be released September 11, "Comics On Duty, We Love You Mrs. Bevins" features Danny Bevins, Sarah Tiana, Dave Mishevitz and John Bizarre on a tour of Iraq, entertaining the troupes.

Reminds us of a similar effort by Jeffery Ross from two years ago, the superb "Patriot Act," which depicted Ross and others on tour with Drew Carey.

What's happened to the network TV specials depicting these tours? Bob Hope's were among the most highly rated of all work (or at least fondly remembered). We bet that the nets would find that contemporary shows would garner similarly high numbers.

The DVD is a production of High 5 Records, " the ultimate vision of the founder of an international chain of comedy clubs opened and operated in five countries and throughout the Caribbean." Mwaa ha ha ha haaaa! Sounds like some sort of Bond villain who intends to change the rotation of the earth through comedy to melt the polar icecaps and corner the inter-galactic spring water market!

The Male Half appeared on The Tonight Show last night. Sorta.

The show re-ran an episode from last month, when they were showing a "Pass The Mike" segment-- a well-edited series of quick jokes from comics, taped at various parties and in the lobby and bar of the Hyatt Regency Hotel at the Just For Laughs Festival last month in Montreal.

In the foreground of one segment was Andrew Grose, doing a joke in the tent in the rear of the Hyatt during the Just For Laughs afternoon cocktail party.

In the background, clearly visible on the right of the screen over Grose's shoulder, were the Male Half, with Joe Satterfield and Terry Turner of TS Talent. (The Female Half was totally obscured by the gangly Turner.)

John Monoghan, writing for the Detroit Free Press, tells of a movie about the Detroit comedy scene, "Be Funny."

Though a dozen Detroit-area comics are featured, the movie spends much of its time with (Mike) Green, who is seen in hilarious bits on stage and also at home on the phone trying to line up gigs in a tough economy.

The film premieres at 7 PM Sunday at Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle.

Helen Herimbi, writing for the South African entertainment site Tonight, previews next month's first ever South African Comedy Awards. SACA CEO Sam Hendrickse spouted the usual boilerplate stuff that awards show organizers say.

But this stuck out:

"We need to create an A level, a B level and a development level of comedy, so that people can trust spending their money wisely."

He didn't say that out loud, did he? The implications are potentially huge and ominous. Our head... she spins! We have an informal, implied system here in North America-- the Headliner/Middle/Emcee Levels. This A, B, D(evelopment) thing seems a bit regimented, a little too... codified. Perhaps it's a language thing. Maybe we misunderstand Mr. Hendrickse, but he seems to have shifted from being on the side of the talent to being on the side of the customer. More like Ralph Nader than Budd Friedman. Imagine if Consumer Reports ran an issue that advised consumers on how to choose wisely when it comes to a comedy show!

Will there be an application process to upgrade one's status from Level D to Level B? Perhaps we worry too much.

Esquire online has a short essay by Louis CK on what it feels like to bomb.

...Bombing means: You lost them, they're gone, and you just roast in hell until your time is up. You want to get offstage. But you also don't want to get offstage till you can solve it. Millions of things race through your head, but it's mostly visceral. It's mostly in your gut: Your stomach gets a shitty feeling, your throat constricts, you can't breathe in a natural rhythm, you're too aware of how you're breathing. It's like being high, but bad.

Read the rest.

NOTE: This whole controversy could be over in a minute if the people at WYSP were to declare the runner-up in the contest the new winner and award him the coveted opening spot.

If anyone should be upset about how this is playing out, it should be the person who placed second. That's usually how contests work. Even Miss America had a clause in the contract that stipulated that the runner-up would assume the duties of the winner if the winner craps out.

"Ed McGonigal is a sore winner," says the Philadelphia Daily News' Dan Gross in yesterday's edition (scroll down to fifth item).

McGonigal won a slot on the bill on September 15 when this year's Traveling Virus Comedy Tour comes to the Tweeter in Camden. The show will feature Bob Saget, Jim Norton, Louis CK, Patrice O'Neal among others.

McGonigal won the spot by competing in a contest held through WYSP's Kidd Chris Show, on which McGonigal is a regular ('YSP carries O & A as well, so the audiences for the shows are commingled).

McGonigal, SHECKYmagazine readers may recall, appeared on the Kidd Christmas show in December at Philly's Electric Factory, so he's familiar to O & A/Kid Chris audiences... even somewhat of a fave, maybe even something of a draw. But McGonigal is backing out of next month's show because he won't be paid for the performance.

According to Gross, "Kidd Chris tore into him for his decision to bail on the show, as did O & A's Norton."

"I've spent 42 years making bad decisions. I see no reason to stop now," McGonigal said.

Considering the eye-popping amounts of cash that the others on the bill are no doubt getting (we suspect that Saget is at least getting five figures... and that he can't be the only one), it is rather unseemly for the O & A people to be so tight.

And it's totally ridiculous when you consider the hellish reception he'll no doubt get when he mounts the stage. Again, readers of SHECKYmagazine will recall that even many of the nationally-known acts on the stage at the Tweeter last year were subjected to the most reprehensible treatment. (Bill Burr's legendary snapout was in response to that boorish behavior.)

To ask McGonigal to collect his "prize" with good cheer and for no money, and then to berate him for refusing to do so, takes some colossal nerve.

Bellamy Bill started off the show with a textbook example of how to do 7- to 12-year-old topical material-- just start it off by saying, "I shook hands with Barack Obama the other day... (transition)... How about that Bill Clinton?" We have no problem with comics doing 12-year-old jokes. But 12-year-old political material? It's noticeable.

Four minutes for each comic, then they cut off the mike. Thems the rules. No one went over. They performed in the following order:

Lavell Crawford
Jon Reep
Ralph Harris
Amy Schumer
Gerry Dee

Crawford seemed nervous... seemed not in command. He goofed up word order here and there, added in extraneous words, quite possibly left out others. A large part of the appeal of this large man is his confidence. Tonight he had little. Perhaps it was only noticeable to our highly-trained eyes.

Reep, on the other hand, was very confident. And he has a dangerous likeability factor. The energy plus the confidence and likeability will take him far.

Harris appears to be showcasing his acting talents. He is doing characters. (Second in that category is Reep, who is doing a character, one character-- It's Jon Reep.) But Harris is doing several and he does more than one in a short set. Does anyone look at comedians and assess whether or not they can "build a sitcom around them?" We're told the sitcom is dead. If it's not, then Reep and Harris are two worthy candidates and, regardless of how the voting goes over the next few weeks, they'll be sitting around a lot of bowls of fruit in executive offices. Both have been on sitcoms-- Harris starred in his own and Reep was a recurring character on Rodney Carrington's show, so none of this is a stretch.

Schumer is unashamedly flogging this female sympathy vote thing-- "Women have to be twice as funny to get half the credit." Either she believes it... or she's cynically pandering to get the female/eunuch vote. Either way, it's revolting. (What would Schumer have done this year if Kathleen Madigan had been in the final five? None of this would have worked.) It will probably garner her enough votage to keep her in until the next to last week.

Dee closed the show. He'll make it through this round for three reasons: He went last. He's the only Canadian, so he'll garner all the Canadian vote. During his set, the camera panned to Season Three winner John Heffron, thereby sending out a subliminal message to all the voters that Dee is The Next John Heffron.

Prediction: Lavell Crawford-- GONE!

Lavell Crawford 866 978-2701
Jon Reep 866 978-2702
Ralph Harris 866 978-2703
Amy Schumer 866 978-2704
Gerry Dee 866 978-2705

These numbers are for US and Canada only! All others can vote online.

Next week, we'll find out who is gone. The remaining four will perform again and there'll be two special guests!

Prediction: The two special guests will be Howie Mandel and Caroline Rhea each of whom host NBC shows. And, in a long shot, Dane Cook. (He's got a movie coming out, so it could happen.) Or Sinbad, because his management want to put to rest the rumors that he died. Jimmy Fallon is also a good guess. Although not a standup comic, he did just sign a big deal with NBC.

Or Kathy Griffin, who has a show on NBC-sister station Bravo and who was just nominated for an emmy.

Back on July 30, we posted about a Houston Chronicle story in which Houston Laff Stop owner Jeff McFerrin bemoaned the "diluted comic pool" facing modern club owners and which also quoted Cap City Comedy Club GM Margie Coyle. (That post is here.)

We immediately heard from Zanies big cheese Bert Haas, who expressed an interest in addressing some of the issues raised in the story and in the post. Here is is two cents:

Dear Shecky Magazine:

In response to the article about a shortage of talent,
I would respond that too many funny comedians exist
for there ever to be a shortage of talent.

There is always a shortage of comedians who are well
known enough to sell tickets, but this has been the
case since about 1985.

A current development in the industry that is
noteworthy is the movement away from comedy clubs and
toward venues. By comedy club I mean a club that
sells tickets no matter who is appearing based on its
reputation for presenting great comedy. Zanies in
Chicago, FunnyBone in St. Louis, Comedy Works in
Denver, Punchline in Atlanta, and the Ice House in
Pasadena are comedy clubs that come to mind. These
clubs are traditionally well run, well booked, and
provide a supportive environment for the comedians.

By venue I mean a room that books only acts that are
expected to sell tickets - the big barn venue that
customers do not attend except to see a specific act.
The problem is that comedians who can sell that many
tickets are most in demand and thus less available.
Only at this level is there a shortage of comedians.

Too often I am hearing from fellow bookers, "he
doesn't sell tickets." Unless the comedian is
commanding top dollar, he is not expected to sell
tickets. (And please understand I use the all
encompassing "he" rather than the more clumsy "he/she"
but the rule applies to male and female acts.) It is
the responsibility of the comedy club to sell tickets.
That is why the club keeps the lion's share of the
revenue because the club carries all the
responsibility of paying rent, buying advertising,
staffing the room, providing the sound equipment, etc.
What the comedy club provides are great shows for its
customers and a great place to work for the comedians.

