The following is another unsolicited account of the 2004 Las Vegas
Comedy Festival
"Las Vegas Comedy Fiasco"
I arrived on Wednesday evening, the first night of the festival, around 6:30pm-- primed and ready for the Royal Flush Comedy Competition. Like others, I was told that I had to register for it weeks earlier, so I did. This particular "contest" was to be held around 8pm in the Pavilion of the Golden Nugget. Upon entering the hotel, I was struck by the lack of signage promoting the festival. You would think that there would be some sort of marquee or banner saying "Welcome!" or something resembling that. Not a chance. I was told later on that they weren't allowed to hang banners on or in the hotel, and I think that's rather shitty and a damn shame. Considering that the Golden Nugget is the "hot" hotel for downtown at the moment thanks to a couple of television shows taped there, I thought that hosting a comedy festival would certainly be worth advertising and promoting.
I walked up to the first showroom that I saw, and on a stand in front of the door it read "Las Vegas Comedy Festival - Invited Guests Only." I peaked into this large, mostly empty showroom and saw that it was set up for something, I just didn't know what yet. I looked for and found a hotel directory on a wall that told where festivities were happening. It didn't say what exactly was going on in what room, just "LVCF - insert room name here." So I went for a walk. I found one room upstairs that seemed to be the room for The Wild Card Competition which was to be held at 7pm. I wanted to check this out to see how everything was being run, etc. There were dozens of comics and would-be comics all signing up to get their three minutes. The room that they had them in was ridiculously small. By small we're talking about 50 people packed into a space no bigger than a typical master bedroom. I squeezed in for a brief moment but was overcome by the number of people crowded into the room and the distinct smell of budding comedian hope.
I was told by email that there would be a festival office to get information. Of course, it would have been nice to have a sign or a staffer hanging around JUST TO TELL YOU where to find that office. If you wanted to get information, you had to hunt it down yourself--even if you just wanted information about where the information room was. Good luck with asking someone connected to the festival. One gal I spoke with about upcoming events knew less than I did and even gave me the wrong information before resorting to saying, "You know what? I don't really know." I heard dozens of people asking questions to anyone who would listen. Comics would piece together tidbits of info that they had and would take it upon themselves to connect the dots.
Finally around 8pm, the people running the Wild Card "Contest" upstairs raced down to set up for the Royal Flush show in the Pavilion. I called my significant other right before that, telling her that I was really looking forward to the show because it was in the main pavilion and looked very promising. A festival staffer began handing out registration and talent release forms to all of the comics waiting to get on the list. "Registration form?" I thought. This looked very familiar. It was the same form that I filled out online and contained questions like "What is your yearly income?" What an odd thing, to hand out a registration form minutes before a contest when the registration was officially CLOSED days before. No matter what they said online, ANYONE could have walked up and asked to get on the list, and they did. I was also told that since this "contest" was for professionals only, that we needed to bring our headshots, bio, etc. and that they would not be returned. Before the festival, I put together several press kits expecting that since I was to be in three different events, someone would ask for them. Not one time did ANYONE want to see someone's resume, bio, or headshot. That's why, I suspect, that during the Royal Flush show, several comics who were clearly NOT pros in the most general use of the term, were on the show.
Okay, back to the contest--the order that you went up was the order that you turned in your registration sheet. No names out of a hat, nothing like that. So, for example, if you happened to have asked for the sign-up sheet first, and turned it in first, then you just shot yourself in the foot. I suspected that this was what was happening, so I held back before filling out mine to at least get a ten comic buffer. The registrar would write down your name and that was that. As time went on, we had about thirty comics set to go up to do five minutes each. They would take the top ten comics from that night to go to the next round. There was no mention of what the judges were looking for, nor did anyone ask. I just assumed that it was best to be clean, funny, and to stick with the allotted time. Someone with the festival took you backstage in groups of five before your set so you would be ready.
