We published earlier that British comic Paul Foot made the Final Twelve. Now, we're hearing that Foot has been booted. (Is there no end to the puns?)

We also heard that Jim Tavare made it into the top five.

That last bit gave us pause (or is that "paws?"). How could there be a "top five" when the show hasn't even started whittling down the contestants?

It's all so confusing.

Christopher Rocchio interviews LCS host Bill Bellamy and new producer David Friedman for an article for RealityTVWorld.com.

David Friedman was tapped to executive produce the show's sixth installment, and he told reporters he tried to keep the changes minimal but worthwhile.

"To me like the most important thing was not to mess with the format because it's a great show. It's been successful for five seasons," Friedman told reporters. "So I was very sort of aware of like, 'I don't want to be the guy that screws the show up.' But what I wanted to do was I felt the show needed to look a little bit larger and feel a little bit larger, and add some elements that made it a little bit more sort of well-rounded."

So Friedman said he gave Last Comic Standing a "facelift."

"It's little bells and whistles that I tried to bring in and add in production value, and I had some ideas like the talent scouts," he explained. "And little things here and there, and all along keeping in mind that the - not to screw up the format because the show is a good show."

The "facelift" Friedman has given the show is more like bad plastic surgery. Prior to being tapped to rescue LCS, he was (perhaps still is?) exec producer of Last Call with Carson Daly.

The previous producers have bigger reality fish to fry.

Were Friedman's words twisted by Rocchio, or do we have genuine controversy going on here:

Friedman said the talent on the show this year shouldn't disappoint and hinted that the sixth season might produce Last Comic Standing's first-ever female winner.

"I think this year we did see a lot of strong women," he said. "I mean, we really did and I think that's a great sign for everyone in the comedy business because it has been a difficult sort of thing for women to break through. But I think this year we have a great talent pool."

We don't see anything in Friedman's quote to indicate that this season might produce a female winner. And, since (so far as we know) there are only two females among the top twelve finalists, Friedman's statement (and Rocchio's conclusion) makes little sense.

* * *

Bellamy is telling any media outlet who'll listen that things are better than ever:

What I've noticed as the host of the show is that the buzz amongst comedians is that the show is a legitimate show, that it's fun. That's you'll get an opportunity-- it'll increase your value as a comedian. Thus, we get better quality comedians coming out," Bellamy told reporters during a recent conference call. "I think this season is going to be incredibly good. We just have some really funny people with, you know, just creative, original, veiny-- like so unique, you're like, 'What is that?'"

Did he say, "veiny?" We're pretty sure that's a typo.

Bellamy, when asked about the talent level for Season VI, told TVGuide:

We've gotten better because more comics are seeing it. When other comedians see comedians they know are good, it encourages the next season.

Odd. We were thinking the exact opposite. Sure, we see some good, professional comedians on the show (perhaps the same number and level as in past seasons), but often we see them only for a fleeting second, after which the camera cuts to someone on Melrose crossing his eyes or we're treated to Fearne Cotton doing "the Robot."

* * *

Perhaps the biggest mistake the show makes (from an aesthetic standpoint-- the ratings, though anemic this year, have been enough to make the show a "hit") is in "casting" the contestants and making them audition in an empty room.

We recall Star Search, the mid-80s version (which was a hit in syndication), that auditioned comics in front of comedy club audiences in venues like The Comic Strip and Dangerfield's. Many of the comedians who competed on that show-- Rosie O'Donnell, Sinbad, Ray Romano, Steve Odekirk, Bill Engvall, Drew Carey, Dave Chappelle, Kevin James, Dana Gould, Brad Garrett, Dennis Miller-- went on to have lengthy careers performing or writing or producing or a combination of the three. And, it could be argued, there was a smaller pool from which to draw comedy talent.

We suppose that it's the tyranny of the reality format that demands the empty-room audition, the "Next!" mentality, wacky camera angles and the reliance upon zany costumes and desperate searches for "pizza tossers" and "hotties."

* * *

We're wondering-- Where's all the footage from Bellamy's series of "Secret Auditions," conducted in cities throughout the U.S.? There has been no mention of the clandestine auditions so far. This is doubly disappointing since it is our opinion that clips from some of these performances might yield some of the more entertaining minutes of genuine standup-to-audience interaction than anything we've seen from NYC, L.A. or Houston. (Triply disappointing since, as was mentioned here in February, The Male Half participated in a secret audition in Atlanta.)

The method used to produce these tryouts more closely matches those of traditional, non-reality shows and the performances took place in an environment that more closely mimics show conditions. (And the venues aren't stocked with telegenic "hotties" in the front row!) A stage, a set of comics chosen by the venue's manager(s), an audience and a lone camera in the rear of the room. Not perfect, to be sure, but far less contrived than anything else we've seen up until now.

The first segment of tonight's episode is especially grating. We've seen segments on The Weather Channel that had more laughs. It was excruciating and grim... and not in a good way (NBC is fond of promoting their shows by offering a roundup of videos called "Hilarious Awkward Moments." Apparently, awkward is the new ironic. Ironic, you'll recall, substituted for funny back in the 90s. We suppose this makes LCS cutting edge. We can't wait until the wheel turns and humorous is the new funny.)

Speaking of awkward moments, how about Last Comic Driving? The other competing comics are crowded in the rear of the vehicle and-- we happened to notice-- they didn't shoot this with lipstick cameras, Taxicab Confessions-style. No! This production has more equipment and booms and cameras and takes than a Michael Bay chase scene. How embarassing is that: You do your bit over and over and over again while the other comics sit in the back with those sick grins pasted on their mugs and Fearne Cotton pretends to drive. It's The Road Gig From Hell... and it actually takes place on a road!

Our earlier L.A. posting (Jan 30) said, "Making it through to the showcase was Ben Glieb, Ruby Wendell, Thai Rivera, Bob Purkell, Rosie Tran, and Tom Clark."

Then, the next day, we posted the L.A. Five as Eddie Pepitone, Jackie Kashian, Esaw McGraw, Erin Foley and Ron G.