My question to my fellow bookers is this: When was
the last time you booked a show just because it was a
great show and not because you thought it would sell
tickets? If the answer is over a month ago, then the
shortage of talent exists only in your mind, not in
the market. And there will always be a shortage of
talent.

Bert Haas
Executive Vice President
Zanies Comedy Clubs, Inc.

Fear not, we will be blogging it. (The hooter surgery went well. The Female Half is comfortable and resting. Scroll down to the Stanhope posting below to see the actual technical term for the procedure.)

Tonight there will be no challenges, merely performance. How... novel. Five comics doing what they do best. We would bet money that more time will be spent on recapping past episodes, showing backstage "drama" and other nonsense than will be spent on actual standup.

Such is the nature of Reality TV, we suppose.

Doug Stanhope, self-identified "road pig" who plays "all over the country and all over the world in a lot of shitholes," and who says, " Shitholes are my favorite places to be," has published a screed on his myspace on how to book yourself into a string of those very shit holes for fun and profit. Sort of.

Essentially, he's talking about liberation from comedy clubs and comedy club owners and striking out on your own to do, for lack of a more technical term, "door deals."

Listen up, queercakes. You don't need club owners. On every corner of every town there's a bar with a stage and a microphone. They also have seats where they'd like people to be drinking, the heavier the better. They don't care if you're doing comedy, stripping or juggling onions to get people in the door.

Between Myspace and YouTube and the thousand other copycat sites, there is no reason you can't build up a fanbase that will fill those seats in any given town, be it a comedy club or an Elks Lodge or any other boozer joint.

The lengthy, often rambling essay makes its points amid vivid, Thompson-esque depictions of life in the clubs and tangents that talk about the kind of acts he prefers to open his shows.

But the basic thrust is that a comic can be captain of his own comedy vessel. And there is much to recommend in his tract. And there is a lot to be said for crafting individual deals and handling much of the detail.

But it's not easy, it takes a lot of work and it takes some risk. We figure it's the risk that is the biggest hurdle for most. And, conversely, it's the deferment of risk that keeps so many comics in the clubs-- when you work in the clubs, you assume almost none of that risk; it's all borne by the club owner. A lot of comics can't break free of that arrangement and they pale at the thought of having it any other way. And it is only when they attain a certain level of notoriety that they even think of asking (or their management/representation even thinks of asking) for a "piece of the action."

We've done the occasional door deal. We've had success here and there. And some disasters. It is a lot of work, but when it succeeds, the reward (and the attendant freedom) is great.

It is even more work when you are not a draw. Not being a draw means that you must plan (and maybe even finance) some ambitious promotion. Difficult when it is in your own backyard, much moreso when it is 100 miles away or 1,000 miles from home. Modern conveniences notwithstanding-- YouTube, MySpace, college radio-- it's still quite a logistical undertaking.

Stanhope maintains that comics who choose to work in clubs (which he characterizes as venues, "who peddle mediocrity through fishbowl lotteries") are creatures of habit or comfortable in those surroundings-- the implication being that they're lazy or mediocre. There's even a hint that such comedians might be "chicken."

The further implication seems to be that clubs stifle creativity and that they serve up mediocre acts to ordinary audiences. Stanhope prefers the "chaos and adrenaline" of what has become known as "non-traditional venues."

That might be true in some clubs, but it is certainly not true in all. We've had spectacular, savvy crowds in comedy clubs. Conversely, we've played non-traditional venues who had no idea how to handle comedy crowds-- or who attracted audiences who had no idea how to consume comedy-- and the whole thing was a shit mess.

But the big difference between the clubs and the non-trad door deals is that there is a guarantee in the clubs. Most comics (it is probably safe to say) are desirous of a guarantee. So much so that they gladly give up more lucrative arrangements that might require more effort on their part. It's a tradeoff.

And, let's face it: No matter how many MySpace pals you have, no matter how many clips you have up on YouTube or .wav files of your act are circulating through LimeWire, you're still going to be at the mercy of the venue and you're still going to be dodging all manner of obstacles toward your goal of a packed house.

We just had a bad experience with a door deal. It illustrates the perils of such a mode of operation. But a previous experience with the same venue illustrates nicely just how pleasant and profitable they can be, too.

We hooked up with Higher Ground, a mainly music venue in Vermont. We agreed to do two shows on a Saturday in January and it went well. Not perfectly, but, if every such engagement went as well, we'd do them all that way.

We agreed to another deal at the same venue, this time in August of this year. There were at least two reasons that it might not go as well as the last time, however: 1) It was summer and 2) A show, with local comedians, was scheduled the Saturday before our show. We agreed to take the chance and we pulled out all stops, promotion-wise.

Then came the deathblow: A MySpace Secret Standup Show, featuring Louis CK, on Thursday night, two nights prior to our show. And... it was free.

There is no way that enough people (in a market the size of Burlington, VT) were going to pay $12-$14 to see us when they had just seen a comic the magnitude of Louis CK two night earlier-- for FREE! (And, since it's a MySpace Secret Show, it wasn't announced until Monday!) After some deliberation, we pulled the plug.

Some comics would say that we should plaster on a smile, make the trip anyway and take the chance. But here's where the absence of a guarantee and the assumption of risk comes into play: We weren't just looking at the prospect of not making money, we were looking at the real prospect of losing money just by making the trip. And losing money is something that we simply cannot afford to do right now.

The Female Half is having surgery tomorrow (a left-breast ductoscopy with major ductile excision... or, as she calls it, "hooter surgery."). We don't have health insurance. We pay cash for everything. We can't assume that kind of risk.

Perhaps in the future, our situation will change. Perhaps we'll have the fiscal cushion to absorb the risk and the MySpace muscle to ensure a healthy turnout. Until then, though, the clubs, with their supposed oppressive atmosphere or their allegedly arbitrary or corrupted methods for choosing or rewarding talent, will be where we predominantly ply our trade.

In a brief AP story, Bob Newhart is among the finalist for a literary honor.

The deadpan comic and sitcom star was one of three finalists announced Tuesday for the Thurber Prize for American Humor, a $5,000 literary honor named for the famed author and humorist James Thurber.

His recent memoir caught the attention of the the folks at The Thurber House. The winner will be announced this fall.

We see the strangest things in our stats. Most often, it's the keywords that folks use to search for something-- which somehow has them ending up at SHECKYmagazine-- that give us pause... or a good laugh. Keywords like:

Filthy+fishy+pussy+jokes

Doug+Benson+groupies

Joe+Rogan+versus+Milton+Berle

Russel+Howard+Shirtless

Howard+Stern+cleft+lip

Gary+Gulman+shirtless

But the ones that keeps popping up, the ones that make us crazy are

Mitch+Hedberg+death+hoax

Bill+Hicks+death+hoax

Rich+Jeni+hoax

We're assuming we have Andy Kaufman to thank for this nonsense. We have a message to all who might be tempted to entertain this ridiculousness: Stop it, now! It's stupid. And to the people who are obviously perpetuating this idiocy: Stop it, now! It's pointless and it's hurtful to the people (the real people) who are left behind, who loved these people and who are still dealing, to this day, with the grief. But it seems like nothing will stop them. The urge to cobble together an alternate reality from the facts at hand is a strong one. The desire to construct fantastic scenario that's a whole lot more interesting than the dull (actual) one is too attractive for these nimrods.

The conspir@cy mania that seems to ensnare too many of the feeble-minded among us is reaching absurd proportions. We watched a two-hour special on the History Channel last night, 9/ll Conspir@cies: Fact or Fiction, which "Examines the various conspir@cy theories espoused on the Internet, in articles and in public forums that attempt to explain the 9/ll attacks." (It re-airs Saturday at 08:00 PM and Sunday at Midnight.)

One of the men at the center of the so-called "truth3r" movement, A1ex Jones, is a syndicated radio host out of Austin. He was featured prominently in the special. As he spoke, we noticed that he bore an eerie resemblance (and, with his Dallas-born, Texas twang sounded like) the late Bill Hicks. Hmmm... this gave us an idea.

You folks want a conspir@cy theory? We'll give you one: Jones is actually Hicks. It all adds up (if you have a funky, "The Truth Is Out There" abacus for a brain). The evidence: Hicks had a lengthy bit on the JFK assassin@tion, he was raised in Texas, Jones was born in Parkland Hospital, which is the very same hospital that JFK was taken shortly after unknown person or persons shot him! They look alike. (See this page for several image of Jones! From certain angles, it's positively eerie!) Hicks faked his own demise (since, after his HBO specials and his multiple Letterman appearances made him a marked man by the totalitarian government!) and re-emerged as a talk show host on Sunday afternoons in Austin. The timeline might be a little hinky, but some of our best minds can work out those details!

There! Are you happy? Now that we've done much of the investigative groundwork, it's up to the rest of you to devote your free time to furrowing out The Truth! (Whoa, dude! We can't go into this in any more detail because we're convinced that someone is tapping our modem.)

Comic Dave Odd, who produces standup in Chicago under the Edge Comedy banner, is opening a full time standup comedy club at the Chicago Center for the Performing Arts.

He'll be christening the new room with a Grand Opening Fundraiser Extravaganza on the 330-seat mainstage this Saturday, August 25th, at 9:30pm. Says Odd:

This show is meant as somewhat of a sampler platter of upcoming acts for the club, as well as to build capital for advertising and promoting the club so we can bring in strong audiences and bigger and bigger acts. The focus of this club will be on young, original, up-and-coming talent with headliners on the cusp of fame (or in some cases already there).

