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Like a lot of comics, I go through
bouts of depression so severe, I can
barely get out of bed in the afternoon.
I medicate of course, with pot and
alcohol, though an anti-depressant
would likely be a simpler solution,
at least when it came to getting
the dosage right. Iíd probably show
my ass to a lot less people. I found
there is a certain combination of
alcohol and pot which really perks
me up but I never seem to have the
presence of mind to write it down.
And so, the experimentation continues.
Art makes me happy. I like going to
the MOMA. Course, usually Iím high.
Thereís nothing like a good movie to
put a bounce in your step but a bad
one can send you stomping into ranty-town.
Iím a walk out-er. I do not suffer
fools, not even if they cost me nine
bucks. I think movie critics should
have to list four of their favorite
movies before their current review.
The last four movies I left in the middle
of: "Four Feathers",
"Igby Goes Down",
"The Italian Job" and
"Bad Santa". Yeah, Bad Santa.
I know it was the same guy who
did Crumb and Ghost World. I thought
it was dumb.
I canít stomach most television.
Itís not just the bad writing, bad
acting and fake reality, itís the tragic
case studies that pop up between
the shows. Whenever I see a woman
in a Vagisil commercial or a dude
hawking Hemorrhoid cream I think,
"Wow, that big move to Los Angeles
didnít really work out the way youíd
planned, huh? I bet the folks are proud."
Luckily I know how to read and do
it often and rarely when Iím high.
But sometimes I feel overwhelmed
reading Melville, Steinbeck, Camus
or any of the greats because not only
did they write brilliantly and often
but they did it all without the ability
to backspace. My mind turns that over
constantly. How exactly did they do that?
In this article alone Iíve deleted
like, thirty thousand times and it
Despite my harsh inner critic,
I like writing. To me, itís the best
escape, especially if Iím depressed.
It fulfills in me my work ethic
and sates my creative jones. I even
like writing for television. I love
being in a writers room no matter how
lousy the show is. Being around other
creative people is one of the most
energizing experiences I know of.
The paycheck helps, too.
Wake me when I get another job.
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