It helps to know this when watching; it enhances the watching experience.

It is fascinating that Clark, who originally was rumored to have advanced, was, through the magic of editing, lumped in with the Chicken Suit Brigade-- the actors, misfits, amateurs, shameless yucksters and various other costumed freakazoids that are somehow deemed to be entertaining by this season's producers. They did it to him twice!

The Chicken Suit Brigade is a pathetic attempt by the producers to catch Mel Silverback lightning in a bottle. (One problem: Silverback was an act that was crafted over years by a real comedian-- Dan Licoppe-- and watching a bunch of emotionally fragile people who have donned a suit that resembles an animal or a Cossack or a spaceman doesn't translate into anything near entertaining.)

Who would have thought that Los Angeles could be made to look like such a sinkhole of talent? It is truly disturbing. Once again there were good comics made to look bad. And there was a disproportionate amount of video spent on some acts that didn't deserve to be in much more of a dolly shot outside the club.

Jackie Kashian did herself a lot of good. She managed to look like the veteran comedy commando that she is.

It looks like Esau McGraw got a red envelope but he wasn't depicted as moving on to Vegas. We've been warning about that. At least he's got a nice clip for his audition DVD. (Unfortunately, "As seen on NBC's Last Comic Standing" will be one of the most diluted credits in comedy clubs over the next few months.)

They gave Los Angeles an entire hour and twenty. Which makes sense. But the time was wasted.

They spent forty minutes in Houston. And they wasted about 8 per cent of that on Sheyla Almeida, this year's Triana Gamaza. (We only mention her here because we know that folks will be searching for her. Or they'll be searching for "big tits houston." Either way, they'll end up here.) We recall seeing a video package on Almeida about three weeks ago on Fox News. (We assume it was carried on a number of newscasts throughout the land.) Her publicist managed to get her plenty of coverage when she announced that she was going to enlarge her already large breasts even further. That same publicist managed to get her on NBC in prime time.


Welcome Google searchers far and wide!

"I don't think I'm ready for comedy, because I'm a real actress," she said at what we hope was the very last 8 seconds of her standup career.

The Houston comics are, as a group, looking better than the Los Angelenos. Was it the editing? Was it the choices made by the producers? Whatever it was, the evening show seemed like it was populated by comics with material and a point of view and confidence.

Andi Smith and Bob Biggerstaff (who both got a lot of face time last season) got the red envelopes.

(Recall what we wrote about Houston, back when we posted this on February 24.)

Everyone seems to have been doing comedy for seven years. Hmmm... We suppose that seven-year figure is just enough time to be experienced, but you could also be under the age of 30, thus making it the perfect number of years when asked the "How long have you been doing this?" question.

Prediction: Everyone in the finals this season gets "Bodden-ed"-- the show will be cancelled before the full complement of episodes have been shown. So low will the ratings sink that sponsors and suits will agree to put the show down. We shall see.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we must wait 20 minutes and rewind and watch the videotape of the season finale of Lost.

After a stint in the U.S. Navy during WWII, Korman studied at the Goodman School of Drama at the Chicago Art Institute, then hit NYC. From the Associated Press obit:

"For the next 13 years I tried to get on Broadway, on off-Broadway, under or beside Broadway," he told a reporter in 1971.

He had no luck and had to support himself as a restaurant cashier. Finally, in desperation, he and a friend formed a nightclub comedy act.

"We were fired our first night in a club, between the first and second shows," he recalled.

After returning to Chicago, Korman decided to try Hollywood, reasoning that "at least I'd feel warm and comfortable while I failed."

From the NBC press release:

Thursday from 9:30-11 p.m. ET, the season premiere of "Last Comic Standing" averaged a 2.4/6 in 18-49 and 5.9 million viewers overall. Despite facing head-to-head competition from the season finale of ABC's "Grey's Anatomy," "Last Comic" increased from its first half-hour to its third by 4 percent in adults 18-49, by 11 percent in adults 18-34, by 14 percent in men 18-49 and by 15 percent in men 18-34.

On Friday, May 23 at 8 p.m. ET, an encore telecast of "Most Outrageous Moments" delivered a 1.3/5 in 18-49 and 4.7 million viewers overall. At 8:30 p.m., a second rebroadcast of "Most Outrageous Moments" delivered a 1.5/6 in 18-49 and 5.1 million viewers overall. These back-to-back episodes of "Most Outrageous Moments" matched NBC's highest 18-49 rating in this hour in five weeks.

Read the rest of the release, detailing NBC's entire week at FutonCritic.com.

And, in an LAT article entitled "Broadcast networks under siege," Scott Collins marvels at just how far the networks have fallen. He interprets the above numbers thusly:

The broadcast bosses say they're all about change now. NBC Universal boss Jeff Zucker spent an hour last week on Charlie Rose's PBS show repeating the mantra that his network has to think now about developing material that can work on multiple "platforms," including online. Easier said than done though. NBC's "American Gladiators" and "Last Comic Standing" belly-flopped in heavily promoted outings recently ("Comic" drew just 5.7 million total viewers opposite the "Grey's Anatomy" season finale Thursday), and it's tough to believe those programs-- both cheap reality fare, with little to no replay value-- will suddenly turn on a magical cash spigot in a different medium.

Ouch!

Recall that five years ago:

The numbers for Last Comic have been solid, if not spectacular, throughout the summer. According to the Nielsen overnights, the Last Comic finale averaged 8.2 million viewers to win its time slot (final figures are due out later Wednesday). For its nine-week summer run, Last Comic averaged about 8.3 million viewers and last week's penultimate installment ranked 19th among total viewers, with 8.5 million. (Unlike Dat Phan, Nielsen Media Research does not report average laughs per minute.)

The following blog entry appeared on comedian Butch Bradley's MySpace profile:

If you haven't heard the sad news we have lost a dear friend and a great comic! Mitch Mullany has passed away. A sad sad loss for any and all that have ever had the pleasure of knowing him. He was a great friend and a stand-up killer! I watched Mitch put panic on the faces of some of the best comics out. He could make anyone laugh he was and is a comics favorite comic! My thoughts and prayers are with his family!