We met Mr. Odd some time ago while working at Wiley's in Dayton. He is known in Chicagoland for producing standup comedy shows "with a punch." Click this for details on the upcoming grand opening. Click here for Odd's myspace.

It's our lastest film, and it's "Easter Parade," a short (3:43) movie that could be described as "Industrial Light & Magic meets The Dollar Store!"
Click here to look into our shorts. Film shorts, that is.

Thanks!

News to us.

From the Scotsman.com comes this article on a recent poll conducted by a "drinks firm" in the U.K.

And while sarcasm may be denigrated as the lowest form of wit, a new survey claims it is also the nation's favourite.

It suggests stand-up comics jostling for attention at the Edinburgh Fringe might be better to jettison their gags and opt for the withering diatribes of comedians such as Jack Dee.

The results found that "seven in ten people found sarcasm funny, while 63 per cent admitted cracking up at 'silly' jokes. Just over a third confessed to being entertained by slapstick or the stunts on shows such as TV's You've Been Framed."

And although no drinks firms here in the USA do similar surveys (if they do, they don't make the results public), we suspect that the results would be similar.

And in this article, from Canada.com, Bruce Deachman asks:

...Is there, in fact, a distinct essence of Canadian comedy? If a Brit, an American and a Canadian comic walked into a bar, could you tell the difference?

The answer, from Mark Breslin, Howie Mandel, Colin Mochrie and Humber's Andrew Clark is... yes... and no.

No conclusions, but a lot of philosophizing and dissection of Canada's comic psyche, especially as it's influenced by the presence of America. Ask a Canadian about anything-- humor, food, music-- eventually, the conversation comes around to the USA. This is neither a good thing or a bad thing... it's just a thing.

Read both if you're a comedian who is venturing/wants to venture to the U.K. or Canada.

A reader asks:

Hey, is there an RSS feed for sheckymagazine.com? I like reading it, but it would be much easier if I could read the updates through my feedreader along with the rest of my morning must-reads. Thanks.

There is indeed an RSS feed for SHECKYmagazine. "RSS" stands for Real Simple Syndication, or so we're told. It is a means by which we can syndicate or "push" our content to desktops everywhere via feedreaders or similar aggregators. (To put it another way, a reader can sit and wait for our postings to be sent to him. This eliminates the need for the reader to have to come to our website to read our content.)

We set it up some time ago, via FeedBurner and, at the time, we immediately put a little "Add this site to MyYahoo" buglet on the righthand column, then promptly forgot about it.

We have moved that bug up to the upper lefthand column. And it is now accompanied by another bug, a standard feed icon. Click on the top one to add this blog to a number of popular feeders. Click on the MyYahoo button to add us to your MyYahoo!

What does all this mean? It means that those of you who use a feedreader or an aggregator to peruse this and other blogs will be able to have SHECKYmagazine content delivered to your reader at a specified time every day.

What does that mean? We're not sure. But we know it's a good thing.

If anyone has any questions about this FeedBurner technology, ask them in a comment on this post. AND... if anyone has the answer to any inquiries, post them in a comment on this post. If no comments appear, we'll assume you're all technologically savvy!

Thanks!

Read the London Sunday Times for a profile of Judd Apatow, whose movies have grossed nearly a billion bucks.

For Apatow, becoming a stand-up comedian was actually more than a dream. It was, from the time he was eight or nine, a geeky obsession. "Before VCRs, I would tape the television series Saturday Night Live with an audio-cassette recorder and then transcribe it," he recalls. In his teens, he got a job as a dishwasher in a comedy club; then in high school on Long Island, he started a radio show called Club Comedy so he could interview comedians.

He goes into some detail on his standup comedy experience. (Far from burying his standup past, he goes to some lengths to mention it when he does print interviews or panel on the talk shows. We recall Apatow being a regular emcee at the Melrose Improv in 1993.)

Federal workers who want to participate in the Funniest Fed contest that's happening October 4 at the New York Underground Comedy Festival, click here and download the application. Bureaucrats have until September 14 to send in that app. The contest has been opened up to military employees as well.

Stanley Myron Handelman (with Billy Barty) in front of tour bus. (Photo from www.timfowlar.com)

Check out The Stars and the Stories, one of many pages of photos and reminiscences from Tim Fowlar, who served as band leader and eventually conductor of Roy Radin Vaudeville Revue from 1973 to 1979. Fowlar is currently in the music business in Las Vegas.

The site has a paragraph or two on many of the stars that were part of the revue, including Milton Berle, Jack Carter, Jackie Vernon and, pictured above with Billy Barty, Stanley Myron Handelman.

Scroll down for a link to Handelman's obituary.

For the first time in almost forever, The Female Half has written a column. In it, she reflects on that fateful day in August of 1977, thirty years ago today... the day after Elvis Presley died:

We were on vacation that week. My grandparents had decided to take me and my older sister to Atlantic City. In my early years, I had stayed at their house quite often, but this was the first time we had actually vacationed together for any length of time. It was my grandpop's idea. I now realize that he must have known something was wrong.

Since my grandparents didn't have much money, we stayed at an establishment that was part motel/part B&B-- minus one of the B's. It was dark and it smelled like an old person's house. The lobby was always full of French Canadian men who were far too old and too fat to be wearing the late 1970's equivalent of a Speedo.

Read the whole thing.

Adam Murray, writing for TVSquad.com says:

Burnim-Murray Productions and October Moon Television are attempting to sell a new comedy game show for syndication. The series, called Laugh Off, would give unknown comedians a chance to compete in different contests centered around stand-up, improv, charades and mime.

We're troubled by many things.

Firstly, the art accompanying the article is a photo of a braying horse. We suspect that they couldn't find a stock photo of an actual jackass. It was an editorial decision by someone at TVSquad, no doubt, who figured that a boring shot of a comedian holding a microphone in front of a brick wall didn't suit the copy.

Second, what is Burnim-Murray and October Moon's idea of "unknown comedian?" That could be anyone from Jim Gaffigan to the guy at the water cooler who cracks us all up with his dead-on impression of Jim From Taxi! You know how these TV producers look at the world!

Third, why does everyone feel compelled to muck things up with improv, charades and mime? (We suppose that pitches are getting ever more tricky these days. It's gotta be "fresh" and "new," but it also must be derivative and downright larcenous. What you end up with is something that's vaguely familiar, superficially inventive and hardly exciting. Rather like thoroughbred horse breeding-- each new horse must be able to trace his bloodline back to a previous champ-- but the resultant increase in speed over the past century hardly seems worth all that fussing and is far, far less than what you'd expect.)

Charades?!! Invite Buddy and Sally over! We're going to play charades!! How do you feel about Adlai Stevenson? This baked Alaska is scrumptious!! Is this irony? We fear it is not.

The links to the videos in this post no longer work. The page displays a message: "his video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Viacom International Inc." We posted about the YouTube--Viacom lawsuit on Tuesday.

Positively devastating YouTube clip of Jeff Ross skewering Flavor Flav on Comedy Central's recent highly-rated roast. (When did we stop referring to him as "Flava" and start calling him "Flavor?")

Carrot Top's clip is beating out Ross' in terms of plays. The folks who leave comments below the clip seem shocked that he would be so funny and nearly all grudgingly admit that the set was well done. He seems a bit flipped at first, but settles in nicely when he gets to the props, at one point remarking, "I shoulda gone to the props first!" The Top was the second most dumped-on attendee, after the guest of honor, so it took some guts for him to get up there. Some would say it took guts to show up.

From MediaWeek.com:

The Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav soared to a 2.9 household rating with 3.8 million total viewers on Sunday, August 12 at 10 p.m. Comparably, that is the cable net's highest rated telecast of the year and the most-watched roast ever among men 18-34. It was also the highest-rated show of the day on basic cable among adults 18-49 (2.5 rating). And it grew from the year-ago roast of William Shatner by as much as 89 percent among adults 18-34.

SHECKYmagazine columnist Adam Gropman, writing for the cultural commentary website The Simon, files a detailed and entertaining report on his experience with the television show, Next Best Thing:

It was at this point that my audition got really interactive and riffy, with me responding in character to random questions of theirs and Jeffrey Ross coaxing me to do a Sarah Silverman impression. Although the judges had liked my Sandler impression, I suddenly realized that all of this unscripted improvising risked diluting my prepared performance and chances of moving on in the show.

The judges had given me a few obligatory quips and digs -- like when Elon Gold said I sounded like Carol Channing -- but they also gave me positive feedback and an overall thumbs up, saying I passed on to the next level. I jumped off the stage -- probably not a second too soon -- and gave a brief, triumphant post-audition interview to the awaiting Ms. Merkin.

After filling out over a solid half hours' worth of legal documents, I drove off into the night with the mildly intoxicating feeling that I'd sort of, kind of just done something perhaps tenuously related to huge TV stardom.

Read the whole thing. And, while you're there, check out his dissection of radio talk show hosts and the importance of humor in broadcasting.

Doug Benson OUT! Matt Kirshen OUT!

Your final five: Lavell Crawford, Amy Schumer, Ralph Harris, Gerry Dee, Jon Reep.

Amy Schumer won immunity by amusing three of the suitcase girls from Deal or No Deal, a transvestite, a nun and a clown... one on one... in private booths. It sounds a lot more creepy than it actually was... or maybe it doesn't.

They took the seven finalists to a social club, then introduced them to six of the girls from DOND. They told each of the comics that they were going to sit in a booth with each of the girls, one at a time, and tell them jokes. At the end, they'd tally up their scores and the winner would gain immunity.

Except they pulled a switcheroo! That's right-- they substituted three of the girls with an outrageously made up transvestite, a nun from an order in Culver City and a female clown. The Female Half predicted Schumer would have the advantage and she was dead on.