Let me explain something to you about this showroom. It was absolutely GORGEOUS: very well done and I think it could have easily sat 500 people. The stage was big, they had a spotlight, and at least one cash bar. It was as if they were expecting actual audience members. Go figure! Speaking of audience. Remember that sign I mentioned that said "Invited Guests only?" Well, as I stood there in front of the pavilion there were literally hundreds of people walking by every hour, most of whom glanced at the sign and kept on going. "Invited guests" meant the comics, not the crowd...but passersby didn't know that...so they kept on-a-walkin'. Apparently, that sign was used for the cocktail reception held hours before, but no one had taken it down! It wasn't until late into the "contest" that someone scribbled on a piece of paper "Free Comedy Show. Come In" and wedged it in the sign...but it was too little too late. Un-fucking-believable. A huge fuck-up right in front of a busy traffic area of the hotel. Donald Trump would have shit-canned someone for that little blunder.
Due to the lack of audience, we were told to sit in the chairs and make an audience for the comics. Going up for only other comics in the "contest" was strange because, unless they had already been on, comics were really self-absorbed in preparing for their own set--as they should have been. It's hard to be an attentive and receptive audience member when you're worried about your own set. Besides, who the hell wants to laugh for their competition?! But to hell with it, on with the show....
Jack Mayberry was the host and I really felt bad for the guy. I mean, to me, Jack deserved a little better than trying to pull humor out of the less than sparse crowd that we had in the showroom. He's a pro though, so it didn't faze 'im. Love that guy. I watched the first couple of comics go on and take the bullet. While sitting there being a good audience member for my fellow comics, I leaned forward and asked a young lady in front of me, who looked to be with the festival, "Is that the list?" because I just wanted to know when I was up. She replied "I'm a judge" and so I went elsewhere for the info I needed.
When she said "I'm a judge," what she SHOULD have said was "I'm THE judge." This PA or intern, or whoever she was, was THE judge. A comic, no. A booker, no. Just a festival runner of some sort with a clipboard, taking some notes and marking on a template. There was someone else giving the comics the light but she was not writing anything down. "Wow! This is a contest?" I thought surely that there would be...say...a panel of maybe three judges all with some sort of insight to comedy, or at least with a good sense of humor. Club owners, bookers, Paula Abdul, someone, anyone but ONE gal connected to the festival? Come on.
As time went on, and on, and on, and on, the crowd went from small to nonexistent. The last ten comics basically went on for themselves while other comics hung out and mingled in the back. The one "judge" still sat attentively, a few rows from the front of the room. Over three and a half hours later, it was over. What was supposed to be about 30 comics, grew to, I believe, 33 or 36 because even MORE people were allowed on. One person was even inserted right in front of me minutes before I was to go up. If I were to walk into a contest and get on like that, I would be thrilled, but if you're the one getting bumped back for someone who just showed up, that's total fucking bullshit. Who's this fuck for just popping in like that? Like others who had sincere hope in the process, I arrived on time, I got my spot, and then watched as the rules changed right before my eyes. It was clear that this was no real contest of wits, but more of a showcase for comics who had friends connected with the festival along with a judge who was more of a dummy, almost there just for show.
After my set, which went very well, I came down, got my props from some comics who I really like, and that all felt good. I decided to run up to a different show to see what their show was like. It was the warm-up show for the Comedy Club Pick contest. Their crowd was even smaller. Actually, who am I kidding, it was just the comics. Of course, what do you expect? It was upstairs in a ballroom, and unless you just happened to be lost, none of the general public would ever go up there. A huge waste. Hundreds of people wandering around the Golden Nugget looking for free shit and NO ONE at these shows. That's inexcusable because the AARP convention was in town that night and booked up a lot of the hotels since Bush and Kerry were to be at the convention center a couple of miles away the next morning. If not anything, we could have packed these shows with seniors. Whoever is in charge of promoting the show to the general public should be fired. Seriously, there was no excuse for that. That night, after all was said and done, a lot of the comics ended up hanging around at the Golden Nugget Sports Book drinking and story swapping. I must say that THIS was the best part of the whole thing for me: just hanging out with comics, some you haven't seen for years because you went from middle to headliner and never saw them again, and some you just kinda wanted to meet and finally did. That's what is was all about for me at the time. Still beats having a real job any day.
Like I read in a previous letter, I too was told that I would be able to do the Boston Comedy Festival audition and, I quote, could "just show up" for the Letterman audition as well. In fact, I printed out the email I was sent and took it with me just in case.