See you on the Big Stage my friend,

Butch Bradley

We placed a phone call to Mullany's management, Principato-Young Entertainment in Los Angeles and they confirmed that they still managed Mullany, but when asked if they could confirm his death, the person who answered said that they "couldn't comment."

Mullany's Wikipedia entry:

Mitch Mullany (Born 1968 in Oakland, California) is an Irish American actor and screenwriter. He starred on the WB show The Wayans Bros. as White Mike and also had his own show, Nick Freno: Licensed Teacher. In 1999, he wrote and starred in his own film entitled "The Breaks" as Derrick King. Most recently he hosted an ABC reality series called All American Girl.

If we hear anything definite, we'll let you know.

We're watching the Food Network when a promo for "The Next Food Network Star" pops up and we see among the contestants for the new season Cory Kahaney.

Is a New York City native that is no stranger to the spotlight. Cory has previously been featured on Last Comic Standing, Comedy Central and The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. When it comes to cooking though, Cory is serious about great food. She considers her style MAMMA cooking - grounded in the classics of Mediterranean, Austrian, Mexican, Middle Eastern and Asia.

The reality show puts people with various levels of experience in cooking and catering and restaurant running to the test and tries to determine which might be the best to host one of the networks 200 or so cooking shows. She is one of three contestants who has some experience in front of the camera, so she is probably a favorite to win.

Watch for stories of agents advising their clients to complete the 30-week Culinary Institute of America (Los Angeles) certificate program.

From the March 2008 issue of Men's Health, an item in their Average Guy section provides some fascinating statistics (no source given). Most interesting among them:It's those last two that caught our attention. 67 per cent think they got what it takes comedy-wise, but only one tenth of those who do eventually muster the courage (or drink enough) to mount the stage. (Or, as many of those in the MSM might put it, 6.25 per cent of those who know they're funny are so insecure and so utterly lacking in basic confidence and maturity that they feel it's necessary to engage in an ostentatious display of their funniness by embarrassing themselves at one of those horrible open mike nights.)

A boxed item entitled "Always leave 'em laughing," has brief advice nuggets solicited from FOS Wayne Cotter and former Boston comic (now sitcom producer) Jonathan Groff.

Both Halves of the Staff are reading Alan King's autobio, "Name-Dropping," (with Chris Chase). It's good, fluffy summer reading and, as far as the title goes, it delivers.

But, since King was born the day after Christmas 1926, be prepared to catch names that belong mostly to long-dead giants of the industry.

King started performing at a very early age, during the depression, in NYC and later in the Catskills, so a lot of his stories involve Jolson, Cantor, Berle, George Burns and, in this excerpt, Joe E. Lewis:

In 1949, I was appearing at the Paramount (the last of the big New York movie houses that stilled featured vaudeville) on a bill with Billy Eckstine, when I got a call from Joe E. He needed a favor. He was stuck in Chicago and couldn't get home in time to do a benefit that night. "Can you make an appearance for charity?" he asked me. "It's at the Astor Hotel, you're four steps away."

I'd never turned Joe E. down, but it was a Saturday; we did six shows at the Paramount on Saturday, so I was not in the best frame of mind to do a benefit.

I came offstage, walked across the street to the Astor Ballroom, and said to the stage manager, "Listen, I've got an hour and a half between shows. If I con't go on now, I can't go on at all." So the bandleader interrupts the dinner: "Ladies and gentlemen, direct from the Paramount Theater, Alan King."

I do a half an hour and go back to my dressing room at the Paramount. The phone rings. It's Joe E. "What the hell happened? Where were you?"

"What do you mean, where was I? I just did half an hour at the Astor Ballroom"

"Schmuck!" Joe E. yells. "It was the Astor Roof!" I'd done half an hour in the wrong room.

Speaking of Joe E. Lewis, we coincidentally were able to watch the first half of the 1957 movie made from Lewis' autobiography, "The Joker Is Wild," starring Frank Sinatra. Sinatra was the absolute wrong person to star in the pic because he seems to be (and quite possibly could actually be) totally, utterly humorless. This is an impairment, especially when portraying a man who was one of the most recognized comedians of the middle third of the last century. Hey, it was 1957 and Frank was hot.

King's career started early (in the Catskills at the age of 15) and lasted 60 years. And his middle and later work was featured on network television, on HBO and in such contemporary films as "Memories of Me," "Sunshine State" and "Night and the City." King was a rare figure in that he was familiar to several generations of comedy fans. He straddled the old school and the new. He freely admits to having stolen most or all of his material when he was starting out-- very old school. But his specials from the 70s and 80s were constructed from original material, if not always material that was warmly received by the MSM. (Click for a 1987 NYT review by John J. O'Connor with a paragraph that begins with "Like many comedians, Mr. King is fascinated with himself.")

We still fondly recall King's "Survived by his wife!" bit from one of his specials. It was maybe 1987.

The Male Half had the pleasure of meeting King, in rather odd circumstances. TMHOTS was among three Philly comics summoned to the studios of KYW in Philadelphia one early weekday morning, in 1985 for the purpose of appearing on that station's "People Are Talking," then hosted by Maury Povich. King was on the talk circuit, promoting his book, "Is Salami and Eggs Better Than Sex? Memoirs of a Happy Eater"

The premise was that, after King was done plugging his book, the three comics would each go up and do a minute or two in front of the studio audience, while King watched from the side. The master comic would then critique each performance. King was extremely gracious when it came to evaluating The Male Half's set. Says The Male Half:

He said I was "an egghead comic," (his exact words) who employed slightly high-brow material and that my audience had better be alert. He also pointed out, rather astutely, that I must be accustomed to working nightclubs and comedy clubs because, at the end of my set, at 7 in the morning, I said, "Thank you very much, good night." A review of the tape proves King to be correct.

Not every old school comedian would have been as accomodating as King was that day.