It was crisply edited and was actually entertaining. At one point or another, each comic, except for Schumer, reached the point where they gave up. To humorous effect. They were defeated, but not sullen. Once again, Benson was hilarious-- spinning out (admittedly) wholly inappropriate material to the nun about how great he was in bed. (Saying later: "I've already lost this challenge, so I may as well do the most inappropriate thing I could possibly do... besides whipping it out and slapping it on the table.")

Dee actually had a strategy: Do the same bit for each and every booth. It was a bit that nearly every woman could relate to, so the strategy was sound. It was undermined when he rounded the corner and discovered the transvestite, who was not only physically unattractive, but seemed to be dumb as a post. Nice try.

Harris booted it bad, probably because he was confident that he could handle any head to head competition and therefore didn't need immunity.

One thing this challenge may have revealed about comics is that they know their limitations and that they have a sense of humor about their limitations. This tired notion that comedians are always on, and so starved for the laugh, and that they'll do anything for it, was disproved by this experiment. When we say that some gave up, we mean that in the best sense-- when confronted with an absurd situation, they assessed it, they quickly waved the white flag and they surrendered-- but they did so good-naturedly. Schumer did not give up. In a way, her inexperience helped her win this portion-- not that she was starved for attention or approval, but she seemed determined to avoid the head-to-head at all costs.

When they revealed the winner, Schumer, via a voiceover, told how hurt she was that she got no congratulatory hugs from either Crawford or Harris and she boo-hoo'ed about how she thought they were her friends. As Reality TV moments go, it was a snoozer. We suspect that Harris and Crawford were dumbstruck at the reality of Schumer automatically vaulting to the Final Five. And the failure to be all touchy feely bit Harris in the ass later, as Schumer challenged Harris, thereby practically guaranteeing him a place on the head-to-head show.

That head-to-head, "I think I'm funnier than..." portion took place on the beach near Santa Monic Pier. With a camp fire.

Two comics challenged Harris. Since one of them was Schumer (who had immunity), and the other was Benson, Benson and Harris had to go into the booth together and pick the third comic that would compete on this evening.

They chose Matt Kirshen.

Thus the stage was set for the show at the el Capitan.

What is with the re-jiggering of the rules? Are they making it up as they go along? Last week, a similar situation to this week occurred-- a head-to head contestant was chosen by someone with immunity. Yet, only two people went against each other last week. Why weren't two people eliminated last week? Why weren't Kirshen and DiGiovanni forced to pick a third comic, as Benson and Harris were forced to do this week? Had two been eliminated last week this installment would have been a whole different ballgame.

Are there any spies out there who can shed light on this?

The Bellamy Bill Assessment:

When starting his "set," he asked the audience at the theater, "Do you watch Reality TV?" Uh... ya mean... like... Last Comic Standing? Kinda like getting on the plane and having the pilot ask if anyone knows where the plane is headed!

Also, ended his set by doing a bit in which he calls his three-year-old daughter, "Bitch!" A blow for free speech! Or a great way to make the crowd uncomfortable for... Matt Kirshen!

Kirshen went first, Harris second. Benson came out last, after the commercial break and did a bizarre set, a Benson-esque set. And, allegedly, the voting was the closest in LCS history.

Kirshen was a victim of bad editing-- he seemingly segued from a joke about a photograph of a naked child by saying, "But you gotta find love where you can!" We're sure that wasn't the true order.

Prediction: Harris will win the whole thing on September 19. Just as we've been saying from the beginning.

Mel Silverback sighting: He (or someone in a gorilla suit) was in charge of banging the gong to signal the end of each round of the social club challenge. He appeared on camera twice.

Schumer, via a voiceover, on the beach, said, "There are comics who think that women have no place in comedy. I didn't think Ralph was one of them..." Thereby implying that Ralph was actually one of them. Utterly ridiculous. She should be ashamed of herself dragging sexism into this mess. We speculate that Harris wasn't upset because she made it into the finals because she was a female... but because she made it into the finals with so little experience. The Female Half started out with Harris, and, according to her, "He never seemed to have a problem with me!" (She adds that she's also gotten a lot of hugs from the man.)

Tonight's episode also contained a segment that depicted the seven comics attending a session at the studio of a couple of pretentious, bohemian relaxation therapist gals-- beating a giant cushion with a baseball bat, whupping on a dummy, crawling around on the floor and general new age crap. Funny, considering that the number one way to make comics un-relaxed is to put them in the hands of the utterly humorless and make them do the kinds of things that they like to make fun of when they hit the stage.

The AP obit is running in the San Jose Merc-News. Stanley Myron Handelman died at the age of 77.

We just mentioned his name in our appreciation of Merv Griffin. He was a frequent guest on Griffin's talk show.

Handelman died of a heart attack Aug. 5 in Mission Community Hospital in the San Fernando Valley, his sister Harriette Kaledin said Wednesday.

We had been seeing his name pop up in our stats lately, but we didn't know why. Apparently, word of his death spread before the MSM found out about it.

An item on MTV.com says that scriptwriters will no longer be necessary in the wonderful, new world of movie comedy.

Why not, we say?! They're in the process of eliminating them in television. The sitcom, as you know, is dead. The genre is in decline. Reality TV and game shows are where it's at. And, if we must suffer through a sitcom, it had better be "unscripted."

Unscripted comedies are fresh, funny, inventive, edgy and wildly entertaining. Fat Guy/Hot Wife is in TV's rearview mirror. Put the pedal to the metal-- we're headed for uncomfortable silences, authentic conversation and quirky camera angles! Gimme The Office, but set it in a pet store! Let's re-develop Arrested Development, but this time, make the characters more likeable-- and for God's sake, have them be more... diverse!! How many times will they be burned by Curb Your Enthusiasm meets ER, meets Dawson's Creek before Fat Guy/Hot Wife makes a comeback and once again sweeps the Emmy nominations?

Now, it's comedy movies that are all made up on the spot.

"We made up all our lines," Seth Rogen remembered of Apatow's 2005 flick, "The 40-Year-Old-Virgin." "A lot of the stuff was just us talking to each other and trying to make each other laugh, knowing that we had the freedom to say whatever we wanted. It looks very natural, because we honestly didn't know what we were saying until we were saying it."

What is the cause of this disease? The answer might be in the first paragraph:

The word "improv" not only gets as many projects greenlit these days as "Spielberg," but it also connotes mysterious images of comedians working with no net, screenwriters banned from the set and pop-culture-catchphrases dropping from the sky like tender snow-farts.

Pay special attention to the word "greenlit." Folks are telling the suits that the projects are "largely improvised" or "totally unscripted" because, apparently, the suits are all hot and bothered by the idea and are all too willing to say yes to such projects. (And all too willing to be a part of "a revolution that favors awkward silences instead of traditional "setup, punch line" comedy.")

You weren't aware that there was such a revolution going on? Where have you been for the past half-decade? (That's how long it's been going on, according to Larry Carroll, the author of the piece. An entire half-decade! That's a looooong time!)

We get worked up about this foolishness on occasion. Like here when we groused about the trend on March 1, 2006. (Followed by an especially spirited round of comments.)

A reminder. That's all. No predictions. No spoilers. We've been let down! No one has slipped us information on the upcoming episode, so we'll be just as surprised as everyone else in the Eastern and Central time zones. And we'll be just as shocked as everyone else to see the challenge they cooked up. (We're hoping it's dressing up the comics in a randomly chosen animal suit, like we proposed in a previous post.)

Or how about they fill a club with hearing-impaired people and have someone sign the act. Interesting, and not a bit degrading. (We almost performed for a roomful of H-I people in Reno once. Only the room never did secure the services of a signer... and the in-house promotion failed to snag any takers. It would've been interesting, that's for sure.) There have been one or two challenges that haven't been embarassing-- the roast challenge, the radio challenge, the TV pitch challenge. Perhaps they've come up with something along those lines that didn't lend itself to an exciting teaser at the tail end of last week's episode.

And, as usual, we'll be watching and then posting about ninety minutes later. So, check back here at approximately 11:30 PM Heure Avancée de l'Est. (That's Eastern Daylight Time for you non-French-speaking people.)

That's Brian Malis, standup comic from Atlanta, at an undisclosed location, somewhere along the Appalachian Trail. He writes:

The Appalachian Trail, whose origins date back to the early part of the 20th century, stretches from Springer Mtn. in Georgia to Mt. Katahdin in Maine, yes that's right there is a state called Maine. The trail passes through fourteen states unveiling its 2,167 miles, for some reason the mileage changes every year. The topography varies from above 6,000 feet to just thirty feet above sea level. Completion of the Appalachian Trail, the A.T. for short (why does it have to be short?), takes between four to seven months. In my research, I've read that about 20 per cent of all the thru-hikers-- a person that attempts to hike the trail from one terminus to the other inside of a calendar year-- actually finish what they started. And I will start just after St. Patrick's Day.

Check out Malis' MySpace for more pics and to check his progress. He expects to finish some time next month.

Click here for the schedule of tapings for Comedy Central Presents later this month at the Hudson Theater, 145 West 44th St. in NYC. (Click on the link above and be taken to On Camera Audiences, where you'll be able to register for tickets for the television tapings.)

We'll be there on the 26th to witness the Bonnie McFarlane taping. (We'll be stopping in on our way home from our Aug. 25th gig at Higher Ground in Burlington, VT.) (Click on the link above and be taken to the Higher Ground site, where you'll be able to buy tickets for one of our two Saturday night, Aug. 25 shows.)

Here's the lineup for C.C.P.:

Thu August 23, 2007 6:00 PM
With Billy Gardell and Jo Koy!

Thu August 23, 2007 8:00 PM
With Jay Oakerson and Stephen Lynch!

Fri August 24, 2007 6:00 PM
With Chad Daniels and Robert Kelly!