On Thursday morning, day two, I called the office to inquire about the Boston Comedy Festival auditions. I only happened to have the office number because I FOUND a festival info packet and flipped through it. I was told that the list just came out and that I was not on it. "Not on it? How could that be?" The officeperson said that the BCF people were at the contests the night before and they decided from that who would be on. NOT TRUE. If there was a BCF person at the Royal Flush show for the entire show, then that's news to me. I'm a pro, had a really solid set, and I know that I would have been on that list if that were the case. I'm not the only one who will say that either. Furthermore, many people on the list they made were NOT in any of the contests from the night before. In fact, most weren't. So it was clear that THAT list was partially pre-made leaving little room for contestants to get in on. Again, BULLSHIT, since we were told differently. So, get this. Also on Thursday I asked about the Letterman audition. I wanted some clarification because on a flyer that I found at the hotel it said Saturday, on the website still to this day it says Friday. Turned out the website was wrong...again.
"But what's this??" Here's a curious thing that I found...on the flyer for Thursday it listed ANOTHER Royal Flush Competition. Whaaa?? But there was to only be one and that was one that we "MUST" register for. They held another Royal Flush show on Thursday night and, like the one before, people just ran down to register right then and there. No "Hey, did you sign up online?" No "Hey, are you REALLY a comic?" Just "If you want to be on this show, fill out this registration." WOW! Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the idea of the more, the merrier, but if I would have known I could have just walked in and signed up on the second night of the fest, I would have stayed home the first night . Going a step further, I could have brought a buddy of mine with me who would have loved to work on his five minute set though he's only been doing comedy for about two months. Nothing would have stopped him, and anyone, from doing that. By this point, there were about another 15-20 comics in this "contest" for which the registration was officially closed days earlier. At least for these cats, they had somewhat of an audience thanks to Morgan and Mayberry standing by the pavilion doors and cat-calling passersby with, "Hey, free comedy show!! Wanna come in!?" and a few of them actually doing it. So what went from a 30 person contest for pros turned into at least a 50 person contest for anyone who said that they were a comic, all performing for...again...one judge who I STILL doubt was in a position to judge a bake-off, let alone a professonal comedy contest. Though I never let it show, I must say that I was a little pissed about the way things were going down. Luckily, I wasn't paying for a hotel like a lot of comics nor did I fly in from the east coast, expecting it would all be run by pros.
Official Rules for a contest are set for a reason and, to my knowledge, have to be followed by law especially in Las Vegas. The contest was a fucking free-for-all and I watched many funny comics, some of them I just worked with on the road, get pushed out because anyone who had a pen was allowed to perform. One chick did her set using a big flipchart with pictures. "Really? We're doing this, really??"
Friday morning--I was told Thursday night that the "winners" for the two Royal Flush contests would be announced on Friday morning along with who made it on the Letterman list. Again, this is bullshit to a lot of people because if you did somehow make the list, you didn't know it till just a few hours before you were to go back on that very afternoon. How fucked up is that? Needless to say, I wasn't on either list and it was shocking who was. Two guys from the contest not only moved on to the second round after walking on last minute, they also got to do the Letterman showcase, in which, considering their competition, they clearly didn't belong. Larry Reeb, Josh McDermitt, Rocky Laport (all Comedy Club Pick winners) auditioning with... who? Who are these two?? These guys were CLEARLY "ringers" in my mind just because of the preferential treatment at least one of them received and the fact that their festival sets didn't go over as well as many of the other comics' performances.
Other Stuff--I saw most of The Deuces Wild show on Thursday night and, up until then, it was the best show out of them all. The comics were good and tight with their time and the crowd was nice. The Boston Comedy Festival audition was total crap as was the Comedy Club Pick contest...good comics, no crowd, poorly run. I'm guessing that the weekend shows went better, but I don't know.
Final Thought--This festival is only in its third year so they have a lot of growing up to do. I have faith that it will get better, but judging from the the other two, they are slow to learn from their mistakes. With regard to the contests, they're going to have to make rules and stick to them or they'll find themselves being sued by someone who knows the law and knows how to litigate it. It really is a fucking disaster, especially with the last minute sign-ups, walk-ons, and lack of judges. Overall, I'd give this contest stuff a letter grade of a D, not failing it completely only because the panels they had were interesting for the newbies and seeing old friends all in one place is something to cherish.