One other noteworthy slice from the book:

I was so blessed to have watched him (Joe E. Lewis), to have watched the whole cast of characters who were the Friars. It was an incredible time, and though I don't know if I was realized that I was learning, I absorbed by osmosis the lessons they taught. Each one had his own trick, a nuance, a personal way of doing things. Some of these people were even bigger than the stories about them.[...]

Today, there are a lot of wonderful young comedians who make me laugh, but the ones I like best have a sense of history and tradition. Richard Pryor, Billy Crystal and Robin Williams, they don't get into bed at night saying, "Today, I invented show business."

The brief AP item:

LOS ANGELES - Dick Martin, the zany half of the comedy team whose "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In" took television by storm in the 1960s, making stars of Goldie Hawn and Lily Tomlin and creating such national catch-phrases as "Sock it to me!" has died. He was 86.

Family spokesman Barry Greenberg says Martin died Saturday night of respiratory complications at a hospital in Santa Monica.

"Heeeeeeere's... DICKY!"

That's how we remember which was which-- Dan Rowan was the straight man who would come out with a drink and say a few words on the hot topics of the day before he'd bring out the permanently befuddled Martin. Martin was goofy, sharp, funny, confused-- all at the same time. He was preceded in death by his straight man, Rowan, who died in 1987. They paired up in the 50s.

According to Wikipedia:

They returned to the nightclub circuit until 1966, when they were tapped to host the summer-replacement series for The Dean Martin Show. The exposure led to an opportunity for Rowan and Martin to team up with producers Ed Friendly and George Schlatter and create Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In (1968-1973) on NBC.

There are other websites out there, on the internet, who employ regular citizens to hold forth on various subjects. They take the scribblings of these folks (who are not necessarily experts on their chosen subjects) and build websites-- "fan sites" or "fan communities"-- and, in some cases, they sell the site to giant corporations for millions of dollars (all the while failing to compensate the contributors). One such site featured a recap of Thursday night's LCS premiere, which began like this:

Stand-up comedy is unfathomably difficult. I know this because about 99 % of all stand-up comedians are terrible. I laugh easily, and it's hard to find a theatrical comedy that I won't squeeze at least a few chuckles out of, but watching stand-up comedy, for me, is often painful.

This particular site gets about a million unique visitors per month, and this article is merely one among many. So it's not like this opinion will reach all that many readers. But, it's still rather unsettling when someone burbles out such a dumb and wicked opinion in such a matter-of-fact way.

So, we're in Kansas City, and we're on Central Daylight Time. And we've got an 8 PM show. So, there's no way we're going to be able to watch the show in real time.

So... we go to the Goodwill on Shawnee Mission Parkway and buy a big old clunky JVC VCR and hook it up to our hotel TV.

We call that dedication, people.

We come home after our show and we watch the entire, bizarre, revolting, emotional roller coaster. There are maybe eight entertaining minutes out of the ninety that were broadcast. If a comedy club presented that kind of ratio of entertaining to gut-churning, folks would be walking out.

Let's remind folks of who made it into the final ten:

God's Pottery
Adam Hunter
Jeff Dye
Ron G
Paul Foot
Iliza Shlesinger
Marcus
Jim Tavaré
Esther Ku
Louis Ramey
Sean Cullen
Papa C.J.

We remind you because some of our compadres out there-- some other websites who are purportedly looking out for your comedy interests-- are acting like they don't know who makes it "into the house," even though we posted the info on March 31. That's seven weeks ago. Do they not trust our sources?

Last Comic Driving? Just when you thought they couldn't come up with something more uncomfortable, something more demeaning, something more horribly contrived than Comics Unleashed-- Ladies and gentlemen, we give you Last Comic Driving!

Why is it called Last Comic Driving? The comic... isn't... DRIVING!

We gotta figure Andrew Norelli is accustomed to headlining. Elsewise, how could he be so comfortable being driven around while some hot babe is ignoring everything he says. (A feature act would be more comfortable actually driving around and delivering material... and having his every word ignored.)

New York. The "celebrity talent scouts" were Richard Belzer and Steven Schirripa. (Full disclosure: We're working for Schirripa July 7-13 at the Riviera Comedy Club in Vegas, so we thought his work in this episode was absolutely spectacular! He might be the most insightful, compassionate and thought-provoking celebrity talent scout this show has ever had! Belzer? Not so much.)

Where was the footage of the "secret auditions" that we know were conducted around the country, in comedy clubs like the Atlanta Punchline? (We know that Josh Sneed won that particular showcase, but he was only shown in the background, for a fleeting second or two, over Bellamy's shoulder, during the Gotham segment.) What gives? Why were we (The Male Half included) forced to fill out that voluminous release form if we weren't going to at least be part of a snappily-produced package that showed Bellamy jetting all over North America, seeking the best and the brightest? Hell, it took some of us longer to sign the release than it did to do our sets!

What became of Aparna Nancherla? We reported back on February 8 that she earned red envelope. Come May 22 and we don't even see her face in the background. Perhaps we didn't scour the video tape well enough. Hey, she got a red envelope-- we shouldn't have to analyze the video like a CIA operative inspecting satellite images in order to see her. If she was good enough back in February, she should be good enough in May.

Why? So many WHY's!

For instance: Why was so much emphasis placed on some gal who wears a whole lot of different outfits (Whoo!) when there were so many comics (Josh Sneed, Costaki Economopoulos, Jon Fisch) who-- we guarantee-- were perfectly capable of delivering solid, funny sets?

Why give all this play, shoot all this footage, lash together all these packages on people who just can't possibly deliver when there are four or five or six comics who can? (We know they were there-- we saw them standing in the background at the end of the evening set at Gotham!) It's called Last Comic Standing and we're mystified as to why costume changes and banana suits and Sith lords and strippers are given priority over comics who can make people convulse with a well-turned phrase, a punchline, a joke.