Fri August 24, 2007 8:00 PM
With Leo Allen and Eugene Mirman!

Sat August 25, 2007 6:00 PM
With Dan Mintz and Jordan Rubin!

Sat August 25, 2007 8:00 PM
With Brian Posehn and Nick Thune!

Sun August 26, 2007 6:00 PM
With Lavell Crawford and Hard 'N Phirm!

Sun August 26, 2007 8:00 PM
With Dan Cummins and Bonnie McFarlane!

Mon August 27, 2007 6:00 PM
With Joe Matarese and Rich Vos!

Mon August 27, 2007 8:00 PM
With Sebastian Maniscalco and Juston McKinney

Tue August 28, 2007 6:00 PM
With Kirk Fox, Zack Galifinakis, Mike Birbiglia, Bonnie McFarlane, and
Michael Showalter!

Tue August 28, 2007 8:00 PM
With Shaun Majumder and Nick Griffin!

YouTube will depose Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert as part of their defense against a bundle of lawsuits.

The lawsuits claim, in essence, that YouTube profits from massive copyright infringement of television programs and feature films. The documents seeking the depositions of Stewart and Colbert pertained only to the Viacom lawsuit.

YouTube says it needs depositions from more than 30 people to fight legal challenges that "threaten to silence communications by hundreds of millions of people across the globe who exchange information, news and entertainment" through its Web site.

The other plaintiffs are a British Soccer League and a music publisher.

There will be no rollicking courtroom appearance by the two, just a quiet powwow around a tape recorder of some sort, at a conference table in an office building somewhere, attended by a battery of attorneys for YouTube and an attorney or two for the deposed.

The outcome could have some long-term ramifications. It's a watershed case in the short history of the WWW. Read the recap here.

Left to right: Male Half of the Staff with World Champion Judah Friedlander (Photo credit: Female Half of the Staff)

We're wrapping up our weekend at the Punchline in Atlanta tomorrow (Sunday) night. Watch for Judah on Thursdays on NBC, in 30 Rock.

According to all reports, Merv Griffin is losing his battle with cancer. Rather than wait until he actually passes, we'd just like to say that, as kids, we watched his afternoon program with regularity and with great interest-- and we especially got a tremendous education in standup.

Hop onto TV.com to check out the episode guide for Griffin's long-running talk show.

We recall seeing such comics as Milt Kamen, Jack E. Leonard, Moms Mabley, Woody Allen, Betty Walker, Shelley Berman, Jonathan Winters, Ronnie Schell, Don Adams, Victor Borge, Pat Harrington, Jack Benny, George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Ron Levitt, Phyllis Diller, Marty Allen, Pat McCormick, Minnie Pearl, Phil Ford & Mimi Hines, Jack Carter, Stanley Myron Handelman, Red Buttons, Dick Gregory, Rip Taylor, Totie Fields, Georgie Jessel, Pat Cooper, Marty Brill, Charlie Callas, Selma Diamond, Rodney Dangerfield... Do you get the picture?

If you think that the impressive list above is possible only because of the show's longevity, take a look at Episode Number 789, which aired on February 1, 1968:

Merv's guests are Rodney Dangerfield, Renee Taylor, Jack E. Leonard and Henny Youngman.

All on one show! We just want to let Merv know that we went to school-- comedy school-- while watching his show.

From a MySpace bulletin:

After a 20 year career on Wall St. from a messenger
to a member of The New York Stock Exchange, to creating The New York Underground Comedy Festival in 2003, and serving as executive producer over the past 5 years, George Sarris is stepping down and retiring from the entertainment business.

Jim Mendrinos will take over as the head of the NY Underground Festival.

We emailed Sarris, asking if everything was okay, and here's part of his response:

Everything is totally fine. I just kind of had to make a decision if I ever wanted to actually live or just keep working...lol!

I was on Wall St. for 20 years before this, then jumped right back in the frying pan-- this time, comedy.

I've basically been working since high school. My family and friends have been trying the past few years to get me to slow down and finally relax and stop and smell the roses. I, of course, chose work, and just kept going.

Then, this year I finally stopped and looked in the mirror, and realized I better choose life over work. I can't work half way, so I'm gonna have to step away.

He will be missed. For someone who came to the standup comedy only recently, he had tremendous enthusiasm and appreciate for the art and the business.

Hey, is that Larry? (Inside message to George that only he will understand!)

Don't read this Hollywood Reporter article if you're eating. It's by Andrew Wallenstein and it's all about HBOlab, described as...:

...an unlikely off-the-radar experiment under way for nearly a year now at Time Warner's prize programmer. With an 11-member unit willing to try just about anything online, the TV industry's prime mover is finding its footing in the amorphous world of digital media. And if you mistake any of them for the rabble on YouTube, you're excused-- that's where some of the HBOlab staffers were recruited.

The article is packed with one ridiculous quote after another from Michael Lombardo, president of programming and West Coast operations at HBO and HBOlab manager Danila Koverman. Ridiculous, if they weren't so creepy and manipulative.

HBO has succumbed to the panic that is spreading over the entire television industry with regard to the internet. Fearful of being eclipsed by the new medium, and desperate to insinuate themselves into the relationship between artist and consumer, they are now setting about trying to figure out ways to duplicate that which has caught the fancy of the web-surfing public and/or utilize the talent and methods of the user-generated community to their advantage. HBOlab is just one grotesque example of this pandering.

"There is a whole different group of artists who work in the digital space," (Lombardo) said. "They're not performers in clubs, they're not pitching scripts and they're not channeled into the mainstream with agents."

And...

HBO is not saying how much it is investing in HBOlab, but sources say it's a pittance, likely less than the expense of one episode of its hourlong dramas like Big Love.

And...

"People who are creative in digital space also have ideas that can work on the traditional television landscape, and that's exciting," Lombardo said. "What the right way of cross-pollinating is, we're not clear, but there's going to be intersection of some kind."

Now, hearken back to our July 23 posting, ("Whistling Past the Cyber Graveyard"). We had just spent four days in Montreal and we sensed that television was all confused about how they felt about the internet-- they feared it, they praised it, they wanted desperately to make it do their bidding, they sometimes seemed to wish it would all go away. And they sometimes wanted to make everyone think they had it all figured out. We said:

They seem to be focused mainly on re-making the new medium to conform to the old model, with superficial, cynical attention paid to the new conventions. And they seem to think that there are terrible flaws in the new model that only they can remedy.

And we also said:

Rather than play to their strengths, the TV people seem intent on bending the new technology to their will and on transposing the old ways onto the new media. You'll have, for example, hybrid tv/web execs "creating" organic videos.

There are two things that are particularly irksome about the executives in articles like this one: 1) They seem rather proud of the fact that they're not spending any serious money on these projects and 2) they seem intent on concocting laughable cover stories about how the projects came about and how they were executed.

One of the HBO execs, "went online and surfed around to find people whose work exhibited potential." And Koverman says, "We're trying to 'run away' from the traditional Home Box Office brand." And check out the fantasy that they've manufactured concerning the "Seven Minute Sopranos" video! It's at the end of the article! It's worth reading the entire piece just to get to that part.

They seem to be going about all this the wrong way. And what is with all this fiction? Are they afraid that their target demo will find out just how establishment their "viral" videos are? Do they think that "artistic purity" will be sacrificed if we find out that the folks who created "Seven Minute Sopranos" cooked up the whole idea while sitting around a bowl of fruit with major HBO executives on the 30th floor of Time-Warner Center?

They tip their hand once in a while. One of the lines is particularly telling, "Scrawled side by side on one white board are ping-pong win tallies opposite Web site traffic statistics." Try as they might to present the image of rebellious, Silicon-Valley, bohemians, apparently it still comes down to ratings, or in this case, "Web site traffic statistics."

We're of the opinion that the folks who create real, honest, heartfelt videos for consumption on the WWW should continue to do so and continue to view it as yet another creative outlet. Ignore the television execs. Ignore the hit counts. Continue to appreciate the tremendous opportunity the WWW offers to produce and distribute your art without the help (or the hindrance) of the gatekeepers that are the major MSM conglomerates. Don't panic. Because of the technology, the internet is, quite literally, boundless. Try as they might, the studios and the networks can't crowd out the little guy. And take what the execs say about "user-gen" content with a grain of salt. They seem to be simultaneously in love with it, but they also seem to want to diminish the public's opinion of it.

And, as long as we pay careful attention to the ongoing Net Neutrality debate, there will continue to be a wild, open space, free of restrictions and free from the dominance of major studios, networks and others.

You've been buzzed.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Comedy Central is launching "a pro-social campaign encouraging viewers to be more environmentally savvy," which will "make viewers aware of their environmental impact and give them ideas on how to reduce it, specifically regarding proper disposal of such items as alkaline batteries, motor oil and e-ware like old cell phones."

Our favorite part is the last paragraph, where we learn that "...the network will put theory into practice with its first carbon neutral production, the Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav."

On the occasion of the naming of Drew Carey as host of The Price is Right and the debut of the Carey-hosted Power of 10 (to sparkling Nielsen numbers), Time asked him 10 Questions, one of which was whether Carey would still perform live as a standup comic.

Absolutely. Especially now that I am on TV, and I can charge more money. [Laughs.] Hopefully during breaks and in the summer, I can do a couple of tours. After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine.

Emphasis ours.

A NYT blog post by Stephen J. Dubner, one of the co-authors of "Freakonomics" tells of his encounter with a standup comic Greg Schwem.

We won't spoil the surprise, but we will tell you that it's a great story that reflects well on both participants, and it's called "The Most Embarrassing Thing I’ve Done This Millennium."

Pay attention to some of the reactions to the story in the readers' comments below the posting. Many of them are merely complaining about the new method used by the Times for posting blogs and some navigation difficulties that readers are having. Some of them, however, are indicative of a deep-seated hostility toward comics and/or a general meanness among some Times readers.

We're also pleased to alert our readers (in case they hadn't read it somewhere else) that the NYT is going to free up its online content and stop charging. Their premium model apparently didn't work. Many NYT writers were concerned that the pay system was drastically cutting down their circulation!

Once again, our spies were correct.

Matt Kirshen did indeed beat Debra Di Giovanni in the head-to-head competition.

First, the recap of last week's show.

Even though the contestants get to watch the head-to-head competition on a large-screen TV backstage, the feed is cut when the winner is announced. The Reality TV reasoning behind this maneuver it to show the surprise, or, in some cases shock, when the victor eventually pokes through the curtain. Of course, comics aren't as emotional as car-winning Oprah audience members so the moment was-- and always will be-- anti-climatic.

(Such was the case when, in the recap, Ralph Harris appeared after his victory, Harris was thrilled... in a comic kind of way. He gave the greatest insight into the mind of a comedian when he said, "Let's eat." If the producers really want to make the comics happy, a buffet would be set up backstage. Or at least the winner would get a $1,000 Capital One No Hassle Card and a ready-to-eat smoked turkey.)

Now, this week's competition.

The Last Jester Standing... where do we begin? Dress up like a court jester and do 90 seconds of medieval jokes while performing in the round. Isn't this the stuff of a recurring nightmare? Two comics battle it out in the dirt arena; the crowd displays their favorite using colored flags; the loser is led off by Death. The winners compete in yet another medieval round. Eventually the winner gets immunity. Jon Reep was the immune one. And do it all with material written with Medieval-type material. By round two, the comics were merely substituting "thee" for "you" and merely re-writing tested material to barely suit the ground rules!

Not that we doubted our sources for a nanosecond, but we did almost shit our silky Jester pants when Deb beat Matt by three flags earlier in the show. (Yes, we watched the show wearing matching Renaissance garb. Didn't everybody?)

According to Bellamy Bill, the 55 to 45 per cent audience vote for Kirshen was the "closest in Last Comic Standing history." Apparently, flags don't count.

Deb cried. Matt smiled. Matt but might have also been crying-- it's hard to tell since he's always smiling.

Benson said it best, "Out of nowwhere, somebody could say, 'Put on a dumb costume and look like an idiot." And yes, Doug, you did look like a Court Jester Tranny.

We want to adopt Doug Benson. (Only because we can't think of another way of having him around our house all the time without it looking weird.)

Harris did poorly. He goofed up during his set and lost his place. Gerry Dee, however, did so badly, he got booed by all 1,100 in attendance! Dee must have been surprised that he went up on front of a medieval dinner theater and got scorched like he was at an Opie & Anthony show! He should have gone "Bill Burr" on their medieval asses! The subsequent pirated YouTube vid would be up to 70,000 hits by now.

Prior to the challenge, the lucky LCS'ers were treated to a bountiful Medieval Feast-- oversized bread, turkey legs the size of Barry Bond's post-steroid arms, grapes the size of Barry Bond's post steroid testicles-- and since it was all Medieval and stuff, the food was consumed without the aid of modern day utensils.

Comics stay at comedy condos. We're accustomed to eating food without the aid of modern day utensils. Hell, we could have cooked that entire meal with just a broken spatula and a melted spoon.

The challenge portion saw two comics-- Reep and Kirshen-- saying they were funnier than DiGiovanni. Since Reep had the immunity, the evening's match was set. BTW: The voting portion of the challenge portion was staged in the Torture Museum of the Medieval Times Dinner Theatre. As if the preceding competition wasn't tortuous enough. Benson's drollery was once again a highlight of the show-- "This costume was the worst thing that ever happened to me... and I sat through the movie, 'Wild Hogs'!" and, on the subject of the prospect of being tapped for the challenge, "I won't mind, because I can do my act in normal clothes!"

Pet Peeve: Bellamy Bill flunks Emcee 101-- When DiGiovanni came out onstage in the challenge portion, Bellamy handed her the mike, instead of replacing it in the mike stand!

Why was there no teaser for next week's episode? The show ended, then went straight into Dateline NBC, with the guy who lures hapless pedophiles into on-camera stings! Perhaps next episode's challenge is to write five minutes of material designed to lure a 14-girl into a bus stop in Burbank. The winner will gain a no-hassle pass in the next round! Talk about a test of a comic's writing skills!

She is described in the obituary in the Post-Intelligencer as "the den mother for Seattle's comics."

"She was the first real comedy producer/promoter in Seattle," said Ronald S. "Ron Reid" Brown, her husband and regional manager of Comedy Underground. "She created all this opportunity for people not only to practice their comedy, but to get paid for it."

In lieu of flowers, Crocker's family asks that donations be made to Equine Rescue Association, 2415 116th St. N.E., Marysville, WA 98271.

A memorial is planned Sept. 9 at the family's home in north Seattle.

This NYT article explains exactly what it is the folks at TheDailyReel.com hope to do:

This month, The Daily Reel, a Web site devoted to online filmmakers and Internet video, introduced a social networking section called ReeledIn. Membership is free and open, although the site's creators intend to reach a more specific audience than the masses on powerhouse sites like MySpace and YouTube.

Daily Reel chief Jeff Stern gets to the heart of the distinction between his site and other, seemingly similar sites: "Most online video sites are targeted to watchers. Our audience is the activists, the doers."

The site's main goal is to help users meet other content creators who are at least semi-serious about their videos-— and to help improve, and legitimize, their work.

The Female Half reports that in her capacity as an UsWeekly Fashion Police, "it's always an extra thrill when she gets to make fun of the people who make fun of other people for a living."

Like the time she got to "go negative" on the questionable fashion choices of Kathy Griffin. Or, as in the current issue of Us on the stands this week, she gets to bust on Perez Hilton! (How can you miss the photo at left?)

Fun, because you assume that they certainly must have a sense of humor about themselves. At least it is hoped. (A recent attempt to get Griffin to autograph our copy of Griffin's appearance in FashPo-- with The Female Half's comments!-- was rebuffed. Griffin's people returned the mag, unsigned, to the desk at the Borgata!)

Hilton's blog recently told of the allegedly drunken blogging of Roseanne Barr (Samples included, you may hafta scroll down a page or two!) Barr later issued a statement saying that "an intern" was responsible for the rambling posts. Nice! From now on, if we post anything here that we later regret, we'll blame it on the intern... who has been dismissed!

Go here to see just a small portion of the week's Fashion Police, with archives!

We can at least agree that Councilwoman Darlene Mealy of Brooklyn is finding it difficult to fill her days. How else to explain her recent effort to introduce a measure against the use of the word "bitch."

As reported in the NYT, Mealy says it creates "a paradigm of shame and indignity" for all women.

The measure, which 19 of the 51 council members have signed onto, was prompted in part by the frequent use of the word in hip-hop music. Ten rappers were cited in the legislation, along with an excerpt from an 1811 dictionary that defined the word as &qujot;A she dog, or doggess; the most offensive appellation that can be given to an English woman."

Leaving aside the fact that our new favorite word around SHECKYmag HQ is "doggess," we are stunned by this latest piece of legislation.

...Mealy acknowledged that the measure was unenforceable, but she argued that it would carry symbolic power against the pejorative uses of the word. Even so, a number of New Yorkers said they were taken aback by the idea of prohibiting a term that they not only use, but do so with relish and affection.

Even if you acknowledge that your action was largely symbolic, why would you do it, knowing how utterly unconstitutional, unenforceable, undemocratic, un-American it is? Are there not better ways of symbolically registering your disgust with the popular use of a word that some find offensive?

Back at the West Village piano bar on Sunday evening, Poppi Kramer had just finished up her cabaret set. She scoffed at the proposal. "I’m a stand-up comic. You may as well just say to me, don’t even use the word 'the.'"

This article in the Scotsman is about a group of Dutch comics performing at the Fringe, some of whom were associates of Theo Van Gogh, the movie director who was nearly decapitated by a Dutch Moroccan Muslim.

Van Gogh's murder stunned the Netherlands and its comedy fraternity. He was a regular at Club Toomler in Amsterdam, which has fostered many of the biggest names in Dutch comedy, and a close friend of Hans Teeuwen, the leading comedian, director and actor, now in Edinburgh for the Fringe. The day before Van Gogh's funeral, the comedy club held a remembrance ceremony.

Hans Teeuwen, Raoul Heertje, Marc Marie Huijbregts and Theo Maassen are among those performing in showcases produced by Brian Hennigan.

The Amsterdam Comedy Collective is running three or four of its team per night at the Fringe. Stand-up is relatively new in Holland, and the performers now in Edinburgh were instrumental in its birth. "The main goal is getting to see how well they do in English," says Xander Wassenaar, of ComedyTrain, the Dutch stand-up collective based at Toomler. "Their role models are basically English or American comedians and it's fun to see if your own comedy stands up to that. People like Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, Billy Connolly, Andy Kaufman."

The piece is also a short history of standup in the Netherlands. Many Dutch speak English and a good number of American comics have been well-received there. (We recognize Heertje's name-- he was an early reader of SHECKYmagazine.com and we seem to recall corresponding with him in 1999!)

From the MySpace blog of Seattle's Mainstage Comedy Club, in a posting entitled "Press Kits in our Digital Age":

Just a quick update on press kits:

Mainstage will only book comics who submit their press kits digitally - starting August 15th.

If we do not have a digital press kit on file, we will not consider booking you.

A digital press kit consists of a headshot (with sufficient dpi for our posters, newsletter, and any print we decide to do), a bio which includes well-written information about your act, your credits, your website/myspace info, a link to footage of you, and up-to-date contact information which includes your email and cellphone number.