Esther Ku. She may well be a fine comedian. Some day. For now, she's capable of delivering a four- or five-minute set at a showcase. It's rather depressing. She is an amateur. If she wins-- And, let's face it, she's made it to Vegas and to the Final Twelve, so there is every possibility that she might win-- she will be perfectly capable of doing absolutely nothing in the way of standup comedy. Four minutes of material is hardly adequate for doing battle with a crowd of 40 or 400 or 4,000. What can come of her elevation to Last... Comic... Standing?

Tempe. We reported that Marcus, Phil Palisoul and Adam Hunter got the red envelope. We also reported that Alycia Cooper and Bryan Kellen got one, too. Cooper was unceremoniously "disappeared." Perhaps she refused to sign the release. Kellen got a good amount of face time. But he was not depicted as victorious.

Marcus. We have nothing against impressionists. Impressionists are perfect cogs in the wheels of many a sketch TV show. They often carry those shows. But this is a standup show. We do have a beef with impressionists who have no jokes to go along with the mimicry. Perhaps his jokes were stripped out by the producers. If so, they have played a cruel joke on the man.

Fearne Cotton. The fabric of our lives? We don't think so. She is a waste. An unnecessary bauble. A British accent and little more.

If we re-run the video tape and catch anything else, we'll let you know. The show was so bad, we are actually considering taking the VCR back to the Goodwill and getting $7.98 store credit back. But that would get us very bad thrift store karma. And you don't want that.

There was a brief item on Fox News' Special Report, hosted by Brit Hume, that told of order returning to Baghdad. Video footage depicted what was identified as yet another sign of that return to order: A comedy show. In the video, a large crowd guffaws as a rather physical and manic Iraqi comedian whirls about in a large function room, while fatigue-clad members of the Iraq Army, armed with submachine guns, look on.

Another item, in the Economist, is subtitled "A boom in satire marks a decade of sturdy democracy." It tells of mini satire boom on Indonesian television, much of which pokes fun at elected officials-- something that would have been unthinkable under former ruler Suharto. It's not all fun and games, however. There's still some speed bumps for those who wish to speak truth to Indonesian power.

Some politicians moaned that the show flouted Indonesian cultural traditions of respect for authority. However, says Mr Gazali, a poll in 2006 found that only about one-fifth of the public—mostly the elderly—bought this self-serving argument. The programme's success has spawned imitators on other channels.

In two rulings, in December 2006 and July 2007, the Constitutional Court struck out clauses in the criminal code that had made it a crime to insult senior figures. Undeterred, officials have dredged up other obscure clauses to have several journalists jailed over critical articles about them. But the chances are that the court will strike these down too, when it hears the journalists' petitions, and that those in power will have to get used to criticism.

The piece concludes with this: "Much still needs fixing in Indonesian democracy. But at least it seems pretty secure. And in the meantime, the satirists are not short of material."

You can get a good idea of how healthy a democracy is by how well its big shots tolerate ribbing. And it always amazes us just how quickly folks crank up the humor when serious and deadly matters start looking as thought they're squared away.

We're on the road. In Kansas City, at Famous Johnnys. Tonight, we have one show at 8 PM, but we've rigged up a VCR in our hotel room to tape the show (which will start just about the same time the Male Half hits the stage, since we're on Central Daylight Time).

Fear not! We will scurry back to our room, view the video and spin out some of our now-famous analysis! It'll probably upload sometime around midnight EDT.

We understand that some of Bill Bellamy's "secret" audition shows will be sliced and diced and presented in tonight's 90-minute episode. Which means that the Atlanta audition show might be featured. Which means that the Male Half's mug might actually make it onto the screen for a fleeting second or two. We shall see!

Actually, there were a handful of sitcoms announced at the upfronts, but one in particular stands out as far as we're concerned. It's entitled Project Gary, and it will star a standup comic, Jay Mohr, and is co-created by a standup comic, Ed Yeager.

Before gathering multiple credits as a writer, consulting producer and supervising producer, Yeager was a comedian and, says the Male Half, a damn fine one. (The Male Half shared a bill with Yeager and then-unknown emcee Steve Harvey at the Hilarities in Cuyahoga Falls, circa 1985. Shortly thereafter, Yeager took off for Hollywood, where he caught on as a staffer with Roseanne.

A sharp-eyed MPLS reader sent us a link to a story in the Star-Turbine by Neal Justin. No shock that we find out that the "reality" series is rigged.

Following the Minneapolis auditions, judges Brian Baumgartner and Kate Flannery, stars of "The Office," went behind closed doors, presumably to come to a consensus.

When they returned after more than a half-hour of deliberation, I was stunned by their choices. So was Acme comedy club owner Louis Lee, who has some of the sharpest ears in the business.

Turns out they weren't working alone. The two admitted afterward that producers played a significant role in making the final call and that they were frustrated that some of their favorites were passed over.

In an earlier season, when Drew Carey and Brett Butler went apeshit for the cameras after their choices were bulldozed, we weren't sure if it was theater or genuine controversy. Either choice looked bad for the show and the show's producers. (It was bad theater or it was fairly contrived controversy.)

Justin wonders aloud, "These tweaks are nothing compared with the quiz-show scandals of the 1950s. But I do think it's time to reserve the title of "reality" for only the purest of documentary shows. The rest belong in a new category: Tainted TV."

But we wonder just why they feel compelled to frame the entire show in the way they do-- in the now-hackneyed "reality" format. Why not just bill the show as a contest (ala Star Search), cast the show with whomever you'd like to see compete (with input from agents, managers, suits, etc.-- all behind closed doors) and then have a damn contest.

Cutforth and Lipsitz are capable of producing quality reality television (Top Chef), so it's a mystery as to why this one is so hamhanded and obviously rigged. (Perhaps it's the meddling from NBC.)

Mike Weatherford writes, in the Las Vegas Review-Journal:

Yet another comedy club arrives, but this one is downtown at Fitzgerald's. Comedy After Hours is an expansion of an Austin, Texas, club and opens May 22. There will be two "road" comedians and a local host for a $29 ticket. "Country Superstars Tribute" will share the room and keep its 7 p.m. time slot, but won't have shows on Fridays or Saturdays.