If your press kit is your myspace page, please cobble the aforementioned info into a document for emailing. Please check for spelling and gramatical errors. All digital press kits should be sent to:

dorothy (at) mainstagecomedy.com - Dorothy is NOT handling the booking, so please refrain from contacting her about it.

We are making this change in an effort to streamline our marketing. If you have already submitted your press kit by mail, please re-submit it digitally.

Please restrict your phone and email inquiries about getting booked. More than two inquiries will be frowned upon.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Note: The word "grammatical" is spelled wrong! (It wasn't our error!)

But seriously, folks-- The comedy business has been drifting toward this for some time now. We've been prepared! (In fact, when the call went out last week, via a MySpace bulletin, we were the first ones to respond!) We've been sending out our acts on some sort of disc for a while (.mpg on a CD starting in '03, DVD for the past 18 months or so). And we've been offering our promo materials (headshots, bio, resume, other clips) via a web page for so long that, initially, hardly anyone was technically savvy enough to take advantage! But folks are catching up. And with YouTube and other technical advances (and the price drop for so many fancy gadgets like DVD burners and printers that print directly on to the back of a disc), it's easier and cheaper to make a high-quality, eye-catching product for promotion or sale.

If anyone would like to check out our Electronic Press Kit (Ooooh!), click here. If you're a club owner, we'll be happy to furnish a hard copy on request, complete with sizzling demo DVD and color headshots.

Also: Check out The Male Half's Electronic Corporate Press Kit.

It's a video blog. A "vlog."

The folks at WhipItOutComedy.com post about comedy, but do so using video clips. (They recently posted about our new short, "Starting Over," under the ridiculous title, "Shecky gets sexy!") They also promote their site with the occasional live show, like the one they have scheduled at the Hollywood Improv on August 30. (You can also befriend them, via MySpace.com)

One disturbing video that has recently been linked to is by a group called Black 20. This one, called "The Middle Show," which starts with an unnamed guy in a tie, who says, "Have you ever gone to a comedy club, paid your two-drink minimum, and then seen a terrible comic? You feel helpless. You can't do anything. Well, now it's time for payback."

What follows is a series of comedians, shot in a graffiti-besmirched alleyway, who are subjected to a gang of nitwits who pelt the comedians with tomatoes after each tells a lame joke.

We're not quite sure of the message. The jokes are, to be sure, lame and not well-written or well-delivered. But the abusers who throw the vegetables are also depicted dressing down the hapless comedians and saying things like, "Dude, you told a disgusting, filthy offensive joke!" Or, "You told a joke about cancer... My mother had cancer!"

So, while the object of their wrath seems to be "bad comedians," they also seem to be championing the cause of clueless audience members who offend too easily. Or are they mocking the audience members and bad comics at the same time? Is that even possible? Aren't we supposed to be opposed to that kind of audience member? Aren't we supposed to be defending comics against the kind of lunkhead who might be tempted to toss something-- anything-- at a comedian, no matter how "bad" he or she is? To say that a mixed message is being sent would be an understatement.

Or are we not getting the joke? Is that our shortcoming? Or is the video so poorly executed that a reasonable person can't tell?

Gina Yashere has found an effective way to make things right. After her elimination from Last Comic Standing, she has posted on the experience on her MySpace blog. She takes part of the blame for her ouster-- she admits to poor reality TV strategy when it came to the elimination challenge. But she also laments the ham-handed editing of her set by the show's producers.

Well I can assure you, there were many great jokes in my set, which somehow didn't make it to the TV show...

I did a great show on the night, and got several applause breaks, and even after getting booted, I look back and don't for one second, regret my choice of material, coz I know I smashed it!

It's just that Ralph smashed it too.

Just to prove my point, below is a clip of me performing the EXACT same joke, at a comedy club in California.

And the YouTube clip follows! Failing on network television need not be the totally humiliating experience it once was! Cybervindication has never been easier!

Read the rest of her blog posting here.

And speaking of setting the record straight, two video clips related to the Doug Benson/Dante Heckler Challenge throw down are linked from a posting on ASpecialThing.

EDITORS NOTE: In an earlier version of this post, we erroneously reported that Benson himself posted the links on AST. The posting that links to the YouTube clips from LCS was authored by JKwac, a regular contributor to the AST message board. We should have known it wasn't posted by Benson, as all LCS contestants are contractually prohibited from commenting on the show while they're still contestants. The clips in question were uploaded to YouTube by someone who runs CheeseSays.com, a blog about Reality Television. We apologize for any confusion.

The clips do two things: They fill in all the folks on the east coast who missed his thrashing of Dante during the Heckler Challenge (due to the interruption of Keith Olbermann) and they address the scurrilous accusation that his treatment of Dante was less than honorable. See clip one, Benson handling Dante. And, if you need context, watch Dante being heckled by Benson.

Is there too much standup at the Edinburgh Fringe? An article in the UK Guardian ponders the question. Once upon a time, it was all about uncovering and discovering obscure, experimental and daring theater, but...

...its integrity has disappeared as commercialism reigns, personified by big-name performers familiar from TV, such as Jimmy Carr, Ricky Gervais and Frank Skinner. That, at least, is the complaint from those who believe that household name comedy is drowning out more pioneering art.

The very fact that anyone would even raise the question is ridiculous. For the past three years, the number of standup shows offered among the Fringe's 2,000 presentations has increased from 435 to 566 to this year's 630. And, from all reports, it's not a zero-sum game-- as the number of comedy shows has exploded, so has the Fringe in general.

And steps have been taken to ensure that "integrity" remains.

For instance, new Fringe director Jon Morgan, has high praise for the biennial British Council theatre showcase. It was concocted ten years ago to promote some of the projects that people see as threatened by the proliferation of such vulgarity as standup comedy. "The British Council logo next to an entry in a festival brochure is seen as a mark of quality," says Guardian arts correspondent Charlotte Higgins.

She follows this up with:

This year the showcase includes Low Life, a puppet show about "the lives of action-hero plumbers"; SuperJumbo, in which performer Richard DeDomenici recreates an Airbus 380 inside a flat; and Etiquette, in which the audience of just two become the performers, as they sit together in a cafe responding to instructions given to them via headphones.

Do you suppose that anyone would know or care about the Fringe if there were no standup? Do you suppose that the Fringe would have grown exponentially if it only offered a steady diet of action-hero plumber puppets and ponderous installations such as SuperJumbo? We're confident that it would not.

It is worth making the distinction between the Edinburgh International Festival and the Fringe. The Fringe is more grass-rootsy than the Edinburgh International. The International started 70 years ago, the Fringe some time after that. The Fringe is, for the most part, a less elitist, more ragtag collection of artists who are financing their projects and hoping to eventualy be incoporated into the larger, older, more respected International. The Fringe, from all accounts, is wildly successful, well-attended and known far and wide as a place to garner attention. The International is a bloated, highbrow charity case that's several million pounds in debt.

The last thing they should do is complain about standup comedy, as it seems that's what people want.

In November of 2003, we re-ran a piece that originally ran in the Scotsman, by comedian Brian Hennigan. (We rarely re-run anything, but, in this case, we made an exception.) In it, he eloquently makes the case that standup has for too long been discounted, and that the Edinburgh establishment ignores or marginalized standup at its own peril.

As someone who spends a lot of time in comedic contemplation, one can only see so many plays, watch so much contemporary dance, and read so much cutting-edge fiction without feeling that standup comedy receives scant regard as an art form. There is no good reason for this. Comedy, once frowned on, is a long accepted artistic genre. In terms of recognising that standup comedy has come of age, it is about time the Edinburgh International Festival gave thought to its inclusion within the range of artistic disciplines that it celebrates.

Read the entire column here.

NBC announced the renewal of Last Comic Standing for a sixth season. The live, two-hour finale for this season will air September 19. Bellamy Bill will be back next season.

We came across an essay on a site called 2 Blowhards, "a group of graying eternal amateurs discuss their passions, interests and obsessions." In it, "Michael Blowhard" (his name, not ours) kicks around the concept of "audience sense."

What is it? An audience sense isn't quite the same thing as moviemaking (or acting, or technical) talent. Instead, it's an ability to sense how people are reacting to you and to what you're doing. Instinct and imagination seem to be involved. So does empathy: How else can someone so involved in attracting and commanding attention spare a few watts for how the show is being experienced by others?

Are the people with the most acute audience sense-- with the greatest ability to inhabit the moment from the inside while also observing it objectively and opportunistically from the outside -- standup comedians? When a standup act is really rockin', after all, the comedian can seem to be igniting firecrackers that are lying in wait in pockets of your brain and spirit.

The occasion for pondering the notion of audience sense is a recent viewing of Paul Schrader's "Auto Focus." Blowhard seems ambivalent about audience sense. On one hand, a director must have it and some of the greatest undeniably posses it. On the other hand, it's "a cheap, low thing," and the artist who calls upon it might just be utterly lacking in "art-purity."

Which, of course, got us to talking about it with regard to standup. This discussion goes on all the time-- in the pages of this publication and elsewhere-- what differs is the vocabulary, the buzzwords. We're inclined to believe that all comedians have (indeed, must have) this sense. We further believe that having it in spades doesn't automatically mean that the artist is pandering or that, conversely, the artist that has no audience sense is somehow closer to the aforementioned "art-purity." Conversely, it is rather ridiculous that a comic-- any comic-- would have no audience sense and that any comic who purports to have none is, in actuality, pandering-- to the media, to critics, to his/her narrow sliver of audience. (But, to quote Dom Irrera, "We don't mean that in a bad way.")

We're puzzled by the inexplicably popular notion that those who nakedly seek to elicit laughter are not true comedy artists. When did laughter acquire dirty-word status when it comes to standup? Can't we all agree that we are the only group of artists that have a singular goal-- in our case, to get laughs? And that, if your intent is not, ultimately, to make people laugh, you really can't call yourself a comic? (Keep in mind the distinction between result and intent.)

How did we arrive at a place where, if you openly state that your goal is to make people laugh, you are somehow less of an artist? How did it come about that the comic who implies (or even, in some cases, explicitly states) that his ultimate goal is not to invoke laughter is regarded as the true artist? Welcome to the upside down world of standup comedy.

There are comedians who regularly claim that performers who are streamlined and rather forthright in their approach to standup are not "acting in strict accordance with expressive need, intellectual brilliance, or aesthetic theory" and are therefore automatically pandering. And that an oblique approach to the art is somehow more virtuous.

The plain fact is that there is (and should be) plenty of disagreement as to how to approach standup comedy. But there should be no disagreement as to the ultimate goal-- to get laughs. Whenever we point this out, we get attacked by certain sectors who seem to think we're motivated by jealousy or who attack personally, ascribing our actions and beliefs to the fact that we're "failed middles" or megalomaniacal internet publishers, hellbent on laying down the comedy law.

We've heard every type of criticism. We express disgust with this statement or that project, we get an email that tells us we're "too liberal." We go off on a rant about this agency or that institution, we're branded by some as having veered to the conservative side. The truth lies somewhere in between. We found a definition somewhere that said that libertarianism holds that "all persons are the absolute owners of their own lives, and should be free to do whatever they wish with their persons or property, provided they allow others the same liberty." If you absolutely must label us, it would appear that we're comedy libertarians.

From an anonymous source, we hear that, on this Wednesday's episode, Matt Kirshen goes head-to-head against Debra DiGiovanni and Kirshen wins.

We don't know if this is what actually will happen, but we have only been wrong once... and that was last season. And we were only wrong about the identity of one comic in the initial round. So far, our record this season is impeccable.

We'll be watching and, about ninety minutes later, we'll upload our analysis!

We think. There's a ticker on the site and there's also something that says it ends Saturday at 12 PM EST. Odd, since we're on daylight these days. Hmmm...

Anyway, the above link takes you directly to the comedy contest page on Famecast. We're not 100 per cent sure what Famecast is, but it's some sort of sprawling, TV-internet hybrid that hosts video and pays strict attention to entertainment.

Brandon Walsh, Tom Franck, Tony Valle, Lamont Ferguson and Steve Hofstetter are the final five, having been whittled down from (we think) 50 comics. They started taking video April 23! That's 103 days from submission to the end of voting, if our math is correct! It's a marathon!

They're already talking about Season 3, and accepting submissions. We suppose this season will end sometime in early November, but we could be mistaken.

Be forewarned, there's talk on the net that it's a bitch to register to vote. But if you view the vids and you want to help out one of the comics, you'll grit your teeth and do it.

We take a dim view of online video contests (not just because we were eliminated in a matter of nanoseconds on NextBigStar.com a few years back!), because the quality is usually pretty poor and the contest is often just as much about browbeating friends into voting as it is about standup. In this case, however, the quality of the finals video is pretty slick and the number of votes seems rather large. (Watch the intro by hostess Emmy Robbin-- she punctuates every other sentence with a little Jerry Espenson-style hop which alternates between endearing, annoying and fascinating.)

Our spies were correct. When we posted about this episode on July 24, we correctly predicted the outcome of tonight's showdown. Dante, Gina Yahere and Ralph Harris in a three-way showdown, with Harris coming out on top. He got 62 per cent of the audience vote.

No one has slipped us any information about the upcoming competitions/episodes, so we figure they must be tightening up security. Maybe they've sequestered entire audiences. Lord knows they're not spending the production budget on sets or a house or anything else that might make the show interesing.

We've been telling folks privately that Ralph is not to be underestimated. We've been familiar with Ralph for as long has he's been doing standup. He could end up in the top three and possibly win the whole thing. With tonight's set, he's made sure that no one will dare challenge him again. (Unless they make the mistake of thinking that tonight's set is all he's got. Trust us. It ain't. And it's probably all TV clean.)

And we were half right when we predicted that the producers would bring back Mel Silverback "in spirit."

Perhaps they'll dredge him back up in spirit by concocting a challenge for future episodes-- Bellamy Bill will tell the contestants (in a raised voice) "each of you will be forced to do five minutes in the animal costume of his or her choice!"

Well, don't you know ol' Mel appeared on this episode driving that awful short yellow bus! That's right! Mel Silverback was, ostensibly, the man/beast who drove the contestants to the Heckler Challenge at the Ice House in Pasadena (Yeah, right. Mel entered, the contestants shouted their surprise and their hello's and then he was gone. Our favorite part was that they superimposed "Mel Silverback, 14 years doing comedy" over his chest, then they showed him driving a bus! Chilling!)

And how about that Heckler Challenge?

Firstly, let's give Doug Benson his props-- "My dream has been to get on a short bus with nine other comics, one of whom can't fit through the door." He's hysterical. He's got the exact right attitude for this thing: No talk of dying relatives, no saving for a kidney transplant, no "mouths to feed" speeches. Just wise guy all the way, with a touch of the absurd and a slight smirk. We wouldn't want to be on the show without Doug Benson. Perhaps, if this show limps into another season, they should consider making him the host! Let Doug Benson host and let him write his own copy! That's a good idea. So... naturally, it's not going to happen. Because this show is all about bad ideas... like the Heckler Challenge!

You know how we feel about the Heckler Challenge. We feel that way even moreso now that we've seen it a second time. It's wrong on so many levels. And not at all entertaining. And, of course, it encourages heckling. It's a lose/lose/lose.

Dealing with hecklers might be a part of our business, unfortunately. So, it might be understandable why a producer might concoct some sort of contrivance that incorporates heckling into the show. But do they have to make the contestants heckle the other contestants? It's unseemly! It might be okay to test the comics' ability to handle one, but why test the comics' ability to heckle? That's just sick!

Exactly what is Gerry Dee's problem? Heckling Dee was Jon Reep. Reep did what was expected and Dee handled the first heckle or two, then went personal! He mimicked Reep-- he did a bit or two from Reep's set earlier in the evening, but in a grotesque, exaggerated manner! He mocked Reep in a way that was unnecessarily focused on Reep, not on Reep playing a heckler.

Lavell Crawford won the Heckler Challenge, thereby making him exempt from challenges in the next phase.

We think we're funnier than...

...the producers of Last Comic Standing.

Did that Challenge thingie at the end, in the Los Angeles Coliseum look like kee-rap or what? Ten comics, sitting on condo furniture on the 50-yard line of the football field. And they all had to lumber over to a photo booth about 20 yards away to issue their challenge while ominous music played. Scintillating!

And what is with all the hostility toward Dante? It is a mystery to the viewers. We're shown three of the ten comics saying, "I think I'm funnier than Dante." And we picked up on some mild mocking of Dante in the banter during some of the brief backstage scenes. And we're treated to Doug Benson saying, "Who do I want to see lose? I cahn-tay tell you!" (The joke is that Benson pronounced "can't" to rhyme with Dante.) But, since they've taken away The House and they've stripped away nearly all the Reality TV aspects of the show, we really aren't privy to why anyone feels the way they do about their fellow contestants. It's a formula for frustration. It doesn't make for very riveting reality television.

The Female Half sustained a minor laceration to her lower left calf as she leapt from the lounge chair when they showed the teaser for next week's challenge! That's just how bad it looks to be-- "Tune in next week when the contestants...DRESS UP LIKE IDIOTS!" Their exact words. They're making the comics dress up like court jesters and go out and perform in the middle of the dirt ring at the center of a medieval dinner theater. That's right. We'll repeat it.

They're making the comics dress up like court jesters and go out and perform the middle of the dirt ring at the center of a medieval dinner theater.

It has never been clearer that the producers of this show lack imagination, a sense of humor and any appreciation for standup comedy as an art form and standup comics as performers.

We jokingly suggested last week that they might make the comics dress up like animals and do material as that creature. Sadly, we fear that we weren't that far off.

If we get through this season without the comics being forced to perform at a nudist camp, we'll be surprised. Or perhaps they'll be marched, blindfolded, into a biker bar to perform on Cream Pie Night. Can a set at San Quentin be in the works?

As repulsive as the Heckler Challenge might be, we're still going to hold our noses and watch tonight's installment of Last Comic Standing, airing from 9 PM to 10 PM EDT. Look for our bilious commentary to appear some time later.

In case you'd forgotten, Just For Laughs had a mini-Fest in Toronto for three days after their monster one in Montreal. According to the account in Variety, it was a raging success, but not without a hitch or two:

Unlike the Montreal streets, where organizers have traditionally shied away from standup comedy so as not to alienate either French or English spectators, in English-speaking Toronto the core of the main stage at the outdoor events was standup.

Some of the acts let rip, with the blue material of Italian-Canadian parody/musical duo The Doo Wops in particular raising some eyebrows in the crowd, which included children of all ages.

Though there have been no complaints, Hills said that in the future acts will be asked to tone it down in public places. "Halfway through that concert I was already dealing with that one for next year," he said.

Comedy outdoors. Never a good idea. Not even under the best circumstances. Most of the indoor shows sold out.

And in other Canadian news, the London Free Press had an article about the nominees for the Canadian Comedy Awards.

The CBC TV series Royal Canadian Air Farce received five nominations, including best male performance for political satirist Alan Park. He's also up for best male stand-up comedian against Mike Wilmot, Peter Kelamis, Steve Patterson and Gerry Dee.

Also nominated are Debra DiGiovanni, Erica Sigurdson, Kate Davis, Kristeen von Hagen and Nikki Payne. The winners will be revealed on October 12. London (the Canadian town, not the British town) will host for the fifth year in a row, with showcases, a comedy industry conference and galas, October 9-13.