Fitzgerald's spokesman Gene Sagas says the real carrot is the club's plan to film each Tuesday show and distribute it for late-night cable TV viewing around the country; a free plug for the casino each time the show comes back from a commercial.

The "real carrot?!" Whatever.

The Austin room referred to is located in the Dave & Buster's on Research Blvd. in Austin and has comedy on Friday nights only.

We wonder if the comedians are receiving any compensation for their appearance on "late-night cable TV viewing around the country?" And we wonder which cable outlet will be carrying the show? (We suspect the answers are "none" and "none," otherwise Sagas would have provided Weatherford with the information.

At $29 per ticket in a downtown venue, we probably won't have to wonder long.

In the space of just a few weeks, the New York Times has run two interesting profiles of comedians-- one, an article on Mort Sahl on the occasion of Sahl's birthday:

It was Mr. Sahl's 81st birthday the next day, this past Sunday, so after Saturday night's show he was given a birthday cake in the dressing room, and everyone sang to him. He blew out the candle and quoted Adlai Stevenson. Mr. Cavett laughed and said it had to be one of the greatest things ever said over a birthday cake.

And another, this one also by the same author, Corey Kilgannon, is a tribute to 93-year-old Prof. Irwin Corey, which contains priceless Corey-ese:

Waiting for his coffee, Mr. Corey explained the meaning of life, at least as he and probably no one else understood it.

"One of the things that you've got to understand is that we've got to develop a continuity in order to relate to exacerbate those whose curiosity has not been defended, yet the information given can no longer be used as allegoric because the defendant does not use the evidence which can be substantiated by," he said before finally asking, "What was the question?"

Performer Johnny Vegas has sued Guardian News & Media, publishers of UK publications The Guardian and the Observer, over a pair of articles about a recent Vegas appearance at the Bloomsbury Theatre in London. The initial piece was a blog posting by Guardian columnist Mary O'Hara, who was present at the performance and the other, titled "Sorry, but that really isn’t funny, Johnny," appeared in the Observer. Read the account of Vegas' lawsuit here

(The Clune piece has been taken down. As has the other article. But we found a cached version of the a blog posting by the Guardian's O'Hara.) Here's a taste:

Along with hundreds of others I watched a set during which Johnny Vegas, without any discernible artistic or comedic merit, gratuitously groped a young woman on stage. Judging from some of the furious postings on the internet that followed the gig, I was not the only person asking if he had crossed a line.

Vegas stepped on stage to cheers and immediately announced that he had no material, and that he was there mostly to get laid. There followed a short meandering ramble (mainly about lap dancers) before he turned his attention to the audience - and to one young woman in particular in the front row who, he announced, he wanted to be "inside". Anyone who has seen Vegas live knows to expect the unexpected, and you take a front row seat at your peril. He can appear deliriously and uncontrollably drunk and casually offensive, and he isn't afraid of injecting a dose of tension by involving members of the audience in his erratic act. But something backfired this time.

The woman he focused on was about 18 or 19 and was very obviously unnerved by his attention. I saw her expression clearly - I was in the front row too, just three seats along. Vegas insisted that she allow herself to be carried on to the stage by six members of the audience - he called them "pall bearers". She must pretend to be dead, he said, and he would bring her back to life with an onstage kiss. He warned her that there probably would be tongues. As James Williams, writing on the NOTBBC forum after the gig, put it, "Honestly, you couldn't have found a nervier or more passive girl if you'd scoured all of London - she was like a rabbit in the headlights, but she was giggling and clearly somewhat enjoying the attention, so it just sort of went ahead without so much as a yes or no from her." As she was carried on stage, Vegas repeatedly goaded one of the pallbearers to "finger" the girl.

And on like that.

Vegas stated: "A massive part of my act has always been involving my audience. If somebody comes along and doesn’t find it funny, thats one thing, but unfortunately this person came along and tried to suggest that something much darker had gone on which is quite upsetting to me."

We're not familiar with British libel laws (they differ significantly from ours), but we're not so sure that suing is the best path to take here. There were plenty of witnesses. The multitude of comments on the Guardian blog (which, unfortunately didn't survive along with the cached version of the posting) didn't dispute the facts. They mainly argued about the artistic merit of the "performance" and whether or not it was "funny." And, of course, much speculation focused on whether O'Hara was a stick in the mud, a jackass, a prude or a moron. If we recall correctly, the commenters seemed pretty split down the middle, with maybe a small majority landing in the appalled/didn't find it funny camp.

None of the commenters disputed the basic facts of what happened. They strained mightily to explain why the performance was funny. (What's the old expression? If you gotta explain it, it ain't a joke.) It seemed as though their main objective wasn't so much to enlighten the various "nitwits" who don't get the "brilliant" Vegas as to excuse any possible criminal (or, at the least, boorish) behavior at the Bloomsbury that night.

It seems rather odd that Vegas would sue. After all, he got precisely what he wanted-- press and plenty of it. What does he care if a blogger for the Guardian is shocked and appalled at his hijinks? Is that not what he lives for? Isn't that the desired effect? It would seem that bringing such a suit would invite further scrutiny of the events of the evening-- necessarily minus any debate as to whether his conduct was "art" or "funny"-- which might set off a chain of events that could have serious ramifications.

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We got married in Honolulu in 1988. We had just moved to Burbank in September and we immediately planned a trip Hawaii. It would be our first trip to the islands and we'd be leaving in late November and staying for 10 days.

Just after arriving, the Male Half popped into the Honolulu Comedy Club (at the time, atop the Ilikai) and, in a conversation with proprietor Eddie Sax, let it be known that he and the Female Half were interested in getting hitched while in town. Sax recommended Rev. Richard B. Elsner. That's him in the photo, between Bob Hope and KGMB radio DJ Hal Lewis, aka "Akuhead Pupule." He's playing bass. He played bass and some horns for a lot of the shows that came through Hawaii for 35 years.



We contacted the Reverend and he married us on December 2, in the shadow of Diamond Head, at a park on the ocean. Rev. Elsner's living in Vegas now, marrying people at the Monte Carlo and at the Stratosphere. We're hoping to get together with him when we perform at the Riv July 7-13.

We dig that crazy long-sleeve Hawaiian shirt tha Hope's wearing!

The Female Half is reading "Blood and Thunder: The Epic Story of Kit Carson and the Conquest of the American West" by Hampton Sides. In it there's a story, one of many revolving around the struggle to dominate the continent's southwest region, in which the Mexicans invite a bunch of Indian leaders to "talk." They gather them in a room, feed them, give stuff to smoke, etc. Then they clong them over the head and kill them all.

She was reminded of the story when we received an email from Annie O'Rourke from Rooftop Comedy:

I am happy to let you know that Shecky Magazine has been nominated for a Rooftop Award for best Online Industry Publication for 2008.

The Rooftop Academy (Rooftop clubs, nominees, staff and other industry "types") will be voting on this in the coming weeks, with the winners announced during the Aspen Rooftop Comedy Festival on May 31, 2008.

That's right-- we're among four "Online Industry Publications" in the running for an award for "best coverage of the world of comedy."

Something's up. We just know it. Earlier this week, we received an invite to attend Rooftop's shindig at the end of this month in Aspen. Several factors mitigate against us attending-- Short notice, Aspen is far away and expensive to get to and expensive to stay in once one gets there.

And then there's the matter of what we've said in the pages of this magazine. Specifically about Rooftop. "Read those releases carefully", from October of last year raises some... interesting questions... about Rooftop and their modus operandi.

And another posting, "Standup fest to continue in Aspen?", says some less than complimentary things about eternal grousebucket David Brenner. Brenner is playing ball with Rooftop, or so the legend goes. He scoured the Rooftop site to choose the talent for a series of shows at Aspen's Wheeler Opera House. We received a scathing email or two from the Wheeler's Executive Director (go read his comment on the above posting-- OUCH!) We suspect that Wheeler and/or Brenner will be part of Rooftop's festival. So, we doubt we'd be comfortable floating around the Rockies May 30 and 31.

We don't mean to sound ungrateful. We're flattered that, after nine years of cranking out this publication, someone saw fit to recognize our work and our contribution to the industry. And we congratulate our fellow nominees. (Or shall we call them "honorees," since merely being nominated is quite an honor?)

And it's actually a very smart idea-- they're also giving awards to talent. Something that hasn't been done since George Schlatter did it back in the 80s and 90s. And Schlatter did it so poorly toward the end, it's a wonder that anyone would try again!

But considering what we've written-- and considering the logistical/fiscal nightmare represented by arranging travel to Aspen on two week's notice-- and haunted by the images of Indians being clonged on the head by seemingly well-meaning Mexicans back in the 1840s, we'll be back in Jersey, anxiously awaiting the results of the balloting. May the best online industry publication win.

We hear through our extensive network of operatives that Chuck Johnson (Summit) is opening a room at Fitzgerald's in downtown Vegas. We haven't been downtown in a while. We have warm and fuzzies for the neighborhood-- when we held our SHECKYmagazine Comics Only Reunion in 2001, we based it out of the Union Plaza-- the vibe was perfect as far as we were concerned-- compact, lots of cheap rooms, plenty of cheap booze and food, all within walking distance. And it all hearkens back to old Vegas (except for the computerized light show canopy above), without a trace of (modern-era) Steve Wynn or Celine Dion or the Super-Mega-Five-Star themed fantasy resorts that dominate The Strip. (Which is also one of the reasons we dig the Riv. BTW: We'll be appearing at the Comedy Club at the Riviera July 7-13. Stop on by!)

We're unclear on the aim of NBC's ad blitz which touts their "All-American Summer" and co-promotes LCS along with American Gladiator, Celebrity Circus and Nashville Star and other reality/competition shows.

We're especially mystified by the two-page ad in last week's Us Weekly (See the right half of the ad above), which depicts host Bill Bellamy ankle-deep in an inflatable wading pool while sneering children look on disapprovingly. We're unnerved by the fact that Bellamy seems more interested in entertaining the array of lawn gnomes and pink flamingos.

In the left half of the spread, is depicted a clown holding a bunch of balloons, a fat kid on a seesaw with a girl wearing a bikini and a line of comedic hopefuls which stretches on seemingly to infinity.

So many questions! Who is the Kevin Smith-looking dude checking his watch? What's with attitude? Everyone seems to be impatient-- folded arms, hans on the hips, watch-checking-- one doesn't need a degree in Body Language Analysis to know that Bellamy is the object of much ire and annoyance. Are the kids pissy because Bellamy is cutting into their wading time? Or do they just hate comedians? Or do they just despise Bellamy? The whole scene is painted in a photorealism style, but it has an eerie, surreal quality to it.

And lawn gnomes? Aren't we about a decade past the peak of lawn gnomes being shorthand for "We're so clever, so above it all?" (And maybe two decades over our obsession with the flamingos.) We understand the banana peel icon... sorta.

The whole thing is odd. We're not sure what message it is sending to Us Weekly readers. We look forward to the premiere on May 22. Mark your calendars. And, if you just can't wait, you can hop onto LCS's official site and check out the videos-- "Can Miss USA and Miss Universe impress the scouts at Last Comic Standing?" is the tease for one of the vids. We sense danger.

While away the hours by reading "Where are they now?" interviews with Dat Phan and Jay London. Meet Fearne Cotton! And get to know the celebrity judges! We note that NBC has mis-identified celeb talent scout Richard Kind as "Richard King!" That's gotta sting!

In this article in Vanity Fair, Jim Windolf handicaps the upcoming race among late night television talk show hosts. Over the next few months, Leno leaves, Conan moves to 11:30, Letterman's contract is up and/or due for renewal and today, at the upfronts, network suits will formally announce that Jimmy Fallon is supposedly slated to take Conan's place.

When the dust settles from this multi-million dollar musical chairs, the landscape will be significantly different. As the investors are bound by law to tell you, past performance is no guarantee of future results. So Windolf's speculation has about a five-minute shelf life (as does ours).

It is especially puzzling that the author seems to have a blind spot when it comes to two of the players-- Jimmy Kimmel and Craig Ferguson. Paragraph three:

Out of all the late-night hosts, with the possible exception of the sleepy Jimmy Kimmel, Ferguson seems the least ambitious. Unlike O’Brien, Letterman, Leno, and Jon Stewart—all of whom seethe to be the best in their field—Ferguson seems content to put on a nice little show. A former film director and sitcom second banana, he has the relaxed manner of someone who has already proved himself, at least to his own satisfaction. He’s warm, non-neurotic. He would probably make a great dinner-party guest. But his show, which is friendly, civil, and homey, is more about keeping a time slot warm than creating something new or setting the ratings on fire.

We note that this is the only reference to Kimmel. It may be significant that he refers to him as "sleepy." Don't let the heavy eyelids fool you. Kimmel may be the man who smokes everyone in the long run-- a sleeper who comes from way back in the pack to finish first.

And Ferguson may be his biggest rival. That description of Ferguson's Late, Late Show-- "friendly, civil, and homey... more about keeping a time slot warm than creating something new or setting the ratings on fire"-- is a perfect description of Carson's version of Tonight.

And Windolf's scenario that sees Jon Stewart goes to 11:30 or later would be a disaster. A late-night Stewart would go the way of Dennis Miller, Rick Dees, Joan Rivers, David Brenner and the handful of others (including Stewart himself!) who tried and failed to catch on after the local news.

Hey, Chucky Baby! Dig this from a Comedy Central press release:

COMEDY CENTRAL and Sony Pictures Television are bringing back a classic series with a twist. Lauren Corrao, president, original programming and development, announced the network has greenlit, The Gong Show with Dave Attell. The new series is scheduled to premiere on July 17.

Executive Produced by Happy Madison Productions and Andrew Golder (Identity and Win Ben Stein's Money) in association with Sony Pictures Television, The Gong Show with Dave Attell will consist of eight to ten off-beat and hilarious acts that will be judged by a panel of three revolving celebrity judges. The search for talent has already begun and submissions are being accepted at gongshowcasting@aol.com.

Creator and reluctant host Chuck Barris will be a hard act to follow. And now that we're hard-bitten, cynical adults, we'll have a hard time believing that any of the wacky acts aren't just some agents idea of how to get his client exposure on a cable television show (possibly leading to a reality series or guest spots on other Comedy Central productions). Of course, that's not what they were the first time around... but we weren't hard-bitten, cynical adults back then. And quite a few of us were high.

Check out the A.V. Club's tremendous interview with Murray Langston. An excerpt:

Yeah. Gallagher came from Florida with Jim Stafford. Remember Jim Stafford? "My Girl Bill" and "Spiders And Snakes?" He was a hit back then. He had his own summer show and a bunch of hit records. Gallagher was one of his best friends, and was writing his act. He walked into my club one day, and I'm going, "Jim Stafford!" Like I said, he was a big hit at this time. He says, "I'll get up and do a couple songs if you put my buddy on." I said, "Sure, who's your buddy?" The guy's name was Gallagher. He did the watermelon thing the first time he was there and floored the place. But he had done it before. That wasn't the first place he did it; him and Stafford, apparently, worked at a little place in Florida, where they were originally from. Stafford is making about $20 million a year now in Branson, Missouri. He's very, very successful.Anyway, so those couple years I had the club, I lost everything, and I was busted, broke. I had no money, and The Gong Show has been on the air maybe six months. And if you were in the union, which I was, and you appeared on The Gong Show, you got a few hundred dollars. I heard that everybody was going on who needed money—actors were making up these little bits—so I said, "Well, I could use the money." So I said, "Well, if I put a bag on my head and tell a couple jokes, nobody will know it's me." I didn't want anybody to know it was me, because I'd just been on The Sonny And Cher Show. So I was embarrassed having to do...

Southwest Airlines' in-flight magazine Spirit found a way to promote Brad Garrett's May 9-10 gig at the Mirage in their destination city Las Vegas by running an article by him (or ghost-written for him by his publicist) that lists "four works worth a laugh."

Woody Allen, The Night Club Years 1964-1968

Don Rickles, Hello Dummy!

Bill Cosby, Why Is There Air?

Jimmy Walker, Dyn-O-Mite

Go here for Spirit's online component to the article, which lists a couple more albums and includes a link or two.

We posted in November about mental health counselor David Granirer, who teaches standup to the mentally ill ("The pot calling the kettle crazy"). We're okay with someone gathering mentally ill people up and coaching them in the ways of standup comedy, but we grow weary of folks like Granirer (and his enablers in the media) who peddle this "all comics are crazy" meme.

Yet another media outlet has fallen for it. This time, it's Doug Williamson, writing for the Windsor (Ontario) Star who has spun a virtually identical tale to November's Vancouver piece, complete with the insulting roundhouse at the end:

Granirer said coaching people with mental illness can be challenging.

"The subject matter is very serious," he said, adding that some people are on medication or have cognitive impairments which can make preparation more difficult.

But then again, many professional comedians probably suffer from some form of mental illness without realizing it, he said.

"There's the diagnosed and the undiagnosed," he laughed.

"I think you've got to be a little bit nuts to do standup comedy."

The only difference between this article and the November article is that this time Granirer has added the "probably" qualifier. But, of course, he also throws in the diagnosed/undiagnosed switcheroo-- a great comfort to those who want to believe that all comics are indeed on the crazy bubble. Thanks, Dave.

(We're a bit confused: When Granirer speaks of his students, he does so in hyper-serious mode, so as to "confront and fight public prejudice" and bravely dispel the myths. Yet, when he plants the ridiculous notion about undiagnosed comedians, he does so-- at least according to Williamson-- with a laugh.)